Forever Sunshine
by JeanetteAnthony
Summary: Ed and Em move to Forks to live w/their cousin Alice who is BFF with Bella.Ed meets Bella and have an instant connection.Ed is hiding a secret that could tear his family & his friendships apart.How do you tell the truth w/o hurting the ppl you love? E
1. Greasy Handkerchieves

**I don't own any of the characters, they belong to SM. **

**Chapter 1**

**Bella**

I sat with my back against the large oak tree with my nose stuck in my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice. I loved Jane Austen. I sighed heavily as the soft breeze rolled through, rustling my dark brown hair and the leaves of the giant tree, some falling gently to the soft green grass. I brushed my hair out of my face and I watched as one fell onto my bare foot. I wiggled my toes and it slowly fell to the ground. It was a beautiful bright green color, the color of spring, at least here in Washington it was everywhere. I heard the soft ringing of the bell coming from behind me, and I sighed. Back to class I go. Just one more week, I thought to myself.

I silently packed up my books into my tote bag and shoved it onto my shoulder and slipped my shoes back on. I grabbed my Snapple off the ground and drank the last of it and threw it in the nearby trash can. I trudged along the dirt path I had created from my many journeys to my quiet oasis under the tree away from the whole population of the school. Everyone was gathering their bags and books and hurriedly walking in every direction to get to class. I wasn't in a hurry. I hated Calculus more than anything else.

I walked into Calculus just as the late bell rang and took my seat near the back of the class and collapsed into the hard cold metal chair. I looked up and saw Mr. Richards writing in big letters on the chalk board his white head bobbing as he moved along. EXAM FRIDAY. I sighed. I hated that old man just as much as I hated calculus.

He turned around to face the class, adjusting his big black glasses on his big nose. The whole class laughed seeing the white line of chalk that he had just smeared across his wide nose. He put the chalk down and he tightened his plaid tie up into his throat and smoothed it down along his great big belly. I stared at his dress shirt and realized he had a big stain right where he had situated his tie. Sly, I thought to myself, trying to cover up his sloppiness.

He began talking in his meek little voice and I immediately tuned him out, pulling my notebook out and doodling random shapes and designs. I was so wrapped up in my doodle of a palm tree that I jumped when someone poked me in the shoulder with a pen.

"Bella!" Jessica whispered at me. I turned to look at her, startled. She started laughing silently almost falling out of her chair. I looked up at the teacher who was turned toward the board writing formulas. I threw my pencil at her. She cringed as it hit her in the chest and dropped to her lap.

"Don't do that to me," I hissed at her, leaning my head down and covering my mouth as to not draw attention to myself. She just giggled quietly and slipped a bright pink flier onto my desk.

I threw her a sideways glance narrowing my eyes but she just pushed it farther onto my desk. I rubbed my face and sighed then looked down at the paper. I read the big black letters on the top of the paper. Spring Break Luau. I looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. Why in the hell would I want to go to this? I shoved the paper away and she looked at me and frowned. I sighed. She always got so upset when I didn't want to participate in normal teenage debauchery. I mouthed to her I'll think about it knowing full well that I wasn't going to go and continued doodling in my notebook.

After an agonizing hour of nonsense, the bell rang and I jumped up quickly and almost ran to the door. I was hoping I could get away from Jess before she could hunt me down and interrogate me on why I didn't want to attend to the so-called "Party of the Year". Weren't they always? I rolled my eyes at my statement and got lost in my thoughts.

"Bella, slow down!" I heard Jessica running to catch up. Shit, I thought to myself. She caught up with me and she interlocked our arms. "So..." She trailed off. She stared at me blankly and I stared ahead intent on not answering her. "Have you thought about it?"

I turned my head to look at her. I drew my hand up and pinched the bridge of my nose. I hated being guilt tripped into doing stupid things like this. She grabbed my shoulders and shook them, knocking my bag off. "Jess, why do you always insist on going to these lame ass parties?" I grabbed the bag before it could fall to the floor. Her hands flew up into her long brown hair and began twirling it nervously.

"I..I…I don't know. It's not lame Bella! If you just TRIED to have fun for once...." She huffed looking hurt that I had just insulted her idea of fun. "It will be fun! I can do your hair…" She said grabbing my dark brown hair and twirling her fingers through it, smiling widely. I looked at her doubtfully. The smile immediately disappeared. She dropped her head in defeat.

"Come on, Jessica, get real. It's going to be nothing but a bunch of the horny jocks and slutty cheerleaders sucking face and making fun of us less fortunate people ." She furrowed her brow to contemplate what I just said. We walked in silence for a minute and she grabbed my arm tightly and yanked.

"Hey! I am not less fortunate! I live in a nice house!" she said looking hurt and folding her arms to her chest. God, sometimes she was so dense. I rolled my eyes at her and continued walking with her until I reached my English class. We stopped at the door and she leaned against it. She brought her hands to her chest and pressed them together. She began to pout. "Pleeeeaassseee!!" she begged. I scoffed and grabbed the door and pulled it open knocking her out of the way. I shook my head and walked past Jessica and she threw me a dirty look. I could tell she was mad. She turned and stomped off down the hall. I walked into the half empty room and sat down near the window. Ms. Patterson was my favorite teacher. I loved this class. She was sitting at her desk waiting for the students to finish piling in.

I sat in the chair with my head in my palm and stared out the window waiting for class to start. Two tall boys sat in front of me and completely ignored my presence. One I recognized as Jasper Hale. I didn't know him very well but I knew he had a twin sister named Rosalie. They definitely were the wonder twins. Beautiful, rich and absolutely perfect. I sneered at my own thoughts. The two boys sat down noisily and began talking about the party on Friday.

"Man, I can't wait to go to that party on Friday" the dark haired boy said banging his fist on the desk. "It's supposed to be the biggest party of the year. I heard a lot of hot chicks will be there." They both laughed and high-fived each other. I wrinkled my nose at their crudeness. Boys! I thought to myself.

Ms. Patterson cleared her throat loudly. She was so tiny I could barely see where the noise came from over the boys. I learned forward a little and I saw herstandin in front of the class patting her short curly red hair and flattening her shirt and waited patiently as the noise slowly died down. She leaned against her desk and looked around the quiet room. Someone in the back coughed. She grabbed her book that was sitting next to her on the desk and held it to her chest and she smiled.

"So this week, we will be discussing Romeo and Juliet." A couple of kids groaned in disappointment which caused an uproar among the class. She immediately tried to shush the class and everyone quieted down again. "Alright, alright. I KNOW that you all LOVE this book, oh so much, but it is my favorite book. At the end of the book, we are going to write a 4 paged paper on how this story relates to Midsummer's Nights Dream." Great, another bullshit paper I had to write. Awesome.

I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for Ms. Patterson to continue her discussion. She began talking again about the book, which I had read 3 times already. I let my mind wander to relating factors of both stories and leaned my head into my palm and waited for the next hour to go quickly.

-----

I walked slowly along the walkway after class as the sun beat down on my dark hair making my head hot. The sun was hardly ever out but today is was blaring down on the top of my head, as if confirming my already terrible day. Normally I would welcome the sun, anything was better than the rain and overcast clouds, but today, it taunted me. I lifted my head toward the sun, shielded my eyes and stuck my tongue out at it. Stupid sun. I pulled my hood up over my head to take some of the heat off. It helped, but not much.

I slowly trudged along walking to the parking lot not in any hurry to get into my truck and make it home. I thought of all the things I had to do at home and I suddenly wished I had a much more exciting life. I finally made it to the truck and I hardly notice Jessica, leaning against my dirty truck with her ear buds popping out from behind her long brown hair. I nearly ran into her. She looked up at me startled and pulled her ear buds out. She gave me a disgruntled look and she turned quickly, her bright blue sundress whipping around her. She tugged on the door handle signaling me to unlock the doors. I pulled out my keys and unlocked her door. The lock popped open and she jumped into the front seat without a word. I began to wonder why it is that I hung out with her in he first place. I walked slowly to my door and opened it. I threw my tote bag onto seat next to me and sat down, leaning my head against the back of the seat. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I suddenly felt tired.

"Umm, Hello? Can we go please?" She stared at me harshly. I opened my eyes and slowly turned my head to give her a dirty look and come back with a witty comment but she wasn't paying attention because she had already put her ear buds back in and was bobbing her head to the music. She must still be mad at me from earlier. Who cares, she was always mad at me for some stupid reason or another.

I put my keys in the ignition and turned the key. Nothing. I furrowed my brow and stared at the dashboard. I turned the key again. Nothing. I leaned forward and rested my head onto the steering wheel. Not again. This happens all the time. I pulled off my hood and I heard Jessica scoff. I closed my eyes and I heard the door open and Jessica slam the door. The whole truck shook. After a few minutes, I heard a knock on my window. I figured it was Jessica so I ignored it. I heard another knock, this time louder. I sat up and opened my eyes to look into the most beautiful face I had ever seen. I stared at the face for a couple seconds before realizing what was happening. He signaled to me to roll down the window and I started turning the handle. The window slowly came down groaning with every crank and the heat rolled through the window along with an amazing smell.

"Hi" He said smiling the most perfect smile I had ever seen. "Are you having some car trouble?" I looked at him mesmerized. I was speechless. I nodded slowly and he chuckled. "I don't mean to pry but I was sitting over there waiting for my ride to come and I couldn't help but notice. Do you need any help?" he said running his fingers through his hair, his unbelievably perfect bronze hair.

"Yeee…….yes" I said stuttering slightly. I swallowed hard and slowly reached for the handle. I felt like such a dumbass. Since when did I stutter? I shook my head trying to concentrate on the task at hand trying not to look at him. I opened the door and climbed out of the truck.

"May I?" he motioned for the door. I nodded, stepped back and he took the door from me and reached into the truck and popped the hood. I stepped back even further and watched him walk around to the front of the truck and open the hood. The muscles in his arms rippled as he held the hood. I realized I was holding my breathe and I suddenly released it quietly. I stepped closer to the truck to see what he was looking at. The closer I got, the more I could smell his intoxicating scent.

He didn't look like much of a mechanic to me, but what do I know? I slowly walked around to the front of the truck and peaked around the hood. He was holding the hood up with one hand and grabbing at some wires with the other. I watched him work under the hood, pulling at wires and cables. I looked him up and down inspecting this unfamiliar figure working under my hood. He was wearing a fitted white shirt with black jeans and black converse. I watched him for a couple minutes before I spoke.

"Is there any hope?" I asked as I kicked the tire of my old truck. Stupid rusty piece of shit. I had been begging my dad to buy me a new one since last summer. I had my eye on this newer truck. I begged my dad to buy it for me but with no such luck.

"You know Bella, you are lucky to even have a car. Do you know how many people your age that don't have a car?" I rolled my eyes at my father's speech. I had heard this over and over again. "If you want a new car, you are just going to have to pay for it yourself. You know the way things are now that your mom is gone" That always made me feel like shit.

My mom had died almost 2 years ago from breast cancer, just 2 days after my 15th birthday. That was the worst birthday I had ever had. She was so sick and so weak but she refused to not let me celebrate my birthday. She got up really early that August morning and made me a huge chocolate cake with purple frosting and cooked me a huge breakfast. She decorated the house and had some of our friends over to celebrate. Charlie of course missed my birthday because he was off working that day, as usual. He was never around, and I sort of blamed him for my mom's death. I shook my head trying to shake the unhappy memories away coming back to reality.

I watched the unfamiliar presence as he scratched his head for a minute smearing grease across his forehead. 'I am not too sure really. I'd have to take it to my house and give it a good once over before I could really give you a definite answer." I giggled looking at his forehead. He looked at me confused.

"You have um…grease on your forehead" I said laughing a little louder than I meant to. He blushed a bit as he tried to wipe it off his forehead, failing miserably in fact making it worse. His green eyes began to sparkle. My heart beat a little faster. What was wrong with me? This is just a guy. Sheesh, no big deal. He smiled and leaned forward again to play with all the wires and cables

Suddenly I realized Jessica wasn't anywhere to be found. I looked around the parking lot, my truck was the only one left. Where had she gone? She was always walking off doing her own thing, but she was always getting into trouble. I walked a little closer to the hood.

"Hey, have you seen my friend anywhere? She was standing out here a few minutes ago but…" I trailed off as he raised his eyes to mine his bronze hair falling into his face. He pushed it back with his forearm.

"I saw her walk towards the gym but I didn't see where she went. Sorry." He looked back down and he tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brow to concentrate. I sighed heavily. My thoughts were startled by the slamming of the hood. I looked up and he was wiping his hands off on a handkerchief and looking at them intently trying to get all the grease and dirt off. He raised his eyes to meet mine and I could feel my face suddenly get hot. He smiled.

"Well, I think it might be your battery cables. I think you have a bad connection but I need all my tools to take a look at it. If you like you can bring it back to the house to have it looked at. I think I fixed it for now. Give it a try." I walked back to my truck and turned the key. Suddenly it sputtered alive. I grinned widely. Thank God!

I stood there and stared speechless. Who in the hell was this guy and why had I never seen him before? "Oh, by the way, my name is Edward," he said reaching his hand out to shake mine. I stood there stiff. He frowned a little when I didn't grab it immediately. I shook my head and grabbed his hand.

"I am Isabella, but everyone calls me Bella. Thank you…you know for fixing my truck" I said shaking his hand . He pulled his hand away and I looked down at my hand which now had grease on it. I looked at it disgusted for a moment and then I looked up.

"Sorry," he mumbled looking a little embarrassed. "Here," he said handing me the handkerchief he had in his hands. I took it and wiped my hands off slowly, smiling. "You can keep that, I have more," he said looking away. I couldn't help my mind from spinning.

"So…" I said, started off trying to gather the words to make a complete sentence. " I have never seen you around before. Are you new here?" I asked wringing the handkerchief in my hands. I looked down nervously.

"Oh…..umm yeah. We just moved here from Chicago. Forks is really…different from Chicago," he said chuckling, more to himself than to me, I thought.

Just as I was about to open my mouth, a huge muddy white jeep came speeding through the parking lot and screeched to a halt right in front of us. I stood back shocked and the dark tinted window rolled down and music poured out of the window. A head popped out and he looked at me and winked. Shocked and utterly disgusted at the wink, I glared at him.

"Bella, this is my ride and my older brother, Emmett." he said shaking his head. Emmett reached over and turned the music down. Edward walked over to the side of my truck and picked up his backpack.

"So, Bella, is it?" Emmett said while watching his brother gather his things. Edward threw a look at Emmett. I nodded quickly. "Nice to meet you, Bella. Edward hurry up, I got to get home before everyone does, I left a huge mess in the kitchen and I've got to clean it up."

Edward walked around slowly to the other side of the jeep. He stood up on the huge tire and looked over the top of the jeep and looked at me. "If you need me to look at it, I will have better chances if you bring it to the house." he smiled widely.

Jessica came running up to me nearly knocking me over to see the mysterious boys who were now standing there talking to me. She was such an attention whore. She smoothed out her dress and stood still sticking out her chest slightly. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Don't be rude, Bella. Introduce me to your new friends," she said smiling the biggest smile I had ever seen her smile in my life and batting her eyelashes. Christ, I thought to myself. I looked back at Edward and Emmett who were looking at her wide eyed. I sighed.

"This is Edward and his brother Emmett. Edward fixed the truck for us," I said matter-of-factly. She giggled a little bit and I looked at her quizzically. What in the hell was she doing? I grabbed her arm and I lead her back to the truck. She ripped her arm from my grip, glared at me and walked to the other side of the truck and got in, slamming the door. I looked over my shoulder and noticed they were still watching us. "Thanks Edward for your help" I said smiling. "See you around." I could only wish that last statement came true.

I got into the truck and watched as Emmett speed away through the parking lot, stereo blaring. I sat a little too long and Jess huffed and stamped her foot on the floor. I put the truck into drive, and slowly pulled out of the parking lot thinking about what had just happened. I couldn't believe I had acted like such a dumbass. I couldn't think of anything but that perfect smile the whole time I drove home. I sighed. It wasn't such a bad day after all, I smiled to myself.

**A/N- So this was my first fan fic and I hoped you enjoyed it. I am slowly but surely still working on it so bare with me.**


	2. Chewed Pen Caps

**I don't own any of the characters, they belong to SM. **

**Bella**

I pulled into Jessica's driveway. Jessica quickly pulled on a jacket and buttoned it to cover up her bare shoulders. She knew how her dad hated the way she dressed. She grabbed her stuff and got out. I just sat there for a couple minutes and watched her go in.

I then drove myself home only 3 houses down, a little guilty that Jess was so mad at me. She would get over it I expected. I pulled into my driveway and I saw my dad's cop car already in front of the house. I slowly grabbed my stuff from the truck and walked up the gravel path to the front steps. Charlie stood in the front doorway watching me climb the steps. I kept my head down smiling to myself as I shuffled past him wordlessly as he held the door open for me. He stared at me as I climbed the creaky steps to my room. I wasn't in the mood for talking at that moment. I wasn't even sure if I had the ability to talk after seeing that perfect face.

"Bella" he yelled up at me. I turned slowly to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. He stood there for a moment before speaking again. "Dinner is in an hour." I nodded and continued up the stairs.

I stood in front of the door with my name on it. I stared at it. I gently touched the purple block letters my mother had painted . I missed her, a lot. I walked into my room and closed the door, leaning up against it. God, why was I so tired. I sunk down the door and sat there with my knees into my chest. I rested my chin on my knees and looked out the window. The sun was going down. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I don't know how long I was asleep for but when I heard a loud banging on my door, I stumbled to my feet and jumped back from the door. I could barely see it. It had grown dark in my room.

"Bella, come down for dinner. It's ready." Charlie said through the door. I wasn't really hungry but, I knew Charlie would be mad if I didn't come down for dinner a.k.a. "bonding time". I sat on my bed for a minute and pulled off my shoes and straightened my t shirt and jeans up. I walked into the bathroom and ran the water and slopped it lazily onto my face hoping it would wake me up a bit. It helped but not much.

I opened my door and drug myself down the stairs slowly and the stairs creaked under my weight. I tugged my blue shirt down as far as it would go and I flattened my hair before entering the dining room hoping he wouldn't notice that I had been sleeping. I rounded the corner to the dining room and the table was already set, bowls of food sitting in the middle of the table. Charlie walked into the room and put the bread down on an open spot on the table. He looked up at me and nodded. I took my regular place at the table and sat and waited silently. Charlie sat down at the other end of the table and began serving himself quickly. I watched him in silence waiting for him to finish. It was my favorite, meatloaf. I smiled knowing he made it for me even though he was a terrible cook. It was the thought that counts.

"So Bells, how was school?" he said his mouth full of bread. I began scooping a small portion of potatoes onto my plate. I smiled at him thinking about Edward fixing my truck.

"Fine," I said.

Charlie just chewed his food and stared at me for a moment. He watched as I picked at my potatoes and meatloaf. "Well, how are you, You know, besides your truck breaking and all. That was nice that kid helped you out. What was his name again? Edwin? Edmund?" I raised my head and stared at him, surprised.

"How…How did you know about that?" I stumbled to find the words. He smirked at me while he chewed his food.

"Jessica called while you were asleep and told me what happened." He smiled. He also knew I was sleeping. I sighed. "You were snoring again, Bella. Are you not getting enough sleep?"

"I am fine Charlie. I just had a long day at school, that's all." He nodded slowly and finished eating his food. We sat in silence for the rest of the meal.

I had kitchen duty as usual. Charlie went to watch TV and I carried all the dishes to the sink and dropped them in. I ran the water and began filling the sink and while I waited for the sink to fill I finished clearing all the dishes from the table and putting away the leftover food. I listened my Ipod as I washed all the plates. I sighed as I looked at the clean kitchen, finally done. I leaned against the door frame between the kitchen and the living room. Charlie sat on the couch watching baseball, very engrossed in his game. Don't get me wrong, I loved Charlie, but I never really had a connection to him. He hated when I called him Charlie, but what did you expect when he was hardly around when I was growing up. It just felt odd to call him Dad.

I walked to the laundry room and started the wash. I walked into the living room and looked at him and chuckled to myself. "I am doing some laundry, do you need anything washed?" I stood there waiting for an answer which I never got. He was so involved in what he was doing. I trudged upstairs and grabbed some laundry from the corner of my room and put it in the basket and lugged it down stairs. As I reached the bottom stair, there was a knock on the front door. I set my laundry down and answered the door. It was my dad's best friend Billy Black and his son Jacob.

"Hey Bells!" he said as he wrapped me up in his arms and giving me a bear hug. I gasped for air as he squeezed me tightly. I wiggled to get out of his grip and finally he put me down, laughing. After I finally gained my balance, I opened the door wider for them to come through. Jacob grinned at me and followed his father into the living room. Wow, Jacob was growing so fast. He was a year younger than me and nearly a foot taller. He was becoming quite handsome but I had never noticed until now. I shrugged and grabbed my laundry and followed behind them.

I threw my laundry into the washer and slammed the lid shut. I walked out of the laundry room and Charlie, Billy and Jacob were standing in the living room talking. They saw me come out of the laundry room and they sat on the couch to watch the game. I knew they liked a beer while watching the game so I went to the fridge and grabbed two and handed them to Billy and Charlie.

"Thanks Bells," Charlie said patting my arm as I walked by. I just smiled. I was in a relatively good mood, so why not be nice.

I headed upstairs and I heard the rain beating down on the roof heavily. It reminded me of my mother, which I hated. I missed her so much. I went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower to relax me. Sometimes it was hard for me to fall asleep at night. I would dream of my mother and I would wake up in cold sweats crying and remembering that my mother would never be with me again. I never told Charlie about my dreams for fear he might send me to a shrink and that's the last thing that I wanted. I was grieving over my mother, I didn't need to pay someone to tell me that.

I got out of the shower and dressed for bed in my flannel pajama pants and a big t-shirt I had stolen from my mom's clothes before they had cleared her stuff from the house. It was a shirt we had gotten on our trip to Disneyland when I was about 8. It had Minnie and Mickey decal on it but the decal was beginning to wear off from many washes over the years. It was so old. I remember being so scared, I wouldn't go in the Haunted Mansion. Charlie was upset but Mom just held me until I stopped crying. We had a great vacation besides that mishap. That was one of the best memories I had of growing up. I brought the shirt to my nose and breathed in the smell of laundry detergent. Her smell was gone, long gone. I sat down on the bed and began to cry softly.

I heard Charlie turn the water on in the bathroom, so I abruptly stopped crying and wiped my eyes. I didn't want to chance Charlie busting in and seeing me cry. I tried to distract myself from my memories of my mother. I got up to grab my book bag and I saw the dirty handkerchief lying on the ground. I smiled as I picked it up and remembered him. I held onto it tightly and put it next to my bedside table and decided I was much more tired than I had realized. I turned off the light and let myself drift off into dreamland with images of that perfect face burned into my memory.

-----

I woke up the next morning, alarm blaring. Ugh. I groaned and rolled over and looked at the clock. 6:30 AM it stared back at me in bright red numbers. I slammed my hand down on the alarm trying to silence it. I closed my eyes and sat there a minute breathing in deeply. I decided it was time to get up and I walked to the bathroom to wash my face. Charlie was already in the bathroom so I decided that I would wait until he was done and slowly made my way back to my room. I grabbed my books and put them in my bag along with the handkerchief from the night table and put it in between the books. I decided to put some music on my Ipod before I left for school. After putting a couple of new songs on my purple Ipod, I slowly descended the creaky stairs into the kitchen. Charlie was standing against the counter reading the morning paper drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up from his paper.

"Morning Bells." he said quietly. He knew I wasn't a morning person. I turned my face to look at him squinting from the bright kitchen lights. I nodded and moved to the fridge. I grabbed myself a banana and sat at the kitchen table and slowly peeled it open.

"Bells, you really should eat more than that for breakfast you know. Breakfast is the most…" he said before I interrupted him.

"…important meal of the day. Yes, I know Charlie." I said slightly harsher than I meant. What can I say, I am really not a morning person. He frowned when I called him Charlie and took a drink of coffee and looked at the paper again.

"I really hate when you call me Charlie, Bells. Can't you call me Dad?" He asked looking hopeful. I sighed. A pang of guilt stabbed me in my chest. I could, but the point was I didn't want to do. I was guilt tripped into something once again that I didn't want to do. I sighed deeply. "Besides, you are so thin, you need to eat more. I am only trying to help."

"I am sorry Dad, its just a hard habit to break." I said softly trying to ease his pain. He smiled at me over his paper and he put it down on the counter and came over and knelt down in front of me where I was sitting in the chair.

"I am trying my hardest here Bells to make up for everything I missed out before Renee died. I can't go back and change it now, no matter how much I wish I could. I just want to be here for you now and I want you to know that I love you, no matter what." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. Damn it. Again, guilt. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, too Dad." I smiled into his neck. He pulled away, stood up and grabbed his coffee mug again.

"Alright. I've got to get to work early this morning. Couple of kids vandalized some property out by the highway. I've got to go check it out. Make sure you get to school on time." He said as he pour the rest of his coffee into the sink and sat his cup down into it. He trudged out the door in his big black boot and closed the door behind him. I sighed. I grabbed a cup from the strainer and poured myself some milk and sat in the kitchen for a couple minutes and then I heard Jessica pounding on the front door. I went and answered the door and there she was fully dressed in a short denim skirt and a black tank top with a light yellow cardigan over it topped off by a dark gray jacket. She was wearing her favorite pair of black letter boots that went up to her knees.. She rushed into the warm house and ran for the kitchen immediately opening the fridge.

I headed up the creaky stairs and into my room and looked into my closet. I looked through my clothes for 10 minutes and still couldn't decide what to wear. I looked at the clock again. Damn it, I was going to be late if I didn't hurry. I glanced out the window and noticed that it was a normal day in Washington, back to overcast. I reached in and grabbed a pair of light blue jeans and rummaged around to find my dark blue V neck sweater my mom bought me for my 15 birthday. I hurriedly put my clothes on and grabbed my navy blue converse and put them on. Once I was dressed, I went into the bathroom and brushed my hair out and brushed my teeth. I looked in the mirror and shook my head. I was so plain but I didn't have to time to focus on the lack of makeup I was wearing. I ran down the stairs where I saw Jess waiting impatiently against the door.

"I am sorry. Let's go before we are late." I said pushing her out the door.

"Well, that isn't my fault now is it?" She said at me from under the hood of her jacket as the rain poured down onto us as we walked to the truck. I struggled to get the key into the lock and Jess was screaming something at me about her hair getting frizzy. I finally unlocked the door and slid in and unlocked her door for her. She got in and started complaining about how her hair was going to be ruined all day. For the love of Jesus, wasn't there anything else in the world besides her? She was so damn selfish. I started the truck and turned the defroster on. She rubbed her hands together furiously trying to warm them. She threw me a dirty look.

"Can't you make it warmer in here, I am freezing." I stared at her bare legs poking out from underneath her short denim skirt and laughed loudly.

"Well if you would dress weather appropriate, you wouldn't have this problem now, would you?" I said flicking her leg. She cringed when I did that and rubbed the spot softly as she pouted. I shook my head and began to back out of the driveway.

We didn't talk the whole way to school. I think she was still mad at me for party thing yesterday. I pulled into my usual spot and it was still pouring down rain. Jessica pulled her hood back over her head and got out. I grabbed my bag and ran to try to catch up with her.

"I am sorry about yesterday, Jess. I will go to the party with you if you really want. I heard that Mike Newton was going to be there." I said nudging her a bit. She raised her eyes to my face and smiled widely. I knew her weakness and it was Mike Newton. She had been in love with him since the 4th grade when he pushed her off the swings. She giggled and I put my arm around her shoulders as we walked to class.

We broke off into our separate ways and I walked off to my first class of the day, Psychology. I had a psych test that I had to pass which I am sure that I didn't. I didn't really have much time to study for it. Great way to start the day off.

My next class before lunch was Spanish. I walked into the room and sat in my usual spot, of course I was the first one there. I watched as the rest of the class piled in, waiting for Alice patiently. Alice finally came bouncing into the room. She was absolutely hands down my favorite person. We had grown really close over the last couple years. She really helped me when my mom died. She was my rock. It was a little funny how different we both were.

She was a small girl with short black hair. She was wearing a white leather jack that fell to her knees, a black blouse, dark blue designer jeans and black leather boots. Hardly did you ever see anyone in Forks wearing designer clothes. She definitely stood out. Me on the other hand, I just blended into the scenery, just the way I liked it.

"Hey Bella," she said sitting in the empty chair next to me pulling out her notebook and setting it down on the desk. "I have decided that we should have a party. My cousins just got into town a couple days ago and it looks like they are going to be staying permanently and well, I kind of wanted to show them a good time. I know you hate parties but it will only be a couple of people, I promise!"

I knew better. A couple people to Alice was 50. What was with everyone this week and parties? I know it was Spring Break but good lord. My friends have lost their minds. I felt alone in my battle against the parties. I guess I was different, really different from everyone.

We continued talking straight through Spanish. We talked mostly about her wanting to go shopping in Port Angeles and Seattle and how some random attractive guy had helped me fix my truck yesterday. I wasn't really into shopping but I listened to her as she rattled off her favorite designer stores that she wanted to go to. The bell rang loudly making Alice jump in her chair. We gathered our stuff up and walked off to the cafeteria. She talked my ear off asking tons of questions about the mysterious boy as we walked into the cafeteria and stood in line for lunch. I was searching in my bag for my wallet when I heard a male voice come up behind me and Alice. Alice started talking to him.

"I'd like to introduce you to my cousins, Bella." She said. I still had my head in my bag.

"Hi," I mumbled while searching for my wallet. I couldn't find it. "Where is that damn thing," I said raising my head and looking at Alice as she stood smiling in between two guys.

My eyes shifted to look at the male standing to the left side of her. I stared into those beautiful green eyes again. My knees grew weak and I grabbed the counter to hold myself up. My bag slipped off my shoulder and the contents fell all over the floor. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere. He smiled at me that same perfect smile and my heart began to pound. Damn my weak knees. How did he do that?

"Hi again……Bella," Edward said grinning smugly. Alice looked at Edward confused. I quickly bent down to pick up my books and put them back in my bag. He looked more handsome than he did yesterday wearing dark jeans, a blue button up shirt and black Nike's. He smelled just as good as I remembered.

"You……two know each other?" she said looking back and forth between us.

"Oh yes, we met yesterday after school," he said with another grin. I took a deep breath trying to steady my heartbeat. Suddenly, the handkerchief fell out from between the two books in my hands. My eyes grew wide. I shoved the handkerchief back into my bag hoping no one saw that but I looked up and Edward had a huge grin on his face. Oh My God! Was this really happening to me? He had seen it.

"He was the one I told you about, Alice. The one who helped me with my truck," I said looking up at her hoping she got the hint. I had been rattling on about how gorgeous he was for the last 20 minutes. Her eyes widened as the light bulb went off. She nodded in understanding and smiled. I blushed again and rose to my feet.

"Oh, that was Edward?. Well, I never realized I had such a sweet cousin!" She said squeezing his elbow. "And I assume you met Emmett already," She said turning slightly, poking a finger into his chest.

"Ouch," he said rubbing it quickly.

"Oh please, Emmett, like that really hurt. You run around chasing a football and throwing yourself into other guys and my FINGER hurt you? " She scoffed.

Emmett flashed me a big familiar grin and I could immediately see it was hereditary. He reached out and waited for me to put my hand in his. I hesitantly reached over and put my hand in his palm. His giant hand wrapped around mine and he shook it confidently. I smiled at him nervously and he dropped my hand. Man, did he have a grip. I pulled my hand to my body and gently rubbed it.

Alice laughed and pushed Emmett back behind her and we moved along the line, the guys falling behind us.

"Come on, I am starving" Alice grabbed a tray and began putting some fruit and salad on it. I bit my lip and glanced at her and she smiled at me as she grabbed an apple.

She walked by me in silence and arranged her plate carefully. I pulled a bowl of jello and salad onto my tray. She nudged me and looked behind my shoulder. I turned and saw Edward and Emmett piling tons of food onto their trays and fighting over the last brownie. Alice and I both giggled. They both turned and looked at us, Edward smiling and Emmett snatched the brownie from his tray.

"Ha HA!" He said shoving it into his mouth, brownie bits falling to the floor. We all started laughing. I shook my head. I kind of liked the new guys. At least I wasn't bored.

Just then Jessica ran up to me, grabbing my arm nearly knocking my tray from my hands. She was panting heavily. I raised my eye brow and waited until she could speak.

"Bella…." She said catching her breath. "Bella…..guess……who…..I talked to?" Everyone stared at her. Her cheeks grew pink. She suddenly recognized the guys from yesterday, and stood up straight and stuck her chest out again and smiled sweetly. "Oh hi again," She said batting her eyelashes at Emmett and Edward. I grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face me.

"What Jess?" I said looking her in the eyes. She turned her head and looked at the guys. She flipped her hair and giggled.

"I just wanted to tell you what happened in English with you-know-who," she said winking at me. I knew she meant Mike. I shook my head.

We all started walking towards the lunch lady and I paid for my lunch while Jessica went into detail about how Mike was dressed today. I looked around the cafeteria and noticed and empty table and Alice and I set our stuff down and took our seats as Jessica followed behind us with the guys, bouncing the whole way. The guys sat down next to Alice and faced me and Jessica sat next to me. Emmett tore into his food and completely ignored us and started talking to Edward about some car stuff.

"So who is this you-know-who person you speak of?" Alice said to Jessica as she bit into her apple. Jessica looked at her, smiled and grabbed her arm in excitement.

"Oh, just um….Mike Newton, the most gorgeous man known to earth!" she squealed. Alice rolled her eyes and Emmett looked up at Jessica with a scared look on his face. She continued to talk to Alice about Mike, as if she hadn't already heard these stories, but I stopped listening at that point. I have heard these stories so many times it was unbelievable. I ate my salad while Alice sat listening to Jessica's infatuation with Mike looking like a deer caught in headlights. I giggled as I watched Alice's face as she raised her eyebrows in surprise. Priceless.

I glanced over and locked eyes with Edward who smiled at me again. The things that smile could make me do. I felt myself blushing yet again. I looked down and continued picking at my salad suddenly feeling very self conscious. The bell rang signaling us that we had 5 minutes to get to class. I had barely eaten any of my salad soI threw my plate in the trash and walked back to the table where Alice and Edward stood waiting for me.

"Where did Jess and Emmett go?" I asked looking around. I didn't see them anywhere.

"Emmett has gym class so he went to the gym and Jessica ran into some girl and took off down the hall with her squealing." Alice said grabbing her stuff off the table. "So what class do you have now, Bella?"

"I've got Chemistry right now." I said slinging my bag onto my shoulder. Edward looked up quickly.

"What a coincidence, so do I. Is it with Mr. Morales?." he asked. I nodded. Alice pouted and stomped her foot.

"Well, at least you have a friend for next period Edward. I have to go tough out English all alone." She stomped away out the big glass doors. Edward and I stood there silent for a second as I stared at the ground. I slowly started walking towards the door and Edward followed next to me.

"So…..how is this Chemistry class?" he asked hanging his head down, tilting his head sideways and looking at me, smiling. Damn it, that smile again. Will it ever get old? I reached for the big glass door but he grabbed it before I could touch it and he pushed it open. I walked through it and smiled. Wow, polite and attractive.

"It's alright. Mr. Morales is pretty cool," I managed.

We walked silently down the hall to Chemistry and I walked in first, him following behind me. I took my normal spot and he stopped and talked to Mr. Morales. I unpacked my books and watched as Mr. Morales gave him a book and pointed to the open spot next to me. I was suddenly happy that Ben, my former lab partner, had broken his leg the previous week and was laying in bed at home, so there was conveniently an open spot for Edward right next to me. I smiled to myself as Edward took his spot and laid his books on the table.

"Alright everyone, we have a new student with us today. This…..is Edward Cullen." Mr. Morales said pointing to our table. Edward smiled his perfect smile, flashing his perfect white teeth and did a small wave. All the girls in the class looked at him and one of them giggled. I bowed my head and covered my eyes in embarrassment because the whole class was looking at us. Mike Newton glared at him. I don't think he was used to not being the center of attention. Mike huffed and turned around and started talking to the girl sitting next to him.

Mr. Morales began talking again and I lifted my head up and pulled open my book, turning the pages trying to find the right one. I went to grab for my pencil but I couldn't find it, so I went rummaging through my bag again. I was so unorganized. A pen suddenly appeared underneath my eyes. Edward was holding it in his hand. I looked up at him and took the pen.

"Thanks." I muttered softly. I furiously began scribbling notes down trying to catch up. I looked over at Edward's paper which was written in this small script writing. Nice and neat. I looked down at my paper. It was a mess. I slowly slid the paper closer to me letting my long hair fall between us trying to hide my messy writing.

We took notes all class and we hardly had time to speak to each other, not that I could manage to say something without stumbling through it anyways. The bell rang and I slid the pen over to his side of the desk. He picked it up and examined the pen. He laughed and I noticed I had unconsciously chewed the end of the pen off. I blushed. Had I really just chewed the shit out of Edward Cullen's pen?

"I am so sorry, Edward!" I tried to grab for the pen. He pulled his hand away and laughed.

"Don't apologize, Bella. It's just a pen." He slipped it into his back pocket and picked up his books and walked over to the door and waited for me. I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and began walking to the front of the classroom when suddenly I slipped in a puddle and flew forward, landing headfirst into the podium. Blackness.


	3. Unexpected Guests

**Once again I do not own these characters, they belong to SM.**

**Bella**

Edward and I sat up against my tree, me sitting in between his legs and we were laughing loudly. He was whispering jokes into my ear as I read my book, his warm breath tickling my ear. I leaned my head back onto his shoulder staring up at the sun, it blinded me and I closed my eyes and soaked up all of its warmth. He leaned over and gently kissed my neck and I groaned. This can't be real.

I opened my eyes again to look up at the sun, but it wasn't the sun. I was staring up into the fluorescent lights in the nurse's office. A dream, it was all a dream. I sighed. I covered my eyes and squinted as I raised my head. My head pounded as I sat up slowly. I grabbed my head in pain feeling a huge goose egg sized bump. I closed my eyes and groaned loudly.

"Hey sunshine, did you have a nice nap?" I recognized that smooth voice anywhere. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Edward standing at the foot of the bed, grinning at me. The nurse, Mrs. Sheppard, shuffled into the room and immediately pressed a cold compress to my head.

"Lay down dear, you hit your head pretty good," she said lowering me back on the bed while holding the compress in place. I grabbed it and held it there gently, wincing in pain. "You are lucky that this nice young gentleman had been standing near you, Ms. Swan. He carried you all the way over here." She smiled at Edward while fluffing her gray streaked hair. God, he even mesmerized the nurse. I groaned again, more out of embarrassment than pain. He carried me in here? Jesus, it wasn't my week. He has been saving me left and right. I must look like a damsel in distress to him.

The nurse walked out of the room and Edward came closer to my bed. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled down at me. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I am so incredibly sorry." I spit out. He chuckled.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? You are the one laid up in bed with an ice pack pressed to your forehead. I am perfectly fine." He said looking at the large bump on my forehead. Perfectly fine was right! I laughed at my personal joke and looked up at him.

"Thank you…I mean, again. This is the second day in a row you have pretty much saved me." He bowed slightly and held his position.

"Happy to be of service to you my lady," he said as he looked up at me from his bow and laughed. He stood up straight and suddenly Jessica and Alice ran in. They saw me lying down and ran to my side standing on either side of Edward.

"Bella, are you ok?" They both shouted. I flinched at the pain as I slowly tried to sit up so they would see I was fine. They both started talking at the same time, but I couldn't understand them.

"I am fine guys, really. I slipped in chemistry and hit my head. Edward brought me in here." They both looked at Edward. Alice smiled and squeezed his arm in appreciation while Jessica took the non-conventional route and tried flirting feverishly. She grabbed his bicep and gently squeezed while giggling.

"Wow you carried her in here all by yourself?" Jessica said looking up at him sweetly. Oh, god that's disgusting, I thought to myself. Edward gently patted her hand and pulled his arm out of her grasp.

"Yes, I did," he said, holding her hand momentarily and dropping it to his side, letting go. Smooth move. I smiled at that. "It was nothing really. She hit her head pretty hard. It was just first instinct to pick her up and bring her in here."

I was still feeling a little woozy as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and slid myself off touching my feet to the floor. I wobbled a bit but Alice grabbed my elbow to hold me steady. I slowly stood on my own feet and Alice helped me walk over to Mrs. Sheppard who was sitting behind a desk and I handed her the ice pack.

"Are you sure you are alright to go, Ms. Swan," She said looking very concerned. "I don't think you are in any condition to drive."

"No, I am fine really. I will have someone drive me home. Thank you though," I said slowly making my way to the door with Alice, hoping that she wouldn't want to pursue the issue further. She nodded and we all walked out to the parking lot which was almost empty by now.

"I can drive you home, Bella," Alice said carrying my bag on her shoulder reaching into it to find my keys.

"Alice, how will you get home? It's ok, I can drive myself I am fine," I said at the same time I tripped over my own feet and nearly fell but Alice grabbed my arm. I smiled widely. Nice, now no one was going to let me drive home.

Emmett pulled up in the big white jeep, blaring loud rock music. Emmett stuck his head out the window and smiled. "Come on, kids. Let's hit the pavement" He said motioning to Alice and Edward. Alice turned and looked at me and frowned.

"Emmett, I really think I should drive Bella home. She hit her head pretty good. Why don't you just follow behind me in the jeep and I can drop her off." Emmett nodded in agreement and she pulled out my keys and unlocked the doors. Jessica ran to the passenger door and opened it and waited for me to get in before getting in herself and slamming the door shut.

It was a really tight fit in the cab of my truck but we all squeezed in. Alice started the truck and it roared to life. We drove off slowly out of the parking lot with the big jeep following close behind.

"I am so excited for the party this weekend. It should be so much fun," Alice said bouncing in the drivers seat. "We can do a whole little make over on you Bells," She said giggling. Jessica turned her head quickly and glared at Alice.

"What party," She said staring at me. I closed my eyes and knew what was about to happen. I hung my head and closed my eyes in anticipation.

"Oh, I am having a party this weekend in celebration of the arrival of my favorite cousins," Alice said happily staring straight ahead. 'I have already invited a couple of people. You are more than welcome to come Jessica…that is if you want," she said turning to look at Jessica. The look on her face scared me. She scoffed and turned her head forward again and folded her arms to her chest. The look on her face softened a bit and she pursed her lips.

"Well Alice, I guess I will just have to think about that," she said turning her head and staring right at me. I knew what she meant. She was mocking me.

"Alice, I really don't think its necessary for…." I started to say.

"Oh NO Bella. Don't be silly," Jessica said sarcastically. "You should go to Alice's party." She smiled at me the fakest smile I had ever seen. Alice bounced excitedly. She hadn't notice Jessica was just being her usual nasty self.

"See Bella, This will be so much fun!!" she squealed and turned the old radio on and blared the music loudly, bobbing her head to the beat. Jessica narrowed her eyes at me and turned her head to stare out the window again. I turned around and saw Emmett and Edward driving behind us, Emmett rocking out and Edward was staring out the window aimlessly.

I sighed and turned back around. The tension in the truck was getting unbearable. It was amazing how such a small person like Jessica, could cause so much tension. I looked over and wondered if Alice had notice. Of course, Alice was oblivious to Jessica's tantrum. I wasn't sure if she just didn't care or she just really didn't notice. Either way, it didn't matter because I could feel it.

Finally Alice pulled into the driveway and Jessica threw open the door before we had even come to a complete stop and jumped out. She stomped off across the street to her house without a word. Alice looked at her puzzled and I just shrugged. Emmett pulled up along side the curb and parked in front of my house. We both slid out of the truck and Alice dropped the keys into my hand and smiled.

"Are you sure you are alright, Bella?" She said shifting her eyes to my forehead. I lifted my fingers to touch the evidence of my graceful exit from Chemistry.

"Aside from huge bump on my head and my bruised ego, I am fine. I promise." I smiled meekly. I started feeling nauseous. "I am just going to go inside and lay down for a little while before I make dinner for Char- I mean Dad. He should be home in a couple hours."

"Alright, then I will call you later to check up on you, ok?" Alice hugged me tightly before walking over to the jeep where Emmett and Edward stood watching us. I looked at Edward standing there with his hands in his pockets, smiling sweetly. I sighed.

I walked up the steps and into the house and closed the door and stood up against it and breathed in deeply. What a day. I knew I was clumsy but did this have to happen in front of the most gorgeous person alive? I shook my head trying to shake the thoughts away. Since when did I even care about some random boy? Some stupid random boy? Some stupid, incredibly attractive random boy? I shook my head again trying to focus. This was so unlike me. I looked at the clock that stood on the mantle. It was nearly 4. I had to hurry up and make dinner before Charlie got home.

I set my bag on the bottom stair and went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I searched for something to make but nothing looked appetizing so I decided to just make spaghetti. It was easy and I really didn't feel well enough to stand in the kitchen for hours to prepare a gourmet meal. I pulled out the meat and put it in a pan and began cooking it. It was eerily quiet in the house so I decided to grab my Ipod and listen to some music. I shuffled through some music before I found a song by my favorite band. I got in the cupboard and pulled out some aspirin and popped it into my mouth following it down with a big gulp of water. Hopefully that would take some edge off of the throbbing pain in my head.

I finished preparing the meal when the medicine finally kicked in. I bobbed my head to the music while setting the table. I laid out all the food on the table and waited in the living room for Charlie to show up. I looked at the clock and it was 5:20. I turned on the T.V and channel surfed for awhile when I heard the front door slam shut. Charlie came in soaking wet from the rain.

"Hey Bells," he said, taking off his wet jacket and hanging it on the peg near the door. I smiled at him. He took his boots off and laid them in the entry way and came into the living room and sat down in his usual spot. "Something smells good." he said smelling the air.

"It's spaghetti," I said softly. I looked up and saw Charlie gaping at my forehead. He opened his mouth to speak but I said something before he had a chance.

"Dad, it's not as bad as it looks. I just had an accident at school. It's fine," I said softly rubbing my head.

"Bella, why didn't the school call me and tell me? I am going to call down there tomorrow morning and talk with the principle," he said standing up, his face turning all different shades of red.

"No Dad, seriously, it is fine. Alice drove me home and took care of me. I wouldn't let them call, I am fine. Come on dinner is getting cold," I said trying to change the subject. His face turned back to its normal shade and he sighed. We walked to the table and sat down. I sat with my hands in my lap as he began serving himself.

"This looks good Bells. Thanks for cooking," he said shoving a forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Well, you aren't really the greatest cook in the world, Dad." I said smirking at him. He winked at me and continued eating. I scooped some salad and spaghetti onto my plate. I wasn't really hungry but I didn't want Charlie getting onto my case again.

We sat in silence the whole meal and I picked up the dinner plates and took them into the kitchen. He got up and went to the living room to clean his guns. I washed all the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and decided I would go upstairs to do some homework.

I grabbed my bag from the bottom step and carried it slowly up the steps to my room and I closed my door behind me and threw my bag on my desk. My head started hurting again so I went into the bathroom to look at the damage. There was a huge baseball sized bump on my head. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and stomped out of the bathroom. I wondered if I could stay home until the swelling went down and I probably could have whined to Charlie to write me a note but I had already told him it was no big deal. There goes that option.

I changed into my favorite pair of old navy blue sweats and a black tank top and sat down to do some homework. I really didn't want to but I really had to start on my English paper so I pulled up my laptop, turned on my Ipod and started writing the opening paragraph. I read it and re-read it but I didn't like it so I deleted it. I sat and stared at the screen for a long time, nothing coming to me. I sighed. I decided maybe math would be a better idea so I got in my bag and pulled out my math book, the dirty handkerchief falling to the floor. I blushed and picked it up. It was smeared with grease stains. Maybe I should wash it, I thought.

I grabbed some towels laying in the corner and went to the bathroom and grabbed Charlie's dirty towels thrown on the floor. I descended the stairs slowly with the basket on my hip pushing the towels farther down into the basket so they wouldn't fall out. I lifted my head and saw a guy standing in my entry way with his back to me looking at all the pictures on the mantle. I didn't quite recognized who it was so I stopped and the stair beneath me creaked. I stepped back up one step and he turned around. The basket dropped from my hands tumbling down the stairs, all the towels spilling out. It was Edward.

"Hi Bella," he said grinning widely. He bent down to pick up the basket. I sped down the stairs to pick up all the towels, knowing his handkerchief was in there. I couldn't let him see that again, the first time was bad enough. I scrambled to pick up all the towels and I grabbed the basket from his hands and threw them in.

"What….what are you doing here?" I said a little irritated arranging the towels back into the basket. I hadn't even heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey you," Alice said turning the corner, Charlie following right behind her. "I came to check on you to see how you were doing." She looked down at my sweats which I had apparently forgotten I was wearing and glared in disgust. I shut up eyes in embarrassment still holding the basket. She giggled. Emmett rounded the corner a piece of bread in his hand, and apparently his mouth. He waved at me and smiled. At least he was enjoying my dinner.

"Hey Bella," he said his mouth full. I smiled at him. He was always eating, I thought to myself.

"Hi Emmett. Enjoying dinner, I hope." I said and everyone laughed. He nodded in agreement and took another bite.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting laundry time, I just wanted to make sure nothing was seriously wrong with you." I rolled my eyes at her. She was so protective over me.

"No, Alice, I am fine, I promise." She frowned at me. "I appreciate you coming over here though, you really didn't have to do that. You could have just called." Charlie came and put his arm around me and smiled at Alice. He always did love Alice.

"See now Bella. Alice is such a good friend, looking after you and all. So Alice, who are these two young men you have brought with you, who is apparently enjoying my dinner." he said laughing at Emmett who was chewing on his second piece of bread.

"These are my cousins, Edward," she said motioning to Edward who nodded at Charlie "and the pig eating your dinner is Emmett," she said jabbing Emmett in the stomach with her elbow. He cringed and almost dropped the bread. He recovered quickly and mumbled something which I assumed to be hello.

"Anyways, we better get going. Mom and Dad sent us out for groceries over 2 hours ago. They might start wondering what happened to us. I will see you at school tomorrow, Bella," she said hugging me tightly.

Charlie waved goodbye and walked back into the living room and I opened the door to let them out. I closed the door behind them and stood up against it for a minute. This is one of those times that I really wish I had my mom around. I went to put the laundry in and went back up to my room to finish some homework.

I sat in my chair for an hour just staring at the screen, the words escaping me. I kept thinking of my mother and how I wished things could be different. The nighttime always brought on these memories. I wish I could stay awake forever. I figured I would just go to bed, seeing as trying to concentrate wasn't working. I laid in bed and looked up at the pale moon. I distracted myself with fantasies of that beautiful boy and finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke suddenly, the room still dark. I turned to look at the clock. 1:37 am. I laid on my side and shut my eyes and sighed. I felt a tear escape my eye and roll down my cheek onto my pillow. I had dreamed of her again. This time we were in a meadow, a large beautiful meadow surround by tons of big pine trees and pink, yellow and orange flowers. I rolled over onto my back, wiped the tear from my cheek and stared at the ceiling. The moonlight outside was throwing shadows onto my ceiling and I followed them for awhile. I got up and walked into the bathroom to throw water on my face. I looked in the mirror and saw that the swelling had lessened slightly but I'd still have to wear a hat tomorrow.

I went to my window gazing up at the moon. It was such a clear night out so I decided that it would be the perfect time to go outside and look up at the stars. I grabbed a blanket and went into the backyard and sat at the picnic table. I wrapped myself in the blanket and stared up at the stars, wondering if my mom was watching over me. I sighed. I pinpointed a couple of the constellations I had learned in elementary school and I began feeling drowsy and cold so I traipsed back through the house quietly and back up to my room, the creaky steps giving away my presence. I shivered as I got into bed, curling up underneath the comforter trying to get warm. The warmer I got, the heavier my lids became and the next thing I knew I was dreaming.

The alarm blared it's familiar annoying noise and I quickly rolled over to turn it off. I knocked it around a couple times but it still blared so I opened my eyes, trying to concentrate on the blurry blob in front of me. My vision cleared and I hit it dead on and the noise ceased. Finally.

I stumbled to the bathroom with my eyes closed and washed my face. I opened my eyes in anticipation of the amazingly large bump on my head, but it was gone. Where in the hell did the bump go? It had only been a couple of hours since I looked at it and it was visible when I looked. I just decided God was finally looking down on me and took it as an omen for the outcome for rest of the day.

I decided to shower and went to my room to get dressed, looking out my window before I went into my closet. It was sunny outside again. That was strange, very unusual weather. I shrugged and threw my head into my closet to find something suitable. It might be a fluke so I decided I would still be prepared. I grabbed a pair of old faded jeans and my worn Nirvana t-shirt and threw on a black sweat jacket just in case the weather decided to change.

I ran down the stairs and noticed that Charlie's jacket and gun were already gone. He must have left really early this morning. He kept leaving earlier and earlier. I was used to it though, after all he has been gone for most of my life. I was hungrier than normal today so I decided to eat some cereal while I waited for Jessica. I ate slowly waiting for her normal impatient pounding but it never came. I decided to call her. I called her cell phone but no answer. It was getting late and I figured she must be staying home today so I headed to school without her.

I parked in my usual spot at school and saw Alice, Edward, and Emmett standing together at the rear of the jeep. I yelled at Alice and she turned and smiled at me, waving me over. I grabbed my book bag and walked over to the jeep and everyone's eyes immediately went to my head. I sighed.

"Bella! Your bump, it has like…disappeared!" she said grabbing my head and inspecting it. "It looks so good. Wow, you heal fast." She released my head and I rolled my eyes at her. I reached up to touch my forehead. It was still a little sore, but at least it wasn't so noticeable. I could walk around campus without everyone gawking at me.

We hung out in the parking lot for awhile like everyone else did. It was unusual for me but it was something I could deal with. Alice did most of the talking, talking about the party and the decorations and what food she wanted to have. I glanced around and I thought I saw Jessica standing at the other end of the parking lot with a bunch of people. No, that couldn't be her, she would have come over this morning for a ride like she always did. I continued listening to Alice, when the bell rang loudly. I really didn't want to go because I hated gym. The teacher always had such high expectations of me. I wonder if he really ever paid attention to me and my coordination abilities, or shall I say, the lack of ability.

I went to the locker room and changed out quickly so no one would see me. I was what you would call modest when it came to undress around others. I followed the rest of the girls into the gym, we sat on the bleachers and waited for Mr. Jorgenson to arrive. I noticed a new student in our class. I kept trying to look at her face but there we tons of girls surrounding her.

Finally, the teacher showed up carrying behind him a cart full of rackets and birdies. Badminton. Well at least you can't really get too hurt playing that, but I am sure I could find a way. Mr. Jorgenson split us up into teams and I was paired up with this quiet girl named Angela Weber. We had our next class together, but we never really talked. She was nice enough but I don't think she had anymore prowess with sports than I did. What a team we made. We ended up paired with the new girl and a girl I recognized from my English class, but I couldn't remember her name.

The new girl turned and I immediately knew who it was even though I had never been directly in her presence. Before me stood the infamous Rosalie Hale. She was as beautiful as the rumors had said, not that I participated in them but I couldn't help but overhear the guys around school talking about her like she was some goddess. I don't think she was a goddess but she was damn near as close as they come.

She walked to the court with her long blonde hair flowing behind her likes rays of sunshine. It was absolutely perfect, not a hair out of place. She was dressed in the usual gym attire but she made it look better than anyone I had ever seen. I couldn't help but stare at her. Her face was so amazingly beautiful it hardly required make up, her skin was like porcelain, absolutely smooth and flawless, and her eyes were the color of the sky surround by tons of long dark lashes. I wish I had such beautiful features, but instead I was just as plain as a white t shirt.

She stood next to a pretty brunette and they giggled to each other before turning to us. Rosalie look me up and down and I suddenly felt embarrassed for being so plain. I bet she was thinking the same thing I was, how absolutely disgustingly ordinary I was and how absolutely perfect she was. She walked over to me and held out her hand to me and introduced herself.

"Hi, my name is Rosalie." She said taking my hand and shaking it lightly. "You are Bella Swan, right?" I was a little surprised. How did she know who I was? We didn't hang out in the same social group, She had only been in Forks for a year and was already class president and head cheerleader. I knew the school wasn't very big but still I had never actually met her. I smiled and nodded slowly.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," she said backing away to her side of the court. "Let's play."

I resumed my position on my side of the court with Angela. Rosalie served the birdie and it sailed over the net towards Angela who hit it and it landed on the net. Rosalie high-fived her partner.

We continued playing for the rest of the time, of course Angela and I lost. We all walked back to the locker room and got dressed. I walked out of the gym and saw Angela walking alone down the hall and I realized we were going to the same place.

"Hey Angela," I yelled after her. She turned around and smiled at me. "Wait up!" I ran after her and fell into step with her.

"Hey Bella," she said adjusting her glasses on her face. "What a game, huh?" she said sarcastically and I laughed as we walked off to class.

--------

I walked to the cafeteria again in search of Alice who was sitting at the same table as the day before, Emmett sitting next to her. I looked around for Edward but I didn't see him. I sat down at the table and pulled out an apple I had thrown in my bag earlier that morning. Alice smiled at me but continued talking to Emmett about the party again. I rolled my eyes and chewed my apple absentmindedly. I wondered where Edward was but I was too embarrassed to bring it up. I looked around the room, looking for him but instead I saw someone that I hadn't expected to see. Jessica was sitting at a table with Mike Newton and Lauren Mallory. She saw me staring at her in astonishment and she leaned in closer to Mike and leaned her head on his shoulder. It was her I had seen this morning.

I waited around all of lunch waiting to see if Edward would show up, but he never did. The lunch bell rang and Alice and I walked off to our classes as she babbled off the list of people she had invited.

"So I ran into Rosalie today and she asked me about my party. I thought that was odd because we have never really gotten along that well but I invited her. She said she would definitely come, and she said she would tell Jasper as well." She sighed. "Jasper is so cute, I hope he decides to come. You know that Edward and Emmett grew up with Rosalie and Jasper? Rosalie's father used to work for my aunt back in Chicago doing real estate developing." I raised my eyebrow and stored that tidbit away for later contemplation. She waved goodbye and walked into her class.

I walked into calculus and the class was still pretty empty and I took my normal spot and waited for Jessica to come in so I can ask her what happened this morning. Jessica walked in and looked at me, huffed, and walked to the other side the room and took a seat near the window. I furrowed my brow, what in the hell was she doing? I got up and walked over to the Jessica and took the empty seat next to her.

"Hey Jess, where were you this morning? I waited for you and called you but…."

"Look Bella, I don't think we should be friends, ok? I can see that you and Alice are best friends and I really can't compete with her. You apparently care more about your friendship with her than you do with me. Her party is more important than spending time with me." She started back at me blankly. I was shocked and speechless.

"Jess, I just really don't know what to say. I….I…. I am sorry that I ever made you feel that way. I wasn't going to go to…" I started.

"Bella, seriously, I don't need an excuse, ok? I can see the truth. I am not mad really, just……I think its best for us." I stared at her in shock and my face grew hot and my eyes started burning. I got up slowly and started to walk back to my seat, but a tear rolled down my cheek. I had to get out of there. I walked out the door to class and down the hall and out the door to the parking lot.

I started running as fast as I could manage to my truck. My foot hit the curb and I fell through the air, my bag spilling its contents. I tried to brace myself with my hands and they hit the asphalt, grinding pieces into the soft flesh of my wrists. I laid motionless for a moment and I brought myself onto my hands and knees and began to cry. I picked myself up off the ground and bent down to pick up my books that lay five feet away. I wiped my cheeks, trying to dry my face when I saw my wrists. They were bleeding generously and I held them out in front of me staring at them. I cried even harder.

I heaved my bag onto my shoulder, suddenly tired and I walked to my truck still crying. I unlocked the door and slid in and threw my bag onto the seat next to me, stuff spilling onto the floor.. I had to clean off my hands before I went home. I opened the glove compartment and pulled out some napkins I had shoved in there for emergency purposes. I lightly dabbed the napkins onto my wrists, soaking up the blood. I held the napkins to my wrist and leaned my head back against the headrest. I felt sick from the smell of blood, I had to get home and clean my hands up.

I grabbed my bag and started pulling the things back into my bag and pulled it back onto the seat next to me. I pulled my keys out and turned the key and again the truck didn't start. I laughed loudly. Of course this was happening to me. I slammed my foot into the floor. Damn it! You piece of shit truck!

I tried to start the truck again and finally it sputtered and started. I wrapped the napkins around my wrists tightly trying to stop the bleeding. I backed out of the spot and I saw Emmett's muddy jeep parked at the end of the parking lot. It had moved from this morning. I wonder if Edward had anything to do with that since I hadn't seen him at lunch. Maybe I could get it out of Alice tomorrow where Edward had mysteriously vanished to. The pain in my wrists throbbed, causing me to think of nothing else and I pulled out of the school parking lot and headed home, tears streaming down my cheeks.


	4. Creep

**I do not own the characters, they belong to SM :)**

**Chapter 4**

**Bella**

I had gotten home before Charlie that afternoon and stayed in my room, dressing my wounds so he wouldn't get on my case about nobody letting him know what was going on. Charlie didn't get home until nearly 10 that night which was unusual for him, but I didn't complain because it let me have time to myself without him asking me tons of questions.

I fell asleep easily that night, perhaps it was the crying that had worn me out but I wasn't exactly sure. I was upset about what Jessica had said to me in calculus today, she always threatened me with things but she was never as hurtful as she had been today. Forget it, I said to myself. If she wants to be a child and throw a fit over a party, let her. I was too tired of letting people guilt trip me.

I got dressed the next morning quickly and ran down stairs to see Charlie before he left for work, but he was already gone. I wrote him a note about staying at Alice's tonight, carefully leaving out the part about the party. I sighed my name and hung it on the fridge with one of the magnets so he would see it when he got home. He trusted Alice enough so i knew I could get away with this and I headed off to school.

School went by rather fast, I met up with Alice and Emmett again in the morning, but this time there was no Edward. I didn't want to seem suspicious so I didn't bother asking. Alice talked so much I thought she would let go a small detail regarding his whereabouts. The day came and went and Alice never reveal any such details and Edward's disappearance.

I got home before Charlie again, who didn't arrive home until nearly 8 pm. I had already made dinner and left it in the microwave with a note for him. He went straight to his room without even checking on me. I was starting to get a little suspicious of Charlie's activities but I decided not to question them because at least he wasn't bothering me.

The next morning I didn't expect to see Edward, but he was standing up against the back of the jeep with his hands in his pockets, talking to Alice and Emmett. I approached slowly, running scenarios over and over in my head of where Edward may have gone. Alice smiled at me and continued talking. She was, as I expected, talking about the party.

"Bella, I think after school we need to go shopping for an outfit and some stuff for the party. I thought I had something for you to wear but, I decided we should get you something else." I rolled my eyes. I couldn't afford Alice's "something else."

"Alice…I really don't have the money for…" I started to explain.

"Bella, I don't recall asking you to bring money," she said bringing her finger to her chin and looking up. "Nope, I surely didn't," she said smiling at me. Edward and Emmett laughed and they walked off to class. Alice grabbed my arm and we walked off to our class together.

After the class was over, she decided that she wanted to ditch the rest of the day. I usually never ditched but I was getting a little excited about tonight, too. I think I was more excited to see Edward outside of school than I was for the party. We ran out to the parking lot and got in my truck before anyone could catch us.

"Bella, can we go to my house first? I have a surprise to show you," she said smirking. Whenever Alice smirked like that it wasn't a good sign. She was being sneaky.

We slowly pulled from the parking lot and drove out to Alice house. Alice's house was on the outskirts of town and down a long dirt road into the hills. The road was long and winding, surrounded by tons of trees and lush greenery. It took me nearly 15 minutes to get to turnoff that lead to her house that sat on the hill. I had shockingly never been to Alice's house, most of the time we just hung out at mine. Maybe because my house was closer.

We drove for another minute and the large white glass house came into view. The house sat back on the hill in the middle of a large clearing. A large gray block building stood to the left of the house which I assumed was the garage. Alice pointed to the building and I followed the tire tracks around to the side of the building and I saw 4 large garage doors.

I parked the truck in front of one of the doors and we both got out. She walked to the door and entered a series of numbers on a keypad that was placed on the frame of the door. The garage door rose slowly, screeching and groaning loudly before it came to rest at the top of the arch. There was nothing in the space except for tools and boxes and tons of mud littering the concrete floor. I assumed this is where Emmett's Jeep was usually parked.

"Come on Bella, I am so excited to show you this." I followed her into the garage and saw large shadows I presumed to be cars. She flipped the lights on and I saw there were 5 cars standing in front of us. Who owns that may cars anyways? She walked past the first 3 to the very back of the garage where sat a bright shiny yellow convertible.

"Dad bought this for me. Isn't it great?" I looked at her puzzled. I didn't know much about cars so I had no idea what I was looking at. She saw the clueless look on my face and laughed. "It's a BMW, Bella. He gave it to me last night. I was so excited." She gave me a sideways glance. "So, how about we take it to Port Angeles?" She smiled at me widely. I was glad I didn't have to drive at least.

She grabbed the keys hanging on the wall and we both got in. She sat in the seat for a minute, running her fingers over the soft black leather interior. She adjusted her mirrors and she started the car. The car idled and she bounced in her seat excitedly. We pulled out of the garage and she pushed a button on her visor and the doors closed. She drove wildly down the road back towards the highway and I grabbed my seat belt and fastened it and gripped the side of the bucket seat firmly.

It took us half the time to get to Port Angeles as it would have taken in my old truck. It was still early in the day, only 11 am, which means we had lots of time to find me a party outfit. I sighed. We shopped around for 2 hours and finally Alice had found the perfect outfit for me, but she wouldn't let me see it and of course she paid for it.

We stopped and had lunch at a small Italian restaurant and continued shopping for a few more things for the party before we headed home. She ended up picking up some special crystal punch bowl and some pre-made party trays that she had ordered earlier in the week. We finally headed home around 4:30 which gave us plenty of time to decorate and for her to get me ready for the party. We got back to the house just in time to see Edward and Emmett walking out of the garage. We pulled into the garage and they ran up to the car. Emmett leaned into my window and looked around and whistled.

"Hey Em, you mind getting your grubby paws off the car?" she said laughing. He pulled his hands off the car quickly and backed away, laughing. We all laughed and Alice and I got out of the car and I looked around at all the cars.

"Alice, why in the hell do you guys have so many cars," I said glancing around the garage at the 4 other cars and all 3 of them laughed.

"Well my dad is quite the connoisseur of cars. He loves them. This is his favorite here," she said running her hand along the trunk of a shiny dark blue 2 door convertible. "It's an Aston Martin. He restored this one himself and he only drives it on special occasions. His every day car is the a black Mercedes which Mom and Dad took to Seattle for a doctor's conference. He has this one here," she said pointing to a white BMW 4 door. "He bought this for Mom for her birthday last year, but she hardly drives it and then he has the Hummer," she said pointing to a large white 4 door SUV." We use that one when we go camping." She smiled sweetly, but there was still one left.

"Well, who's is this?" I said point to a pewter colored older car. Alice looked at Edward who smiled widely.

"That is my baby," Edward said. "It's a '73 Nova. I restored it all by myself." I looked at him confused.

"Well how come you don't drive it?" I said and they all started laughing.

"That's because Edward afraid to let it out of the garage," Emmett said rolling his eyes. I glanced at Edward but he blew Emmett's comment off.

"I haven't driven it yet. I had it shipped to Washington from Chicago. I finished it nearly a year ago but I haven't had the heart to drive it."

"Enough about cars," Alice said grabbing my arm, and reaching in the car to grab the bag my clothes were in ,"We have to get ready for the party. Guys can you grab the stuff out of the backseat for me," she said dragging me out of the garage. "And Emmett, don't eat any of that food you pig!" She yelled over her shoulder.

We walked up the giant concrete steps to the large glass front door and she grabbed in her purse and pulled out a set of keys, unlocking the door and pushing it open with her foot. I heard a beeping noise and she walked over to the alarm panel and pushed in another code and the beeping stopped.

The house was so bright and open. The entry way was painted a bright white with hardwood floors. The walls were covered with black picture frames, Some frames had brightly colored paintings and others had black and white pictures of the family. I noticed a younger Alice in a couple of them along with what I assumed was her parents.

We walked into the living room which was very modern, a black leather couch stood in the middle of the room with a giant white leather ottoman placed in front of it. Two glass side tables stood to either side of the couch which held two crystal lamps. The floor was once again hardwood but in the middle of the room was a large rug with random shapes in black, white and red that the couch sat on. The couch faced a white marble fireplace whose mantle was decorated with a couple vases full of colorful flowers, more pictures, and candles. Above the mantle was a large flat screen television that nearly took up the whole wall. I was a bit overwhelmed being in this house. I stood in the middle of the room and looked around. I had never been in a house so nice before.

She grabbed my hand again impatiently and pulled me towards the stairs. I guess I would have to wait and see the rest of the house later. We went up to the second level and then to my surprise we went up another set of stairs to the third and final level. I hadn't even realized there were 3 floors to this house. We passed a couple doors and finally we stopped in the middle of the hallway and Alice dropped my hand and opened the door.

Alice's room was easily twice the size of my room. The walls were painted a bright pink color, decorated with tons of artwork and pictures. She had a black canopy bed draped with white sheer fabric standing in the middle of the room with a comforter to match the walls. The wall to the right was covered in nothing but mirrors with a set of doors in the middle of the mirrors. I felt a little self conscious just standing there looking at myself staring back at me. The wall to the left had a giant black armoire which held a large television and next to that was a white desk with a black computer chair. Beyond the desk was another small door which I assumed to be the bathroom. The carpet was shaggy and white which looked incredibly soft.

She laid the bag on the bed and walked to the doors that stood to the right and opened them, stepping into another room. What in the hell is that? I heard her call to me and I walked towards the doors and suddenly realized it was her closet. I looked inside and was shocked. Her whole closet was the size of my room. Clothes hung from two levels, lining the entire closet walls, the back of the closet was reserved for shoes, with rows and rows of heels, flats, tennis shoes, any shoe you can think of was on those shelves. In the middle of the room was an island with tons of drawers. On top of the island stood bottles and bottles of perfume and two jewelry boxes. I was officially overwhelmed. She stood near the island and leaned on it and smiled at me.

"What do ya think?" she said smiling smugly at me. I stood speechless. She giggled and walked towards me, turning me around and pushing me out the door. " First you need to start getting ready. Go in there and take a shower and I will get your stuff ready," she said pushing me to the door on the opposite side of the room. She opened the door and pushed me in and closed it behind me.

I looked around her pristine white bathroom. I was afraid to touch anything, I might dirty something. There was a large glass shower which was in the corner of the room. I sat on the toilet and took off my shoes and laid them down near the door and took my clothes off, folded them and laid them on the counter top and got into the glass shower. There was one large shower head directly overhead and I turned the knob slowly and the water began to pour from the spout. The water was so warm as I let it rush over my shoulders and head. I looked down at my wrists which were scabbing up from my accident and was suddenly sad. At least it wasn't too bad, just tiny little scrapes.

I showered quickly, washing my thick hair thoroughly and scrubbing my body clean with her lilac and orange blossom body wash. It smelled absolutely wonderful. I had to get me some of that, except it was probably way more expensive than anything I could afford. I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in the towel and looked out the window. I got closer to the large window that was over the bath tub and looked down and saw Edward and Emmett carrying in what looked like to be stereo equipment from the garage. A sudden knock on the door startled me.

"Come in," I yelled at the door. Alice opened the door and was already dressed. She was wearing a short white dress with a deep cut halter top and white stiletto heels that made her taller than me for the first time ever. Her make up was done very light but she looked perfect. I had never seen Alice look so beautiful, I bet she was doing it in case Jasper decided to show up.

"Bella, we've got to hurry, it's getting late. The guys are doing all the work downstairs," she smiled triumphantly. "It's such a shame I never had any siblings to do this for me when I was younger." She pulled me over to a white stool in front of the vanity and sat me down, back facing the mirror. She pulled out a brush and started to brush out my thick wet hair. She worked on my hair for what felt like forever, brushing, drying, curling, spraying random sweet smelling concoctions onto my head. She nearly burnt my poor head a couple times with the curling iron. After she was through with my hair, she stood back and nodded, apparently pleased at her creation.

She pulled out a large make up bag from the bottom drawer and lightly brushed a fine powder all over my face. I closed my eyes tightly, too afraid to see what she was putting on to me. After only a couple minutes, she stopped. I opened my eyes and she was staring back at me smiling.

"Ok, Bella you need to put your clothes on but you can't see yourself yet." She covered my eyes with her hands and slowly lead me into the closet. She let go of my eyes and I opened them. She held out a lacy black strapless bra and a pair of new lacy black undies to match.

"Alice, I don't know about all this," I said staring at the lingerie.

"Bella, I bought these especially for you tonight. You have to wear them," she said putting the black garments into my hands. I don't think I owned any lace underwear or bras. This was definitely a first. I was nervous to see what she had picked out for me if she was wearing that dress. I had never seen so much of Alice before. She reached behind the door and pulled out a white spaghetti strap dress with a pink ribbon tied at the waist and pink and orange flower pattern embroidered on the bottom of the dress. A orange sweater hung around the dress. The dress was very pretty, and I was pleasantly surprised.

She handed me the dress and winked at me and walked out of the closet and closed it. I sat on a small bench on the other side of the island and looked at the stuff. I guess this wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I quickly got dressed trying not to mess up my hair and I walked out of the closet and did a little spin in front of Alice. Alice giggled hysterically and clapped.

"I am a genius, yes, I am," she said to herself. "Oh, I almost forgot. You need shoes." She ran into the closet and came back with a pair of white wedge sandals. I put them on carefully, hoping to God I wouldn't fall.

"Ok, now you can look in the mirror," she said turning me to look in the wall of mirrors. My long hair was curled, half was pulled back with a clip, large curls flowing around my face. My make up was very subtle with light pink eye shadow to match the dress, a dash of blush and my lips were glossy and pink. The dress fell to my knees and the orange sweater fit me nicely. Alice was a genius, I had to give it to her. She ran into the closet and back out holding a bottle of perfume and sprayed it vigorously all over me. It was an intoxicating flowery perfume.

She grabbed my hand and lead me down the stairs to the living room quickly, as I gripped the rails so I wouldn't trip in these unfamiliar shoes. The living room was cleared of all the furniture. The living room was covered with tons of twinkling lights hanging from the tall ceiling and a stereo system had been set up against the wall opposite the fireplace. We walked through the living room into the kitchen and the black marble island was covered with trays of food, bowls of chips and dip and some pink drink that was in the crystal punch bowl Alice had just bought, more twinkle lights hung from the vaulted ceiling. The guys must have done this when I was getting ready.

I looked out the glass wall that overlooked the driveway and there were more lights outside in the tall trees. It looked like it went down the driveway. Why hadn't I noticed that before? I guess because they weren't turned on before. The sun was slowly falling behind the tall trees casting shadows throughout the forest. It looked like something in a movie, it was so pretty.

"Where are those damn boys?" she said trying to lift a box full of lights. I looked around the room but I saw no one. I was a little bit nervous to have Edward see me like this.

"EMMETT! EDWARD! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?" she yelled up the stairs. I covered my ears as her voice echoed through the house. I could hear loud footsteps like someone running and one of them yelped. Alice turned on her heel and walked into the kitchen and pulled out some food and continued to set it up onto the counter. She pulled out bottles of alcohol from the cupboard and sat them on the counter next to the plastic red cups.

Emmett came into the room carrying a large plastic container full of ice and bottles of beer. He set it on the island and let out a huge grunt. He looked at both of us and whistled.

"Well don't you girls look nice," he said winking at me and smiled. I felt my face get hot, I knew I was blushing again.

"Emmett, are you going to wear THAT tonight?" she said looking him up and down. His forehead was glistening slightly from sweat, his face was slightly pink from straining himself with the heavy items. He wiped his forehead with his sleeve and looked down at his polo shirt, jeans and flip flops. She walked up behind him and pushed him towards the stairs.

"Oh, Come on Alice!" he whined as he walked up the stairs. "It's just a party!" She glared at him and he stuck his tongue out and ran the rest of the way up the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

She huffed back into the kitchen and finished arranging the cups and napkins on the counter and she leaned her elbows onto the marble, put her chin in her hands and sighed. I looked behind her at the clock on the microwave and it was already 7. People should be getting here soon. I pulled up a barstool, sat down at the counter, and grabbed a chip from the bowl. Alice frowned at me and she stood up and looked out the kitchen windows to the back of the forest. I heard a noise behind me and I turned quickly to see Edward walking into the kitchen from the living room. I think my mouth actually dropped open.

He stopped in the living room and smirked at my reaction. He hung his head and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. He was wearing a short sleeve white, blue and gray plaid button up shirt, gray Dickies pants, and a pair of gray converse. He looked absolutely wonderful. I sat there and stared at him, completely mesmerized. Alice looked at him and smiled widely, apparently please.

He walked into the kitchen and stood next to me and grabbed in the chip bowl and popped a chip into his mouth and chewed loudly. He smelled so good. He glanced at Alice who was giving him a dirty look, a disgusted look. He laughed and took another chip and chewed vigorously. The door bell rang and it made me jump.

"I'll get it," Alice said jumping up from her spot and running to the door. I heard her open the door and a couple of voices, one girl screamed and 3 girls and 2 guys walked into the kitchen and they said hi to Edward who turned around, leaning casually against the island, and smiled. Alice came in and dragged Edward into the living room to mingle with the guests.

I sat at the island as more and more people showed up, shoving chip after chip nervously into my mouth. People filed into the kitchen, grabbing drinks and food, some saying hi to me. Most of the kids I had grown up with and I had known but hardly spoke to and I smiled at them as they came and went. I decided to take a tour of the house on my own and walked out of the kitchen down the hallway which lead to what looked like a den.

I walked into the room which was very large with a large beige sectional couch in the middle of the room, a large tv stood on the opposite wall. Two of the walls were glass overlooking the now dark forest. The room was dim, lit only by a small side lamp near the couch. I stood by the window and gazed up at the stars. Out here away from the city's lights, I could see more constellations than I could while at home.

I walked back down the hallway into the kitchen to grab myself some of the pink drink in the punch bowl. I wasn't sure if it had alcohol in it or not but I decided it didn't matter. I would just end up staying the night here anyways. I took a sip and decided it did have a slight hint of alcohol but nothing I couldn't handle. I stood at the island and drank slowly from my cup when Alice came running into the kitchen with Rosalie and Jasper on either side of her.

"Bella, this is Jasper and Rosalie," she said touching Jasper's arm lightly. She smiled at him. I smiled at them and Alice giggled. "Oh Jasper, I really have to show you my new car," she said pulling his arm and leading him out of the room, leaving Rosalie and I standing in the kitchen alone. Rosalie smiled and picked at some food sitting in front of her.

'So…." I started out nervously. "How are you liking the party?" She gave me half a smile and was about to answer when Emmett ran through the living room into the kitchen and grabbed Rosalie around the waist and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She gave a phony smile and turned to look at Emmett.

"Bella, I didn't know you knew Rose," Emmett said burying his face into her long blonde hair. He breathed in deeply and she smiled and leaned her head into him. I was rather embarrassed and I think I blushed at the sight of the affection between them. "Rose is my beautiful girlfriend.'

"Oh, I….I didn't know that." I said a little shocked and he kissed her cheek again. Wow, he really worked fast. Hadn't he only been here a week? Apparently my questions were written on my face because Rosalie laughed.

"I knew Emmett before I moved to Forks last year from Chicago. When he moved to Forks we just decided to be together." She giggled and kissed Emmett and he growled.

"I think I am going to take a tour of the house if that's ok Emmett," I said and he nodded at me and snuggled into Rosalie's neck and kissed it softly.

"Sure Bella, go anywhere you like," he said pulling Rosalie back into the living room, spinning her around the room.

I walked off again on my own with my drink, this time I went towards the stairs. I reached down and took my shoes off and carried them in my free hand, up the stairs and looked at all the pictures on the wall. Most of them were of Alice when she was younger, a couple of her parents when they were younger and a picture of what looked like Alice and the guys together when they were very small. I continued up the stairs and walked down the long hallway until I reached a half open door. I pushed the door open slightly and walked in and a small desk lamp was lit on the desk.

It was an office, I assumed it was Alice's dad's office. The walls were covered in a dark wood paneling with tons of frames covering the walls. A great big mahogany desk stood in the middle of the room with a large leather chair behind it. Papers and folders littered the large desk along with a couple of pictures frames of Alice and her mother, and one of the three of them on a beach somewhere. The walls were lined with book shelves with what looked like hundreds of books. I scanned the books reading the titles, most of them were medical books and encyclopedias. I looked at the pictures on the wall behind the desk, they weren't pictures at all but degrees. One was from Harvard Medical School, the another was from John Hopkins University. I didn't know her father was so smart.

I walked out of the office and headed up the stairs to Alice's room. I walked down the hallway to her room and was about to go inside when I heard something coming from down the long dark hallway. I moved closer to the door and I could see a sliver of light coming from underneath and I stopped right in front of it and realized it was music.

I put my drink down on the wood floor and I leaned forward and put my ear to the door. I could hear the music coming from behind the door, it sounded like an acoustic guitar. I strained to listen at the music softly seeping out from behind the door. I recognized the tune and began to hum quietly along with it. After a few chords I heard a voice singing the words to the song.

"When you were here before…Couldn't look you in the eye…You're just like an angel….Your skin makes me cry…You float like a feather…. in a beautiful world…I wish I was special…….You're so very special……"

I gripped the door handle and leaned closer into the door to hear the faint singing. The music was beautiful and the voice was something like velvet. I closed my eyes and mouthed along with the words to the song as the voice sang quietly. It was the song Creep by Radiohead and I knew it well.

"But I'm a creep…I'm a weirdo…what the hell am I doing here?…I don't belong here….." I relaxed and suddenly my hand slipped down the door handle and the door flung open. I stumbled with my shoes flying through the air and fell to my hands and knees, my head dangled between my arms as I stared at the lush white carpet. The music immediately stopped and I sat back on my heels and lifted my head and turned to see Edward sitting on a bed, guitar in hand. My face grew hot and I knew I was blushing. I had just fallen into Edward Cullen's bedroom.

**A/N- I had to split it up, it was running kinda long, it continues on the next chapter.**


	5. Dirty Little Secrets

**I don't own the characters, they are owned by SM. So this one is both Bella's POV and Edwards POV. I hope you enjoy getting into Edward's head a little bit here.**

Chapter 5

**Bella**

I stared at Edward for a moment in shock. I was completely mortified. I immediately scrambled to my feet and he laughed and laid the guitar against the bed and he stood up and picked my shoes up off the floor as I stood stiff. He handed them to me and he ran his hand through his hair again, something I noticed he did when he was nervous.

"I…..I….I am …..soooo sorry, Edward. I just……..I was…I am sorry!" I turned to walk out of the bedroom and he grabbed my arm gently and then released me suddenly.

"It's ok, Bella. You really shouldn't apologize nearly as much as you do," he said with a smile. I was about to apologize again but I stopped myself. Bad habit I guess. "It's not a big deal, I was just playing on the guitar."

"Yeah, so I heard. You are really good, Edward. Interesting choice of music, good song though…." I said smiling.

"You know that song?" he said, a little surprise in his voice.

"Sure I know that song, who doesn't?" he looked at me surprised again. "So umm, what are you doing up here all alone? Aren't you supposed to be down at the party?" I said pulling the sweater closed so it wouldn't reveal my chest. I crossed my arms underneath my breasts. I suddenly felt naked.

"Yeah, I umm, I don't really like the whole party thing. That's more Alice and Emmett's thing. I just kind of keep to myself a lot. Not much for crowds," he said putting his hands in his pockets and leaning back on his heels.

I stood for a moment taking in his room. Straight ahead and to the right were two glass walls, the one to the right had French doors that opened out onto a balcony. Up against the glass wall ahead of me was a chocolate leather couch with papers and books scattered along the cushions, next to the couch was a dark wooden side table with a white lamp and an opened can of soda sitting on top of it. A guitar stand stood in the corner of the glass walls beside the side table with sheet music laying in front of it. His dark wooden sleigh bed sat to the left, with a dark blue comforter and big fluffy pillows arrange neatly up at the headboard. Next to the door, was a desk with a computer chair and on the other side of the desk was a doorway, but I wasn't sure where it went, maybe his closet. The wall on the other side of the bed opposite me had a bookshelf that held a rather expensive looking stereo system and tons of cds and books.

"That's a lot of music you have," I said pointing to the shelf. He smiled and nodded and I walked over to the shelf and skimmed some of the titles. He followed behind me and leaned against the footboard of the bed behind me as I looked over his collection. He had a lot of older music, rock, classical, some Indie music, and some newer stuff. I recognized most of them and saw he had 2 cds from my favorite band, which made me smile and I walked slowly back and stood against the door frame.

"I guess I will let you be and get back to the party," I said turning to leave his room.

"You aren't bothering me, Bella.' he said grabbing his guitar from the side of the bed. "You are more than welcome to hang out here."

He went and sat in the open space on the leather couch. He pulled the guitar into his lap and strummed it gently. He looked up at me and smiled, then back down to the guitar and began strumming the song again and singing the words softly. He sang so beautifully and he looked up at me again and I blushed. It felt like he was singing to me. I sat down on the floor with my legs under me and listened to him finish the song. Once he was finished, I clapped and smiled at him and he blushed and turned his head to look out the window into the pitch black forest.

We sat in silence for a moment, listening to the party goers downstairs, there was a lot of laughing and loud music mostly. Oddly enough, the silence between us wasn't weird, it was rather comforting being in his presence. I traced the embroidered pattern on the bottom of the dress and he began playing again. He played a few songs and I listened to him, letting the music carry me away.

"So Bella, tell me about yourself. We never really had a chance to talk now have we?' He said, quietly strumming his guitar.

I told him about Charlie and my mother, Renee and how she had died 2 years ago in August. I told him about Jessica, how she was my best friend and how we had grown up together since we were little. Then I told him how I had met Alice my freshman year and how she had helped me through my mother's death. I told how Charlie was never really around and how we didn't have a great relationship. He listened attentively to me while I spoke, nodding every so often. My story wasn't very long, I left a lot because I didn't want to scare him away.

"So now that I have told you my story, what is your's?" I said a little nervously. He put his guitar back on its stand and he sat down in front of the couch facing me, leaned up against it and stretched his legs out. We were sitting only 3 feet apart.

"Well….my story is sort of a bore really. Emmett and I grew up in Chicago with our parents. My father worked as an attorney for a very prestigious law firm as one of the partners and my mother was a stay at home mom. My father was having an affair with his secretary and he ran off with her, leaving my mother to raise two boys alone with no money, my mother had no job. I was about 7 and Em was 8 when he left. I guess my dad and his secretary went and got married and had a couple of kids of their own but I don't know. I refuse to talk to him. Emmett still talks to him when he calls but I wouldn't. My mother worked two jobs to feed us and to pay rent, and at night she put herself through school so she could get a better job. She eventually finished her law degree and began working for my dad's rival firm. She did the best she could for us, put us in private school bought us nice things, she was the best mother I could ever ask for. That is until Roger came along…." he stopped talking and I thought he wasn't going to go any further. He ran his fingers through his hair and I waited patiently for him to finish the rest of his story.

"Roger worked at the firm with my mother. In fact, he used to be best friends with my father when they were in high school. Roger had always had a thing for my mom but she was so madly in love with my father that he never bothered to try. They started dating and she started spending more and more time with him and less and less time with us. Emmett didn't mind it as much as I did, he would always be playing sports after school so he was never home. Anyways, I started to get into trouble at school, my grades dropped and I got into a couple fights and was nearly expelled. My mother, who now cared so much about status and money, was nearly devastated. How could her son be causing so much trouble?" he rolled his eyes and he hesitated, running his fingers through his hair again.

"So, what happened? What did she do," I said trying not to push him too hard. He looked up at me and furrowed his brow.

"Well…umm….the beginning of my sophomore year I got into a …really…umm well..... a really bad situation and needless to say that was the last straw for my mother. She sent me off to boot camp in Virginia and I was there for nearly 8 months but I ran away and came back to Chicago. I couldn't handle it, I wasn't like those other kids there. I was just going through a tough time. When she found out what had happened, she called Carlisle, Alice's dad,who is my mom's younger brother. He offered to have me come stay with him here and I agreed. We never told Emmett why I had left, he just assumed I was going to school somewhere else and then when we told him that I was going to live with Carlisle, he wanted to come here too. That was only because of Rose but…" he laughed loudly, which nearly scared me, " well we couldn't really tell my mother that he was only coming to be here with her. She figured if Emmett was with me I would stay out of…umm trouble." He paused, and looked down for another minute and I looked at him intensely. What kind of trouble was he talking about? I was now more curious than ever and I was about to ask him when he continued on.

"Emmett had been in love with her since he met her when they was 12. Her father used to work with my mother until they got into a rather large disagreement about something and needless to say, she fired him. Rose's dad got a job offer in Seattle so they moved but Rose's mother didn't like the big cities anymore so they moved to Forks nearly two years ago and then we followed soon after, and well….here we are sitting in my room." I thought about what he had just said and I was confused. Hadn't Rose said earlier that she had moved here last year? I didn't understand that, but maybe Edward has misspoke.

"You mean last year don't you? I mean, about Rosalie moving here?" I said slowly. He raised his head and looked up at me with an odd expression on his face, almost like fear.

"Oh…I…uh…yeah…..I meant last year." he said turning away and looking out the window. We sat for a moment in silence and he changed the subject to school.

We sat talking for what seemed like forever and when I looked out the window I could see a bright light radiating over the tops of the trees. The house below us was rather quiet, no music and no voices except for one. I heard Alice talking loudly in the hallway and then Alice and Jasper appeared at the door, Alice was apparently tipsy and swayed back and forth. Jasper grabbed Alice's arm to steady her. She was leaning against Jasper for support barefoot and giggling. Wow, she must really be drunk if she let herself look like that.

"Eeeddddd…….ward," Alice said giggling. I chuckled and looked at Edward, he was glaring at Alice.

"Alice, what do you think you are doing? You know what happens when you drink too much," he said getting up and crossing the room, grabbing her arm roughly. I had never seen him get upset before. Jasper pulled on her other arm.

"Look here EDWARD," Jasper had said his name with such disgust that I was shocked. "Alice doesn't have to worry about anything happening with me, unlike _someone_ else I know," Jasper hissed at Edward, they both stood glaring at each other face to face, only a foot apart with small Alice sandwiched in between them. I got up and ran in between them and grabbed Alice from their grasp before the fists started flying and sat her on the couch. I knelt in front of her and she giggled, unaware of the danger she had just been in and she flopped over onto the couch.

I stood up and turned toward the Edward and Jasper and I folded my arms, both of them still glaring at each other, fists clenched. You could cut the tension with a knife. I was afraid one of them might launch an assault and that is all I needed, a drunken Alice and two bloodied boys.

"STOP! What is _wrong_ with you two?" I yelled at them. They both turned and looked at me. "Alice is drunk, I am going to put her to bed and Edward, I need your help getting her there. Jasper, thank you for keeping an eye on her." Edward unclenched his fists, stepping back and Jasper's face softened and he nodded and walked out of the room.

I walked over to Alice and sat her up, she snored softly and I laughed. I wrapped my arm around her trying to lift her up, but even her small frame was too much for me. I turned to look at Edward helplessly and he quickly came to my side and picked her up in his arms like a child. Alice looked so small in his arms, I brushed her hair out of her face and walked out of his room towards Alice's room and he followed behind me and I opened the door and let him in. He laid Alice down on the bed softly and he stepped back as I pulled the blanket on the edge of the bed up to cover her. I looked at the clock on the desk and it read 5:30, and I suddenly felt the whole day crashing down on me. I turned to look at Edward who was staring at the floor. I yawned and he looked up at me as I covered my mouth, a little embarrassed.

"I guess we should get to bed," I said heading towards the bathroom. He nodded and walked toward the door and turned around to me and smiled.

"Sweet dreams, Bella," he said walking out the door and closing it quietly behind him. He had no idea how much I wished that would happen, hopefully it would be different tonight. I went to the bathroom and washed my face and climbed into bed next to Alice, who laid snoring softly. I listened to her snore and it relaxed me,, I fell asleep soon after and once again I dreamt of that perfect face belonging to Edward Cullen.

**Edward**

Emmett and I had just finished unloading the stereo equipment into the garage that we had picked up after school when Bella and Alice pulled into the garage. We ran up to the car as they parked and Emmett leaned into the car.

"Hey Em, you mind getting your grubby paws off the car?" Alice laughed and Emmett jumped off the car and backed away and both girls got out. Bella stood up against the car and looked around the garage.

"Alice, why in the hell do you guys have so many cars," Bella said baffled. I guess she wasn't used to luxury, I liked that, she was simple, but in a good way. If anything, I needed some simplicity in my life. Alice went on and gave her the run down of the cars, all except mine which surprised me. I figured she would tell her but she stopped and of course, Bella asked, which made me smile.

"Well, who's is this?" Bella said pointing to my car.

"That is my baby. It's a '73 Nova. I restored it all by myself," I said proudly. I loved every minute of putting this car together. It took me a long time to get it this way. I spent every day in the garage fixing it up once Mom started dating Roger. It kept my mind busy, but unfortunately not busy enough to keep me from getting into trouble.

"Well how come you don't drive it?" she said and we all laughed at her question.

"That's because Edward afraid to let it out of the garage," Emmett said rolling his eyes but I ignored him. It's not that I was afraid to drive it, I had just worked so hard on it that I didn't want to ruin the car like I tended to do to everything else. It made me nervous to even think about driving the car I had spent years fixing. I was a little over protective about it.

"I haven't driven it yet. I had it shipped to Washington from Chicago. I finished it nearly a year ago but I haven't had the heart to drive it," I explained looking at her. Alice said something and grabbed Bella by the arm and marched up towards the house. I watched them walk out of the garage and Emmett elbowed me sharply in the ribs.

"Pay attention, dude. Let's get this stuff in the house before the party starts," he reached into the car and popped the trunk and pulled out bags and I grabbed the large box with a picture of a crystal bowl on it.

We walked up into the house and dropped all the stuff in the kitchen. I pulled the lights out of one of the bags and began to hang them from the ceiling in the kitchen with the ladder Emmett had already brought in. Emmett had finished clearing the living room by the time I had hung the lights in the kitchen so he helped me hang the lights in the living room when Alice ran down the stairs and stopped midway and yelled over to us.

"Guys, I need you to get the stereo in here and set it up, pronto," she ran back up the stairs before we could even object.

We went out to the garage and got the stereo equipment. This was one thing Emmett couldn't lift by himself. I looked up at the large house and saw Bella standing in the large window wearing a towel and I nearly dropped the stereo. She was standing with her back to the window, her long brown hair was draping down her back, and then she disappeared.

I sighed. She really was something special, she wasn't like everyone else around here.

We set the stereo up in the living room, set out the party trays and poured chips into bowls. Emmett made some alcoholic concoction in the crystal bowl. I was tired and sweaty from all the setting up so I decided to go upstairs and let Emmett finish setting up. I got to my room and pulled out my clothes from the closet and set them up and then went to shower.

I dressed and sat on my bed and looked around my room and saw my guitar sitting in the corner on the stand. I picked it up and strummed it but it was slightly out of tune so I sat turning it and then I heard Emmett running up the stairs. I finished tuning it as best I could when I noticed that it was getting dark outside.

I went down stairs and walked into the living room and I stopped when I saw Bella and a small gasp fell from my mouth. She was sitting at the island, her long brown hair was shiny and curly and it flowed down her back. It looked like silk and I wanted so desperately to run my fingers through it.

Bella turned around when she heard me and she stared at me and her mouth fell open. I smirked at her reaction. She looked so beautiful in that dress with her hair all done. She stared at me for a long time and I felt somewhat nervous, and I ran my fingers through my hair and walked into the kitchen and got as close to her as I could. I breathed in her flowery scent, she smelled so good. I grabbed a chip and chewed it with my mouth open because I knew it bothered Alice and she gave me a dirty look and I laughed and did it again.

The doorbell rang and it startled Bella and I laughed to myself. This girl was so funny, she was so easily scared. Alice took off to the door and I stood next to Bella and ate some chips and a couple of kids from school came into the kitchen and greeted me and I smiled politely even though I had no idea who these people were.

Alice came into the kitchen and pulled me into the living room and introduced me to a couple of people from school and I stood there and listened to them talk about some project that was due and then I saw Rosalie and Jasper walk in and Alice immediately ran up to Jasper and began flirting. Rosalie spotted me and walked over towards me. I immediately had a wrenching feeling in my stomach. I wantednto run away. She came up to me and hugged me. I felt the bile rising in my stomach as I slowly put my arm on her back and patted her gently. She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek and held me in her arms.

"Hey Eddie," she said smiling widely. I absolutely hated when she called me that, she made me sound like a 5 year old boy. I faked a half ass smile and tried to think of a way to get her away from me.

"Rose don't you look absolutely beautiful tonight," I said pushing her casually away at arms length and looked her up and down. She blushed profusely but of course she knew she was the prettiest girl around, she didn't need me to tell her. I dropped my hands and stepped back and Jasper came up to Rose and glared at me and pulled her in another direction. I sighed out of relief. I tried my hardest to care about the party and mingling, but I didn't at all. I noticed Emmett had found Rose and was nearly sucking her face clean off in the corner.

Better him than me, I thought to myself. She was bad news and he didn't even know it. I warned him to be careful with her but he didn't listen to me. She had a way of getting what eshe wanted, no matter what the price. She had a bad temper that she didn't let many people see. Most of the time all people saw was a sweet beautiful Rosalie, but I knew better. I had seen what her wrath can do to one's life.

I wanted to go find Bella, I was a little worried about her. She was so shy and so reserved, I would have figured these people would eat her alive. I went to the kitchen where I had seen her last but she was gone. I sighed.

I went upstairs to my room and strummed on my guitar playing some songs I had written, over and over, trying to perfect the melody. I sat on my bed and listened to the loud music coming from below, so I got up and slammed the door shut. Where had she gone? I thought about going to find her but, I figured Alice probably had her in some corner talking her ear off as usual. I thought about her beautiful long hair again and her pretty little face and how her cheeks reddened whenever I caught her staring at me, and how she smelled. She was so different, so unique. I knew she liked me, but that's because she didn't know me. If she knew about me and my life, she would have run a long time ago, I felt so completely and utterly alone.

I imagined over and over again telling her my secret, the one that only a handful of people knew about. Emmett didn't even know about the secret, and neither did Alice. I was afraid to tell anyone, to let them know what had happened. The way they looked at me would have changed, and I didn't want that. I wanted to be the Edward they all wanted me to be, smart, handsome, and going somewhere with his life, on my way to college and then to medical school to follow in the footsteps of Carlisle. To become some great surgeon, and marry some great woman, and have some great life. How could I live up to those expectations? I didn't even know if I wanted to do medical school. I wanted to sing, I wanted to write music, it was what made me happy. Music could always say what the heart felt, but the mouth couldn't, and I certainly couldn't say it.

I immediately thought of the perfect song for my feelings and I strummed the tune on the guitar. I closed my eyes and let the song envelope me completely. I thought of Bella, and how she would react to my secret, how she would run from me if I told her, how she would hate me. She was too good for that, she deserved more.

"When you were here before…Couldn't look you in the eye…..You're just like an angel….Your skin makes me cry…You float like a feather….in a beautiful world…I wish I was special……..You're so very special……" A single tear fell from the corner of my eye, she deserved more than I could give her, I was a creep for what I had done.

"But I'm a creep…I'm a weirdo…what the hell am I doing here?…I don't belong here….." I continued singing when suddenly the door flew open and white blur fell to the floor, shoes flying. I immediately stopped playing and realized it was Bella laying on my floor, eyes facing the floor, her gorgeous curls falling over her beautiful face. I quickly wiped my face clean of any evidence that I had been crying. She leaned back and lifted her head and saw me and her face immediately flushed. She jumped to her feet and I laughed at her almost nearly falling again. This girl was so clumsy, it was kind of cute yet a little annoying. She got hurt a lot, but maybe the doctor thing might come in handy with her. At least I could fix her when she breaks, I laughed at my own jokes.

I leaned the guitar up against the bed and grabbed her shoes which had fallen near the couch and I handed them to her, she stood stiff for a minute just staring at me then grabbed them quickly. She made me nervous when she stared at me and I ran my fingers through my hair again.

"I…..I….I am …..soooo sorry, Edward. I just……..I was…I am sorry!" She started stuttering again, something she also did often. She turned to go and I grabbed her arm and suddenly released it. I had never touched her besides the time I carried her to the nurse's office but she was conscious. I wanted her to stay.

"It's ok, Bella. You really shouldn't apologize nearly as much as you do. It's not a big deal, I was just playing on the guitar," I said smiling at her, hoping it would make her stay.

"Yeah, so I heard. You are really good, Edward. Interesting choice of music, good song though…." she said, shocking me and this time I think I was the one blushing.

"You know that song?" I said surprised she even knew that song, it was kind of old.

"Sure I know that song, who doesn't?" I was absolutely stunned. This girl was amazing. "So umm, what are you doing up here all alone? Aren't you supposed to be down at the party?" she said fidgeting with her sweater and wrapping her arms around herself. I bet she is going to think I am weird when I tell her.

"Yeah, I umm, I don't really like the whole party thing. That's more Alice and Emmett's thing. I just kind of keep to myself a lot. Not much for crowds," I said putting my hands in my pockets and rocking back onto my heels nervously. She made me so nervous when she stared at me like that, like she was judging me.

She never answered but instead she glanced around my room. I hoped I didn't have anything embarrassing laying around, so I did a quick look around my room, nope nothing too bad. She looked over at my stereo and cds and smiled.

"That's a lot of music you have," she said pointing to my shelf and I smiled. I was quite proud of my large music collection. I had it in alphabetic order from band name. She walked over to the shelf and I leaned up against the footboard and scanned the music looking for something that could possibly be embarrassing but I don't think I had any embarrassing bands in there. She smiled which I assumed meant she was pleased and she turned and walked back to the door to leave. Damn it, say something to make her stay.

"I guess I will let you be and get back to the party," she said. So like her to say something like that. She acted like she was such a huge inconvenience to me, if anything I wanted her there.

"You aren't bothering me, Bella.' I said desperately. Hopefully she hadn't heard that in my voice. Stay Bella, Stay, I tried to will her to stay. Maybe if I sang, she will stay. She did say I was good, or maybe she was being polite. I grabbed my guitar from the bed. "You are more than welcome to hang out here." I sat on the couch and began to strum it, looking up at her and smiling, trying to lure her in and hoping my charm was working.

I started playing the same song and sang the words again, the words my heart felt, but what my mouth couldn't speak. I looked at her, hoping she would understand and she blushed and sat down in front of me and listened until I had finished. She clapped softly for a moment and I felt like I was going to cry again, so I turned my head and stared out the window, concentrating on something else until the lump in my throat had faded.

We sat quiet for awhile, and I could hear the people downstairs making asses out of themselves as usual. I looked down at her and I realized how calm she made me, just sitting here with her made me calm. She was playing with her dress and I smiled. She was so sweet and innocent, and I was the complete opposite. I sighed and played a couple more songs and I watched her as she smiled and swayed to the music. She liked it and I liked the fact that she liked it, it made me feel good that I could put a smile on her face.

After a couple songs, I decided to get the courage up to find out more about her. I had already milked Alice of some information, but she didn't give up much. All I knew is she lived with her dad who was a cop and her mom had died a couple years ago. I was intrigued by this girl, I had to know more about her.

"So Bella, tell me about yourself. We never really had a chance to talk now have we?' I strummed my guitar trying to remain casual. She told me her story, which was a short story. I assumed she had edited some things but I didn't mind, she was here and that's all that mattered. When she told me about her mother, I could see it in her face, the pain that she felt. I could tell she missed her. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and hug her and never let her go, I wanted to be close to her.

"So now that I have told you my story, what is your's?" she said staring at me. I got up and put my guitar away and sat on the floor in front of the couch and looked her in the eyes. I was closer to her, but not too close. I didn't want to appear to be creepy.

I wanted to tell her the truth about me, I wanted to spill my guts and tell her my embarrassing story, but I knew I couldn't. I told her about my family and my parents and how I had gotten into trouble. I told the truth about it all, but I left out the details of the secret. I just couldn't tell her. I stopped when I had gotten to Roger. I hated that bastard for taking my mother from Em and I. I hated him for splitting up my family, for putting me in this situation.

"So, what happened? What did she do," she urged. I furrowed my brow and thought about how to continue the story. I wanted to be careful with the amount of information I told her, I couldn't tell her now. It was too early. I proceeded slowly and chose my words carefully before saying them, making sure I didn't lie but at the same time keeping my secret. When I had finished my story I looked up at her for a reaction but she looked puzzled about something.

"You mean last year, I mean, about Rosalie moving here" she said looking at me questioningly. I panicked and my heart raced, I had slipped up. I tried to stay calm and find something to say.

"Oh…I…uh…yeah…..I meant last year," I said and turned my face away, hoping she wouldn't detect the deceit in my eyes. We sat quiet again for awhile and then I tried to change the subject quickly onto school and she took the bait and went with it. Thank God she wasn't pushy.

We talked for a long time, mostly she talked about school, her favorite bands, her favorite colors, hobbies, anything she could think of and I sat and listened to her. I loved listening to her talk, her face so animated. She turned her head and looked out the window and I followed her gazed. The sun was breaking over the trees, chasing all the darkness out of the corners of the forest. That was Bella, Bella was my sunshine, chasing away the darkness out of the corners of my heart. I'd find a way to tell her and she would understand and she would love me anyways.

We sat quiet for a minute and I realized the house was quiet, all but for one voice. Alice was talking loudly in the hallway, but I couldn't understand her. I looked down the hallway to see Jasper and Alice coming down the hallway. Alice was drunk, I could tell. She was staggering from side to side in the doorway and Jasper grabbed her arm so she wouldn't fall over, which I am pretty sure she would if she didn't sit down. Jasper looked pretty sober, thankfully because I didn't want anything to happen.

"Eeeddddd…….ward," she said drunkenly. She started giggling and she looked at me with a goofy grin on her face. This pissed me off, she knew what happened when she drank, I never let her drink. I should have stayed down there and watched her. Damn it.

"Alice, what do you think you are doing? You know what happens when you drink too much," I said. I was going to put her in bed, she needed to go to bed and get away from him. He was probably going to try and take advantage of her. I grabbed her arm trying to get her away from Jasper but he pulled on her other arm.

"Look here EDWARD," Jasper said. The way he said my name pissed me off even more. "Alice doesn't have to worry about anything happening with me, unlike _someone_ else I know," he spat at me. That was the last straw. How could he say that? He was pissed and I could understand, but why did he have to say it in front of them? I glared at him and stepped closer to him holding Alice in between us. I clenched my fist because I was going to punch him right in his damn face. Bella got up and ran towards us and pulled Alice from us, and I let go willingly. She brought Alice to the couch, but I just stared at Jasper. Don't judge me, Jasper, you aren't exactly a perfect angel.

"STOP! What is _wrong_ with you two?" Bella yelled. I was shocked at her sudden outburst and I turned to look at her. "Alice is drunk, I am going to put her to bed and Edward, I need your help getting her there. Jasper, thank you for keeping an eye on her." She was right, this was not the time nor the place. I relaxed and stepped back and looked at Jasper. He had also relaxed and he nodded at her statement and walked out.

I watched as Bella tried to lift Alice, which was absolutely hilarious. Bella was barely bigger than Alice, but Bella wasn't exactly what I would call strong. She turned and looked at me frustrated and I laughed to myself and went to pick Alice up. Bella brushed Alice's hair, like a mother would do to her sleeping child and she walked off to Alice's room. I followed her into Alice's room and I laid her down on her bed and Bella pulled the blanket up around her. Alice looked so innocent and sweet when she slept, which oddly disappeared the moment she woke. Bella yawned loudly and I looked over at her, she had suddenly looked tired and she covered her mouth and blushed.

"I guess we should get to bed," she said, and I knew that was my cue to leave. I nodded and walked towards the door as she walked towards the bathroom.

"Sweet dreams, Bella," I said and walked out the door and closed it behind me. I stood up against the door and looked out the wall of windows, the sun had now risen over the trees, the sun shining brightly into the house. I sighed deeply, what was I getting myself into. I closed my eyes and let the sunshine warm my face and I smiled.

I walked into my room and changed into some pajama pants and got into bed, the sun shining brightly into my room. I laid there for awhile, staring up at the ceiling for a long time before I had fallen asleep, feeling ok and for once not feeling like the awful person I knew I was.


	6. New Additions

**A/N So how did everyone like being in Edward's head? I think I like being in his head, I might write more chapters or partial chapters in his POV.**

**Chapter 6**

**Bella**

I woke up the next morning, my hair matted to my face. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around the room, it was still blurry. I felt around on the bed next to me, but it was empty. I blinked my eyes a couple times and waited for my eyes to adjust before I looked over at the bed. Alice was gone. I rolled over onto my back and closed my eyes. I heard the shower running so I knew Alice was already getting ready. I looked down and noticed I was still wearing the dress from last night.

I sat up and swung my feet over the side of the bed and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like hell. My makeup was smeared all over my face, my mascara was running down my eyes. I groaned quietly and got to my feet and stretched, then suddenly the bathroom door opened up and Alice appeared in the doorway wearing a white towel, her short hair going in every direction. I couldn't help but laugh, she really had a rough night.

"It's not funny, Bella," she said grabbing the front of her head. "It really hurts." She plopped herself down on the bed and sighed heavily. She pulled open her side draw and popped a couple aspirin, and laid back onto the bed. I jumped onto the bed next to her and brushed her hair out of her face.

"I'm sorry, Alice. You just looked so funny, I just couldn't help it." I said, playing with her hair. She reached up and pulled my hair gently and laughed. She sat up and leaned over onto her elbow and looked at me and smiled.

"Come on, lets get you some clean clothes and a shower," She said going into her closet and grabbing a pair of jeans and a tank top and handing them to me. I carried the clothes into the bathroom and ran the shower until the bathroom steamed up. I got into the shower and let the water fall all over me, enveloping me in its warmth. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up and let the water run on my face. The warm water seemed to relax me enough that I nearly fell asleep standing there. I washed my hair with her delicious smelling shampoo and scrubbed my body with her amazing body wash.

I stepped out of the shower and sat on the stool in front of the vanity to look in the mirror, but the mirror was steamed up. I leaned forward and ran a washcloth over the mirror making an opening just big enough for me to look at myself in the mirror. I sat there staring at myself for a minute before I picked up her brush and started to brush out my hair.

I grabbed the clothes and put them on. The tank top was slightly revealing but it was the best I could get for right now. I looked in the mirror one more time and tied my hair back with one of Alice's rubber bands. When I made my way out of the bathroom Alice was already dressed in a black layered cotton skirt and a bright pink tank top, her make up done, her hair was done in her usual spiky do. She smiled at me and headed for the door.

"It's nearly noon, let's get some lunch going," she said walking out the door.

I followed her down stairs and noticed Emmett passed out on the black leather couch up against the wall. He was still dressed in his clothes from last night, his long muscular body was too large for the couch, and was hanging off in all places. His brown-haired head was hanging off the couch, a strange growling noise coming from his throat. He was snoring, I realized and I laughed loudly and covered my mouth quickly. He stirred for a moment, lifting his head back onto the couch and turning his head towards the cushions.

I looked around the living room and was amazed at the mess. There were tons and tons of cans, beer and soda, red plastic cups, napkins and paper plates littering the floor. I stepped cautiously as to not wake him. This was going to be fun cleaning up this mess, but it would have to wait until later.

Alice was already in the kitchen and I could hear her fumbling around in the cupboards. I turned the corner into the kitchen and Edward was already sitting at the island, back toward me, eating out of a bowl. Alice stomped her foot in frustration.

"I can't find anything to eat," She pouted. I giggled and walked into the kitchen, smiled at Edward, and rummaged through the cupboards to find something to make. I pushed Alice out of the way and the two of them sat staring at me, amazed. I stopped and looked back at them.

"What are you two staring at?" I asked. Edward scooped what looked like to be cereal into his mouth and smirked at me.

"Well, Bella, we aren't really what you would like to call culinary artists or anything," Edward said scooping more cereal into his mouth. I furrowed my brow and he finished chewing his food. "We don't really cook much around here, as you can see," he said hitting his spoon up against the glass bowl making a sharp clanking noise. I winced.

"Well, that will have to change for today now won't it," I said smugly pulling the fridge opening and pulling out some stuff. I decided to really wow them and make Chicken Cacciatore. I moved swiftly through the kitchen pulling out the pans and utensils and began preparing the meal. I hadn't noticed but Emmett had joined them and they were all standing side by side watching me work. Emmett's dark brown eyes followed me around the kitchen, watching my every move.

After about an hour, I was finished and they had already left, the amazement of my culinary abilities long gone. I called them into the kitchen and they all ran in from the living room, mouths watering. I laughed at the expressions on their faces. I served up four plates, paying extra attention to give Emmett a bigger portion. Emmett immediately grabbed his plate as soon as I had put it down. We all took our plates to the dining table and I sat down and watched them immediately scoop the hot food into their mouths. I waited for their reactions to see if they liked it.

Emmett continued to shovel food into his mouth, and I wondered if he was even swallowing. Alice ate vigorously, devouring the meal that took me nearly an hour to make, in minutes. I smiled and started to eat slowly, I really wasn't that hungry, but I ate anyways. Emmett was of course the first to finish his food and the first to speak.

"Bella, that was freaking……amazing," he said burping loudly and Alice looked at him disgustingly. Edward laughed and I just smiled.

"Yes, Bella, you definitely do have a slight talent in the culinary arts don't you?" Edward said winking at me. Did he really just wink at me? I suddenly felt giddy and I looked down at my plate to hide the smile that might creep onto my face at any moment and give away my thoughts.

After lunch, it was nearly 4 and it was time to clean up the house. We spent hours clearing the house of all the evidence of the party from the previous night. Emmett carried nearly 3 bags of cans out to the garage to dispose of later on and Edward carried 2 bags of trash out to the trash cans. Alice and I tried to move the furniture back into place but the couch was too heavy, even for the both of us, so when Edward and Emmett came back into the room and saw us huffing and puffing they both erupted in laughter. Alice glared at both of them, and they shoved both of us out of the way and moved it easily back into place.

It was getting late and I figured I better get home before Charlie put out a APB out for me. I went upstairs and gathered my clothes in Alice's room when I heard someone come up to the door. I turned around and Edward was leaning in the doorway, one arm over his head. He smiled and I once again was immediately giddy.

"What are ya doing?" he said casually. I held my clothes out to him and put them into my bag.

"I am just packing my stuff up. It's getting kind of late and I know Charlie is probably wondering where I am." I smiled.

"Well, let me walk you out to your truck," he said moving to the side as I walked toward him. I was kind of shocked.

"Sssuuure," I stuttered slightly and smiled. He followed me down the stairs to the first floor where Alice was laying on the couch. She sat up quickly when she saw me with my bag.

"You leaving already?" She said getting to her feet.

"You know how Charlie is, he is probably going to send out a search party for me," I said rolling my eyes and she laughed.

"You are so right, you want me to walk you out?" She said walking towards me.

"I got it, Alice," Edward said grabbing my bag out of my hand and putting his hand on my back, pushing me towards the door. He was touching me again, I sighed. She nodded and went and laid back on the couch.

"BYE BELLA," Emmett and Alice both yelled as the door closed behind us.

"Thanks for letting me hang out with you last night," I said as we walked to the garage.

"It was no problem, I told you last night. I enjoyed the company actually," he said running his fingers through his hair. He opened the door for me and I hopped into the truck and he handed me my bag. I laid it on the seat next to me and he closed my door behind me and leaned into the open window.

"You should come hang out more often," he said smiling his beautiful smile, his green eyes sparkling. I felt lightheaded, and my heart fluttered lightly in my chest, how he managed to do that I would never know. I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say so I just smiled at him, he smiled back and I started the truck. He pushed back off the truck and I waved at him as I back out of the driveway and headed home.

I drove home in silence, a little worried what Charlie was going to say to me once I got there. I pulled into the driveway and his car was there. I gathered my bag and took a deep breath, and opened the door and closed it quietly. I slowly made my way up the steps and opened the door, closing it behind me.

"Bella? Bella is that you?" Charlie's voice came from the living room. I made my way to the living room and he was sitting on the couch watching a game. I walked up behind him and leaned down and kissed his cheek hoping that little show of affection softened him.

"Hey Dad," I said walking into the kitchen, it was a mess. Pots and pans in the sink were burnt nearly black. What in the hell was he trying to do? How would this man survive without me? I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room.

"Dad, what did you do to the poor kitchen?" I said standing in from the tv with my hand on my hips. He looked at me stunned.

"I uhh, I tried to make uhh dinner," he said stunned. "I will clean it up, don't worry Bells." he said trying to reassure me.

"I leave for one day and you nearly burn down the house," I said and he laughed. I huffed off up the stairs into my room. It was a mess. I don't remember leaving it in such disarray. I picked up my room an formed a pile of dirty laundry near the door when I heard a knock on the door.

"Bella?" It was Charlie of course. "Bella, can I come in?" I yelled come in and he opened the door, pushing the pile of clothes out of the way. "Sorry about that," he said pointing to the pile of clothes.

I rolled my eyes at him and continued to throw clothes near the pile. He didn't say anything so I looked up at him and he was rubbing the back of his head, looking stressed.

I raised my eyebrows at him and waited but he just stared at me.

"What is it Dad?," I said sitting on my knees looking up at him. He just stood there.

" I…uhh…I just wanted to say goodnight." I looked at him confused.

"Ooookay. Goodnight, Dad," I said and he smiled, turned around and closed the door behind him. He sure was being weird lately. I shrugged and continued on with my laundry.

Alice called me before I went to bed to make sure Charlie wasn't too upset with me. I told her about how he reacted but she just said it was probably because he missed me so much. I didn't think that was it but I decided to let it go. We talked for a couple minutes and then hung up, I had laundry to do.

I went downstairs to do laundry and all was quiet downstairs, I guessed Charlie really did go to bed. I put in a load and decided to go outside for some fresh air. I opened the front door, trying not to make a noise and closed it quietly behind me. I sat on the front steps and looked up at the sky, but it was cloudy, no stars tonight. I sighed.

I sat with elbows on my knees and laid my head in my hands and looked around the dimly lit street and I noticed that Charlie's car was gone. I hadn't heard him leave. I looked around the street again and sat on the stoop and waited, maybe he had gone out for beer or something. I sat outside for nearly 40 minutes and still no Charlie.

It was getting unbearably cold so I had to go inside. I got up and walked into the house, closing the door loudly. Charlie wasn't here so I didn't have to worry about sneaking around. I went back to my room and dressed for bed. I grabbed my laptop and downloaded a couple songs onto my ipod, one being the one Edward had sang last night. I put my ear buds in and put the song on repeat, imagining Edward singing to me once again and I fell asleep.

I woke up suddenly, a noise had woke me from my beautiful dreams. I pulled my ear buds out of my ears and looked around. I went to my door and was about to open it when I heard someone walking around in the hallway, and then a door closed. I turned to look at my clock and it was 2:36 am. He was just getting in. Something was going on and I was going to confront him about it, I just had to figure out a way to do it.

I woke in the morning early so I could talk to Charlie. I dressed and went down stairs, got a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table and waited for him but he never showed, he must have left before I had gotten up.

I cleaned up the kitchen of his dinner gone horribly wrong and decided to run some errands. I went to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for the week about to start. I ran into Angela at the store with her mom and we talked for a bit. I was really starting to like Angela.

By the time I had made it back home it was nearly noon. I pulled into the driveway and got out, holding the bags of groceries and I noticed that Mike Newton and Jessica were standing outside. She was leaning against his car and he was leaning against her, arms pressed on the top of the car. She turned her head laughing and saw me. She scowled at me and turned back to Mike and kissed him. She was absolutely relentless.

I stomped back inside the house and put the bags on the counter and huffed. Why was Jessica being such a jerk? Was she trying to make me jealous? I didn't even like Mike, so why would I care? I took the food out of the bags and slammed the cans into the cupboard. She was really started to wear my patience thin. I couldn't comprehend her latest streak of bitchiness.

I decided I would say something to her. I walked out the front door slamming it and walking across the street and 3 houses down. I clenched my fists and pursed my lips as I pounded down the sidewalk to her house. She immediately saw me coming and Mike had backed away from her and put his hands in his pockets. I glared at her and she looked somewhat scared. That was a first, but good, she deserved this.

"Can I talk to you?" I looked over at Mike and glared, "I mean alone." I folded my arms underneath my chest and waited. Mike seemed to be taken aback by my attitude and he pulled his keys from his pocket and Jessica stepped onto the sidewalk, away from his car.

"I guess I will see you tomorrow, Jess," he said throwing her a sideways glance. "Umm, nice to see you, Bella," he said hesitantly, getting into the car and driving off. Jessica stood five feet from me and mimicked my stance.

"What do you want Bella,?" she spit at me. I narrowed my eyes at her and scoffed.

"First of all, what in the hell is your problem? I don't even know what I did in the first place to deserve this treatment from you. Is this all about the party?" I stared at her and waited for a response. Her face didn't soften.

"No, this is about you and Alice and the new guys and the way you treat me when they are around, like I don't exist or I am a piece of crap." she raised her voice slightly.

"What in the HELL are you talking about," I said confused. What was she going on about? I was so confused by this conversation.

"I know you talk about me when I am not around and you try to make me look stupid in front of all of them." she stomped her foot. Is she throwing a tantrum right here in the front yard. For the love of Jesus, she was.

"Jessica, I have NO freaking idea what you are talking about."

"Oh you know EXACTLY what I am talking about. I know you like Edward. Every time I come around, you always say something to make me look stupid. I see the way you guys look at each other." She was jealous of me? This is why she was being so bitchy? Typical Jessica move to be jealous of someone for having something she didn't have, or what she thought someone else had. I didn't even have anything. Wait, did she just say you guys, as in not just me? Did he look at me the same way? Ugh, focus, Bella, focus.

"Seriously, Jess? Do you like Edward? I had no idea, and I do NOT look at him any way. I thought you liked Mike anyways, I mean why else would he be here?" Her tirade was started to piss me off.

"No I don't like Edward, I like Mike. It doesn't even matter why Mike was here, Bella, because it is none of your business!" Her face was suddenly bright red and I thought the vein in her forehead was going to pop. I stepped back a little scared.

"Jessica, you are making a big deal out of…" I tried to say but she interrupted me before I could finish.

"You can have Edward, after what Mike told me, I don't think I would want someone like that anyways." She turned on her heel and marched off up the stairs of her house and slammed the door shut. I looked around and a couple of the neighborhood kids stopped and were watching. I turned around and walked back home, head hung in defeat. What was she talking about? Someone like what?

I got back into the house and sat at the table and pulled my knees into my chest. I buried my face into my knees and started to cry. I felt like my life was nothing but a bunch of secrets everyone was keeping from me. I felt really tired and I went upstairs and plopped myself onto my soft purple bed and fell asleep.

------

I sat straight up in my bed, sweating and tears streaming down my cheek. Another bad dream. It was dark in my room, I turned and looked at the clock and it read 4:13 am. It was still too early for anything but I had slept nearly 16 hours. I grabbed my towel and went to the bathroom to shower. I ran the shower to where it was almost unbearable and I stepped in. The water beat down onto my back, massaging my tight muscles.

I wanted to forget all about Jessica and what she had said yesterday. I just wanted to wash all my worries away with the hot water. I wished I had Alice's shampoo and body wash, mine just wasn't as good now. I shaved my legs, taking my time, not wanting to get out. Finally I just sat in the tub and let the way run all over me until it turned cold. I got out and wrapped myself in my towel and tiptoed back to my room and collapsed on my bed and turned and looked at the clock, it was only 4:45. Ugh.

I decided to clean my room which was cluttered with clothes and books and papers. I was cleaning what felt like forever when the room started to lighten. I turned and looked at the clock and it was nearly 7. I looked around at my now clean room and was happy. I pulled off my purple comforter and sheets to wash them and threw them near the door. I picked up the bedding and carried it downstairs and saw Charlie sitting at the table sipping coffee. I ran the washer and threw the sheets in and closed the lid and went and plopped myself on the couch and turned on the tv.

"Bella, what are you doing up so early during Spring Break? Shouldn't you be sleeping in until god knows when?" He said walking into the living room and standing behind me.

"Yeah, well I kind of fell asleep really early last night." I said. Why hadn't he noticed that? Was he not here last night?

"Oh yeah….I forgot about that," he said. I don't believe him.

"Were you not here last night, Dad?" I said turning my head and looked up at him. He looked around the room nervously and sipped his coffee.

"I had to work late last night, Bells," he said looking down at me and patting me on the head. "I am going over to Billy's for awhile, you want to go with and maybe hang out with Jacob?" I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Why would I want to do that?

"Oh umm…no but thanks. I think I am just going to hang out around here and work on an English paper I have to do." He looked at me with skepticism.

"Alright well, if you need me I will be down there. I will see you later." he said leaning down and kissed my cheek. He grabbed his coat hanging from the peg by the door and left out the front door.

I sat on the couch for awhile and watched tv, just channel surfing, and I found "Gone with the Wind" on AMC and decided to watch it. My stomach rumbled loudly and I ran to the kitchen to grab a bagel and jumped back on the couch before I missed anything. I cried as usual whenever I watched this movies. My mother and I always used to watch it together, it was her favorite movie.

By the time the movie was over it was nearly 10:30. I went upstairs and grabbed my laptop and began writing my English paper. 4 ½ pages and an two hours later, I had finished the paper and printed it out and , I slipped it into my binder. I was proud of myself for having gotten that out of the way. The phone downstairs rang loudly and I ran down the stairs quickly, nearly falling, and picked it up on the 5th ring. It was Alice.

"Bella! Bella Oh my gosh, I have some news to tell you, Guess what?" she said quickly.

"Slow down, Alice. Ummm….your parents found out about the party and grounded you?" I said giggling.

"Not funny, Bella. No it's something way better. My parents adopted a baby and brought her home. She is sooooo cute!" she squealed.

"What? They didn't tell you before? Why did they adopt a baby?" I questioned.

'Well, I guess they had been trying to adopt a baby for a couple months now and they finally were granted custody so they went to Seattle to pick her up and sign the papers. They didn't tell me because they didn't want me to get my hopes up but oh wow! I am so excited!" she nearly screamed.

"That's pretty awesome, Alice. Now you have someone else you can boss around," I said rolling my eyes and laughing. I kind of wished I had a sibling.

"You have to come over to see her. Come over right now," she said and then a dial tone. Well, I guess that wasn't a question, I guess I was going to Alice's. It wasn't like I minded or anything considering Edward lived there.

I ran upstairs and decided I'd try to look pretty today. I got in my box of old stuff my mom had given me and pulled out a curling iron, went to the bathroom and plugged it in. I got in my closet and pulled out a light purple spaghetti strap baby doll shirt and a dark pair of jeans. I got dressed quickly and went into the bathroom and curled my hair. It took me a long time and it didn't look like what Alice had done but it would do. I pulled a small black zipper bag from the drawer and dumped the contents out onto the counter. I began applying make up lightly on my face. I tried to do it just like Alice had done, but I didn't really pay much attention.

It took me a little over an hour to get ready which it has never taken me that long in my life to get ready. I looked myself over in the mirror, once, twice, and decided this was as good as it was going to get. I ran down the stairs and pulled open the closet and yanked out a pair of white sandals and slipped them on. I looked out the window and noticed it was raining. I grabbed my black sweater and raincoat off the peg near the door and picked up my bag and ran out the door to the truck.

I unlocked the truck doors and hopped into the truck, sighing in relief. The rain pelted down onto the roof of the truck loudly, so loud I thought it might dent the truck. Not like it really mattered anyways considering how beat up this old truck was. I started the truck and pulled out of the driveway slowly and headed towards Alice's house.

I drove slower than normal considering the weather conditions, the roads were rather slick with the rain that looked like had been going for hours now. The streets were nearly flooded and the road that lead to Alice's house was muddy. I pulled up to the house in the same spot as before and got out, tiptoeing to the door and rang the bell. I saw Alice running to the door and opening it nearly knocking me down the stairs. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house where she nearly knocked me over trying to pull my jacket off.

"Alice, slow down!" I said stumbling backwards. She was bouncing slightly in place and I heard someone cooing in the living room.

We walked into the living room and there sat a woman, which I assumed to be Alice's mother and a man, which I assumed to be her father, kneeling in front of something on the couch with their backs towards us. Her mother turned to face us and she was beautiful, just like Alice. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes and she was wearing a white pencil skirt that went down to her knees and a pretty blue sleeveless blouse. She smiled at me and it made me miss my mother. Her father turned next to look at us, his blonde hair cut short onto his head and parted to the side, his bright blue eyes sparkled at us when he smiled. He stood up and straightened his gray sweater and dusted off his khaki pants. He walked over to me and stuck out his hand.

"So you must be Bella," he said shaking my hand gently. "It's very nice to meet you. I am Carlisle. We have heard so much about you." I think I blushed. He pointed to the woman kneeling on the floor. " This is my wife, Esme." Esme smiled at me and turned back to the couch. She lifted a baby into her arms who giggled.

"Bella, this is Emmilie," Alice said taking the baby from her mother and walking back over to me. The baby was a plump baby with bright blue eyes and copper brown hair. Her cheeks were a rosy pink and she had two little top teeth. She was dressed in a sleeveless flower patterned dress and she had cute little white mary jane shoes on with little ruffled white socks. She was absolutely adorable. She stuck her hand out to touch my face and she put her small hand on my cheek.

Alice handed me Emmilie and I held her in my arms and she hugged my neck tightly. She was absolutely sweet. Alice giggled and Esme awed at us. She drooled slightly and shoved her fingers into her mouth. Alice grabbed Emilie back from me and took her over to Esme.

"The boys don't know yet about Emmilie. They went camping yesterday and they should be back later tonight. Dad brought pizza if you are hungry," she pulled me into the kitchen and we sat at the table.

Carlisle and Esme brought Emmilie into the kitchen and sat her down in a high chair and poured some cheerios in front of her and she gurgled happily. We sat at the table and we all talked while eating pizza from town and laughing at Emmilie who sat in her highchair tossing cereal all over the floor.

The front door opened and a huge thud hit the ground and I saw Emmett round the corner carrying a backpack on one of his shoulders and a duffle bag in his hand. His eyes darted to the baby and he immediately smiled and walked over to her.

"Who is this?" he said scratching the baby's chin. He cooed at her and she giggled and threw cheerios at him. We all laughed.

"This is Emmilie. We have decided we are adopting her," Carlisle said in a matter of fact tone.

"Sweet, I have a little cousin," he said staring at the pizza and immediately throwing down his bags and seating himself next to Carlisle. He grabbed 2 slices at once and put them into his mouth chewing vigorously.

I looked up and saw Edward standing in the living room with two bags in his hand, staring at the baby with an odd expression on his face. He was standing rigidly, silent, his jaw taught and his lips pursed. He dropped his bags with a loud thud and walked into the kitchen and stood in front of the baby.

"Who…….who is this?" he said turning to Esme. Esme gave him a distressed look. He stared into her brown eyes intensely.

"Ed….Edward this is Emmilie," she said picking up the baby and standing in front of Edward. Emmilie grabbed for him and he stepped back and he stared at her and then looked at Esme, his eyes pleading. The baby gurgled and grabbed for Edward again, but Edward turned on his heel, picked up his bag and went upstairs without a word.

"What's his problem?" Alice asked looking at Emmett who was nearly on his fourth piece of pizza. He was so interested in his food he hadn't heard Alice's question so she wadded up a napkin and threw it at him, hitting him in the head and falling to the table in front of him.

"Huh? What?" Emmett said continued to shove pizza into his mouth.

"What….is….wrong…..with….Edward!" Alice asked again slowly.

"Who knows," Emmett replied. "He's been really weird all day. Maybe he doesn't like kids." he shrugged.

Esme turned around and smiled at us and placed Emmilie back in the high chair and asked Emmett about the trip. Emmett told us about how they had gotten up to the campsite and it poured all night and the tent had a leak in it and it had dripped on Edward nearly all night. It was no wonder Edward was in a bad mood. Esme brought out a delicious chocolate cream pie from the fridge and we all sat eating it.

I looked up at the ceiling and wondered if I would see him before I left. We ate the pie and Alice and I went into the living room with the baby and played with her for awhile. It started to get dark outside so I figured I should head out. I thanked Esme and Carlisle for dinner and grabbed my coat, no longer needing it as the clouds had past and it was a clear night. I slowly trudged to my truck and noticed a small light coming from the thick forest near the garage, maybe 50 yards in. There was no one out here for miles, what was that?

I threw my things into the truck and walked towards the light, tripping over branches and fallen limbs, nearly falling on my face. I got closer to the light and noticed it was a clearing the light was coming from and I saw a lantern standing on an old stump and a dark figure sitting on a fallen tree with their head in their hands. I walked slowly trying to get a better look at who it was. I tripped on a stump and landed face first into the clearing near the fallen log. The dark figure rose and stood in front of me.

"Bella?" a familiar voice questioned. A hand dropped in front of my face and I took it and looked up, it was Edward. "Bella, what are you doing out here?" He said letting go of my hand as soon as I was stable.

"I saw the light out here and I wasn't sure what it was."

"Don't you know you shouldn't wander off into the forest alone at night?" he said staring down at me, I suddenly felt so little.

"Well, what are you doing out here?" I said accusingly putting my hands on my hips and pursing my lips. I wasn't a child and I didn't need to be treated like one. He turned his head to look at a telescope that was sitting next to the fallen tree, pointing to the sky. I looked up wondering why he was looking up at the trees and realized there was a wide opening in the tops of the trees and you could see the perfect clear sky and all the stars.

"I came out here to look at the stars, I do that sometimes…" he said rubbing the back of his head nervously. Why was he acting so strange lately? I looked over at the telescope and walked over towards the log and sat down.

I sat down in front of the telescope and looked through it. It was so beautiful looking at all the stars up close. He sat down next to me and told me some stories about some of the constellations, some I had already heard, some I hadn't. We sat there in the clearing looking up at the stars for a long time and hardly saying anything. I liked being with him.

I shivered, wrapping my arms around my body. He took his jacket off and draped it around my shoulders and smiled at me. I thought about what Jessica had said yesterday about him and not wanting someone like him. From what I could see, I wanted someone exactly like him and I don't care what anyone says about him. I liked him, and that was all that mattered. We sat next to each other, sharing the telescope occasionally touching hands when exchanging the telescope. I watched him closely as he looking through the telescope, adjusting the knob on the side slowly. I wanted to ask him why he had reacted that way to Emmilie, but I don't want to run him off. I decided to just sit and reveled in my time with Edward looking up at the stars hoping it would never end.

He folded up the telescope and grabbed the small lantern and we walked back to my truck and I gave him back his jacket. He took it and threw it over his shoulder and smiled. I opened the truck door and got in and he grabbed the door and leaned into the truck just a foot from my face.

"I had fun tonight, Bella. Thank you for keeping me company out here," he said looking down and running his hands through his hair. He looked up at me suddenly, his green eyes sparkling in the moonlight. He was absolutely beautiful.

"I did, too," I said so quiet I wasn't even sure he had heard me. I turned my eyes to my lap and fidgeted with my hands nervously. He grabbed my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his. My heart started to pound so hard, I was afraid that it was going to come out of my chest.

He leaned in closer and I instinctively closed my eyes, hoping, waiting for him to kiss me. I felt his warm lips press gently against my cheek and I think I had stopped breathing. He let his lips linger on my cheek for a moment and then pulled away, looking into my eyes. I know I had to be blushing by now, but it was dark so hopefully he hadn't noticed.

He stepped back and closed my door walked off toward the house, and stopped in the middle of the driveway. I fumbled with my keys, trying to find the ignition. The key finally found its place and the truck roared to life. He stopped in the middle of the large dark driveway, watching me as i pulled out onto the road. I watched him in my mirror as he slowly disappeared into the night as I drove on. Goodnight beautiful boy, goodnight.


	7. Star Light, Star Bright

Chapter 7

**Edward**

I walked back into the house with my bags, climbed the stairs quietly to the third floor, and slipped inside my room. I dropped my bag with the telescope in it near the door, walking carefully to the desk and turning on the desk lamp. I changed in the dim light of the desk lamp and looked around my dark room. I sighed. I turned off the desk lamp and climbed into bed, staring up at the ceiling.

I felt the urgency to tell Bella my secret begin to grow from a dull purr to a near deafening roar. It was going to come out, sooner rather than later, especially now since we were getting closer and if she found out, she would hate me. I could not let that happen. My thoughts swept to her face, the way her cheeks reddened when she was embarrassed, and the way her lips curled into that beautiful smile.

I did not like surprises, especially ones like this. Where had they gotten the baby? What made them decide to adopt her and why hadn't anyone tell any of us? I thought about Emmilie's chubby little pink cheeks and I smirked. She was rather cute, how could anyone think otherwise?

I guess it was something that I and everyone else would have to adjust. Having a baby in the house would definitely be work, but as long as I did not have to do it, it would not be too bad. As if right on cue, I heard her cry. I sighed. It was a distant cry, nothing that I could not block out, but it left me feeling rather irritated. I rolled over in the large bed, threw a pillow over my head, and pressed down on my ears. Shut up! I growled loudly under my pillow.

I grabbed for my nightstand, holding the pillow over my head with one hand, blindly reaching, searching for my ipod. My fingers wrapped around the headphones and I yanked quickly pulling it onto the bed, shoving the ear buds into my ears. I turned the volume up, rolled over onto my back, and closed my eyes, listening to the music, drowning out my current problem, the small chubby cheeked child crying only 8 feet below me.

--------

The week was nearly gone without much of anything interesting happening. The past couple of days the baby took precedence over everything in our lives. I could not take it anymore. It was Thursday and I still had not seen Bella in almost 3 days. I wanted to see her, to forget that damn crying baby, at least for one day.

I ran down the stairs, nearly knocking Esme and the baby over who was slowly climbing the first set of stairs, and bolted out the door to my car. I saw Emmett in the garage under the hood of his jeep. He looked up at me and gave me a quizzical look. I waved him over to my car and look of shock crossed over his face. I grabbed the keys on the peg and opened the car door, Emmett still standing near his jeep.

"Come on Em, are you going to come with me or not?" I said closing my door. I was ready for this. He grabbed the door handle hesitantly, yanked it open, and jumped in the passenger seat.

"Edward, what is up for you, Bro? You have been acting funny all week," he said grabbing my shoulder and shaking it roughly. I put the key in the ignition and his grip tightened and I looked up at him.

"Hey Em, you mind loosening up a bit?" I said shrugging off his hand.

"Are you sure you are ready for this?" he said looking at me concerned. I started the car as if to answer his question. The engine roared loudly. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I was going to see Bella.

I did not even bother to figure out what I was going to say, but I was going to see her. I pulled out my cell phone and called Alice. She had left earlier in the day, probably trying to escape the screaming demon from hell.

"Hey Edward, are you still at home?" She said answering on the second ring.

"Umm, you could say something like that. I am trying to get the hell out of this house. What are you up to?" I said hoping she was with Bella.

"I am just shopping, but even this is losing its fascination. Forks only has so much good taste," she said and scoffed. I laughed at her; she was overly dramatic.

"Well then hey, let's go to Port Angeles. I have to get out of here for a couple hours. Em is with me. Maybe you should bring Bella, you know, to bring a girl along so you will have someone to shop with," I said trying to be casual about it.

"Oh Edward, you are a genius!" she squealed and I pulled the phone from my ear. "I am in town already but meet me at Bella's house in 20 minutes," she said hanging up the phone. Great, that was all I wanted to hear.

I reached up onto my visor and pushed the button and the garage door behind me opened loudly, screeching as it reached the top and came to a halt. I put the car into reverse and slowly backed out of the garage, Emmett staring at me the whole time. I pulled down the driveway back to the road and drove as quickly as I could to Bella's house.

We pulled up to the house, Alice's car already in the driveway next to Bella's old truck. I parked near the curb and Alice came running out of the house, a stunned look on her face. I laughed at her expression, got out, laid my arms on the roof of the car, and looked at her gawking at my car.

"Edward….what is this? You NEVER drive this car?" she said walking closer. Bella's head had then appeared in the doorway, apparently just as shocked.

"It's just time to drive it, I guess. So I will drive to Port Angeles. Let's go." I said waving towards the car. Alice ran back up the porch steps and pulled Bella inside and they both ran out, Bella running along behind Alice. Emmett got out of the car and pulled the seat forward to let them inside, and they slid across the leather seats.

I jumped in the car, pulled off onto the street, and headed out towards Port Angeles. Emmett reached over and turned the radio on, loud rock music roared from the speakers. I smiled at my success of the car. It really was a piece of art. We all sang along loudly with the music, head banging and laughing. I looked in my rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Bella, her long brown hair framed her pretty face, her perfect lips curled into a big grin, and her big brown eyes sparkled.

We made it to Port Angeles in great time and we parked in front of the mall. I got out, pulled the seat forward, and held out my hand to Bella. She looked at it for a moment and hesitantly reached for it, and I pulled her out. Knowing her, she would have fallen on her face. Alice got out on Emmett's side and we all headed into the mall.

Alice of course wanted to go into the clothing stores so Emmett and I headed off towards some video games store to find some "cool new RPG" game. Whatever that was. I turned around and watched Bella and Alice as they walked off into some girlie store, with a look of panic on Bella's face. I loved the fact she was not like Alice.

Emmett and I walked around the mall for a while, stopping in some sporting goods store, a small video game store, of course a candy store where Emmett got a huge bag of gummy worms. He was bigger than your normal man was, but he was such a child, he was a man-child. That thought made me laugh. I left him in the store and found a bookstore a couple doors down. I looked around and found some books on the Civil War and World War I and II that looked interesting, so I decided to buy them. As I was at the counter paying for my books, Alice and Bella walked in the store, Alice with four bags in both hands, and just two in Bella's hands.

"So, Edward, I am famished. I think we need to get some food," Alice said leaning up against the counter. As if Emmett had heard the word food, he charged into the store and stood in front of me, shoving gummy worms into his mouth. I could not help but laugh at him. He was always hungry. We walked out of the mall, Alice and Bella put all of their bags into the trunk, and we all got in.

I drove to a small Mexican restaurant that I knew of that had good food and pulled into the spot and Alice squealed. I knew she liked this place too; she was the one that introduced me to it. Alice pushed against my seat, forcing me to jump from the car and pull the seat forward so she could get out and she pulled Bella behind her. Bella caught her foot on the seat belt and nearly fell to the ground, but I grabbed her arm in time and pulled her up quickly. She looked up at me and blushing a subtle pink shade. She was lucky I had good reflexes; otherwise, she would be getting hurt constantly. What did she do when I was not around? I could not even imagine how much she was getting hurt.

I opened the door for the girls, Emmett trailed behind me, and we waited at the podium. I stepped in front of the girls, leaned against the podium, and waited for the hostess to seat us. A brown-haired woman approached us and stared at me reverently, mouth gaping open and I smiled my best smile.

"Table for four," I said and the girl blushed and grabbed four menus.

"Right this way," she said to me turning and walking to the back of the room to a booth. The girls lead the way to the booth and they both scooted in together on one side, Bella on the outside, and then Emmett and I scooted in with me sitting across from Bella.

The hostess handed us our menus, staring at me the whole time. Gees, did she have to be so obvious? She winked at me and walked off; I turned to my menu and saw Bella staring at me over my menu. I pulled my menu up to block her glaring eyes. I looked over the menu, not feeling very hungry suddenly. I chose something quickly off the menu and placed it down on the table in front of me. I folded my hands and darted my eyes around the room, trying not to make eye contact with Bella.

The waitress came to the table to take our orders and she stared at both Emmett and I, flirting furiously as if it was going out of style. Emmett of course was eating it up, flirting right back with her, encouraging it.

"So Selena is it? What a pretty name that is" Emmett said to the waitress. She looked down and blushed. God he could be so disgusting sometimes. I rolled my eyes. Selena took our orders, walking away, still red in the cheek.

I looked at Bella but she was not paying any attention to me, instead she was looking over at a nearby table, watching two guys as they ate. They saw her looking at them and they smiled, and she returned that smile then looked back at me and glared. I think my mouth might have dropped open. Wow, she sure was ballsy.

I turned to Emmett who was talking to Alice about some video game he had, but she was absentmindedly stirring her water around and around. I nodded along to what Emmett was saying, acting as if I was paying attention but I was not. Alice seemed to snap out of her trance and immediately started going on and on to Bella about clothes.

After a couple minutes of Alice rambling on, on about some pair of jeans, the food finally arrived, and Selena sat the food down on the table and smiled at Emmett, who winked at her and walked off.

"Emmett, you are disgusting, you know that?" Alice said looking at him, repulsed. She picked up her fork and began to eat. We all ate in silence; this was not going exactly as I had planned. I decided that it would be a good idea if we went to the movies.

"So what do you guys think about going to catch a movie?" I said hopefully. I looked around the table and Alice's face lit up.

"I have wanted to see this vampire movie that is out, I love scary movies and gore," she said. That was oddly surprising.

The waitress came back with the bill and I promptly paid with a credit card. At least my mother was good for something, but it is not as if I ever used it anyways. She paid it so I never even cared. We all got up and walked toward the front, the hostess winking at me again as she said goodbye, and I could have sworn I had seen Bella's face and she looked infuriated. That made me smirk, she was jealous.

I opened the car door for Alice and Bella who both got in, the expression I had seen early had vanished. I got in, started the car, and headed out for the movie theater. Emmett was texting on his phone being unusually quiet.

"So guys, Rose is going to meet us at the movies. I asked her to come, I hope that's ok," he said turning to look at the girls in the back seat.

"Oh good! I love Rose!" Alice said cheerfully. Emmett turned to look at me and I tried to force a smile.

I pulled into the parking lot and saw Rosalie standing up against her car, a black Mercedes SUV. I hated when she tried to show off. I pulled in next to her, Emmett jumping from the car before I had even stopped and threw his arms around her, kissing her passionately on the lips. I wanted that, I wanted the passion, the heat, the love. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and I saw someone standing next to Emmett. I got out of the car and saw it was Jasper. I narrowed my eyes at him who gave me a look of agitation. We did not like each other, and we both knew it, but I was not about to start something, not around Bella, and not tonight. I pulled the seat up for the girls to get out and Alice nearly knocked me out of the way trying to get out running to Jasper.

She ran to Jasper, embraced him tightly, and looked up into his eyes. I rolled my eyes as he held her in his arms. This was going to be so damn awkward now. Everyone was coupled up. I put my hand out for Bella and helped her out this time, I held her hand a little bit longer than I had the last time and releasing it slowly. Her hands were so soft and small.

We all walked up to the ticket window, got our tickets, and walked inside to the concession stand. I looked at everyone but no one really seemed interested in food. They were all talking to each other so I stood in line. You cannot come to a movie and not get popcorn and M&M's.

"Does anyone want anything," I said but no one answered me. I shrugged, turned around, and waited in line when I heard a tiny voice next to me.

"I'd like a soda and some peanut butter M&M's" Bella said smiling. Her smile made me want to do anything to keep it on her face. I nodded and she waited with me in line until it was my turn to order.

I ordered and grabbed our stuff and handed Bella her soda and M&M's and she smiled graciously, and we walked over to the group. Emmett was snuggling in Rose's hair who was giggling and Alice had her arm interlocked in Jasper's arm. We all walked toward the theater, I held the door open for the girls, and they all walked in. The theater was bare and Alice chose seats in the middle of the theater. Alice led the pack holding on to Jasper's hand leading him down the row, then Bella, myself, Rosalie and Emmett. I didn't exactly like where I was sitting but I decided I would deal with it. I turned to my left, looked at Bella, and smiled, who smiled right back at me.

I set my soda in my holder to the right and rested my arms on the armrests just centimeters from Bella's arm. The lights in the theater dimmed and the movie began playing the previews, when suddenly I felt something touch my hand. I looked down and noticed it was Rosalie's hand. I pulled my hand away and rested it in my lap. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her turn her head to look at me but I refused turn and look at her. She moved her hand and Emmett pulled her closer towards him, for which I was grateful.

I could not wait until summer; Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett would be graduating and off to college. They were all seniors and they would all be leaving, and that thought made me extremely happy. I had Bella and Alice, and they were the most important people to me. I would get next year alone with Bella, no distractions.

I leaned back into my chair and tried to focus on the previews. Finally, the movie began and I could hear Rosalie giggling, I rolled my eyes. God, could she be anymore annoying? I shifted in my seat feeling rather uncomfortable and breathed slowly in and out trying to calm myself. She really made my blood boil.

I knew Emmett loved her, and that is why I tried so hard to tolerate her, but I could not figure out what he saw in her. I closed my eyes, shook my head, and focused back on the movie. Why was I letting her get to me? I was here with Bella, the exact thing I wanted to do all day, why was I not happy?

I turned and looked at Bella, who had this look of utter horror on her face as she watched the monsters on the screen. Her face suddenly twisted her lips into the most disgusted look anyone could manage and I laughed loudly. She turned to look at me, she glared at me, and I laughed again at her feeble attempt to deter me from finding humor in her facial expressions. She slapped my arm with as much force as she could muster, which was rather weak and she turned back to watched the movie. The movie was rather boring, I had expected more but how could I have when Alice is the one that chose the movie. I watched as the vampires found their prey and attacked, fake blood squirting in every direction. What horrible effects, that totally did not even look real, I scoffed at the screen. Bella screamed and grabbed my arm and buried her head into my shoulder.

I looked down at her twisting my shirtsleeve in her small hands, twitching as she peaked around her hands to watch the fake gore. She was so freaking cute. As if she had suddenly realized what she was doing she looked up at me and I stared back into her dark eyes and smiled. She released my shirt and sat back in her chair. I looked past her and noticed that Alice was not watching the movie; she was in a full-fledged make out session with Jasper, who seemed to be enjoying himself. Bella looked at me, and turned to follow my gaze and immediately turned her head back to the screen with wide eyes.

A couple more times during the movie, she buried her head into my shirt, perhaps a little more intentional than before. She was being more relaxed and touching me more. I did not know if I should make a move, like put my arm around her or if that would be too cheesy. The movie was getting closer to the end of the movie and I was losing time. I started to panic a bit, I tried to convince myself just to do it, make a move, but the opportunity had passed. I sighed in defeat; I lost my chance.

Suddenly she did it again and I saw the chance, as she clutched to my shirt tightly, I lifted the armrest and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me, as close as the armrest would allow. I was nervous; would she try to pull away? She stiffened for a second and then she relaxed in my arms. I did not dare look down as I might lose my composure.

For the rest of the movie, which was only a good ten minutes, she sat in my arms, nestled up against my side, it was heaven. The credits began to roll across the screen and I noticed that Alice and Jasper had just begun situating themselves back into their seats. Who were they kidding? Did they really think that no one saw that? I saw out of the corner of my eye Rosalie was staring at me, so I turned my head and realized she wasn't staring at me; she was staring at Bella who wasn't paying any attention. Her eyes darted to mine, and she glared at me. I turned my head, looked down at the top of Bella's head, and leaned my cheek down on top of it.

The lights began to come on and I pulled my cheek from her head and slowly pulled us to a standing position. She looked up at me with the biggest grin I had ever seen her wear. That is what I liked to see, the smile. Emmett lead the way with Rosalie in hand from the near empty theater and out into the lobby, the bright lights nearly blinding me.

Apparently, the two hours in the dark had advanced Alice and Jasper's relationship, Jasper leaned down and kissed Alice sweetly. They were public about it now. She was happy, and it was good to see her happy, even if it was with Jasper. It wasn't even that I did not like him, he wasn't a bad guy, and I knew it. We were in a stupid situation that neither of us wanted to be in. I hoped he would understand that as well. We walked out to the cars and Emmett opened the passenger door of Rosalie's SUV and walked around to the driver door. I looked at him confused.

"Hey, I am just going to go over to Rose's for awhile, ok Bro?" He said smiling. I nodded and Alice ran up to me tugging on my shirt.

"Yeah, Edward I am going to go with them so I can hang out with Jasper. Would you mind taking Bella home for me?" She said, her eyes pleading. "Bella is that ok if Edward drives you home?" She said turning to look at Bella who just nodded nervously. I sighed.

"Alright Alice, but please be careful," I said as she wrapped her arms around my waist and squealed. She jumped up and kissed my cheek and I rolled my eyes.

"Thank you so much Edward," She said running to the SUV and getting in.

I opened the passenger door for Bella, closed the door behind her, and got in. I hesitated for a moment, unsure if I should say anything. I turned and looked at her; she was looking down at her lap, fidgeting with her hands. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot back towards Forks. We drove for a while in silence, this wasn't the way I had this all pictured in my head, but then again nothing in my life ever was.

"So umm Bella, did you want to do something else or…did you want me to just drop you off at home?" I said hoping she would say something else. She turned and looked at me and then she gazed out her window without answering me. I looked forward a little nervous. Had I done something wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have put my arms around her. Damn it, I had scared her away. I sighed in defeat. I continued driving without so much as looking at her when she suddenly spoke.

"I would like to look at the stars again tonight," she said surprising me. I turned to look at her and she was smiling.

"Oh, well that'll be a couple hours still but I bet we can manage that. You want to go to your house?" I asked because I really did not want to go back to mine, even though that is where the telescope was, and the best view.

"Oh, umm my Dad might be home. I do not think he would like it if I were in the house alone with a boy. Why don't we go to your house?" Damn it. I nodded and kept driving, but this time back to my house.

Darkness was about an hour away when I pulled up to the house, the house was dark. I pulled my car into the garage and noticed that Esme's car was gone. They must have gone out. We were alone, and that made me equally nervous and excited. I jumped from the car, ran to the other side, pulled the door open for her, and helped her out. We walked up the steps to the quiet, dark house.

"Are your aunt and uncle home?" she said looking up at me. I shook my head slowly.

"No, I don't know where they are," I said honestly, opening the door and letting Bella walk in front of me. I hoped they didn't come back anytime soon either.

I walked into the living room that was scattered with toys from Emmilie. I stepped around her toys and walked into the kitchen pulling the fridge open, searching for something to settle my now rumbling stomach. I looked at the clock on the microwave; it was nearly seven. Bella came into the kitchen, stood near the island, and watched me as I scratched my head. I heard her laugh and she was suddenly by my side, pushing me out of the way.

"How about you let me do the cooking, Mr. Cullen," she said winking at me. I back away from the fridge, sat at the island, and watched her work.

"So what is for dinner Ms. Swan," I said smirking. She looked up from the chicken she had just taken out of the fridge and grinned.

"It's a secret." she said smugly and continued to clean the chicken and cut it into chunks. I sat in the chair with my head in my hand and watched her work through the kitchen with fluid movements, moving from stove to cutting board. She poured some pasta into a pot of boiling water and began chopping some broccoli into pieces.

After nearly thirty minutes, she began plating the food and placed it in front of me. It was Chicken Alfredo. It smelled so good and I leaned down, taking in a deep breath of the deliciousness that was sitting in front of me. She came and sat next to me and she watched intently as I took the first bite, waiting for my reaction. The food was amazing. I turned at her, smiled, and nodded. She smiled smugly and began eating the food herself.

"This is really good, Bella. I should tell Esme and Carlisle we should hire you on as chef." I said and piled more food into my mouth. I hadn't eaten this well in I don't know how long. My mom used to cook for us like this when we were younger. She laughed at my joke and we eagerly ate our food. After I finished eating, I picked my plate up, carried it to the sink, washed it off, and put it in the dishwasher.

"Are you done with that," I asked her, pointing to the plate. She nodded and I grabbed her plate put it in the dishwasher next to mine. I looked outside and it was twilight; it would be dark soon. I motioned for her to follow me and I took us up the two flights of stairs and down the hall into my room. She entered my room, hesitating and stood near the door. I looked around for my bag that held the telescope and found it lying behind the door where I had dropped it a couple of days ago. I picked it up and pulled the telescope out, assembling it as quickly as I could manage. The sun was down and it was dark now.

"We can see the stars really well out on the balcony," I said opening the French doors. I carried the telescope out onto the balcony and placed it in front of a chair that I never used. I sat down in it and adjusted the settings on the telescope. I got up and patted it. Bella slowly came over and sat down in it. I leaned over her and pulled the telescope closer toward us and she looked through it. I stood behind her with my hands on the back of the chair looking up at the stars for a moment and then back down at her.

"What is this one here," she said getting up from the chair so I could look. I sat down and looked through the telescope. I focused it slowly trying to get a better look. I was familiar with this one.

"That would be Hydra. It is said that Apollo the sun god sent his pet raven down to earth to get the god some fresh water. Unfortunately, the bird was not trustworthy and when he came down to earth with his master's cup, he saw a fig tree was about to bear fruit so he decided to wait a couple days until the fruit was ripe. Once the fruit had ripened, he ate until it was all gone. He filled the cup with fresh water but then he soon realized that his master would be upset for him taking so long, so when he saw a water serpent laying near by he decided to take it back up to the heavens and tell his master that he was attacked and that is what caused the delay. The raven told Apollo his story and immediately he knew it was a lie so he grabbed the bird, cup and bird in tow, and threw him out heaven. We see them together in the sky as Crater, the Cup, and Corvus, the Raven, perched on the serpent's back. And that is the story of the hydra," I said sitting back in the chair as Bella leaned against the side of the chair, arm resting on the back. Her hand slipped and she lost her balance, falling across my lap.

"Hi," I said looking down in to her beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I could see her cheeks redden, even in the moonlight. I leaned down slowly, breathing in her flowery scent, edging closer to her face. I saw her close her eyes, and I closed mine hovering just inches over her pouty lips. I cupped her face in my hands and bent down lower.

"EDWARD!" I heard Alice run out the balcony and I lifted my head. She stopped at the door, staring back at us. I gave her an irritated look and she took a step back and tuned her lips into an "o". Bella sat up, pulled herself out of my lap, and stood up quickly.

"We were just looking at the stars, and I fell," Bella said looking down at the wood panel floor, grinding her toe into the wood nervously.

"Oh…yeah," Alice said. "I am sorry to interrupt; I thought Edward had taken you home. I am sorry, Edward," she said looking at me and flying out my bedroom door. I sighed. Damn it, Alice.

"It's getting late," Bella said turning to me. I nodded. I rose from the chair slowly, pulled my keys from my pocket, and lead he way down the stairs. I saw Esme sitting in the living room, bouncing Emmilie on her knee. I heard Emmilie giggle and I quickened my pace out the front door and down the steps to the garage.

I opened the door for Bella and she climbed in. We drove the whole way back to Bella's house in silence. I parked the car along the curb in front of her house. She sat there for a moment with her hands in her lap, and then she turned and looked at me and she smiled. I wanted to kiss her and now was my chance. I leaned forward across the center console, but before I knew what was happening, Bella was out the door and sprinting across the yard and up the stairs of the house. I slammed my hands down on the steering wheel and tried to calm myself.

I pulled away from the curb, pissed off at Alice for interrupting me and pissed off at myself. I drove home in silence trying to calm my anger. By the time I pulled into the garage, I realized it wasn't Alice's fault, it just was. I climbed the stairs into the house and walked into the living room where Esme was still sitting with Emmilie. She watched me as I sat next to her and I stared at the sleeping baby.

I sat on the couch and talked with Esme for a while as she rocked the baby back and forth until it was time to put the baby to sleep. Esme rose from the couch, ready to put Emmilie to bed.

"Get to bed soon, honey," She said walking towards the stairs.

"Could you turn the lights off, Esme? I think I am going to sit here for a little bit longer." I said and she nodded and turned the lights off. I sat in the dark and watched her climb the stairs, cradling the sleeping baby in her arms. Maybe everything would be all right here, and maybe I could finally be happy. I climbed the stairs up to my room ready for this day to be finished. I dressed for bed, got under the covers, and pulled on my ear buds, grateful for music to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes and welcomed the sleep that overcame me within minutes.


	8. Kiss and Tell

**

* * *

**

Chapter 8

**Bella**

I was nervous once we started to climb the two flights of stairs up to his room. We were all alone in the house, just Edward and I. Alone. Alone with Edward. My heart beat quickly at the thought and I tried to slow it down by breathing in deep breaths. I followed behind Edward up to the third floor where we turned down the hall towards his bedroom.

He opened the door to his room and walked in looking around the floor for something. I slowly entered the room, hovering in the doorway. He grabbed a black backpack that I had recognized from the other night and dumped the contents out of the bag. He assembled the telescope quickly and opened the French doors out onto the balcony.

"We can see the stars really well out on the balcony," he said carrying the telescope out on the balcony and setting it in front of a lone patio chair.

He sat down in front of it, fidgeting with knobs and pointed it higher into the sky. He got up from the chair and motioned for me to sit, so I slowly made my way to the chair and sat down hesitantly. He reached over me and pulled it closer to me and I grabbed it and looked through the lens. I saw a bunch of stars but I didn't recognize them.

"What is this one here," I said lifting myself from the chair so he could look. He sat down and fidgeted with the knobs again, and he was quiet for a moment before he spoke again.

"That would be Hydra. It is said that Apollo the sun god sent his pet raven down to earth to get the god some fresh water. Unfortunately, the bird was not trustworthy and when he came down to earth with his master's cup, he saw a fig tree was about to bear fruit so he decided to wait a couple days until the fruit was ripe. Once the fruit had ripened, he ate until it was all gone. He filled the cup with fresh water but then he soon realized that his master would be upset for him taking so long, so when he saw a water serpent laying near by he decided to take it back up to the heavens and tell his master that he was attacked and that is what caused the delay. The raven told Apollo his story and immediately he knew it was a lie so he grabbed the bird, cup and bird in tow, and threw him out heaven. We see them together in the sky as Crater, the Cup, and Corvus, the Raven, perched on the serpent's back. And that is the story of the hydra," he said leaning back from the telescope and resting against the back of the chair.

I laid my arm across the back and leaned into the chair, but my hand lost its grip on the slippery material. I lost my footing and the next thing I knew I was laying in Edwards's arms. He looked down at me and smiled.

"Hi," he said softly. I had to have been blushing. Of freaking course. He leaned down, getting closer and closer to my face and I closed my eyes and waited for the moment he would press his lips into mine. I could feel his warm breath wash over my face. He grabbed my face in his hands and I knew this was going to be it. He was going to kiss me. My hearted pounded violently in my chest, and I wondered if he could feel it. Everything began to get foggy and I felt like I was dreaming, that was the only explanation for what was happening. I was dreaming. I was ready for this, I was more than ready. As if someone was stirring me from a dream, I heard a distant voice.

"EDWARD!" I heard someone say. My eyes snapped open and I looked up at Edward, who was facing toward the door. I saw Alice standing in the doorway with a surprised look on her face. She stepped back suddenly, unsure of what to do. I crawled out of Edward's lap as quickly as I could manage and I stood up.

"We were just looking at the stars, and I fell," I said nervously, hoping she would buy it. I knew she was going to give me twenty questions later anyways. She knew there was more to it than what I had just said.

"Oh…yeah," she said. "I am sorry to interrupt. I thought Edward had taken you home. I am sorry, Edward," she said darting her eyes to Edward's face and then sprinting out of sight.

I realized then that the moment was over, and we wouldn't be able to get it back. Who knows who else was home now. I was completely and utterly embarrassed, I had been caught in an almost kiss with my best friend's cousin. I was never going to hear the end of this. I think it was time to go home.

"It's getting late," I said looking at him. He said nothing, just nodded, and he got to his feet and I followed him down the stairs. We passed Esme in the living room holding Baby Emmilie and I notice Edward begin to walk faster out the door. We didn't talk the whole way, he just opened my door and I got in obediently. He drove me home, staring directly at the road, never looking at me, and parked in front of my house.

I sat in the passenger seat feeling a little disappointed and embarrassed for what had happened. I stared and my hands and decided I would be brave and just kiss him myself. I turned to look at him, his beautiful face, his sparkly green eyes, and his perfect mouth. He leaned in closer to me and I lost my nerve. I grabbed the door handle and slammed the door, running across the grass as fast as my legs could carry me. I ran inside the house, closed the front door and leaned up against it.

I waited to hear his car pull away and finally it did, and I relaxed. I played back what had just happened over and over in my head. I was a complete fool. I had just run away from Edward. I closed my eyes and beat my fists against the door. This had to be the worst day ever. What if he didn't want to kiss me anymore?

I ran up to my room, not bothering to turn on the light, and threw myself face first onto my bed. I wanted Edward, I wanted to kiss his sweet lips, and feel his arms around me once more. I sighed into my pillow. I kicked off my shoes, rolled over onto my back, and closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes and Edward's face was in front of me. He was leaning over me and smiling widely, his eyes flashing with an unfamiliar emotion. He leaned down, kissed me sweetly on my lips, running his hand up my side, and cupped my face gently in his hand. He smiled at me and kissed me again, this time with a little more passion. I reached up and ran my fingers through his bronze hair. He pulled back and brushed my hair, staring into my eyes. I rolled over onto my side to look into his eyes. He lay on his side, one arm resting on my waist, the other over his head, running his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes; this must be what heaven is like. I breathed in deeply, smelling his soap and cologne. He always smelled delicious.

I slowly opened my eyes, and he was gone. I sat up in bed and looked around the room, still dark. He had never been there. I rolled my eyes, fell back onto my pillow, and looked over at the clock. I hadn't been asleep very long. I rolled over onto my side and faced the wall. The dream was so realistic, I could have sworn that I had really smelled him and touched him. I closed my eyes again and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to a knock on my door. I rubbed my eyes and Charlie was standing at the foot of my bed, holding a cup of coffee. I sat up, still sleepy and groaned loudly. Charlie laughed and sipped his coffee. I plopped myself back onto my pillow and closed my eyes.

"Bells, come on, wake up. Billy is expecting us," Charlie said grabbing my foot and shaking it.

"Daaaaddd!" I said pulling the pillow over my head. I totally forgot that I had promised him I would go with him to La Push today. I groaned again loudly into my pillow and flailed my legs around throwing a tantrum. I could be dramatic sometimes.

"Come on, get dressed and be ready in 20 minutes," he said walking out of the room. I sat up in bed and rubbed my head, I could tell my hair was all over the place. I sighed, swung my feet out of bed, and grabbed a towel that was hanging over my chair and walked to the shower. I was going to be worthless until I took a shower.

I turned the water to cold so it would wake me and I jumped in. The water was ice cold and my droopy eyes instantly shot open widely. I showered as quickly as I could and jumped out, warming myself with the soft cotton towel. I brushed my teeth quickly and ran back to my room. I rummaged around my closet for a minute before I found the old jeans with holes in the knees that I was looking for. I grabbed a long sleeve blue thermal shirt and a red plaid short sleeve shirt to wear over it. I dressed quickly and ran a brush through my hair, tying it up in a ponytail.

I ran down the stairs, nearly falling on the third step down, but I grabbed the banister and caught myself. I stopped at the bottom of the staircase and gained my composure before walking into the kitchen where Charlie was standing. He grabbed a bag that was lying on the counter and I followed him out to the car. He put the bag in the trunk and we both got into the car. I was still so sleepy.

I leaned my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes as he pulled out of the driveway and turned the car towards La Push. I didn't open my eyes until the car had finally stopped, and when I opened them, we were parking in front of an old rickety red house. Billy was standing on the porch waving and I waved back weakly.

I got out first and made my way over to Billy who gave me his usual bear hug; lifting me off the ground and putting me back down. I smiled at him, leaned up against the railing, and waited for Charlie. He grabbed his bags out of the trunk, walked over to us, and dropped his bags in front of me.

"Looks like you are all set," Billy said to Charlie. "Jacob is still getting ready, he will be out soon," he said to me. Billy and Charlie walked off into the house, taking the bags with them, and I sat in an old dilapidated rocking chair on the porch and rocked back and forth. I closed my eyes; the rocking soothed me, nearly to sleep until I heard someone step onto the porch.

"Hey Bella," Jacob said. I opened one eye to look at him. He stood in front of me dressed in a pair of worn jeans, a gray t-shirt and a blue jacket. I opened both eyes and looked up at him, his long dark hair pulled out of his face and he was smiling. He held his hand out to me, I took it and he helped me to my feet.

"Hey Jake," I said smiling. I had always liked Jake. We had grown apart over the past couple years. Our mom's were best friends and when Jacob's mom died 7 years ago, my mom had a hard time coming back here. It would be nice to hang out with him for a while because I did miss his company.

"So I guess we are stuck hanging out here since Dad and Charlie already took off towards the dock." he said looking down at me.

"Well….we could always go down to the beach," I said. Jake and I used to play on the beach when we were little. I remember coming here doing that a lot. Jake nodded in agreement. We started down towards the beach, talking about old times, growing up, and coming to the beach with our mothers who unfortunately both died. I guess we shared the same pain really, we both understood that about each other.

It was overcast today and kind of breezy and it made my sleepiness even worse, I just wanted to crawl back into my warm, soft bed and fall back asleep. I slowly trudged along with Jacob; he was talking about one of his friends, Quil or something. I don't remember him at all, maybe it was a newer friend.

We finally reached the beach; the waves were crashing down angrily onto the sand, rushing up quickly towards our feet. I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets as we walked along the beach. I saw a fallen tree in the sand so I went over, and sat on it, Jacob following.

"It's really nice to hang out with you again, Bella," Jacob said looking at me. I shivered and he put his arm around me and smiled.

"Yeah, I have really missed hanging out with you too, Jake. We really should do this more often." I leaned over onto his shoulder.

We sat on the tree and talked about school, life, family, and friends for a long time. He made me laugh and forget about being tired. We talked about our mothers, which made me cry and he reached over and brushed the tears from my cheeks.

"It's ok Bella, you remember how it was for me when I lost my mom? It gets easier, I promise," he said smiling. "It was hard for my sisters because they were with her longer. I was still a little boy and had no idea what happened."

He pulled me up from the tree and we began walking again down the beach towards the house. It had to be nearly noon by now and my stomach was rumbling. We reached the house, Charlie and Billy were still gone, and we went inside and I sat at a small table in the kitchen while Jacob brought out some chips and sat down.

"Jacob! You can't eat just chips," I said getting up from the table and walking to the cupboards. He chewed on the chips loudly and laughed.

"Why not? Chips are a vegetable, they are good for you," he said laughing. I laughed and rolled my eyes at him and pulled out some bread and peanut butter. I grabbed the jelly from the fridge and began making us sandwiches.

I placed a sandwich in front of Jacob, which he picked up and chewed happily. He tried to mumble something but I couldn't make it out. I sat down, laughed, and ate my sandwich as I watched him eat the sandwich quickly.

"Slow down there before you choke!" I said trying to finish swallowing. He grinned at me widely, took his plate to the sink, and threw it in with a loud clank. He came and sat back down at the table with me and waited for me to finish my sandwich. I took my plate to the sink, dropping it in with a loud clank. I followed him into the living room and sat down in front of a small television set, and he turned it on.

I laid my head onto the back of the couch and watched the television as Jacob talked about a car he was rebuilding. I closed my eyes nearly falling asleep, listening to Jacob's soft soothing voice. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and I snuggled into the warm body next to me. A soft moan passed my lips.

"Edward…" I moaned quietly and I felt warm lips press into my own, I was surprised but I kissed them back, finally he had kissed me. He cupped my face in his big hands and I reached my hand up to run it through his bronze hair, but it wasn't the hair I had expected, it was longer, much longer. My eyes shot open and I saw Jacob's closed eyes in front of me and I pulled away, our lips parting.

"Jacob!" I screamed, jumping off the couch. "What in the hell do you think you were doing?" I said putting my hands on my hips. He got to his foot and stood in front of me, nearly a head taller, and he reached out to grab me but I backed away.

"Bella, I thought you wanted me to. You leaned into me and tilted your head up and stuff…," he said moving closer. I backed up as far as I could go; my back was up against the wall. I put my hands out to stop him from coming any closer.

"No, Jacob, it's not like that with us. I am sorry if I gave you that impression, but we are just friends," I said wrapping my arms around my body, his face staring down at the ground, backing away from me.

Billy and Charlie walked in through the front door laughing until they saw us standing in the living room. Charlie looked at me and I am sure my defensive stance was confusing to him.

"Bella….Bella, are you guys ok?" he said shifting his gaze between both of us. I nodded quickly, trying to hold back tears. This was my fault.

"Dad, do you think we can go, I am really tired." I said squeezing hurriedly past Jacob towards Charlie and grabbing his arm. He looked down at me, concern flashing across his face.

"Well, I guess if you are tired, we can go home," he said wrapping his arm around me. Yes, I wanted to go home, back to my warm safe bed, back to my Edward.

I walked out the door before Charlie and I said goodbye to Billy and Jacob and got into the car. Charlie shook Billy's hand and said his goodbyes, grabbed his bags off the porch and put his stuff in the trunk. I knew he was going to question me. He got into the car, started it and pulled away from Billy's house before he asked me anything.

"Bella, what happened, why did you want to leave so quickly?" he said turning to me.

"I am tired, Dad. I promise that's all." I said trying to look convincing.

"Did something happen between you and Jacob?" he said. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Was it that obvious?

"No, nothing happened, Dad. I swear I am just really tired." I said leaning my head against the window, looking out aimlessly. We drove home the rest of the way with Charlie talking about some of the big fish that they had caught. I guess that is what I was making for dinner. I hated fish but I couldn't let it go to waste. I made a mental list of everything I needed to make for dinner tonight.

We pulled into the driveway and I saw Alice's car sitting near the curb. What was she doing here? Oh wait, I know exactly what she was doing here. She had come to question me about last night. I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. I wonder how long she had been sitting here. I walked around the driveway to the yard; Alice was emerging from her car, a look of irritation spread across her face. I walked towards the car and stopped at the curb.

"Hey Alice," Charlie said grabbing his bags from the trunk. "Nice to see you again. Hope you weren't waiting long. How are your parents? I saw them the other day in town." He said stopped in the middle of the yard.

"Oh they are great," Alice said smiling. "They just adopted a baby girl from Seattle about a week ago." She said walking up to me and grabbing my arm. Charlie smiled.

"Well isn't that nice of them?" he said walking into the house. She grabbed my arm tightly, pulled me towards the steps, and sat down.

"Bella, what in the hell happened last night?" she said turning to face me, staring right at me. I sighed.

"Nothing Alice, I told you. I was leaning against the chair and I fell, he just happened to catch me." She rolled her eyes in disbelief.

"Bella, you are a terrible liar you know that?" She said facing forward. "I know what I saw last night, and that wasn't just a 'fall'," she said putting up imaginary quotation marks on the word fall. I scoffed trying to blow off her accusations, but she grabbed my arm again and turned towards me. "Did you kiss Edward?" She said never flinching.

"Alice!" I screamed and pulled my arm from her grasp. "No! We never kissed," I said rubbing my injured arm.

"Bella, I am not mad, I just want to know. I am hurt you would keep this from me," she said looking down. "I thought we were best friends." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders to comfort her.

"We ARE best friends, Alice." I said in a soothing voice.

"Then why didn't you tell me about you guys?" She said looking up into my eyes. I sighed.

"Alice, there is really nothing to tell. Nothing has happened between us." I said looking down. That doesn't mean I didn't want something to happen.

"I know better. I didn't really notice anything until last night, then everything made sense, the way you guys look at each other, and how you always are off by yourselves. You like him, don't you?" she said. I nodded and she squealed.

She wrapped her tiny arms around my shoulders and squealed again. She was happy about this? I would have figured she would be mad. Then again, I have never seen Alice mad, besides she loved playing matchmaker.

"This is so exciting! I am going to dress you up so cute. Can you come over tonight?" she said getting to her feet quickly.

"I really don't know, today I am really supposed to be spending time with Charlie." I said nodded towards the front door. "I can see what I can do, I will call you, okay?" I said standing. She hugged me tightly, waved goodbye, and pulled out of sight down the street.

I climbed the stairs to the house and walked in the door, immediately I heard a game on the television. I walked up to my bedroom and threw myself across my bed. It was after one but I needed a nap, I had been up early and out there for hours.

-------

I woke up and looked at the clock and it was nearly four. I went to the bathroom, splashed my face with cold water, and headed down stairs. I heard a game on the television still. I walked into the kitchen and pulled the fish from the fridge, thank god, he had already gutted the fish otherwise I might have puked. I washed the fish and seasoned it, putting it in a deep pan. I pulled out some veggies, chopped them, put them in the pan with the fish, and stuck it in the oven.

I went into the living room and plopped myself down on the couch next to Charlie, beer in hand. He lifted his arm and pulled me towards him. He had never done that before but it was a nice change. I cuddled up next to Charlie and rested my head on his chest. He looked down at me and patted my arm lightly. We watched the baseball game together; occasionally he would get riled up about something and start yelling at the television. That made me laugh.

I could smell the fish baking in the oven, which grossed me out, so I got up to check it. I pulled on the black oven mitt, reached into the oven and pulled the fish out. I poked it with a fork and it fell apart. I guess the fish was finished. I pulled the pan out of the oven, closing the door with my hip, and placed it down on two potholders. I pulled the oven mitt off, grabbed two plates from the cupboard, and carried them to the dining table. Charlie, having apparently smelled the fish, was sitting in his spot by the time I had brought the pan into the dining room placing it again on a potholder in the middle of the table.

He grabbed the serving fork and began shoveling fish and vegetables onto his plate. I just stared at the pan in disgust, a horrified look on my face. No way was I even touching that fish. I picked at some of the vegetables closest to the outside, hoping they had not been tainted with the taste of fish.

I dropped them onto my plate and lifted one to my mouth hesitantly. I bit into it; it had a slight fishy taste, but nothing I couldn't handle. Charlie ate his food enthusiastically, smiling as he chewed the fish. I ate slowly, chewing the vegetables until I had disintegrated it in my mouth before swallowing.

"This is excellent, Bella," Charlie said through a mouthful of fish. I smiled at him.

"Glad you like it," I said picking up a piece of asparagus and chewing the end. He finished his meal quickly, turned, got up, and headed back to the couch before he missed anything important. I was thankful; at least I didn't have to pretend to eat this meal anymore. I cleared the table, putting the fish into a container so he could take it to work for lunch. I washed the dishes and looked over at the clock. It was almost six. I decided that I had spent enough "father-daughter time" with Charlie. I was going to go to Alice's house.

I marched into the living room, preparing myself to butter up Charlie so he would let me go. I snuggled up underneath his arm again, and he slowly sipped his beer. I looked up at him and batted my eyelashes exaggeratedly. He looked down and me and furrowed his brow.

"What are you doing? Ohhh, I get it," he said sitting up. "What do you want, Bella?" he said setting his beer on the side table and turning to look at me.

"Well Dad, Alice has asked me to come over tonight and I know that you wanted to hang out tonight and all but I really…." I said but he interrupted me before I could finish.

"Yeah, that is alright," he said nodding his head. "How long will you be gone? Are you spending the night?" She hadn't mentioned that but I suddenly grew excited at the thought of me spending the night again in the same house as Edward.

"I really don't know. I can call Alice." I said. I ran to grab the phone and dialed Alice's number and she immediately picked up.

"Hello?" Alice said as I sat down next to Charlie, Charlie looking at me.

"So Alice, I asked Charlie if I could come over," I said looking up at Charlie who smiled, "and he said I could come over." She squealed. "But umm, he was wondering how long I would be there. Will I be spending the night?" I questioned.

"You want to spend the night?" She asked me. I huffed into the phone. "Oh, OH! Yes, you most certainly are spending the night," she said giggling. I pulled my mouth away from the phone and mouth to Charlie that she wanted me to stay.

"Let me talk to Esme then Bella," Charlie said putting his hand out for the phone.

"Alice, Charlie wants to talk to Esme," I said a bit worried. I hope she wouldn't tell him that Edward and Emmett lived there, he would definitely freak out if he knew. I could hear Alice calling for Esme and then Esme picked up the phone.

"Hi Esme, this is Bella." I said politely.

"Oh hello, dear. How are you?" She said in her always sweet tone.

"I am fine thank you. I was wondering if I could spend the night tonight, but Charlie wanted to ask if it was ok with you first."

"Oh why of course you can spend the night, sweetie, you are always welcome here." She said and I handed Charlie the phone. He said hello and he nodded a bit, listening to Esme talk for a moment before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

"She said you are one of the sweetest girls she has ever met and you can come over and stay as long as you like. She sure is nice," He said patting my arm, getting up from the couch and walking into the kitchen.

I raced up the stairs and grabbed my bag, putting in a change of clothes, and running back down the stairs. Charlie called to me and I ran into the living room and leaning over the couch. He leaned over and kissed my cheek lightly.

"Be careful tonight, Bells, it is raining pretty hard," He said. I nodded and ran into the entry way, grabbing my rain jacket and pulling on a pair of tennis shoes. I yelled goodbye and ran out the door towards the truck, rain pelting down on me as I struggled to get my key into the lock. The bottoms of my jeans were getting soaked and finally the key turned in the lock and I yanked the door open quickly and jumped inside, safe and dry.

I got to Alice's house, it was still pouring down rain when I pulled into my regular spot. I pulled my hood over my head and ran from the truck up to the safety of the porch. I pulled my hood off, rang the doorbell and waited for Alice to answer the door, but Alice didn't answer it. I saw Edward round the corner of the entryway, a surprised look on his face. He unlocked the door, opened it widely, and stood staring at me.

"Hey," he said hesitantly looking me up and down. "I didn't know you were coming over," he said, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Alice invited me over," I said hotly." I didn't know I had to run my schedule by you." He look surprised at the tone I had taken with him and he stepped back and held the door open for me. I walked through the doorway, took my jacket off and walked further into the house, Edward trailing behind me.

Alice came barreling down the stairs and nearly knocked me over as she hugged me. She looked perplexed as she glanced over my shoulder at Edward who was standing behind me. She furrowed her brow. I turned around and saw Edward's face was a bright red color, his jaw taught, his teeth clenched. I could tell he was mad. I glared at him and ran up the stairs to her room, Alice following behind me. I pushed the door to her room open and plopped myself down on top of her bed. She entered behind me and closed the door softly.

"What in the hell was that all about?" Alice said placing her hands on her hips. She stared at my face, and I turned away and looked down at the carpet. "Bella, why was Edward pissed off?" She said coming closer to me.

"He answered the door and acted like he was irritated that I was here," I said defending myself, folding my arms under my chest. "So I gave him attitude." She sighed.

"Bella! You caught him off guard that is all. He has to know everything that is going on; he is so weird like that. He gets extremely irritable if we don't tell him our plans. That is what happened when Esme brought Emmilie home, remember? He was so mad he didn't even say anything." I nodded, that made sense. I dropped my shoulders, feeling bad.

"Maybe I should go apologize to him," I said standing up but she pushed me back down on the bed.

"No, not yet. You came over so we could make you pretty, and make you pretty is what we are going to do!" she said grabbing my hand and leading me into the bathroom. She sat me down at the vanity and pulled out the curling iron, laying it on the counter. She pulled my hair out of the ponytail, brushed it out, and sprayed more of her hair potions on it. I closed my eyes and enjoyed her brushing my hair; it relaxed me. She pulled my hair through the hot curling iron, holding it steady before letting the hair roll off making large barrel curls. She did that to my whole head and I looked in the mirror, pleased as usual. My hair was covered in big beautiful curls that hung down to my chest.

She grabbed her make up bag again and began applying a light application of powder to my face, a light eye shadow and some mascara. She pinched my cheeks gently and laughed as I rubbed them.

"It helps with the color, Bella." she said giggling. I stood and looked at myself in the mirror, admiring Alice's work. She walked out of the bathroom and I followed her into her closet. She scratched her chin and rummaged through some clothes on hangers. She grabbed a white short sleeve button up shirt and handed it to me. She walked further down her closet and rummaged through pants and shorts, and she pulled out a pair of black shorts with the cuffs rolled up an inch, handing them to me. I looked them over, they were very short. She pulled open a drawer on her island, sifting through belts until she pulled out a thin white belt and threw it at me. She walked out of the closet and closed the door behind her.

I slowly began to undress, putting the shirt on and buttoning it up all the buttons, then slipping into the black shorts. I looked down at my legs and sighed. They were so white you could nearly see through them. I ran the belt through the loops and latched it in the front. Alice knocked on the door and came in, I did an exaggerated pose, and she laughed.

"He is going to love that," She said going back to the island and opening up a jewelry box, pulling out ears until she found the pair she was looking for. She handed me a set of decent sized metal disc earrings and placed them in my hand. I put them in and she pulled out a set of silver bangle bracelets. She grabbed my hand and slipped them over my small wrist. She looked at my shirt and noticed I had buttoned it all the way up. She unbuttoned the top two buttons, revealed some of my cleavage. She nodded, apparently pleased, grabbed her perfume and sprayed me twice with it. I loved that perfume. She only wore it on special occasions so I felt honored when she let me wear it.

She looked me over one last time, turning me to look at every angle. She walked to the back wall and threw me a pair of white between the toe sandals with a buckle on top. I slipped the shoes on and looked in the mirror one last time. I did another turn. I looked cute. I really hope he liked it.

She pushed me out of the closet and out of her room. She shooed me off to his door and she slowly closed the door, urging me to go forward. I was nervous; I had just made an ass out of myself in front of him and had probably royally pissed him off. I turned back around to her door and she opened it widely and mouthed the words "go" back at me.

I took a deep breath, turned back around, and walked slowly towards his door. I slowly tiptoed to his door and knocked lightly. My heart started to pound, my mouth suddenly went dry, my ears ringing. I felt lightheaded, like I was about to pass out. I was about to turn around when his door swung open, and there he stood, lips pursed, jaw taught, his body rigid. He looked me up and down, his face softened, and his body relaxed.

"Hey," I said meekly. He looked at me questioningly. "Could I talk to you for a minute?" He didn't say anything, but he opened the door wider and I walked in slowly. He closed the door behind me and sat on the leather couch. He sat with his knees open and leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair in what looked like to be frustration.

"So talk," he said, harsher than I had expected. I winced at his words. He looked up at me, his green eyes narrowing in on my own. He was still mad. I sighed.

"I just wanted to……I wanted to apologized for earlier." he raised his eyebrows at me. "Please don't make this harder on me than it already is. I am sorry." He leaned back against the couch, throwing his arm over the top and looked out the window. I stood before him, wringing my hands nervously. He sighed deeply and turned back to me.

"Bella," he said getting to his feet, "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to….to….play this game with you." The angst was clear in his voice. He ran his fingers through his hair again and turned around quickly. "Damn it, I just don't know how to do this."

He turned around quickly and he cleared the distance between us in one long stride. He cupped my face in his hands, leaned down, and kissed me hard on the mouth. I was stiff at first, until he grabbed my waist and pulled my body towards him, the other hand he placed at the nape of my neck. His breathing accelerated as well as my own, I reached my hands up into his bronze hair, my heart beating rapidly, faster, and faster with every kiss he planted on my lips. The kisses slowed, and he pulled away from me, searching my face for a reaction.

I smiled widely at him, leaned up, and kissed him again, this time sucking his bottom lip into my mouth, gently nibbling on it. He pulled back, a smug grin pasted onto his face. He kissed me gently on the nose and loosened his grip around my waist. I leaned my head onto his chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly, just like my own, and breathed his scent in deeply. His heart began to slow, his breathing returned to normal. I pulled back and looked his face over and he was smiling a smile I had never seen him smile. He looked truly happy.

He pulled me towards the couch and I snuggled into his side, closing my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and I pulled my knees into my body. He was so warm and I sighed softly. He leaned his head down on top of my head, and gently ran his fingers through my soft curls. I was so happy, I didn't need to dream anymore, because at this point reality was better than any dream I could dream.

* * *

**A/N: Oh I loved this chapter. Finally Edward gets ballsy. I do love ballsy Edward.**

**Reviews are lovely and make me giggle. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate that you all like it, it makes me want to come home everyday after work and write til I am silly :P **

**The support is awesome!**


	9. Mickey Mouse Pancakes

**Chapter 9**

**Edward**

I watched Bella as she ran up the stairs with Alice, my jaw taught, my hands balled up into fists at my side. My heart raced and I felt my face and ears flush with heat. I had no idea she was coming over and she caught me by surprise, I hated surprises with a passion. Not only did she surprise me, she gave me attitude. Maybe I had overreacted a bit to her, but I couldn't help it. I walked into the kitchen; Esme was sitting in a chair feeding Emmilie.

"Hi sweetie," She said looking up at me and smiling sweetly as I walked to the fridge, leaned up against the door, and peered in. "Was that Bella at the door?" she said and I immediately turned to face her, a look of exasperation on my face. I scoffed. Did everyone know about this but me? I slammed the fridge shut and stomped off upstairs.

I passed Alice's door, glaring at it as I passed as if it had caused my anger. I could hear them talking and I sped up, pushed open my door, and slammed it behind me. I threw myself onto my sofa, laid my head on the armrest, and sighed loudly. This girl was absolutely going to be the death of me. She was so confusing and stubborn and beautiful and sweet. I growled. I began rubbing my eyes and running my hands down my face in frustration. She was so hard to read, I didn't know what to do.

I quickly sat up on the couch, running my fingers through my hair and stared out at the darkening sky. I grabbed my guitar from the corner and began strumming aimlessly. The notes calmed me with ever strum, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, letting the music seep into my very soul. I don't know what I would do without this guitar; it seemed to get me through most of the hard stuff.

It suddenly felt very hot in my room so I put the guitar back into the corner and walked to the French doors, opening them widely, letting the cool breeze float in with a big gush. I breathed in deeply the smell of the forest. For being a city guy, this wilderness was certainly starting to grow on me. I had almost forgotten what it was like to live in the big city.

I stood in doorway holding both doors open, eyes closed, taking in the piney smell wafting in through the door. I don't know if I could ever go back now, and maybe I wouldn't. I opened my eyes and walked over to the balcony, gripping the railing tightly, looking out over the trees. Peace, this is what I came for. I turned around, leaning against the railing and glanced over at the telescope that I had left from the night before.

I played the memory of last night in my head. Bella falling into my arms, me staring down at her perfect face, breathing in her usual flowery scent. I had memorized her face by now, the way her lips curled up when she smiled, the way her cheeks reddened when she blushed, her cute button nose, and best of all her big brown eyes, how they lit up whenever she saw me. There had to be something there, I just know it.

I heard a light tap on my door; I was not really in the mood to be bothered, especially if it was Esme questioning my behavior in the kitchen. I walked over to the door in a huff, defensive and ready to give whoever was at my door a nice earful. I yanked the door open, pissed beyond recognition and then I saw her. Bella was standing at my door looking radiant. I looked her up and down; I had never seen so much of her legs before, a tinge of lust hit me suddenly. I relaxed and swallowed the lump in my throat. I had never felt that way about her. This was a new feeling. I was suddenly nervous, looking at her long legs, her dark hair falling gracefully over her chest. She looked very different than she had when she arrived.

"Hey," she said in a small voice. I looked at her, confused. She wanted to be sweet and nice now? I sighed internally, I couldn't deny her and she must have known that. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I didn't say anything, for fear my voice my crack, and I opened the door so she could come in. I watched her walk slowly into the room, my eyes drifting to her legs, up to her butt, and then up to her back covered in a waterfall of dark curls. Damn it, she was so pretty. I shook my head to shake the thoughts away. _Pay attention Edward_, I said to myself.

I swiftly moved to the couch and sat down, frustrated as all hell. I sat on the edge of the couch, leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees, running my hands through my hair. She was driving me crazy. _Don't look at her, don't look at her_. _Think about something else, distract yourself, Grandma's underpants, Alice and Jasper making out, Rosalie, Jessica Stanley, _I immediately shuddered at the thought of Jessica. God that girl was disgusting, the way she looked at me, undressing me with her eyes.

"So talk," I said callously. I looked up at her trying to focus on just her eyes. _Focus_, I said to myself again.

"I just wanted to…I wanted to apologize for earlier." She looked at me pleadingly and I raised my brow at her. _She came to apologize? Good, she should be sorry!_ "Please don't make this harder on me than it already is. I am sorry." I leaned back, rested my arm on the back of the couch and looked out the window. I turned back to her and she looked at me, her bottom lip quivered slightly, and she fidgeted with her hands. I give up, I can't take this anymore, I can't see her in pain, I can't play this game anymore.

"Bella." I said rising from the couch. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to….to….play this game with you." My voice nearly cracked with emotion. I ran my fingers through my hair and I turned my back on her, glancing out the window. The sun was barely visible over the treetops. The sun was leaving me, I suddenly felt alone. I couldn't let Bella leave me too. I couldn't let my pride push people away. "Damn it, I just don't know how to do this." I was so frustrated, I growled internally. _Enough!_

I turned around and was in front of her in one swift movement. This was it; this was my chance, no more games, no more unspoken words. _Do it, _I urged myself silently. I grabbed her face, and kissed her as hard as I could manage. She was stiff, her lips unmoving, so I grabbed her waist and pulled her body into me. I grabbed the back of her neck and pushed her face closer to mine, not wanting the kiss to end. My heart pounded in my chest, my breathing increased and I could feel her heart pounding against my chest.

She reached her small hands up into my hair, wrapping her fingers around my hair, pulling slightly. I moaned internally and kissed her with more urgency. She definitely knew how to drive me insane and I bet she didn't even realize she was doing it. I slowed the kisses, wanting to see her face. _Had she liked it? Was she mad_? I looked down at her and she grinned smugly at me. She leaned up then and kissed me again, sucking on my bottom lip and then she bit it. _She bit me_! Her recent confidence surprised me. This time I gave her a smug grin. _Amazing, absolutely amazing_.

I leaned down and kissed her nose gently, lightening my grip from around her waist. She put her head on my chest and I was sure she could feel my heart still beating erratically in my chest. I closed my eyes, and took deep breaths to calm myself. My mind was spinning at what had just happened. _I just kissed Bella_. She leaned back, looking up into my eyes and I smiled so big it almost felt cheesy. I don't remember the last time I had been this happy.

I suddenly felt exhausted so I pulled her over onto the couch with me. I put my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled up under my arm like a little child. She pulled her legs in closer and sighed. She was so damn cute. I leaned my head on top of hers, closed my eyes, and ran my fingers through her curls, falling asleep.

-------

I woke up suddenly, and I looked down. It hadn't been a dream. Bella was asleep in my arms, snoring softly. I smiled to myself and snuggled into her. A small moan escaped her mouth as she snuggled back. I looked around the room and it was pitched black. I turned to my stereo and it was 2 am. I turned slowly on the couch, scooped her up in my arms and carried her to my bed. I set her down on top of the covers and she sighed deeply. I pulled the blanket around her and brushed her hair out of her face, she smiled. I grabbed a pillow, walked over to the couch and stretched myself out and went back to sleep.

------

I woke up to my hair being brushed out of my face. I opened my eyes and saw Bella sitting in front of the couch, smiling at me. She giggled when I smiled at her and I leaned over and kissed her cheek. I stretched my arms over my head, sat up and looked out the window. The sun still wasn't up yet and I yawned loudly. I threw my legs over the edge of the couch and Bella crawled slowly to me, kneeling in between my legs, resting her arms on my thighs, and looked up at me. She smiled at me the most perfect smile. I cupped her small face in my hand, slowly leaned forward, and kissed her gently on the lips.

She giggled at me and she placed her hand on top of my hand, leaning her cheek against my palm. A light tapping noise came from the door and it slowly opened. Every muscle in my body tightened and Bella turned her head quickly. Alice's head poked around the door, rubbing sleep out of her eye. I sighed and relaxed.

"I am sorry Edward," she said opening the door and coming into the room. "Esme is up and I don't want her to notice Bella missing," she said looking down at Bella. I got to my feet, reached down and offered my hand to Bella. She grabbed my hand and I pulled her up, wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her forehead. She blushed lightly, I released her from my grip and she slowly slipped out the door. Alice stopped and looked at me. I smiled at her and she giggled.

"You are happy!" she said running to me and wrapping her small arms around my waist. I hugged her back and she pulled away and looked up at my face. "Edward, I haven't seen you smile like that in years. You behave yourself!" she said poking me in the chest, a stern look on her face.

"Ouch!" I said rubbing the spot her finger had pierced.

"She is my best friend, Edward. You better be good to her," she said putting her hands on her hips. I nodded in agreement and she bounced out of the room quickly.

I would be good to her, better than anyone could be to a person. Better than I have been in the past. The self-hatred suddenly flowed back into my head, pushing aside my recent happiness. _No, I can't let the past effect the future_, I thought to myself. I went to my bed and plopped myself down, laying back and covering my eyes. I would not let my past discretions inhibit me from being happy now.

I turned to look at the clock and it was barely five. It was too late to go back to bed but to early to actually get up and do anything. I grabbed my towel and headed to the shower down the hall near Emmett's room. I closed the door quietly behind me, stood against the door, and sighed.

I walked over to the glass shower and turned the knob, the water flowing from the faucet, immediately creating steam. I undressed and stepped into the shower, leaning my shoulder up against the wall and let the water warm my body. I kept thinking of Bella and her cute little smile. I had to keep reminding myself that it would be ok with her. She would understand.

I got out and dried myself quickly. I wrapped the towel around my waist and sighed. The air in the bathroom was stifling and I couldn't breath. I opened the door widely letting the cool air rush into the bathroom, into my lungs. I stepped out into the hallway, and was suddenly shoved backwards. I figured it was Emmett coming out of his room being a jackass like usual and I turned to punch him in the arm, but it wasn't Emmett. My eyes widened as I looked down and saw Rosalie. She closed Emmett's door slowly behind her and looked up at me like a deer in headlights. She bit her bottom lip and looked down.

"Rosalie, what are you doing here? How did you get in here?" I hissed.

"Shhh, Edward!" She said bringing her finger to her lips. She looked down at my bare chest. I crossed my arms in front of my chest self-consciously and scowled at her. The look on her face was very displeasing. She was enjoying it.

"Rosalie, how did you get in here?" I asked her again, this time more irritation in my voice. She smirked up at me, tilted her head every so slightly, and batted her eyelashes. I shook my head at her attempt to flirt with me.

"Emmett let me in last night," she said sweetly. "I was just on my way out."

"Well you better hurry up because Esme is walking around and I am notgoing to get in trouble for this." I snarled at her. She winced at my words and she hurried by me, purposely brushing up against my arm. She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to look at me.

"Bye Edward," she said with a small wave and she descended the stairs, her perfume lingering in the hallway. I rolled my eyes and turned to glare at Emmett's door. He had better not get us in trouble with sneaking her in. I walked back to my room and slipped inside, closing the door quietly behind me.

The little demon must not be awake yet, at least I couldn't hear her if she was. I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of black pants and an olive green short sleeve button up shirt. I hoped to God that Rosalie had made it out undetected. That was all I really needed. I opened my door and went down stairs to the second level where Carlisle and Esme's room was. I stopped in the hallway and heard voices whispering. I heard the voices come from around the corner and I walked slowly toward them, slowly passing the office. I couldn't make out the voices, but they were two females.

I rounded to corner to Esme's room and saw Rosalie with her back to me, talking to Esme, an uneasy look on her face. I cursed to myself; I can't believe this was happening right now. _We are so busted! Damn it, Emmett! _I stepped closer to hear what they were saying and Esme looked up and saw me, a horrified expression crossed her face. Rosalie turned around and I was horrified. My breathing hitched, my heart pounded and my eyes shifted between the two sets of the identical blue-eyes. My mouth dropped open and I looked up at Esme helplessly and then darted my eyes to Rosalie, tears streamed down her face as she held the baby in her arms.

Esme reached her hand out to me but I couldn't move, I was stuck. I blinked my eyes, wishing the image I was seeing away. It was not working. I shook my head and stepped back quickly, waving my hands in the air.

"No, No, No No." I said quietly, backing away from them. Esme stepped closer and grabbed my wrist.

"Edward, look at me," she whispered, grabbing my other wrist and pulling me toward her. I was still looking at the baby. She grabbed my face with her hands, forcing me to look at her. I started shaking. I looked up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes. Bella was upstairs and she was awake. _What in the hell am I going to do_? I started to panic; I wanted Rosalie out of this house immediately. Bella couldn't find out like this. I pulled my face from Esme's grip.

"Get out, Rosalie." I said glaring at her. She looked down at the child who was clinging to her neck, suddenly afraid. She kissed the baby's forehead gently and backed away.

"No Edward. This is our daughter," she whispered brushing Emmilie's hair out of her face. Emmilie began to whine.

"I want you out," I hissed.

"Rosalie, Edward, I think we need to take this into the office," she said nodded to the door on the far left. She grabbed the baby from Rosalie and led us into the office. I sat down in the chair in front of the large desk, Rosalie took the couch on the far wall, and Esme sat in the large leather chair behind the desk.

"Esme, I think it is best for all parties involved if she did not have any contact with the child," I said harshly. She looked over at Rosalie, who started to sob softly. I turned and saw Rosalie, her face in her hands, crying. I sighed.

The door opened and I stiffened in my chair. Carlisle peered his head around the corner. He looked over at Esme, then to Rosalie, and then me sitting in the chair. He must have heard us in the hall. He stepped inside the office and closed the door. He patted my shoulder gently, went, and stood behind the desk next to Esme.

"I can see what is going on here," he said in his normal fatherly tone. "Rosalie, I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I realize you didn't know we had adopted Emmilie but it was in the best interest of this family to take care of our own, and Emmilie, after all, is our own," he said looking at me. My mistake, my freaking stupid ass mistake and now Carlisle and Esme were paying for it, and quite literally.

"Dr. Cullen…." Rosalie sobbed.

"Please call me Carlisle," he said gently.

"I….I have not seen Emmilie since she was born, but the second I saw her face I knew she was my daughter. I didn't want to give her away, I loved her, I mean I still love her. I can't take care of a child on my own. I want to be a part of her life and watch her grow up," she said shifting her gaze to me.

"I understand that, believe me I do, and I respect your decision to give the child up, but you have to understand what this might do to her psyche. She will be confused by the whole situation. Right now, she is but a young child, but the older she gets she will start to notice things. It is in the best interest of the child that she stays in our care, in our home, and for us to be her parents," he said resting his hand on Esme's shoulder as she bounced the baby on her knee.

Rosalie cried a little harder this time. I suddenly felt bad. I ruined her life and I couldn't fix this. She would have to carry this around with her for the rest of her life, knowing that she gave up a child, our child. Our child. This was my child and I was a father. A sudden rush of emotions crashed down on me, my eyes welled up with tears. I was scared, hurt, and sad. I didn't know what to do. I looked to Carlisle for guidance. He walked over to me and put his arms around my shoulder and hugged me tightly, then walked over to Rosalie, and sat next to her on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her slumped shoulders.

"Dr. Cullen, I know….I know you are right…it just hurts so much," she said looking up at the baby. He rubbed her shoulder soothingly and she leaned her head on his shoulder, tears falling onto his shirt, dark spots appearing. I leaned forward resting my elbows on my knees, and I rubbed my hands through my hair.

"Rosalie, please understand when I say I need this to stay quiet," I said looking at her from under my messy hair. She lifted her head and looked at me, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She wiped her face and sniffled, nodding gently. I sighed. She would cooperate. Carlisle rose, crossed the room, and stood behind Esme again.

"Rosalie, that doesn't mean you can not see Emmilie. You are more than welcome to come and visit her. We will continue to raise her like our own, and when she is older and can understand the situation better, we will tell her the truth. In exchange for this, Edward, Esme and I, would like you to please be discrete about the whole situation." Rosalie nodded at the conditions.

She rose to her feet and walked to the door, Carlisle following her, opening the door and leading her out. Esme sat in the chair, Emmilie leaning against her chest sucking her thumb. I suddenly burst into tears and dropped to the floor, my head in my hands. _I was so horrible, how could I have done this? _Esme came to my side and put her hand on my head. I lifted my head and looked at her, and she put her arm around me and pulled me close, this time I soaked her shirt with tears.

I turned my head on Esme's shoulder and saw Rosalie's blue eyes staring back at me through Emmilie. She looked so much like Rosalie. She sucked her thumb quietly, lifted her tiny hand, and placed it on my cheek. She was so small and innocent. I grabbed her hand and she wrapped her little hand around my finger and shook it back and forth. She smiled widely, drool dripping out of her mouth. I looked at her little fingers, her little hands, she was so perfect, and I smiled back at her.

My heart began to expand with love for this child. My child. I sighed quietly to myself, repeating those words over and over. She was my child. I thought about Rosalie and how much I despised her. I smiled again at Emmilie. How could I love someone I had only known for a week? How could I love someone that looked like the person I hated so much?

I sat on the floor, head rested on Esme's shoulder. She patted my head gently as I stared at Emmilie. Carlisle came into the office, looked down at us, and smiled. I sat up quickly, got to my feet, and wiped my face. Carlisle hugged me tightly.

"It will be ok, Edward. I promise. We will take care of this." I nodded. I wanted to believe him, and I hoped it would be ok, because that is what I needed; I needed this to be ok, to be ok with Bella.

I walked to the bathroom across the hall from the study and closed the door. I looked in the mirror, my eyes slightly pink from crying. I splashed my face with cold water and dried it quickly. I took a deep breath. I couldn't set anyone off about my crying, especially Alice. I forced a smile as I looked in the mirror one last time.

I stepped out into the hall just as Alice and Bella were coming down the stairs. Bella was dressed in pajamas, which I assumed Alice had put her in to make sure Esme and Carlisle had no idea she had been sleeping in my bed all night. She paused in the hallway and looked at me, her big brown eyes lit up. I watched them disappear down the stairs as Carlisle and Esme walked out of the office. I sighed heavily and they followed me down the hall and down the stairs into the living room.

The girls were sprawled out over the couch, giggling at something on the TV. Esme set Emmilie down in a playpen near the couch, kissing her gentling on the forehead and walking into the kitchen with Carlisle. I walked to the couch and plopped myself down in between them and they both giggled loudly.

I looked up at the TV and realized they were watching cartoons. I rolled my eyes. I tried to concentrate on the TV, trying to get my mind off what had just happened. I stared at the moving objects on the screen, not really focusing. My ears started ringing; I couldn't hear anything but my heart beating quickly. Alice was talking but I couldn't quite understand what she was saying, the ringing in my ears drowning her voice out. I wanted to hold Bella, to touch her and have her tell me everything would be all right.

I turned to look at Bella, and she looked at me with a big grin on her face, her brown eyes sparkling. She looked so happy, so jovial; I didn't want to ruin this. The look on her face made my heart flutter. I grabbed her hand in her lap and laid it down between us, squeezing it gently. I didn't want this to end, the way I felt about her and the way she felt about me. She had no idea that what I had to tell her would change not only her world, but also my whole family's world dramatically.

**Bella**

I woke up and opened my eyes, everything still blurry. I stretched, rubbed my eyes and looked around. I smiled, realizing I was in Edward's room, in Edward's bed. I sighed and rolled over onto my back. I sat up and looked over at the couch where he was sprawled out. I giggled quietly to myself.

I quickly jumped down from the bed and tiptoed over to the sleeping Edward. I knelt in front of the couch quietly and stared at him. He looked angelic. I slowly brought my hand to his face, gently brushing his messy hair out of his face. He stirred slightly, opened his eyes and blinked. I smiled at him and he smiled back, making me giggle wildly. He leaned forward and brought his warm lips to my cheek; I closed my eyes and sighed internally. He stretched, sat up and yawned loudly. I felt like I was in a dream.

He touched his feet to the floor and I brought myself in between his legs and looked up at him, still smiling. He cupped my face in his hands; I closed my eyes and waited for my kiss. He edged slowly to my face, bringing his lips to mine, kissing them sweetly. He pulled away slowly and I giggled. He was so sweet to me. I grabbed his hand and leaned into it. I reveled in his sweet touch.

I heard a knock on the door behind me and I suddenly froze. I turned my head and saw Alice's head poke around the corner of the door. I sighed, released the breath I didn't realized that I had been holding. It was only Alice.

"I am sorry Edward," she said coming into the room. "Esme is up and I don't want her to notice Bella missing," she looked down at me. Edward got to his feet and pulled me up next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead, the heat from his lips lingering, and I blushed. I hurried off out the door and tiptoed back into Alice's room. I ran to her bed and threw myself down, face first.

I screamed into the soft mattress, beating my fists against the comforter. I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. Alice bounced into the room and closed the door behind me. I stood up and she hugged me tightly, bouncing up and down.

"So…Tell me EVERYTHING that happened," she said grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed. I looked down embarrassed and blushed.

"Nothing happened really." I said shrugging.

"Bella, you were in there all night, don't say nothing happened." She said crossing her arms and scowling at me. I huffed in denial but I gave in.

"Well, when I went in there last night he started yelling at me after I apologized and then he kissed me." I said raising my eyebrow in anticipation of her reaction. She furrowed her brow and looked at me with disbelief.

"Wait, what? He yelled at you then kissed you?" she said questioningly. I nodded and she started laughing. "Oh my God, he is so weird." she said, I hit her arm and scowled at her.

"Alice, that is not nice!" I said and she rubbed her arm. I daydreamed about the kiss again and smiled widely.

"Bella, that is my cousin you are talking about," she said repulsively, turning her nose up. I laughed at her and pushed her lightly again. "We better get you out of those clothes and something more suitable for bed," she said grabbing my hand, pulling me into the closet.

She grabbed a pair of pajamas and threw them at me. I looked at her confused.

"Alice, I am not going back to bed. Why do I need pajamas?" I said looking down at the pajamas.

"Bella, if Esme sees that you aren't in pajamas she is going to get suspicious." I nodded my head in agreement. I slipped out of my shorts and shirt and changed into the pajamas.

I ran back to the bed where Alice was sitting crossed legged and jumped on it. We giggled at each other and she turned me around with my back to her. She brushed my hair out and began braiding it down my back.

"So like are you guys…together?" she asked. I shrugged slightly.

"I don't know, Alice. We didn't really talk about it. I want to say yes but I don't to jump to conclusions." She nodded.

"Good idea. You have to talk about that. I mean, it can't just be up in the air like that."

"I know that, but I can't just say that to him, you know? What if he doesn't want to be with me?" I said biting my nails nervously.

"If he didn't then why would he want to kiss you?"

"I don't know. It's not like he couldn't have anyone he wanted," I said, doubting myself.

"Maybe he has who he wants," she said leaning forward and smiling at me. I rolled my eyes and she tugged on my hair gently. "Trust me Bella, Edward is not the hit it and quit it type. He has too much of a conscious for that. One time when we were little, he stole a piece of candy from the store because Emmett dared him too. He felt so bad he went and paid for it before we left. I told you, Edward is unusually weird, but not really…in a bad way."

We talked for a while before we heard voices downstairs. My stomach started to rumble and Alice jumped off the bed quickly and rubbed her stomach as if on cue. I laughed at her and she ran into the bathroom, I following behind her. We brushed our teeth quickly and descended the stair to the second floor. I saw Edward standing in the hallway looking oddly uneasy. I smiled at him and he smiled back, but not the familiar happy smile, this one looked force. _What was wrong_? Alice grabbed my hand as I paused in the hall and led me down the second set of stairs into the living room. I plopped down on the couch next to her and she turned the TV on.

She had changed the channel to cartoons and we giggled at each other amused. I hadn't watched cartoons on a Saturday morning since I was little. My mom used to wake me up early and make me pancakes. I missed those days. Edward came trudging the stairs, Esme and Carlisle following close behind him. Esme was holding Emmilie who was sucking her thumb and making silly noises to herself. She was so sweet. I looked up at Edward and another forced smile. He sat down in between us and laid his feet on the ottoman.

I looked out of the corner of my eye and he was staring at the TV. Alice said something to me about the cartoons and I giggled back. _Had I done something wrong this morning_? I bit my lip in contemplation. I played this morning over in my head, wondering if maybe Alice had something when she was in the room with him.

I wrung my hands nervously in my lap. He turned his head, looked at me and smiled. I smiled back at him remembering the kiss he gave me this morning. He grabbed my hand from my lap, set it in between us and he squeezed it tightly. I sighed internally. _Ok so he wasn't upset with me at least_. My stress began to fade as I held his warm hand, the only verification he had given me that it wasn't something I had done.

Esme called to us from the kitchen, Alice and I skipped to the kitchen. I sat at the table in front of an empty plate across from Alice. Esme brought a plate full of pancakes in and set it in the middle of the table. My eyes widened at the sight of the tall pancakes, Mickey Mouse pancakes to be exact, my mouth watering. She came back to the table with two more plates, this time eggs on one and sausage on the other. I inhaled deeply the delicious smell of the food. I don't remember the last time I had food that I hadn't personally cooked.

Emmett barreled into the kitchen and took a seat next to Alice. Alice gave him a disgusted look as he grabbed his fork and began piling pancakes onto his plate. She scoffed loudly and I giggled. Edward finally had come into the kitchen, hovering in the doorway. Esme grabbed his arm lightly and led him to the table. He took the chair next to me and sat down roughly. He sighed loudly.

"Edward, you really need to liven up here a bit," she said tossing a pancake onto her plate. He nodded and smiled.

"Sorry guys, just had a rough morning," I looked up at him and he gave me a smile, this time it was real. Esme and Carlisle had taken their seats at the ends of the table. I sat quietly, eating my pancakes and sausage as Alice and Emmett talked about what they were going to do for summer vacation. I really started to miss my mother. Every summer we would go camping in Canada after school was over. We stayed for a couple days in the wilderness, hiking and fishing, just having fun.

"So Bella, do you have any plans for the summer?" Esme said suddenly and I lifted my head and looked at her.

"Well, not that I know of. We used to have an annual summer trip, but I don't know if my dad is going to do it this year. Before my mom died we would all go camping in Canada for a couple days. We always had so much fun." I said shoving pieces of pancake into my mouth, chewing slowly.

"That actually sounds like a good idea," Carlisle nodded. "We should have a family camping trip." Alice groaned loudly.

"Now Alice, I think this would be a great idea," Esme said playing with the chain around her neck.

"Mom, being around no one but these two boneheads for days will kill me. Wait, what if Bella comes?" she said excitedly. My head immediately shot up from my plate, looking at Alice.

"Well, I suppose if Charlie says it is all right, then I don't see any reason why she can't come with us," she said looking up at Carlisle.

"I think that would be a great idea," Carlisle said.

"Could Jasper and Rosalie come along," Emmett interjected. Edward twitched suddenly and I turned to look at him. He lifted his head to Carlisle.

"Well…" Carlisle said shifting his gaze from Edward's eyes to Emmett. "That is something you may need to discuss with them don't you think?" he said biting into a piece of bacon.

"They will go, I know it," Emmett said his mouth full of eggs.

"Speaking of Rosalie," Carlisle said clearing his throat. "Emmett, Esme found Rosalie in the hallway this morning." Emmett looked at Carlisle and swallowed his food quickly. "You know the rules about that; she is not to be here after hours." Emmett hung his head.

"Nothing happened, Carlisle. She was just home alone and she didn't want to be home. Jasper and her parents went out of town. I won't let it happen again, I am sorry," he said apologetically and Carlisle nodded.

"Thank you Emmett, I appreciate it. I know we are not your parents but there are still rules and I expect both of you both follow them," he said nodding to Edward.

I suddenly felt bad. Emmett had gotten in trouble for having Rose over and yet I was asleep in Edward's room all night long. I didn't want to go behind their backs like this. I couldn't really say anything either because I wasn't even sure if there was anything going on between us. I needed to know how he felt about me and if this was more than just a simple kiss. I decided I would ask him tonight after everyone went to bed. Alice would cover for me while I slept with him.

We continued breakfast making plans for the camping trip in June after school. Emmett would be going away to school in the fall with Jasper and Rosalie. Emmett talked about the schools he had been accepted to but wasn't sure because Rosalie hadn't made her decisions. I think I would Emmett and his quirky sense of humor. He always made me laugh. He was like the big brother I never had.

We finished breakfast, we all carried our plates to the sink, and Alice and I went back to the living room to finish watching cartoons. I watched baby Emmilie as she played in her playpen quietly with a small doll that she threw around happily. I heard Esme in the kitchen clanking the dishes in the sink, loading them into the dishwasher. I got up to go to the bathroom and saw Edward and Carlisle in the hallway, Edward in a very defensive stance, a scowl on his face. Carlisle was standing in front of Edward with his brows furrowed speaking in a stern, but quiet voice. I walked slowly towards the bathroom, trying not to interrupt but Edward looked up and saw me, his face suddenly changing.

"Hi Bella," he said smiling at me. I smiled cautiously and Carlisle smiled as well, patting Edward on the back and leading him out of the hallway. What were they arguing over? More secrets to deal with. I sighed. Something was going on around here and I was going to get to the bottom of it, no matter what it took.

**A/N: There it is....the moment of truth! By the way, thanks for the continuing support from you guys! It is so greatly appreciated. I love all the feedback you guys are giving me. Let me know what you think! **

**I heart reviews!!!**

**I won't be writing for a while as I have school, yes I know I left off at a horrible place but I am UBER busy. Maybe if I get more reviews, I will find the time to write.**


	10. Breakfast at Tiffany's

**A/N: I am sorry this chapter took longer than I expected. I've been super busy but I hope you all like. I am almost half way finished with chapter 11 so you won't have to wait as long for the next one!**

**Chapter 10**

**Bella**

I called Charlie after breakfast and let him know I would be staying over one more night, and he happily agreed considering it was Spring Break and I hardly did anything anyways. I talked to Alice about my plans for tonight, and she agreed to help me with them. She knew as well as I did that I needed to know what was going on with Edward.

For most of the afternoon, we hung out in her room, watching movies, lip-syncing to old songs, dancing around the room in our underwear. I liked spending time with Alice, and I was in debt to her for what she had done for me. I don't know where I would be if she hadn't been there for me when my mom died. She always knew how to cheer me up and make things right. I loved her and she was like my sister, well as close as I could get to having one.

I watched her dance around the room, hairbrush in hand, singing into it as if it was a microphone. She was singing along to "Brown-Eyed Girl" in front of her wall of mirrors. I couldn't help but laugh at her. She was hilarious. I got up and joined here in the mirror, turning around and shaking my butt in the mirror. We laughed so hard that we fell to the floor, rolling around. I wiped my eyes as the tears streamed down my face from laughing so hard.

We heard a knock on the door and looked at each other. Alice got up, turned down the stereo, and opened the door slowly, peering around the edge of the door. She opened the door widely and Esme entered the room with a tray in hand. She set the tray down on the desk, turned, and smiled at both of us.

"I thought you girls might be hungry, so I made you two some sandwiches," she said heading back towards the door.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Cullen. It's really nice of you," I said getting to my feet.

"Please Bella, call me Esme," she said smiling sweetly at me and I nodded. She grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open wider. "You girls have fun," she said slipping out the door.

I ran to the desk and looked down at the tray. She made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a big bowl of grapes. I grabbed some grapes from the bowl and threw them one at a time into my mouth. Alice came to my side, grabbed half of her sandwich, and took a big bite. She smiled at me, chewing happily. We sat on the floor and ate lunch together, turning on the TV again to watch a soap opera.

"So that tall guy with the blue shirt on, that is Dylan. Now he is in love with the blonde girl that is Erica. They have been seeing each other secretly for months, so Erica's husband wouldn't find out," she said tossing a grape into her mouth and I nodded at her and smirked. She really needed to stop watching this garbage.

"Alice, why do you watch this crap?" I said biting into my sandwich, chewing vigorously.

"Bella, this is quality television," she said, mouth full, and pointing her half-eaten sandwich at the TV. "Oh OH! This is the good part," she said wiggling in her spot. I rolled my eyes at her and laughed. I finished my sandwich, brushed my hands off and got to my feet. Alice looked up at me and cocked her head to the side.

"I need a shower, Alice." I lifted my arm and sniffed. "If I have to see Edward tonight I really need to shower." She giggled at me and I stepped over her small body sprawled out on the floor and stepped into the bathroom.

The bathroom was dark despite the overhead lights that were on. I stepped over to the window and looked outside; the sun was hiding behind the clouds that were beating raindrops onto the window. I went to the shower and turned it on and let the water run until it warmed. The bathroom filled with steam so I quickly undressed and slipped into the shower.

I tilted my head up, closed my eyes and rubbed my face mercilessly trying to rub away all doubt of what I was going to do tonight. The very thought of doing it made my knees shake. I sighed as I picked up the shampoo and poured it into my hand. The smell wafted up my nose and I inhaled deeply. Oh how I loved that shampoo. I worked the shampoo into my hair until it was lathered thoroughly. I rinsed my hair, washed my body slowly, and worked in the conditioner, letting that sit for a couple minutes before rinsing it out. I grabbed my towel, wrapped my hair up quickly, and then wrapped another towel around my body.

The bathroom was warm as I stepped down onto the white bath mat and I rubbed myself dry. The rain was still coming down in sheets as I turned towards the window. I walked over to the mirror, gently wiping away the steam and looking myself over. I looked into my dark eyes and nodded. I could do this; I could ask Edward what was going on. What was the big deal, I mean I had already kissed him. What was the worst that can happen?

I opened the door to the bedroom, Alice was lying on her side, her head propped up on her hand and watching TV. I stepped over her and into the closet, rummaging through tons and tons of clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. I decided casual would be best so I grabbed the rattiest pair of jeans Alice had. They were light jeans with a hole in the right knee. I threw them onto the bench, searching for an appropriate shirt. Most of her shirts were frilly and overly girly shirts, excessively dressy for the occasion. I grabbed a green polo shirt from the rack, throwing it next to the pair of jeans. I went and grabbed my bag that was lying near the foot of Alice's bed and brought it into the closet. I pulled the garments out of the bag until I found what I had wanted. I pulled out my bra and panties, slipping them on quickly before pulling on the jeans and shirt. I stepped over Alice, who was engrossed in her soap opera, back to the bathroom, combing out my hair. I tied my hair up into a quick ponytail. I looked in the mirror, satisfied. I leapt out of the bathroom, sat down next to Alice, and pushed her gently.

"So, what should I do?" I said nudging her again when she didn't respond to me the first time.

"Well, I guess I could distract Mom and Dad after dinner. Let's just play it by ear," she said still staring at the TV. We sat in front of the TV and finished watching the soap opera before Alice's eyes finally drifted to my face. Her eyes widened suddenly and she grabbed my hand.

"I am going to have us watch a movie in the den and we can invite Edward and halfway through the movie I will get up and go to the bathroom. Mom and Dad will never bother us in there." I nodded in excitement, this idea might just work I just hope I was ready for the moment.

--------

I followed Alice down the stairs and into the den with the large TV. I plopped myself down onto the large soft couch and snuggled myself deep into the cushions. I grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it to my chest. Alice sat down next to me and she turned on the TV, flipping through tons of channels. I sighed impatiently and waited for Edward to bring in the movie of his choice. I hadn't seen him all day except for this morning and I was nervous. I stared at the clock and watched as ten, fifteen, twenty minutes passed and still no Edward.

Alice folded her arms across her chest and huffed. The waiting was killing us both. I pulled my feet up to rest on the ottoman and leaned my head on Alice's shoulder. I was staring at the TV, thinking of what I was going to say when the door to the den opened and Edward stepped into the room carrying a DVD.

"Sorry guys, I was talking to Esme about um, something," he said darting his eyes nervously around the room. I turned back towards the TV and waited as he pulled the DVD from its case and put it into the DVD player. He sat next to me, a foot away and his scent made me dizzy. My heart pounded wildly in my chest and I breathed in deeply trying to calm myself.

Alice grabbed the remote and the movie started, previews flashed across the screen. I tried to focus but scenarios ran through my head, what was I going to say, what was he going to say. I shifted nervously in my seat, and the movie started. He had chosen what looked like to be an old James Bond movie. I wasn't too fond of James Bond myself but at least I knew what he liked now. Sean Connery walked across the screen in his black tuxedo and Alice sighed. I turned to look at her and she was scowling. I giggled to myself quietly as we watched the movie.

Alice got up nearly thirty minutes into the movie, stomping in front of us. Edward watched her, a befuddled look on his face. She closed the door behind her and he turned to me quickly and looked at me. I smiled nervously and shrugged my shoulders.

"Where is she going?" he asked me.

"Maybe she has to go to the bathroom, or maybe she really hates this movie?" I said turning back to the movie. He stared at me for a moment before turning back to the movie as well. My mind raced with thoughts and words, I couldn't think straight. I tried to focus back on the movie but his fingers brushed my hand as he ran them along the crevice that separated the couch cushions. I faced forward trying not to look at him, every touch made me shake. I pulled my hand into my lap and breathed slowly. We sat in silence for a while before he spoke again.

"Bella," he said turning to me.

"Yes?" I said, never moving. He leaned in closer to me trying to get my attention.

"Will you look at me a minute?" he said waving his hand in front of my face. I turned to look at him, a frown spread across his beautiful lips. It nearly broke my heart. A piece of hair fell across his face and my hand twitched, I wanted to push it away. He ran his fingers through his hair again and looked away.

"What is it, Edward?" I said softening my expression. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down for a minute. He turned his face back towards the movie and sat silently. I reached out and touched his arm and he jumped at my touch. He turned and looked at me but said nothing.

"Edward, I think we need to talk," I said looking down at my hands. I felt his hand lift my chin, our eyes meeting, and his emerald green eyes danced in the dim light of the TV.

"I know, we do need to talk," he said pulling back and running his hands through his hair again. He sighed deeply and rested his head against the back of the couch.

"Well I guess I just really…what I mean is I am not sure…" I stopped suddenly and sighed. This was going to be more difficult than I had originally expected. He turned to face me again, grabbing my hand in his and squeezing it gently.

"Bella, I like spending time with you, " he hesitated for a moment then continued. "I like being with you a lot. I know its kind of soon and I am not sure how you feel but…" he said trailing off, he looked down. I furrowed my brow at his statement. He had been thinking about it too. I felt my cheeks redden and my heart beat quickly. He looked up at me and suddenly frowned.

"Edward, I don't know what to say," I finally managed. He stared at me for a while and then turned back to the TV, releasing my hand.

"Look, Bella, if you don't feel the same way, it's ok. I understand, I just thought…"

"No, Edward, it's not like that. I…I really am just surprise." This wasn't going the way I planned. What do I say? Hurry! Think! "I feel the same way," I said quickly. He turned to me, smiled, and brushed the back of his hand across my cheek.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side and I snuggled into him. I finished watching the movie with Edward when the door opened and Alice stepped inside. She stood in front of us a big grin on her face when she saw us cuddling.

"Awwww! Aren't you guys the cutest?" she said bouncing. I rolled my eyes at her and she jumped down next to me.

"Alice you wouldn't by chance have planned that?" Edward said looking at her, raising his eyebrow. She giggled and covered her mouth.

"Well whatever gave you that idea, dear cousin?" she said sarcastically. He looked down at me and smiled. I loved that smile.

"So when's the wedding?" Alice chuckled. I looked at her shocked, my cheeks reddening.

"ALICE!" I hissed, pushing her over. I turned to look at Edward who was just sitting there smiling. He leaned down and kissed my nose.

"No worries, Bella. She is my cousin and I am completely aware of what she is capable of doing. If she had it her way, she would be planning our wedding already," he said pulling me closer into him.

Alice put in another movie. Breakfast at Tiffany's was finally something I liked. Edward scoffed at the movie but he sat and watched silently next to me. Alice lay on the couch, her feet in my lap. I was happy, happier than I had been since…since before my mom had died. The movie finished, I stretched and noticed Alice was snoring quietly on the couch. I laughed at the sight of her sprawled out on the couch, snoring quietly. Edward got to his feet and picked Alice up in his arms.

I followed behind him as he carried her up the stairs. All the lights in the house were off so Esme and Carlisle must have gone to bed. He waited in the hallway for me to open her door, and he followed me in and laid Alice on the bed. She was so cute and innocent when she was asleep. That changed once she was conscious though.

He stood in front of me and I shifted my weight nervously back and forth on my feet. I looked up at him and he was looking at Alice, smiling. She rolled over onto her stomach and snorted loudly. He chuckled quietly and looked at me.

"I guess I better get to bed," he said looking at the floor. A sudden rush of confidence filled me; I grabbed his hand and walked towards the door. He looked up at me, mystified. I smiled at him and led him out into the hallway. I turned to look at him as I opened his door, and he smiled widely.

I pulled us into his room, closing the door, and turned to look at him. I turned off the lights and slowly made my way to his bed, crawling underneath the covers. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched me as I snuggled down into the bed. I couldn't see his face but I was sure he was smiling. He made his way to the bed and crawled in beside me, lying face to face with me.

"Hi," he said quietly, bringing his hand up to touch my cheek. I leaned in and kissed his lips gently, a small moan escaping his mouth as I pulled away.

"Edward?" I whispered, and he ran his fingers along my cheek and down to my neck.

"Hmmm?" he answered tracing my jawbone with his fingers.

"Are you happy?" I whispered again and he leaned over and kissed my jawbone, his warm breath on my neck.

"I am happier than you know," he whispered back to me, looking me in the eye. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I buried my head into his neck and breathed him in. I hummed softly as he ran his fingers through my hair softly, and I closed my eyes. He pulled me to him even closer, our bodies pressed up against each other and I relaxed into him and molded myself to his body. I heard his breathing get heavier and I realized he had fallen asleep. I lay there thinking and listening to his breathing as it lulled me to sleep soon after.

-----

I woke the next morning to a small kiss on my forehead. I could feel his warm breath washing over my face and I smiled. I pulled back and opened my eyes slowly, looking into his beautiful eyes. He smiled widely at me and kissed my forehead again. The room was still dark, the sun not yet up.

"Morning Sunshine," he said as I stretched my arms over my head and rolled over onto my back, yawning noiselessly. "You better get into Alice's room before anyone wakes up," he said poking my side and I cringed back, giggling. I sat up quickly and looked around the still dark room. I sighed. I didn't want to leave.

I slid myself off my side of the bed and walked towards the door. He crawled towards the foot of the bed and grabbed my arm, yanking me back towards the bed. He pulled me towards him, grabbing my face, and kissing my lips. He let go after a minute and I walked backwards towards the door, the whole time my eyes on him. I opened the door, backed out and closed it quietly. I tiptoed back into Alice's room where she was still asleep on the bed and slid into bed next to her.

I fell back asleep for what felt like 5 minutes before I heard Alice singing in the shower loudly. I groaned, rolled over onto my side, and covered my face with a pillow. The sun was shining brightly into the bedroom and reflecting off the mirror right into my eyes. I heard Alice come out into the bedroom and walk into her closet, humming some song merrily. I could ring that girl's neck for being so upbeat in the mornings. I was definitely not a morning person and it showed badly.

The pillow was suddenly pulled off my face and Alice was standing over me smiling. Her cheer made me want to gag. I grabbed the pillow next to me and shoved it over my face, holding it down so she couldn't pull it away. I heard her whine and stomp her foot. I laughed into the pillow and rolled onto my stomach. I lifted my head and looked at the clock on the side table. It was barely eight.

I groaned loudly and sat up in bed, my hair falling into my face. I pushed my hair out of my face and dangled my feet off the side of the bed. Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed; I stumbled for a moment and caught my balance. I put my hands on me knees and looked down at the floor.

"Bella, are you hungry?" she said leaning down to look me in the face. I sighed loudly and stood upright.

"Yes I am." I said finally after a moment.

"So what happened last night?" she said ruffling her short wet hair.

"Well, you fell asleep in the den and Edward carried you up to bed. You past out so quick." I giggled. She folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. "Ok, ok. So we had a talk…sort of. We feel the same way about each other." Alice bounced up in down and hugged me so tight I could barely breath.

"Ohhhh Bella! I am so happy for you! I better be your bridesmaid if you guys get married!" she giggled.

"Oh please Alice, there will definitely be none of that any time soon," I said smiling. I couldn't help but think about that option. The thought of Edward and I getting married made me giggle. She hugged me again tightly and we both laughed.

She let go of me, walked to the door and I followed behind her. We walked out into the hallway just as Edward walked clumsily from his room. He smiled at me and walked fell into step with me as Alice led the way. I bumped into him playfully as he yawned and he grabbed my hand. He pulled our hands up to his face and kissed the back of my hand gently. I heard Esme and I let go of his hand quickly as she came around the corner of the hall.

"Hi kids," she said brushing her dark hair back. She tightened her bathrobe around her waist and put her arm around my shoulders. Edward walked ahead of us and I walked down the stairs with Esme. She asked me what I wanted for breakfast but I told her I wasn't hungry.

We walked into the kitchen and I grabbed an apple off the counter and bit into it. I watched Alice and Edward pull out bowls and boxes of cereal. I followed them to the table, sitting in between them and we began to talk about school tomorrow. Carlisle came into the kitchen holding Emmilie who was giggling. Esme took the baby from him and cuddled her into her chest. Esme was such a good mother. I turned back to Alice and Edward who were still talking.

Emmett came running into the kitchen, sliding to the fridge nearly running into Carlisle. We all laughed at him as he grabbed some leftover pizza, threw it on a napkin and ran over to the table to sit next to us. I smiled at Emmett as he began talking about Rose.

"So…I asked Rose and Jasper to come with us this summer," he said in between bites. Edward quickly looked up at Emmett and chewed his food.

"So what did they say?" Alice asked excitedly, scooping cereal into her mouth. Emmett said something but I couldn't make it out with all the food in his mouth. "Emmett, wait until you swallow your food before you talk."

"I said…"he gulped down the rest of his food. "…that Jasper wasn't sure he wanted to go but Rose was excited. Rose convinced Jasper to go so…looks like they will be going," he said taking another bite of pizza. Edward's jaw tightened slightly as he stopped chewing. I think the weirdness between him and Jasper was the reason he was acting funny, maybe he didn't want Jasper to go.

"Oh, Jasper will go, trust me," she said, kicking me under the table. She giggled and Edward looked at her and rolled his eyes.

After breakfast, we went back up stairs and I changed into my normal clothes. I decided I had better get home before Charlie burned down the house so I packed my stuff up. I brushed my teeth quickly and packed my toothbrush into my bag that was on the bed.

"I really wish you could stay again, Bella," Alice pouted, lying on her stomach on the bed. I smiled at her and sighed.

"I know, I wish I could stay too but school is tomorrow," I said rolling my eyes. She scoffed and rolled over onto her back, swinging her legs in the air above her. I finished shoving my clothes back into the bag and I sat on the bed next to her.

"I am really excited about this camping trip this summer. I am glad you are going with," she said rolling back onto her stomach.

"Yeah, I am too. I really like hanging out with your family, Alice. It makes me feel better since I hardly have one." She smiled at me and patting my thigh.

"I am glad you are coming, I really do not want to spend all my time alone with Emmett and Edward. A week alone with them both and I will go insane!" she said putting her face in her hands. She jumped off the bed and I followed her down the stairs. We stepped into the living room, Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the couch and Emmett was on the floor with Edward playing with Emmilie.f

"Bye everyone." I said waving. "Thank you for having me over Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." Esme and Carlisle smiled at me.

"It was a pleasure to have you, dear," Esme said.

"You can come back any time," Carlisle said. Emmett waved at me and Edward got to his feet.

"I'll walk you guys out," Edward said following behind us. He followed behind us to my truck and opened the truck door. I threw my bag into the truck and Alice squeezed me tight. I giggled and she backed away slowly.

"I'll leave you too lovebirds alone," she said winking and skipping off towards the garage, opening the door and walking inside.

I climbed into my truck and started it. He grabbed the door and put his hand on the cab of the truck, leaning in. I turned to look at him and he smiled. I couldn't help but blush. I wanted to kiss him but I wasn't sure if anyone could see us. As if answering my thoughts, he leaned in and kissed my lips. I kissed him back, and threw my hands around his neck. He cupped my face gently in his hands and I pulled him further into the cab of the truck. I parted my lips slightly and ran my tongue along his bottom lips. He groaned slightly and pulled away, breathing heavily.

"You better get going before this gets out of hand," he said running his hands through his hair and chuckling. I nodded and laughed too. He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips then shut the door behind me. I backed the truck out, waving to Edward as he stood in front of the garage, hands in his pockets smiling.

I drove home in silence, playing the weekend over in my head. I pulled up to the house and Charlie's car was missing. He must have been at work so I decided to surprise him with dinner. I climbed the steps to the house and it was eerily quiet. I dropped my bag at the foot of the stairs and went into the living room.

The house smelled like old food so I went into the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess, dirty plates thrown into the sink along with pots and pans. I pulled at a pan and it looked like he had made spaghetti. I walked back into the dining room and two candles were sitting in the middle of the table. I don't remember putting those there. I shrugged and opened the windows to air the house out.

I went back to the kitchen and ran the water, rising out the pans. I washed all the dishes, dried them and put them away. I wiped off the counter tops and noticed two wine glasses on the counter. Maybe he had Billy over or something. I finished cleaning the kitchen and I went up to my room, grabbed my stuff for a shower and headed over to the bathroom.

I ran the shower water, got in, and hurriedly washed my body and hair. I got out of the shower, dried myself quickly, and tiptoed into my room. I dressed quickly in a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. I ran back down the creaky stairs into the kitchen and began making dinner for Charlie. I rather missed him, in a way. I hadn't been away from him that long since Mom died.

I finished cooking dinner, set the table, and brought all the food out. I waited for Charlie until nine and he never showed up. I put dinner in the microwave with a note and headed up to bed, a little bit disappointed. I lay in bed wondering where he was but decided he was probably working. I decided I would make a request that he call and let me know he wasn't going to be home until late. At least this way I would not worry so much.

-------

The next morning I woke up earlier than normal so I could actually do something with myself. It was raining yet again this morning, nothing surprising about that. I found a pair of black pants and a yellow long sleeve shirt that I decided to wear. I heard Charlie down in the kitchen as I crossed the hall to the bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and put on a bit of make up. I looked at my hair in the mirror and decided the wavy look would have to do so I pulled a headband on. Perfect and all in less than 20 minutes. I was a pro at this all ready. I dressed quickly and ran down the stairs into the kitchen.

Charlie was sitting at the table with his paper and his normal cup of coffee. I strolled into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and pulled out the orange juice, setting it on the counter. He looked at me from over the top of his paper and smiled. I poured my juice into my cup and sipped it before making my request.

"Dad, do you think from now on you could at least let me know when you won't be home for dinner? I made dinner last night and you never showed up." I said looking down into my cup of orange juice at the pulp floating around.

"I umm, I am sorry about that Bells, I just got caught up at work last night. Big case going on. I will call and let you know next time. By the way, the dinner was great." He rose to his feet, set the paper down on the table and walked to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Have a good day at work, Dad," I said as he walked out of the room. I finished my juice and put the cup in the sink.

I took off to school alone yet again. Jessica was still mad at me I guess. The rain was coming down hard and I could barely see out the windshield. I drove slower than usual and was nearly late to school. I pulled into my spot and met up with Alice, Edward, Emmett and this morning we had a new guest. Rosalie was standing under and umbrella, cuddling with Emmett. They were both making stupid baby noises at each other. I wanted to gag.

"Hey Bella," Alice said to me as I stepped under her umbrella, huddling close to her.

"Bella," Edward said nodding his head at me and smiling.

The bell rang and we all scattered to our classes, Alice and I walked along into our psych class. The class was boring as usual and the whole time Alice and I talked about the camping trip. I listened somewhat to the lecture, scribbling down notes occasionally. This day was already going to be long, I could feel it.

The rest of my classes were just as boring and I couldn't wait for lunch. Finally, the lunch bell rang and I ran from Calculus and headed towards the lunchroom. I saw Alice standing in line and I ran and jumped on her. She screamed and I laughed loudly, everyone turned to look at us.

"Bella! God, sometimes you are as bad as the boys," she said calming herself. I laughed at her but she just scowled at me.

We found our usual table, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were the first to join us. Emmett and Rosalie walked up to the table, hand in hand, Emmett carrying a tray full of food. Rosalie sat down next to him on the opposite side of the table from Alice and me. Jasper took the head of the table next to Alice. Rosalie grabbed her small salad off Emmett's tray full of food and began eating it. Jasper leaned over and kissed Alice on the cheek and she blushed. Finally Edward arrived carrying a brown paper bag, and he plopped himself down next to me.

"Hey guys," Edward said looking around the table. He pulled a sandwich, apple, bag of chips from his bag, and laid them on the table.

"I am really glad you all invited me to go camping with you," she said looking at Alice, then Edward who never met her glance.

"Oh Rose, you know we love you," Alice said sweetly. Rosalie blushed and she looked over at Edward, who had his head bowed chewing on his sandwich. I felt him nudge my leg under the table, and I looked at him and he was smiling widely.

We finished lunch off listening to Rosalie and Alice talking about clothes. I had no input so I just sat and listened, Alice elbowing every so often to make sure I was paying attention. The bell rang and Edward and I started walking of to Chemistry together. He told me a joke and I laughed loudly in the hallway, everyone turned and looked at me.

We walked into Chemistry and sat down at our lab table. Everyone in the class was watching us as we talked quietly in the corner. Mr. Morales stood in front of the class and started the lesson. We passed notes back and forth through class, him asking me non-stop questions. I laughed at his curiosity and told him my stories. The bell rang and I jumped. This class had gone by so fast. Edward walked me out of class and down the hall to my English class.

"I'll see you later?" he said looking hopeful, stopping in front of my class. I smirked up at him.

"We'll see," I said over my shoulder as I walked into English. He rolled his eyes and walked off.

Class ended and I ran as fast as I could out to my truck, nearly falling on my face three separate times. I slowed to a walk as I saw a figure standing near my truck. I smiled to myself knowing it was Edward. He was leaning against the bed of my truck with his back to me. He must have heard me coming because he turned around as I was walking up behind him.

"Hey," he said, his beautiful smile plastered on his face. I smiled back at him and stopped in front of him. He grabbed my belt loop and pulled me closer to him. I looked around the parking lot; people were starting to come out to their cars. I pulled back quickly as I saw Jessica round the corner. She noticed me, glared and got into my cars.

"Did you need a ride home, Mr. Cullen?" I said sarcastically, looking up into his green eyes.

"Well, since you are offering, I guess I have no choice," he said winking at me then flashing me his perfect teeth. I unlocked the doors and he was about to get in the truck just as Emmett pulled up behind us in his jeep.

"Hey bro," he yelled over the loud music. Rosalie poked her head around Emmett. She smiling at first and then suddenly she grimaced. "Is Bella going to take you home?" he asked, Rosalie disappearing from site.

"Yeah, I am going to fix her truck. I should be home later," Edward replied quickly. He glanced over at me and I leaned back on my heels. Emmett sped out of the parking lot, squealing his tires. We climbed into the truck and headed over to my house. Charlie's car was missing, as usual. I pulled into my normal spot and we both jumped out.

"Maybe I should take a look at your truck," he said pausing at the hood of the truck. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was right, and went back to the truck to pop the hood.

I popped the hood and he lifted it over his head and peered in. He grabbed the battery cables and shook them. He propped the hood up with the stand and fiddled with the cables. This ought to be boring so I walked up the steps into the house. I ran into the living room and the answering machine was blinking. I hit the button and the message played.

"Hey Bella, it's Dad. I just wanted to let you know I won't be home until later tonight. I have some work I need to take care of. I love you, see you later." I guess Edward would be staying for dinner.

I ran to the kitchen, pulled open the fridge and looked for something to make. I rummaged around finding nothing appetizing. I found some chicken and decided on chicken and rice. I prepared the chicken and put it in the over to bake while I stirred the rice on the stove. I heard the front door open and Edward came into the kitchen, his hands black with grease.

"So I think I fixed the problem," he said turning the faucet on, scrubbing his hands vigorously. He bent his neck to see what I was stirring and I stepped in front of him.

"You can wait," I said pushing him back.

He stepped back and took a seat at the table. We talked while I finished making dinner, him watching my every move. I sat down at the table next to him and we talked for a while. The timer on the oven rang loudly interrupting us; I got up and pulled the chicken out of the oven. He helped me set the table and I carried the foot to the table. I watched him eating. He ate the chicken as if he hadn't eaten in days. It made me glad that he enjoyed my food so much, that I could bring him happiness. I watched him eat as I picked at my food. I wasn't very hungry. After dinner, he helped me clear the table and wash the dishes quickly. It was nice to have someone help me.

The sun was going down and it was time to take him home. We walked outside and it was raining again. I drove slowly to the Cullen house, talking the whole way there, this time I was asking questions. He told me a little bit about his father before he left and how happy they used to be.

I pulled up the house and all the lights were on. I decided I wouldn't come in because I wanted to get back before Charlie got home. He leaned over, kissed my cheek, and smiled at me his beautiful smile. He got out of the truck, ran up the steps and hurried into the house. I drove back down the road and home. When I pulled into the driveway, Charlie still wasn't home. I traipsed up the stairs and to my room. I showered before bed, pulling on fresh pajamas and climbing into bed. I wasn't going to wait for Charlie tonight. I had a gut feeling something was going on that he wasn't telling me.

**Reviews make me happy!**

**Let me know what you think!**

**J**


	11. Apologies

**Chapter 11**

**Edward**

The rest of April and the entire month of May went by in a blur. Between finals and term papers due for every class, planning the camping trip in June, and spending my free time with Bella I had forgotten all about Rosalie. She didn't come around the house often and when she did, I was never around. I made it a point to leave. I tried to keep Bella as far away from Rosalie as possible. I didn't want anything slipping from Rosalie's big mouth to Bella because she would ruin things for me, and enjoy every single minute of it.

Alice, Bella and I hung out a lot together. Jasper came along occasionally and surprisingly he never mentioned anything about Rosalie. I know he didn't like me, hell, I didn't like myself that much to be completely honest, but he was at least being civil.

I liked hanging out with Alice and Jasper when they were together; they were good to have around and made me forget things for a while, if that was even possible. We mostly hung around the house and sometimes we would drive to Port Angeles if there was a really a good movie playing. I think Alice would drag us there just to take us shopping, which I absolutely despised. I decided I would make due and just shop for stuff for the camping trip this last time. It was the first weekend of June and I had nearly three weeks before the trip.

Jasper and I headed to the sporting good store and picked out some sleeping bags, canteens, hiking boots, jackets and backpacks. I was surprised Jasper was as enthused about the whole trip. I was surprised he was being civil with me even when Alice wasn't around. I decided that maybe I should talk to him about what happened that night at the party.

I thought about the night with Rosalie. It was the beginning of my sophomore year and Rosalie and Jasper were having a huge party since their parents had gone out of town for the weekend. Emmett had dragged me over to their house because he wanted to see Rosalie. I showed up in a bad mood already, the tons of drunken teenagers making it worse. I followed Emmett into the kitchen where Jasper and Rosalie were standing talking to a group of people, holding red cups I assumed to be filled alcohol.

The kitchen reeked of alcohol and I wrinkled my nose at the overwhelming smell. Emmett grabbed a beer bottle off the counter and popped the top, chugging the bottle down and setting it on the counter with a loud clank. He turned to me and offered me a beer that I took hesitantly. He popped the top of the beer open for me, grabbed another and began chugging that one. I sipped the beer slowly, the taste was bitter in my mouth and it made me want to gag. Rosalie ogled me from across the room, which made me uncomfortable, so I drank more. I usually didn't drink but this place was stressing me out.

I tried to crawl into a corner so no one would see me but no matter where I went, people were in every crevice of the house. Emmett was in a corner of the living room trying to woo Rosalie with his large muscles, thankfully distracted Rosalie enough so I could get out of the room unseen. I stepped quickly into the kitchen, grabbed another beer, and chugged it quickly. As much as the taste disgusted me, I was getting used to it. I could hardly taste it anymore.

A couple of beers later and I was so dizzy, my head spinning. All I wanted to do was lay down. My head started to pound fiercely. I walked down the hallway to find a room where I lie down. I opened a door in the hallway but it led to an office, the next a bathroom. I heard giggling and I turned to see Emmett and Rosalie coming out of a room. I wobbled slowly towards them, Emmett grabbing my shoulders and looking at me, laughing.

"Em, I really need to lie down." I said hiccupping, holding back the bile that threatened to flow from my mouth. I swallowed quickly, holding back the puke as I grabbed Emmett for stability.

"He can sleep in my room," Rosalie said giggling. Emmett smiled at her and stumbled down the hallway back to the living room as Rosalie led me into the room. The room was dark, she turned the light on, and I shaded my eyes from the blinding light. I saw a big white bed with a red comforter and I hurried over to the bed and plopped myself down face first onto the bed. I moaned in pain and I felt the bed move. I rolled over onto my back and closed my eyes.

I suddenly smelled an overbearing perfume so I opened my eyes and stared into Rosalie's blue eyes. She leaned over me and smiled, her hair brushing my face. I turned my head to the side, hoping she would back away but I wasn't so lucky. She ran her hands up my stomach, to my chest and then she grabbed my face. She leaned down and kissed me hard on the mouth. I immediately tried to shove her off me and she leaned back quickly. I gasped for air but she was already straddling me, her hands all over my body and her mouth everywhere. Her perfume was making me nauseas and I couldn't take it anymore.

I sat straight up, shoving her off my lap onto the floor. I leaned over and puked right into a small black wastebasket that was lying beside the desk. I lay back on the bed, the room was spinning and my head was pounding. I closed my eyes, willing the pounding to stop, but it never happened. I breathed in deeply, hoping the puking had subsided. I felt the bed move again and I felt hands on my legs. I looked up and Rosalie was there again. This girl was relentless. My head started pounded even harder, the pain was blinding me. I watched her lean down again as she kissed my neck, my arms too weak to move. I could hear her whispering something but I couldn't make it out, the pounding in my head was deafening me and then suddenly everything went black.

I woke up the next morning with the sun shining brightly through the blinds. I lifted my head slowly, my head spun and I lay my head back down. I looked around and noticed Rosalie was lying next to me, her skirt hiked up around her waist, her shirt tangled up over her bra. I closed my eyes and felt my own body. I felt my chest and there was fabric, I sighed and felt lower. I felt more fabric but soon realized it wasn't my jeans, it was my boxers. I rose slowly holding my head and noticed my pants were lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. Rosalie had passed out cold and was breathing heavily. I saw a blanket in a nearby chair, grabbed it and covered Rosalie up.

What had just happened that night? Had I slept with Rosalie? I grabbed my pants off the floor and pulled them on quickly, pacing back and forth in her room. She moaned from the bed and rolled over onto her side, lying still once more. She was half-naked, I was half-naked, the only conclusion I could come to was that we had. The first time I had sex and I didn't even remember it. I ran my hands through my hair as I paced back and forth. I couldn't let anyone find out about this.

I stepped towards the door, turned the knob slowly and walked down the hall towards the living room. Jasper and Emmett had passed out on the floor in front of the couch where two girls were sleeping. I could never tell either one of them what had happened last night, especially since Emmett was practically in love with her. This would kill him.

Too bad that secret didn't just end there. It ended in her being pregnant with Emmilie and her moving away to deal with it. I had uprooted their lives, no wonder Jasper was upset with me. I would be if I were him, too. I had to apologize for all the trouble I had put them through.

"Hey Jasper," I said walking up behind him as he was turning over a pair of boots. He turned around quickly and just stared at me.

"Yeah?" he said looking back down at the boots, pushing in the toe of the shoe before flipping it over and looking at the sole.

"Look, I am really sorry about the whole thing with Rosalie," I said apologetically. I really did mean it. It was a bad situation.

"Edward…" he said pausing, his eyes still on the shoe. "I know. Rose is my sister and I love her and want nothing but the best for her. She made a stupid mistake…" he said now drawing his attention back to my face, "and so did you. I know you didn't take advantage of her and I know you guys were both drunk. She brought it on herself. I am not saying the whole thing is right because its not, but it's a respectable thing you did by having your family adopt Emmilie and let Rose see her. Rose loves that baby." I nodded my head and he looked back down at the shoe.

"I just wanted you to know, Jasper. I don't even remember it at all. It just happened," I said looking down at my shoes.

"Well, it's happened and if I am going to be seeing Alice I guess I have to be around you a lot more than I really want to be so I might as well make the best of it. She means a lot to me and it means a lot to her that we are friends, so I will try, for Alice."

Jasper grabbed his boots and we carried all our stuff to the counter and rang it up just as the girls came into the store. Alice, as usual, was carrying nearly eight bags in her hand and Bella was carrying four. Bella never shopped. I wondered what she had bought in those fancy girly stores. Alice bounced in happily and hugged Jasper tightly around his waist.

"You are in big trouble Mr. Cullen," Bella said, her lips pursed together. I looked surprised. Oh my God. Had someone told her? Oh God, what was I going to do?

"Wha…what?" I stammered quickly. She put her bags down on the floor and crossed her arms. "Bella, look I didn't…" I tried to apologize but she cut me off.

"Alice told me in the store," she said still furious. "Why didn't you tell me Edward Anthony Cullen?" I stared back at her. How in the hell do I answer that question?

"Bella, I didn't want you to…" I tried but she cut me off yet again.

"Oh yeah, I bet you didn't want me to know!" she said louder. Alice started to laugh. I turned to Jasper and he looked afraid. She poked my chest with her finger and pushed me back.

"Bella, please understand…I didn't mean for you to be upset," I said backing up into the melt shelves.

"Edward, why didn't you tell me your birthday was this month," she said looking down, hurt. I closed my eyes. The anxiety left my body quickly and all my muscles relaxed. She was talking about my birthday. I put my hand under her chin, lifting it slowly so I could look into her eyes. She crossed her arms again and pouted.

"Bella, I completely forgot about my birthday," I said rubbing the back of my hand along her soft pink cheek. She was so flustered about me not telling her about my birthday. She was so incredibly cute.

"I think you should have told me. I mean we could have a party for you and everything," she said frowning. I turned to look at Jasper, his eyes narrowed in on us. Great, now he knows about us. I would have to remind Alice to keep that under wraps.

The guy behind the counter finished ringing up our stuff so we paid and grabbed our bags, heading for the door. Bella was walking slowly next to me, her head bent down staring at the floor. I hated seeing her upset, it broke my heart.

We got out to the car and there was nearly no room in Alice's trunk for all of our bags. We all climbed into her car and I squeezed in the back next to Bella. She turned and faced out the window, leaning her head against the glass. I grabbed her elbow and she turned and scowled at me, yanking her arm out of my hand. I sighed.

"Bella," I said touching her cheek gently with my hand, "please don't be upset with me." She turned to face me and I stuck my bottom lip out. She rolled her eyes and a small smile crept at the corners of her beautiful lips.

"I am mad at you Edward Cullen," she huffed, crossing her arms under her chest.

I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me. She tried to pull away but she finally gave in and collapsed in my arms, leaning her head against my chest. I ran my fingers up and down her arm attempting to calm her anger. With every pass my fingers traced I felt her muscles begin to relax slowly until she lay limp in my arms. I leaned my face into her hair, taking in her usual scent of flowers. I burrowed my face deeper into her hair, brushing my lips against her ear.

"I am sorry, Bella," I said whispering softly into her ear. "I didn't mean to hurt you but I really did just forget. You know I wouldn't hurt you intentionally." She snuggled her head up against mine and I pressed my lips into her hair.

We finally pulled up to the house and Jasper let us both out of the car. We gathered all the bags and carried them up into the house. Esme was sitting in the living room with Emmilie who was playing on the floor with her dolls. I smiled down at her and then Esme as she watched Emmilie play and I carried the stuff up the stairs.

Jasper followed me into my room and we dropped the camping equipment on to the floor just as Emmett was coming out of his room, Rosalie standing behind him. Emmett quickly stepped into my doorway, leaning his forearm against the doorjamb. Rosalie stepped up beside him and peered her head around his big arm.

"Woooah! Check out all the junk you two picked up," he said chuckling. He stepped into the room and picked up my black sleeping bag, turning it over in his large hands. "You sissies! Do you really think you will need all this stuff? What, aren't you two real men?" he said chucking my sleeping bag at me. It pushed me back and I nearly fell but I caught my balance.

"Come on, Emmett." I said throwing my sleeping bag onto my couch, "we can't all be mountain men like you." He laughed heartily and walked out of the room, Jasper following behind him. Rosalie stepped into the room further and she looked up at me, batting her eyelashes. She stepped slowly towards me and ran her finger down my chest.

"What did you bring me, Eddie?" she said giggling. I rolled my eyes and stepped back. I grabbed her hand from my chest and pushed it away.

"Rosalie, I think it is rather disgusting what you are doing. You are with my brother!" I said quietly, walking towards my bed.

"Oh Eddie, don't be such a prude. You weren't complaining that night," she said walking towards me seductively. She stopped in front of me and grabbed my belt, pulling my hips towards her.

"Rosalie, don't call me Eddie," I said pulling her hands off of me, "and please you really need to leave me alone." I looked up just as Bella was walking into my room, smiling.

She saw the look on my face and her smile faded. Rosalie followed my gaze, turned around, and saw Bella. She smiled widely at Bella who smiled half-heartedly back.

"I was just telling Eddie what a good job he had done with the camping gear," she said kicking one of the bags on the floor. "Well, I better go find my brother and get home, its late. Bye Bella, Bye Eddie," she said winking at me once Bella is back was turned and walked out of the room. Bella gave me a disbelieving look and shook her head.

"What was that all about?" she said stopping where Rosalie had been.

"I don't know," I said shrugged the question off, closing the distance between us. She looked up at me and bit her bottom lip gently. I cupped her face in my hands, leaned down slowly, and kissed her lips. She grabbed my hips and dug her nails into my shirt and I growled huskily and kissed her harder. I ran my fingers through her hair, grabbed the back of her neck, and pulled her closer to me.

She dragged her tongue slowly across my bottom lips, then biting it gently. I moaned slowly and she dug her nails deeper into my hips making me moan again and kissing her more forcefully. I untangled my fingers from her hair and brought my hands to her neck, slowly tracing her collarbone peaking from behind the white V-neck shirt she was wearing. I kissed her cheek and ran my lips up to her ear, nibbling her earlobe gently. She tilted her head back slowly, breathing deeply. The blood was rushing to my head quickly, making me lightheaded. I wobbled slowly on my feet, fighting to keep my balance. I closed my eyes, traced her jawbone with my lips stopping at her chin and kissing her lips once more, this time more feverishly. I grabbed her waist and ran my fingertips up her sides, causing her to shudder.

I heard a cough come from the door and I lifted my head to see Alice leaning up against the door. She was looking up at the ceiling, biting her lip. I dropped my hands from Bella's waist and she turned quickly and gasped. Alice chuckled and she crossed her arms underneath her chest.

"Hmm, nice little make out session you had going on there. Imagine if Esme had come in and saw that," she said winking. Bella grabbed a pillow from my bed and threw it at Alice who ducked in time, the pillow hitting the wall behind her.

"Alice!" Bella screeched. Alice rolled her eyes at Bella who growled, walked towards her and out of the room. Alice shrugged and bounced off behind her.

I sat down on my bed and sighed deeply. I lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to calm myself. I heard someone coming down the hall and I sat up just as Carlisle entered my room. Carlisle sat down next to me on the bed and sighed. I sat up quickly and slapped my hands on my thighs.

"Edward, I know this is really none of my business or anything but is something going on with you and Bella?' He turned, looked at me and put his arm around my shoulder. He always had a way of making me tell him the truth. I always felt guilty when he did this.

"What gives you that idea?" I tried to say innocently. The guilt rose up in my chest and sat at the back of my throat. Damn it.

"Well, it's just that you two have been hanging out a lot recently. I just want to talk to you about being safe." Oh for the love of Jesus, is he giving me this safe sex speech. I shuddered in disgust. I closed my eyes and cleared my head of the mental images that were now flooding in.

"She's a cool girl and we all have fun hanging out together." I said quickly, rising from the bed. I did not want to have this conversation with him. I knew why he felt it necessary and he had every right to but this was not a good time. After everything that has happened with Rosalie, I don't blame the guy at all for questioning our relationship.

"I hope you know I am not trying to pry here Edward. I am just looking out for you," he said getting to his feet and patting my back gingerly. He smiled gently and I forced a smile.

"It's not like that with her, Carlisle," I answered truthfully. It wasn't like that with her. She was not like Rosalie or Jessica Stanley. She was a good girl. He nodded, led me out of the room and downstairs into the living room.

I wasn't ready for anyone to know about us. It wasn't that I was ashamed of being with her; I just didn't want people to worry, as Carlisle was doing right now. We were going to have to be more careful from now on around them. I especially didn't want Rosalie to find out about us considering the jealous bitch she was, she would definitely try to ruin my life.

I plopped myself down on the couch next to Alice who was flipping through the channels. She smiled at me and I leaned my head onto her small shoulder. She patted my cheek softly with her free hand and giggled. Bella walked into the living room holding Emmilie in her arms. Bella bounced Emmilie up and down in her arms and Emmilie giggled happily, tangling in hands into Bella's hair. Bella smiled at me and carried Emmilie off to the kitchen. I sighed deeply.

"Edward? Edward, are you ok?" Alice asked as she patted my cheek again. I shook my head.

"Carlisle asked me about Bella," I whispered softly. Alice quickly sat up and turned to face me.

"What do you mean ASKED you about Bella?" she whispered back.

"He asked me if something was going on between us," I said looking behind Alice into the kitchen, watching Bella as she was giving the baby cheerios.

"Well? What did you tell him?" she said nudging me to get my attention.

"I told him it wasn't like that. I told him we just had fun hanging out."

"Well, umm is something going on with you two anyways? Are you guys together or what?" she said folding her arms under her chest.

"I umm…Alice, we didn't really talk about it. I mean, I like her and I am pretty sure she likes me but…"

"Edward," she said raising her hand and covering my mouth, "then what is there to talk about? Do you want to be with her or not? If so, then tell her. Don't leave the poor girl hanging," she said turning around and waving at Bella.

"I know, Alice, I know," I said shaking my head. I would make it official on the camping trip in three weeks. My birthday, I would do it on my birthday. I just needed time; time to figure out how to tell everyone.

--------

I watched as Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme sat at the kitchen table talking over graduation plans. The three were graduating in three days. Emmett and Rosalie had finally decided on Texas A&M. Rosalie was going to study marketing and Emmett was going to study architecture with a full football scholarship. It was rather surprising but Emmett was actually quite smart. Jasper had decided to go to school in New Hampshire. He chose Dartmouth for its Biochemistry department. He was trying to follow in his grandfather's foot steps which made his father mad that he wasn't following his and becoming a lawyer.

They were talking over the party plans, the catering and the decorations. Emmett really wasn't too concerned with anything other than the food. Rosalie and Esme did most of the decoration planning as Carlisle kept track of the budgeting. I listened to them as I sat in the living room alone. The girls had gone upstairs with the baby for a while to pick out what to wear for the graduation party. Alice was really starting to rub off on Bella and that worried me, a lot. I decided I would just head up to my room and play guitar for a while.

I climbed the stairs to my room, passed Alice's door, which was cracked open and heard Emmilie giggling. Emmilie's little laugh made me smile. I was glad I was getting to see her grow up, even if I couldn't be her father. I would let someone like Carlisle teach her everything that way I couldn't screw up her life. I walked into my room, grabbed my guitar and sat down on the couch.

I began strumming a chorus to a song I was writing. I was still messing with the notes but I hadn't quite perfected it yet. I hadn't come up with the words, just the music. I needed some inspiration. I heard a squeaking noise and looked up just as I saw my door slowly opened. Emmilie appeared from behind the door, smiling. She pushed the door open and slowly wobbled over to me. She stopped at the couch, leaned her little arm down on the cushion and cocked her head to the side, looking up at me. She smiled up at me as I continued to play.

I continued to strum the same chords over again as she stuck her tiny thumb into her mouth and sucked. She leaned her head onto her arm that was on the couch and listened quietly. I lay my guitar against the couch, picked her up, and set her in my lap. She leaned against my chest, still sucking her thumb and I picked up my guitar and kept playing. I played the same four chords repeatedly, humming along. I began to sing, words coming to me like moths to a light.

"Sleep little baby all through the night, God is watching over so it'll be alright, Lying in her arms, fast asleep, No more sorrows, no need to weep. Sleeping safely in the arms of a mother, not knowing the love of the other. She loves you dearly with all of her heart, So sad you two were ever split apart. She watches from a distance as you age,

She was a mother of just teenage, She had no choice but to let you go, To people who would love you and let you grow, Who could give you things that she could not,

To give you a life she had once sought, of love, peace, and lots of joy,

That she could not find with that young boy. That young boy who loved you as much as he could, who hopes one day you would grow to be good, And to understand the choice they made, to let you go and to not be afraid. You are better off with loving them now,

So I make you just this one vow, to love you always until the day I die, you will always be the apple of my eye. So sleep sweet baby in your warm little bed, Close your blue eyes and lay down your head, for the pale white moon is now in sight, Go to bed darling Emmy, this is goodnight."

I looked down and Emmilie had curled up in my lap, fast asleep. I heard a small cough from the doorway and Esme was standing against the doorjamb smiling. She walked over to the couch, sat down, and put her arms around my shoulders.

"That was a beautiful song, Edward," she said patting the back of my head gently. "You wrote that for Emmilie?" I nodded slowly.

"I wrote it just now apparently." I lay the guitar back up against the side of the couch. I wrapped my arms around Emmilie's small body and leaned back against the back of the couch.

"You will be a great father someday, Edward," she said leaning to look me in the eye.

"Esme, I am a father now," I said looking down at the sleeping baby. She was so sweet and innocent. I felt so guilty.

"Yes you are, but it is not your time to be one yet. Someday you will be a father and you will be able to raise your children and love them like you should." She stood up and looked down at me, reaching her arms out. I rose to my feet, holding Emmilie tightly. She nuzzled into my chest further, still sucking her thumb. I squeezed her lightly into my chest and obeyed the request. I lifted Emmilie and lay her in Esme's waiting arms.

Esme scooped her up and laid the baby against her chest. She smiled up at me and walked towards the door. She stopped suddenly, turned around, and looked at me once again. She was going to say something then stopped. She just nodded her head and walked out of the room. The room suddenly felt sad now that Emmilie had gone. I decided to write down the words of the song. I went to the desk, grabbed a piece of paper and pen and threw myself onto the floor, scribbling the words to the song down as quickly as I could so I didn't forget them.

I finished scribbling down the words and looked them over, pleased with my work. I rose to my feet, put the paper on my desk and walked towards the French doors. It was still somewhat sunny outside even though the sun was sinking down behind the trees, casting shadows through out the room. I walked out onto the balcony, leaning my hands up against the railing. I inhaled deeply the smell of the surrounding trees. The air was so clean and pure up here. I closed my eyes thinking of Chicago, my mother, my father.

I was lost in thought when I felt hands wrap around my waist. I lifted my arms up, Bella squirming herself in front of me. She rested her hands on my hips and smiled up at me. I leaned down and kissed her forehead, pulling her closer to me. She nuzzled into my chest and I squeezed her gentle.

"Hey Sunshine," I said as she looked up at me, a piece of hair falling in her face. I brushed her hair out of face and kissed her lips.

"So, are you excited about the graduation party?" she said sarcastically, giggling. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh yes, you know me and parties. LOVE IT!" She giggled quietly, her whole body shaking. I hugged her tightly against my body and she sighed. I heard a car pull in front of the house and I leaned forward and looked over the railing.

A white Mercedes had parked near the front steps. I didn't recognize the car but then again, it could be one of many of Carlisle's collections. I saw two people get out of the car and I immediately knew whom it was. I let Bella go, gripped the railing and scowled.

She grabbed my arm and I turned to face her. She looked at me worriedly and she grabbed my hand as I continued to scowl.

"Edward…." she said cocking her head to the side, squeezing my hand. "Edward, what is it? What is wrong?" I shook my head and she peered over the railing, confused. She turned to look at me again, a questioning look on her face.

"You are about to find out," I said grabbing her hand and pulling her back into my room.

-------

"What are you doing here, Mom?" I spat at her. She wrinkled her brow at me, a hurt look on her face.

"Now Edward, that is no way to talk to your mother," Roger said stepping in between us.

"Roger, I would really appreciate it if you stopped pretend to act like my father," I said glaring at him. I hated Roger and everything he had done to our family. He took my mother from me.

We stood in the living room staring back at each other as the rest of the family was seating uncomfortably on the chairs. Luckily, Rosalie and Jasper had already left or there would definitely be some issues going on.

"Edward, sweetheart, I am here for your brother," she said sitting on the arm of the couch next to Emmett. He put his arm around our mother's waist and leaned into her side. He was also so naïve when it came to our mother. She wasn't here just for Emmett because she never did those sorts of things. She had another motivator.

I looked around the room at Emmett, Alice, Carlisle and Bella as they sat on the couch, watching the drama unfold. I wondered if she knew about Emmy yet. Esme must have her somewhere. If she knew that Emmy was my daughter, she would die of embarrassment. I really didn't care about what she thought anymore, I made it my personal mission to do what I could to keep her away. I climbed the stairs to the second floor, walked down the hall and headed for the door on the left near the office, which I knew to be Emmy's room.

I opened the door forcefully and walked into the room. Esme was sitting rocking Emmy back and forth in the white rocking chair near the window. I had never been in this room before. I looked around at the bright room. The three walls were a light yellow color; the fourth wall was nothing but windows that were covered with a sheer white curtain. A white crib stood to the middle of the room draped with mosquito netting. It had yellow bedding the same color as the walls. A matching white changing table stood behind the crib, a white dresser next to that. The right side of the room was a wall of built in shelves filled with books, toys and stuffed animals.

She looked up at me and smiled, apparently unaware of the guest that had just arrived. She rocked the baby in the chair as she sucked on her bottle. Emmy pulled the bottle out of her mouth and made gurgling noises then giggled. I stepped closer to them and sat on the footstool in front of the chair.

"Esme, my mother is here and she brought Roger." Esme's face immediately distorted into a horrified look and I knew that she had not told my mother yet.

"Elizabeth is here?" She stammered. She suddenly looked uneasy. She rose to her feet, bouncing the child up and down in her arms and paced the room.

"Edward, I haven't told your mother about Emmilie. She has no idea. Is…Is Rose still here?" she asked continuing to pace.

"No, they left already. I don't care if she knows right now, Esme," I said, immediately regretting it as soon as it came out of my mouth. I realized I did care because Bella was out there.

"Edward, you must compose yourself. We do have guests and this is very inappropriate behavior." She said placing Emmilie into her crib and handing her a stuffed animal. "I will stay in here with her until Bella leaves and then we can talk about it in private."

I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me and headed down the stairs, everyone had already dispersed from the living room. I saw my mother in the kitchen with Roger and Carlisle. They were sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking. I ran back up the stairs and into Alice's room. Bella was shoving her clothes into her bag as I entered the room, her head lifted and she frowned slightly and continued to pack her bag. I stepped closer to her near the bed. I looked around the room; Alice was nowhere to be found.

"Edward, I am going to just go home, ok? This seems like a tense situation so I will come back another time," she said leaning over, kissing my cheek then turning back to her bag. I didn't want her to leave; she was what had kept me semi-calm. I grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face me, a startled look on her face.

I leaned down and kissed her eagerly. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. She reached her hands up around my neck and pulled me closer. She opened her mouth slightly and dragged her tongue along my bottom lip, her infamous move. I opened my mouth slowly, our tongues colliding between us as she massaged my tongue with her own causing a small moan to escape from my mouth, which in turn made her tighten her grip around my neck. I pulled my lips from her and kissed her cheek up to her ear, sucking on her lobe for a moment before whispering into her ear.

"I will miss you every minute that you are gone." I nuzzled my face into her hair and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She kissed my neck and pulled away, looking up at me smiling.

"Call me and let me know what happens?" she said hopeful. I nodded and kissed her forehead and pushed her hair away from her face.

She turned back to her bag, throwing it over her shoulder and walked out of the room. I leaned back against the foot of the bed and swallowed the lump in my throat. I sat on the bed for a moment and decided it was best to get this over with. I trudged down the stairs and back into the nursery where Esme was. She stood in front of the window looking out as Emmy sat playing in her crib.

Emmy was the first to see me and she stood up, cooing at me to come to her. She reached out to me and I walked closer to her. Esme turned around right as I had reached the crib and she brought her hand up to her necklace, playing with it nervously. I grabbed the rail of the crib and leaned towards Emmy as she continued to reach for me. She furrowed her brow in frustration as I sat and watched her. I chuckled and picked her up. She clung to my shirt, balling my shirt in her little fists. I hugged her tightly to my chest, swaying back and forth with her.

"Edward, Are you sure you want to do this?" Esme said stepping towards the crib. I looked down at Emmy, who was now sucking her thumb and she lifted her head and smiled, drool falling from her small mouth onto my shirt. She was my daughter and my mother needed to see this. Carlisle and Esme had done the right thing by adopting her.

"It's now or never Esme," I said taking in a deep breath. She nodded and stepped towards the door. I slowly followed her, the fear creeping up into my chest, my heartbeat quickened. I carried her down the hall and down the stairs into the living room. My mother was standing in front of the couch, her back to me. Roger and Carlisle were sitting on the couch next to each other. Roger saw the baby and he stood to his feet quickly mumbling something. My mother quickly turned to face me, smiling. Her smile quickly faded when she saw the baby in my arms.

"Ed…Ed…Edward what…what is this?" she stammered, clutching her chest. She backed up and Roger wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Mother, I would like you to meet my Emmilie….my daughter." I said holding my head high. She stared at the baby and then up at me, then back to Emmy.

"Why….why is she here?" she said turning to look at Esme, then to Carlisle. Carlisle breathed in heavily, rose to his feet and walked over to my mother.

"Elizabeth, Esme and I talked this over and we felt that it would be better if Emmilie lived with us. I don't think it is right to give away a perfectly good child when there are people who can love and care for her. No one knows this is Edward's baby, not even Alice or Emmett." Once Carlisle said their names I looked around the room to find them missing.

"Carlisle, please do not take what I am about to say as disrespectful but…Are you out of your damn mind?" she spat at him, throwing her hands on her hips. "This is bound to get out sooner or later, and no doubt by that big mouthed tramp!" She was referring to Rosalie at this point, which made me giggle to myself, but I quickly gained my composure.

"Elizabeth, let's be reasonable here. Emmilie should be with her family. Esme can't have any more children and it is a good opportunity for the baby. She will be loved and cared for in the right way and Edward can watch her grow up. I have already had a talk with Rosalie and she has promised…"

"Wait, you have talked to her? She is here??" Elizabeth screeched. She turned and looked at me. "Did you know about this?" she said glaring at me.

"Mother, you know how much I despise her, why would I come here? You act as if I planned this whole thing, as if I wanted to sleep with her." I said rocking Emmilie who was whimpering in my arms.

"I am completely disappointed in my family," she said grabbing the bridge of her nose and squeezing. Roger rubbed her shoulders and shook his head at me.

"Edward, I want you to know that I am cutting you off, no money, no help, no more. We are through, do you understand me?" she said narrowing her eyes on Emmilie. I nodded at her.

"Elizabeth, please reconsider about…" Esme said stepping towards her.

"Esme, I have heard quite enough for tonight. I will be staying only long enough to see my son graduate and then I will be going home. My own family has betrayed me. Absolutely unbelievable." She said shaking her head and walking towards the door, Roger following her.

Esme grabbed the baby from me and I sat on the couch and watched through the window as my mother pulled away and down the driveway. She has cut me out of her life and in a way and I deserved it. I could live with the consequences of my actions, even if it meant losing my family.

I sat back against the couch and ran my hands through my hair. I wanted Bella, I wanted to hug her, kiss her and I wanted her to make me feel better. Alice and Emmett came into the living room, Alice leading the way. She sat down next to me and nudged my side gently.

"So where is Aunt Liz?" she said looking around the room.

"She left. For good hopefully," I said, the last part almost in a whisper.

"Darn it! I didn't really get any time to spend with her," she said pouting.

"Don't worry my darling," Esme said sitting on the arm of the couch next to Alice and stroking her short hair softly, "she is going to stay here until Emmett's graduation." Alice smiled widely and bounced in her seat.

I couldn't wait for her to leave Forks and go back to Chicago so I would never have to hear about her again. She was dead to me and so was my father. I was appalled at the horrible wrong turn my life had taken. I had the perfect family growing up and now, now, my life was a living nightmare, the only good was the fact that I had moved away from them. I would be forever grateful for my aunt and uncle. They gave me a new sense of being, one beyond my life in Chicago.

I sat and watched as Esme, Alice played on the floor with Emmy and Carlisle, and Emmett sat and talked about sports. I smiled. It was like a real family. I looked down at Esme on the floor and she smiled back at me, her eyes filled with love. She reached over, patted my knee gently, and turned back towards the girls. In that moment, I realized I no longer needed my mother and father. I had parents here, one's that loved me, one's that cared about me, one's that never judged me.

I smiled to myself as I basked in the quiet sounds of my family around me enjoying each other's company. This was what I was searching for and yet it was right in front of me the whole time. I guess the things in life you want the most really are closer than you think.


	12. Graduation Day

**Chapter 12**

**Bella**

It was the day before Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper's graduation and Alice was dragging me to Port Angeles after school. She said I had to get a new dress for the party. I really didn't feel the need to get dressed up but I was also the one that wore nothing but jeans and t-shirts.

"Alice, I really don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes you know."

"Bella, will you relax a bit, sheesh. I've got it this time. Besides, I just may end up borrowing it at some point," she said, parking her car near the entrance of the mall.

The mall wasn't very busy which was a good thing. It meant that I wouldn't run into anyone I know while she was making me try on embarrassing things. We walked past a couple of stores before we hit one of Alice's favorite stores. I rolled my eyes as she pulled me into the store.

"Alice, I don't need underwear," I said pulling against her. For being a petite girl, she was rather strong. I pulled harder but she had a near death grip on my arm.

"Bella," she said stopping, turning and looking up at me, "this is my little make over. I get to pick the clothes and you get to wear them, no questions asked." I sighed in defeat. I let her drag me into the store and in front of a table full of different colored underwear. She began pulling different colored panties up and folding them across her arm. Blue, pink, purple, yellow, and orange panties littered her arm. I shook my head and the elaborately decorated underwear that I would probably never wear.

She moved on to the bra table and began turning them over, feeling the padding, running her fingers over the lace and throwing some over her arm along with the panties. I watched as she fluttered from table to table, filling her arms with more and more fabric and colors. I leaned up against a wall, crossed my arms under my chest and waited for her to finish. This was going to be a long day. She finally finished, crossed the room and pulled me into a changing room. She had resorted to a basket to throw the underwear in and dropped the basket on the bench behind me with a loud slam.

"Ok, so I want you to try on all these things. Once you are done, come out and we will move on to the dress," she said walking out of the room, closing the door behind her.

I tried on the underwear slowly, most of them were definitely far from my normal white panties with the occasional flower pattern or design. Some of them were cute and then were some that were uncomfortable. After about ten pairs, I decided to move on to the bras. She had grabbed tons of push up bras in every shape and color. I slipped out of my plain white bra and tried the first one, which was a pink padded push up bra. I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror. I grabbed the wall to brace myself because I nearly fell over with shock.

My boobs were nearly falling out of the bra. I had gained two bra sizes in two seconds. I turned to the side and faced forward again; shocked at the instant transformation this contraption had created. I nodded; this certainly did do something for me. I tried on a couple more with the same outcome, surprisingly pleased.

Twenty minutes passed in the room and I finally came out and handed Alice the basket. She looked down at the garments and nodded. She took it eagerly and walked over to the register. I tried to interject my opinion on the uncomfortable ones but apparently my opinion didn't matter. She handed the basket to the girl behind the counter and she took the basket and emptied it onto the counter. The girl rang up all my items quickly and shoved them into pink bags.

"Your total comes to $897.89," the girl behind the counter said smiling. My eyes grew in horror. I have never gone shopping anywhere in my life and had a bill even remotely close to that high.

"Alice that is entirely too much money. I need to put some…." I said grabbing for the bags on the counter but she slapped my hand out of the way.

"Bella, that is what credit cards are for," she said pulling out her wallet, grabbing a silver credit card and handing it to the girl. She grabbed the bags off the counter and slipped her card back into her wallet. She handed me two bags and we walked out of the store.

I followed Alice down the mall to a designer dress store. Everything in here looked extremely fancy and expensive. I glanced around the store, grabbing at the different fabrics that hung from racks. I looked through a rack of dresses of all different colors, styles and fabrics, running my fingers over a silky dark navy blue dress. I pulled it off the rack, lifting it up and looking it up and down.

It was a long blue spaghetti strap dress with a slit that rose to nearly mid thigh, and rhinestones that adorned the small straps that crossed along the back. I got lost looking over the dress, a sudden feeling of excitement overcame me. I felt a small hand wrap around my wrist and I looked up at Alice who gently pulled on my arm. I placed the dress back onto the rack, looking back as she led me to the back of the store. The back wall was lined with even more dresses except these were more casual than the one I had previously picked up.

She looked through rack after rack, pulling off different dresses and turning them over. When she had found a dress she approved of, she hung it on the changing room door for me to try on later. One she had an adequate amount of dresses, she handed them to me and pushed me into the room. I tried them on one by one, coming out, turning for her and waiting for her reaction.

The first one was a short yellow sun dress. It was cute but definitely too bright. Yellow was not my color. She cringed and I headed back into the dressing room. The second dress I tried on was a short black low cut dress. I looked down and felt completely naked as my breasts were nearly exposed in my normal bra, I couldn't imagine what the bras we just bought would do to them. She shook her head and I sulked back into the dressing room. I grabbed the next one and slipped it on. I looked in the mirror and smiled. It was a fitted black halter dress that flared slightly at the bottom and hit mid-calf.

"That one is…perfect," she said covering her mouth. "Now, we need accessories," she said turning to look around the store. She grabbed a black sheer shawl and laid it across my shoulders.

"I really like this one," I said surprised at my own statement.

"I do too and I have the perfect shoes for this," she said taking the shawl. I slipped back into the dressing room and handed the dress over the door to Alice. I dress quickly and Alice was already at the counter paying for the dress.

"Alice, how much was that dress?" I said folding my arms.

"Don't worry about it Bella, look at it as an early birthday present," she said pushing me out the door.

We carried our bags to her car and shoved them into the truck, slamming the trunk shut and smiled at me. I couldn't help but be slightly excited. We climbed into her car and started back home to Forks, singing along to the songs on the radio..

We got into town, headed to my house down my street and she parked the car at the curb, popped the trunk and stepped to the back of the car. We pulled out my bags and she helped me carry them up the stairs and into the house. We dropped the bags at the foot of the stairs and I turned to her, smiling. She hugged me tightly and smiled.

"Thank you for the clothes, Alice. You really shouldn't have."

"I know but it makes me happy doing these sorts of things for people I love," she said smiling.

"Aww! You love me!" I squealed. She winked at me and slipped out the front door.

I decided it was time for dinner so I went to the kitchen and rummaged around the cupboards trying to find something to make. I decided on spaghetti, got the pot out, and boiled water. I went into the living room and waited for Charlie who should be home at any minute.

Twenty minutes later Charlie came into the house, stomping his boots on the tile floor. I walked into the kitchen to finish stirring the food and he came in the kitchen and rested his cup on the counter.

"Hey Bells," he said leaning over me to look at what I was stirring. He breathed in deeply. "Smells good," he said walking into the living room.

We ate dinner together as usual and I even sat and watched part of a game on TV. He started to fall asleep on the couch so I quietly got up and walked towards the stairs, picking up my bags and carrying them upstairs. Tomorrow was the day I was going to actually meet Edward's mother. I introduced myself to her when she had shown up unexpectedly at the Cullen's house but I hadn't spent any time with her. I changed into my pajamas, crawled into bed, and waited for sleep to overcome me.

-------

"Hurry up, Bella. We are going to be late!" Alice shouted up at me. We were the last ones left in the house. We were going to be meeting everyone at the school for graduation. I opened the bathroom door and stepped out. Alice gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

"Bella…Wow! You look so amazing," she said. I came out wearing the dress we had bought yesterday, a pair of strappy silver heels, the black shawl, four silver bangle bracelets and matching silver hoop earrings. Alice had curled my hair and pinned it up on top of my head. I looked in the mirror behind her and turned to the side. The bras she bought really did wonders on my bust.

"Thanks," I said blushing. She went into her closet and came out with a small black clutch, laying it in my hand.

"Take this and put your money and lip gloss in it," she said walking away. I raised my eyebrow at her. I wonder if she realized I didn't have lip gloss. I grabbed money from my bag and my chap stick.

I followed her down the stairs and out the front door to the garage. On the way down the steps, I nearly fell but caught myself. We walked into the garage and got into her car. We pulled out of the garage and down the driveway, tires squealing when we hit the asphalt of the highway.

She sped down the highway, hurrying to make it to the school on time. We finally arrived at the school and she pulled into the parking lot, which was nearly full. We found an open spot near the back of lot and she pulled in quickly. Alice jumped out of the car and was at my door before I had even put my foot out. She grabbed the door and held it open for me. I chuckled as she helped me out of the car. Was it that obvious I was a complete klutz?

I stepped out on the pavement and steadied myself before I took another step. It was getting easier for me to walk in these things now that I have had practice walking around Alice's house in them. I tried to keep up with Alice who was nearly running to the gym. How she managed to run in four-inch spike heels I would never know. Alice threw open the gym doors and walked inside quickly.

I could see the streamers and balloons that were all over the place despite the fact the gym was lit dimly. I followed her through the aisles of chairs until about half way towards the stage when I noticed Elizabeth, Roger, Carlisle, Esme and Edward sitting in the middle of the aisle. She stopped and headed towards her family. I carefully followed her down the tight aisle, trying not to trip. I looked at Edward who was smiling at me and I smiled back.

I took my seat next to Alice just as the lights dimmed even lower. A spot light shone on the stage on our principle who stood at the podium. He spoke into the microphone that was in front of his mouth, giving the normal graduation speech and then introduced the valedictorian. She stood in front of the podium and stuttered through her speech, which felt as if it would never end. Finally, after the speech, they introduced the graduating class, which consisted of 249 students. This ought to go quickly, I thought to myself.

"Sasha Marie Cranston," the principle said over the microphone and a tall blonde girl crossed the stage, shook his hand and walked back to her seat. "Trevor Michael Crawford, Emmett McCarty Cullen." Emmett stepped out onto the stage and walked across to the principle. Alice, Edward and I stood up, cheered, and clapped for him loudly. He looked out into the crowd, threw up the rock on sign and the whole crowd erupted in laughter. We sat back down laughing and waited for Jasper and Rosalie to be called next.

"Jasper Hale…" Jasper walked across the stage and Alice and I jumped to our feet and screamed," Rosalie Lillian Hale…" Rosalie followed behind Jasper and we continued to clap and scream.

I clapped wildly and looked down the aisle; Elizabeth was staring straight ahead at Rosalie crossing the stage. She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips and then leaned over and whispered something in Roger's ears. It seemed a bit odd that she would give Rosalie that sort of reaction. I thought they had all grown up together. I shrugged it off and waited until all the graduates had been called, crossed the stage and had taken their seats. They gave one more speech pronouncing them graduates and they threw their caps into the air and screamed. The audience clapped loudly and then we all dispersed to greet them.

Emmett ran up to us still wearing his gown and hugged his mother tightly. She wiped the tears from her cheeks; he chuckled and hugged her again. He then hugged Roger, Carlisle then Esme. He shook Edwards hand and they patted each other on the back.

"Congrats Bro," Edward said smiling at him as Rosalie and Jasper walked up to the group. Emmett grabbed them both and hugged them wrapping his massive arms around them. He turned around to his mother and wrapped his large arm around Rosalie's waist pulling her in front of him.

"Mom, Rosalie is here," he said pulling her close into his side. Elizabeth's eyes widened in horror and she swallowed hard. She smiled abd grabbed her son's arm pulling him away from the crowd. I stood near Alice who hugged Jasper and was fidgeting who his gown. I laughed and we all headed towards the doors.

Once outside we all dispersed to our cars and headed back towards the Cullen home. The driveway to the house was lit with the same lights from the party we had months earlier, and car after car pulled into the driveway. The Cullen's pulled their cars into the garage to make room for the guests. Alice and I got out of the car and started for the house, Edward, Esme and Carlisle stepped out of Carlisle's Mercedes and followed behind us. The house was decorated elaborately with pink and white flowers as we stepped inside. Twinkling lights hung from the ceiling and candles were lit all around the room. The kitchen counter was covered with food and drinks, the furniture in the living room had been cleared from the room. We finished setting up the food and drinks in the living room when the first guests arrived. Alice greeted the guest who came into the house slowly. Edward came into the kitchen, sat down next to me at the table, and sighed heavily.

He leaned forward and put his hand on my knee, smiling. I smiled back at him and watched as more and more guest streamed into the living room, the noise growing to a dull roar. I sipped on some punch and Edward sat back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head.

"You look beautiful tonight, Bella," he said, his green eyes sparkling. I blushed slightly and looked down into my cup.

"Thank you," I said shyly as he rose to his feet, held out his hand and led me into the crowd.

I stood near Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Elizabeth and Roger as the guests talked about their law firm and some of the cases they were working on. They spoke for a while when Elizabeth looked at me and smiled.

"I am sorry dear for being so rude. I don't believe we were properly introduced," she said holding her hand out to me. I grabbed her hand and shook it gently.

"Oh, Aunt Liz this is Bella, my best friend," Alice said.

"Bella, I must say you are quite pretty," she said looking me over. I felt very self-conscious as she looked me up and down and I blushed.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Cullen,"

"Oh dear, no, no, I haven't been Mrs. Cullen in years. That was my ex husband's last name. Please call me Liz," she said smiling gently. I couldn't understand why it was that Edward had hated her so much. She seemed like a nice woman to me, as far as I could tell.

The party lasted nearly four hours before people started to trail off home. It was almost eleven o'clock by the time the last guest had left. Elizabeth and Roger were the only ones left. She was hugging Emmett tightly and crying once again.

"Gee, Mom do you really have to cry at everything," he said furrowing his brow.

"I am just so proud of you, darling," she said cupping his cheek and rubbing it with her thumb gently. She pulled down the jacket of her white suit and smoothed it out. Roger hugged him next and patted him on the back.

Rosalie came up, grabbed Emmett's arm and a smile as Emmett leaned down and kissed her cheek. Elizabeth forced a smile then pursed her lips and turned back to Emmett. I stood against the wall and watched as the family said their goodbyes. Elizabeth turned to me, smiled at me and headed my way. I quickly stood up straight and smiled as she approached me

"It was very nice to meet you, Bella," she said shaking my hand gently. "You are quite the young woman, it's such a shame my son hadn't met a girl like you first," she said glancing over at Emmett who was standing in the kitchen with his arm around Rosalie. She sighed deeply then looked at Edward who was slumped in a chair near the opposite wall, staring out the window.

"Thank you," I said smiling, looking over at Edward as she turned back to me. She hugged me gently and waved to me as she joined Roger near the door. Alice walked towards the stairs and I followed behind her upstairs.

We slipped into her room and changed quickly into our pajamas. I collapsed onto Alice's bed and snuggled under the comforter. Alice jumped on the bed, fluffed her pillows and laid her head against the headboard. I thought about how Elizabeth had looked at Rosalie.

"Hey Alice, Does Liz not like Rosalie or something?" I said turning to her. She turned and looked at me, confusion crossing over her face.

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Well, I just get the feeling she doesn't really care of her all that much."

"Well, I don't know if you know but Aunt Liz and Rosalie's father, Henry got into a huge fight and she fired him. So I think she sort of takes it out on Rosalie. Elizabeth is old fashion, she comes from a family she calls "old money", and Rosalie's family is what she calls "new money" and she thinks that Rosalie isn't anywhere near good enough for her son. When Rosalie was very small, her parents were poor and lived in a trailer. Rosalie's mother, Sara got pregnant when she was very young with the twins and Henry married her. He went to school at nights and worked two jobs to support the family."

"Wait a minute, I don't understand, isn't that what Elizabeth did to take care of Edward and Emmett?"

"Well, after their parents divorced yes, but she had come from a wealthy family in New York. She met their father when he was there for school. Her parents disapproved of him greatly and disowned her. She ended up running away with him and moving to Chicago."

It seemed to me like there was more behind her dislike of Rose than Alice seemed to know. She sunk down further into bed and turned off the lights. I looked out the window as the rain poured down against the glass.

"Goodnight, Alice," I whispered but I heard her breathing heavily, I softly poked her but she had already fallen asleep.

I had a sudden yearning to be near Edward and I hadn't had any alone time with him today. I slid out of bed and tiptoed towards the door, opening it slowly. I slipped out the door and saw a crack of light from underneath the door. He had to still be awake. I stepped towards his door and tapped it lightly. The door opened slowly, Edward standing in his pajama pants. He smiled when he saw me and opened the door wider, letting me in. I walked quietly into the room and turned around. He grabbed me by the waist and kissed me quickly on the lips, pulling away and smiling down at me.

"I was hoping you would come," he said grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed. I climbed underneath the soft comforter and laid my head onto his soft pillows. He climbed in and put his arm around my waist, pulling me into his bare chest. His chest was so warm and smelled of soap. I nuzzled against it and kissed his collarbone.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," I said sighing. He rested his chin on top of my head and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Did you have fun tonight?" he said, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger.

"I did. I really liked your mother," I said hesitantly. He suddenly pulled back from me and looked down into my eyes.

"Bella, don't let her fool you. She is not what she makes herself out to be. Trust me."

"She told me she wished her son would have met me first," I said biting my lip.

"She said that to you?" he said surprised. I nodded and he brushed my hair away from my face and rested his arm on my side. He chuckled for a moment and then kissed my forehead.

"What's so funny, Edward?" I said poking my finger into his bare chest. He chuckled again and shook his head.

"Nothing, I promise." I placed both my palms onto his pecs and felt his chest rise and fall as he breathed slowly.

He leaned down and kissed my lips. And I slowly ran my nails down his chest to his flat stomach causing him to twitch and he kissed me harder. I ran my fingers up his side and up to his neck. He breathed heavily and I ran my hands through his hair and tugged gently. He let out a small moan, opened his mouth and pushed his tongue in between my lips, massaging my tongue. I pulled harder on his hair and he in turned kissed me harder.

His hand slid up my side, barely touching the side swell of my breast and cupped my face. He pulled away and brought his face to my neck, kissing and sucking the skin at the hollow of my neck. My eyes rolled back in my head and I arched my back, pushing my hips into him. He growled softly, bit my neck gently and I shuddered.

His warm breath washed over my neck and I brought my face back down, grabbing his face and kissed him frantically. I darted my tongue in and out of his mouth and he grabbed my hips tightly, pulling them towards him. He pressed me into his body and I could feel his excitement against my hip. I moaned softly into his mouth as I ground my hips into him and he groaned loudly.

He rolled quickly onto his back and rolled me on top of him as he put his hands on my hips, slowly slipped his fingers underneath the bottom of my shirt. He traced the waistband of my pajama bottoms with his fingertips and the warm touch of his fingers made me shudder with delight.

I dragged the tip of my tongue along his jawbone and he pushed his hands up my shirt and rested them on my sides, digging his fingers into my soft flesh. I bit his neck and he groaned loudly. He released his hands from my sides and he threw his head and arms down against the bed. I leaned over him and looked down into his face, his green eyes closed.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" I said worried. He breathed in deeply, lifted me, and set me back on the bed. I rolled over onto my side and stared at him, his eyes still closed.

"Bella, we just…can't do that," he whispered.

"What do you mean?" I stumbled over the words.

"We can't get carried away like that, I…I don't know if I can stop myself next time," he said slowly opening his eyes. He turned on his side and rested his head on his elbow. A lock of hair fell across my forehead and he reached across and pushed it behind my ear.

"Bella…I…." I smiled at him but he stopped. He pulled me into his chest, his heart beating loudly. He slowly ran his fingers through my hair, and his breathing became shallow, his fingers lay tangled in my hair. I lay there, listened to him breath and finally I fell asleep.

-------

I woke the next morning with the sun shining brightly into my eyes. I groaned softly and stretched my arms over my head. I turned to look at Edward, his eyes closed, breathing heavily. I leaned over and kissed his lips, letting them linger for a moment then pulling away. He moaned softly, smiled and opened his beautiful green eyes. He reached his hand up and caressed my cheek gently with the back of his hand.

"Good morning my sunshine," he said smiling. "You better get into Alice's room. It's already late," he said sitting up and looking out the window. I sat up, kissed his cheek and jumped out of bed. I ran to the door and cracked it open slowly, blowing him a kiss and closing it behind me. Emmett's door opened and he stepped out. I stopped in front of Edward's door, shocked. He looked up at me confused and then smiled.

"Hey Bella," he said walking towards me. "Were you waking Edward up?" I nodded quickly and he smiled. "You better be careful, he is a grouch in the morning." I chuckled to myself remembering his smile when he opened his eyes, and Emmett took off down the stairs. I released the breath I was holding and slowly slipped into Alice's room. I grabbed my bag from the floor and carried it into the bathroom.

I walked over to the vanity and looked myself over in the mirror. It was summer and I couldn't wait until the camping trip. No more school, no more teachers. I was free. I shook out my hair, slipped out of my clothes, and jumped into the shower, turning on the water as hot as I could bear. I stood underneath the water, letting it run down my face. I washed my hair and scrubbed my body clean. I turned the water off and grabbed the towel hanging over the door. I stepped out onto the bath mat and dried myself. I grabbed the clothes from my bag and put them on quickly.

I stepped out into the bedroom and Alice was sitting up in bed yawning. She waved at me and swung her feet over the side of the bed. She placed them on the floor and walked past me and into the bathroom. I set my bag down in front of the bed, grabbed the remote, turned the TV on, and waited for Alice to come out.

Twenty minutes past and Alice came out of the bathroom in a white towel. She walked into her closet, dressed herself quickly and came out wearing cut off short shorts and a pink baby doll tank top. She sat down next to me on the bed and sighed.

"Bella, I don't feel well today," she said leaning her head on my shoulder. I reached up patted her cheek lovingly.

"You should stay in bed then today. It is ok though, I really have to get home. Charlie is probably wondering where I am. Call me later though, ok?" I said grabbed my bag and walking towards the door. She nodded and crawled back in bed as I closed the door quietly behind me.

I said goodbye to Esme, Carlisle and Edward who were sitting in the living room and took off for home. I pulled up to the house and Charlie's car was sitting in the driveway, Billy Black's truck parked next to it. I sighed deeply, remembering the last time I saw Jacob. He had kissed me unexpectedly and I ran out of the house. I hesitantly got out of my truck and climbed the steps to the house.

The smell of pizza greeted me as I opened the door, accompanied by the loud voice of the sports announcer on the TV. I set my bag down on the stairs and walked into the living room where Charlie, Billy and Jacob sat on the couch.

They all smiled at me when I entered the room and I looked around the room nervously, trying to avoid eye contact with Jacob specifically. There was a piece of toast lying on a plate and I grabbed it and chewed on it vigorously. I sat there watching the game and chewing my toast until I had finished. I brushed my hands off and headed upstairs to unpack my clothes.

I was only in my room for about ten minutes when I heard a knock at the door. The door opened and Jacob stood in my doorway staring down at me on the floor. I looked up at him and bit my lip nervously. I had no idea what to say to him. This is exactly why I had avoided him and he had to go and ruin it. Stupid boy.

"Bella, can we talk?" he said holding the door open. I nodded slowly and he came into the room and sat down on the edge of my small bed.

"So what's up Jacob?" I said trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing, folding some clothes up and laying them down neatly in stacks. I grabbed the basket of clean clothes and set it down next to me.

"Well, you never really gave me time to apologize about that day. You just sort of ran off," he said scratching his head. I nodded but said nothing. "Am I bothering you?"

"No Jacob, I just…I really don't know what to say to you. It was a mistake and it happened, so we should just drop it. Apology accepted." I said pulling out a shirt and folding it.

"Bella, I'm not sure I really am sorry for what I did, more so when I did it," he said lifting himself off the bed and onto the floor next to me. I turned to look at him and he was staring directly into my brown eyes. His gaze was intense and it was rather uncomfortable.

"Jacob, it's not like that for me." I said focusing back on folding the clothes.

"Bella, who is Edward?" The moment he said his name my heart nearly stopped. He had heard me mumble his name.

"What? No one, why do you ask?" I said chuckling nervously.

"You said his name that day. Do you like him?"

"Jacob why do you insist on being so nosey?" I said folding the laundry rougher than I had expected and slamming it down into the stack.

"Can you just answer the question, Bella," he said grabbing my arm. I turned to look at him.

"God Jacob, as if it is any of your business, yes I do like him. It's Alice's cousin if you must know," I said yanking my arm from his grip. He hung his head and looked down into his lap.

"Oh," he said quietly. A pang of guilt hit me. I rolled my eyes and turned around to look at him.

"Jacob, I like you too, it's just…a different kind of like," I said putting my hand on his shoulder.

"How do you know, Bella, unless you try? It could be that different kind of like with me," he said questioning me. I heard a voice coming from down stairs and Jacob got up and opened the door. "I got to go Bella, but keep in mind what I said." He walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

I sat on my floor staring at the door. His sudden interest in me startled me. Where had this all come from? I shrugged it off, continued folding the clothes then putting them away. He made me nervous looking at me the way he did and I wasn't quite sure how to deter him from his sudden obsession with me. Billy and Charlie had been best friends for years and I didn't want to cause any problems, but this could not go any further.

The rest of the day, I spent with Charlie, cleaning the kitchen together and working in the backyard. I actually had fun with him when he was around. Around three o'clock he got a call on his cell and he took off quickly, kissing my forehead before he left. I finished up in the backyard, pulling the weeds up and tossing them into the big green trash can. I walked back inside when the phone rang. I ran to the phone and picked it up quickly, nearly out of breath.

"Hey Bella," Alice said weakly.

"Alice? Are you ok?" I was worried.

"Yeah, I think I caught a cold or something. I feel awful," she said coughing loudly into the phone.

We spoke for a while longer before her voice finally gave out and we hung up. I was already missing all of the Cullen's. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV hoping it would distract my longing. I flipped through the channels aimlessly trying to find something good to watch. I finally settled on an old western that looked somewhat interesting.

After enduring nearly forty minutes of the western, I decided it was time to make dinner. I spun around the kitchen preparing dinner quickly before Charlie came back. Halfway into cooking, the front door opened and I heard Charlie stomping his boots tentatively on the tile floor causing an echo throughout the house. He appeared in the doorway smiling wider than usual. He looked over me at the stove and squeezed my arm gently.

"Hey Bells," he said walking to the cupboard, pulling out a cup and filling it with water. He drank slowly from the cup as he watched me cook dinner. I stirred the sauce, feeling his eyes on my every movement. I turned and looked at him, leaning up against the counter sipping his water loudly. I smiled sarcastically at him and raised my eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah sorry Bells," he said laying the glass down and disappearing into the living room.

I set the table for dinner and we ate in an awkward silence. The sound of scraping over forks over plates was the only noise in the room. I picked at my spaghetti, slowly chewing the noodles until they were disintegrated in my mouth. Charlie was acting odd today; hardly ever did we sit silent during dinner.

"Bella, I ran into Jessica today. She told me the two of you weren't talking anymore," he said moving pieces of lettuce around on his place absentmindedly. I looked up at him surprised. Where had he been that he had run into Jessica?

"I uh, well yeah we kind of got into an argument. She doesn't want to be my friend anymore." He nodded slowly as he raised his fork to his mouth. He chewed slowly, contemplating my last statement before he spoke again.

"Bella, this wouldn't have anything to do with you spending all your time with the Cullen's does it?" he said holding his fork in front of his mouth, then closing down on it.

"What? No, Dad, Jessica is just….she's moody and she's been seeing that Mike Newton kid, I don't know, she's just different." I said averting my eyes from his view, hoping he would not see the deception in my eyes. He made a noise I assumed meant something in agreement and went back to eating.

After dinner, I ran up to my room and got my clothes ready for a shower. I gathered my pajamas and towel and tiptoed to the hall bathroom. I quickly showered and ran back to my room before I could run into Charlie. I pulled my laptop over to my bed, sat up against the wall, and checked my email. I had forty three unread emails, which didn't surprise me since I hadn't picked up the laptop in nearly two weeks. I sifted through the junk mail and saw an email from Jessica. I didn't even bother to read it; I quickly hit the delete button and shut the lid. I sighed heavily and put it on the table next to my bed. I curled up into bed and fell asleep.

-------

The next couple of weeks went by quickly as I prepared for the camping trip and Edward's birthday. I had planned to make a nice dinner for him and Esme helped me in getting the necessary foods together we would need for the trip.

The day before the trip, I decided to go to Port Angeles to shop for a present for Edward. I wasn't really quite sure at first what to get him until I saw it. It wasn't extremely expensive and I had saved up just enough money working in the Newton's store during

last summer. It was a bit on the cheesy side but I didn't care. He would like it, I hope. I had the gift wrapped in a small black box with a white bow on top and I placed it in my bag and headed home.

I didn't pull into the driveway until after seven. Charlie's patrol car sat in the driveway. I climbed the steps to the door, opened it slowly and set my bag down on the bottom stair. I heard laughing coming from the living room as I slowly walked into the living room. I was shocked to see a woman with her back to me, sitting on the couch.

When I entered the room, Charlie immediately saw me and got to his feet. He looked obviously startled and he forced an awkward smile on his face. The woman turned to face me with her almost black eyes and then stood as well. That is when I noticed she couldn't have been much older than I was. Twenty-two, twenty-three at most.

She smiled widely at me, her perfect white teeth shown brightly. Her face was eerily familiar yet, I couldn't place it. She brushed her long, silky, black hair from her exposed russet shoulders and held her small hand out to me. I looked at her a moment, unsure of how to react.

"Hi Bella," she said looking down at her hand, apparently waiting for me to place mine in it. I didn't move my hand, instead I darted my eyes to Charlie who stood in front of the couch nervously. I gave him a questioning look and he shrugged.

"Bella," he said stepping towards me, "This is Megan Hewitt, she teaches up at the reservation, where Jacob goes to school." I hesitantly took her hand, keeping my eyes on Charlie. She shook my hand enthusiastically, more than I decided I liked and I pulled away quickly.

A million thoughts ran through my head at that moment. She turned to look at my father with a goofy look on her face. Was my father dating this girl? How old was she really, if he was dating her? Did Megan teach Jacob on the reservation? I am sure I made a funny face because they both looked at me confused.

Megan backed away slowly and stood next to Charlie. I raised my eyebrow at this peculiar behavior and slowly backed out of the room. I didn't want to know right now. It made sense why he was gone all the time and never home. He was in La Push….with Megan….and probably alone. I grabbed my bag from the bottom stair, ran up the stairs, tripped on the last step and fell flat on my face.

I picked my head up slowly, rubbed my head and ran into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I didn't want to talk to either one of them or think about it tonight, I didn't want this to ruin my camping trip, my perfect trip with the perfect boy. I wouldn't let him ruin it with the utter nonsense of him dating a girl close to my age so soon after my mother's death, and then I realized my mother had died nearly two years ago, it wasn't yesterday like it felt, it was years ago. He was perfectly in his right to date someone else, but it doesn't mean that I approved. I lay face down on the bed and closed my eyes, willing away the horrible images flooding into my head. I wasn't going to let this ruin my vacation.


	13. Happy Birthday, Edward

**I do not own any of these characters, damn it! This chapter is relatively smutty...smuttiest so far. Leave reviews. Let me know!**

**Chapter 13**

**Edward**

I waited anxiously on the front steps with my camping gear sprawled out around me, watching the road up to the house waiting for her to show. I looked down at my watch; it was a quarter past six. I sighed heavily at the thought of her not coming. She was thirty minutes late. I watched as the others traipsed in and out of the house, loading the vehicles and the small trailer attached to the Hummer with their camping gear.

Today was my birthday, June 20th, and I couldn't wait until Bella came. We were going camping today and for the next four days. No one had really mentioned it being my birthday, but I didn't mind, I wasn't one for making a big deal out of it. I was just grateful for Bella camping with us. I rested my elbows on my knees, placed my chin in my hands and watched the road.

"Edward, are you ever going to pack up your stuff or are you going to just sit there?" Alice said, standing in front of me with her hands on her hips. I looked up at her as she rolled my eyes and I hung my head, stood up and grabbed my stuff. I headed towards the garage, decided I was going to ride with Emmett, and threw my stuff in the back of his jeep.

As I was loading the jeep, I heard the rumbling of Bella's old truck huffing up the road to the house. I jerk around quickly, a smile immediately spread across my face. She was here, I was wrong, and how good it felt to have been wrong. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed my entirely peculiar reaction to Bella's arrival but everyone was busy. She parked her truck in her normal spot, opened her door and got out.

Alice ran over to Bella, hugged her tightly and they both giggled. I rolled my eyes at them. Girls were always giggling. I guess I had no room to talk, I was giggling on the inside myself; Bella just had that effect on me. I walked as slowly as I could manage over to Bella's truck and grabbed the door, pulling it open wider.

"Ahem, Ladies if you don't mind we have to get going," I said, looking at both of them standing on the other side of the door. Alice raised her eyebrow and gave me a very confused look.

"Um, excuse me but weren't you the one that was just…." she began but I cut her off before she could even finish the sentence.

"Oh, look at the time," I said glancing down at my watch, "no time for speeches Alice, let's go," I said grabbing her arm and pulling her into the garage. She rolled her eyes but obeyed.

I went back and helped Bella with her bags, which surprisingly was not many. I just assumed she was going with me of course which was a good assumption since Alice was loading Bella's bags next to mine. We quickly packed the stuff into the back and waited for Carlisle and Esme to come out of the house so we could leave.

Emmett was already sitting in the front seat with Rosalie, talking about some fishing pole he bought the other day at Newton's. She looked rather bored, picking at her nails and looking them over. Rosalie wasn't exactly someone I would call the outdoors type. Actually, Rosalie was the complete opposite of that. She cared far too much about her appearance. That is why I liked Bella, she was beautiful without much effort and she didn't always care about the way she looked.

Carlisle and Esme suddenly appeared in the garage carrying their bags. I had never seem Esme in anything other than nice clothes like dresses, skirts, or dress pants but she was dressed in khaki walking shorts, an emerald green tank top and a pair of hiking boots. Carlisle was even dressed down as well. They both looked like they had walked out of camping magazine and I couldn't help but chuckle quietly as I leaned against the back of the jeep, leaning against the giant tire that hung next to me.

"Bella, I hope you don't mind but I am going to ride with Mom and Dad in the Hummer," she said leaning closer to Bella. "I want to ride with Jasper," she whispered. Bella hugged Alice, they giggled again and Alice took off towards the SUV. Bella turned to me and smiled widely, she looked excited.

Bella headed for the jeep and I followed her as she climbed into the backseat. She scooted to the other door and I climbed in behind her. Once we were all situated, Emmett started the jeep, backed out of the garage, and waited for Carlisle. Carlisle backed out of the garage next and headed down the driveway, Emmett following behind him.

We started down the highway towards the mountains and Emmett turned on the radio. A loud rock song came on and Emmett started singing along to it. I couldn't help but laugh at him as he sang off tune. Rosalie giggled and reached over and squeezed his arm.

She turned slightly, caught my eye and winked before turning forward. I had a feeling she was never going to give up; the thought made me gag.

I turned to look at Bella, who was looking out the window, and I reached over and ran my fingers over the back of her hand that was resting on the seat between us. She turned to me and smiled, making my heart flutter. She turned her hand palm up and she grabbed my hand in hers, intertwining our fingers.

The drive to our camping spot took us nearly two hours to get to the site but it was worth it. The site was a large clearing surrounded by pine trees and shrubs near a small brook in the middle of a forest. Carlisle had come across the beautiful site when talking to one of the fellow doctors who was an avid outdoorsman. He usually came here when he was camping with his brothers and I could see why. Emmett and Carlisle parked the vehicles off the path and into the large clearing trying to maintain as much space for the living area as possible.

I jumped quickly from the jeep as soon as it stopped and stretched my arms above my head, immediately feeling my tight muscles relax. It felt good to be out of the cramped quarters of the backseat. I strolled over to the middle of the clearing and looked around, taking in everything. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, smelling the cool water nearby, pine trees and the dirt. The air was magnificently pure, the sky amazingly clear. It was an unbelievable camping spot.

Washington was so different from Chicago and its dirty air and litter covered streets. I had only been camping once when I was younger with my family, but I hardly remembered it. Alice was squealing loudly, which made my eyes shoot open at the sudden disturbing noise. I turned and saw her standing near me, holding Jasper's arm while bouncing up and down.

"It's so beautiful here!" she exclaimed, turning to her father who was unpacking stuff from the trailer. "Daddy, thank you so much for bringing us here," she said running towards him and wrapping her small arms around his waist. Carlisle smiled widely and patted Alice's head gently.

"You are welcome, my darling," he said leaning his head on top of her head. She let go, ran over to Jasper, and hugged him tightly. I chuckled at Alice's enthusiasm.

Bella finally got out of the jeep, nearly falling to her face after catching her foot on the seatbelt. I could not help but laugh loudly and she glared at me. I came to her side, grabbed her elbow and pulled her upright. I leaned over and whispered softly into her hair.

"Don't be mad, Sunshine. I would have never let you hurt yourself," I said leaning back and smiling at her. She rolled her eyes and pulled her elbow out of my grasp defiantly and walking to the back of the jeep. She grabbed her bags out, tossing them a couple of feet away into the campsite.

It took us nearly two hours to unpack all of our gear from the vehicles and trailer before we actually started to set up. Carlisle had bought some nice tents for us. He had bought four large tents, one for him, Esme and the baby, one for the girls, one for the boys and one for the shared space.

We all helped unpack the large tents while Carlisle and I pitched them in a half moon shape around the backside of the site. Jasper and Emmett dug out a large hole in the front of the tents for a large fire, and went off to gather branches and sticks from the nearby forest. Esme held Emmilie while trying to help the girls unpack the food and the kitchen supplies.

The guys returned to camp with lots of wood, throwing it into the hole and organizing the branches so they would get the most out of the wood. They went back to gather more firewood for later, laughing and pushing each other as they tore off quickly into the brush and disappearing.

Once the tents were up, Bella and Alice grabbed their sleeping bags and backpacks and set up in the tent they claimed as their own. Two of the tents were the same, each with three rooms, one for each person, those were our tents. One tent was red, one was blue and of course, they took the red tent. Carlisle had bought a large green tent for the three of them and it had two rooms, one for him and Esme and one for Emmilie. The beige canopy tent was for the shared space that was set in between our tents and Carlisle and Esme's tent.

I grabbed my bags and carried them into our tent, claiming one of the small rooms as my own. I pulled out my black sleeping bag, rolling it out onto the floor and setting my two pillows near the opening of the bag. I pulled out a small fold up table and set it near the sleeping bag, setting my lantern on top of it. I heard Jasper and Emmett run into the tent, laughing and shoving each other causing the tent to shake violently at their escapades.

"Will you two chill out?" I growled at them as I leaned back onto my pillow, crossing my hands under my head.

They stopped suddenly, and I sighed in relief, but moments later, they were at it again. I rolled my eyes and gave up. The woods were so very calming, birds chirping, and the small brook running behind us. I lay in the tent for a while before I heard one of the girls scream. I jumped to my feet and ran out of the tent, followed by Jasper and Emmett just as Rosalie was running from her tent, screaming hysterically. We both stood watching in horror as Rosalie ran around in circles, brushing herself off wildly.

"Holy Christ, Rose, what is wrong?" Emmett said running to her, grabbing her shoulders firmly and shaking her. She screamed something I couldn't understand and Emmett erupted in laughter. He pulled her into his massive chest and ran his large hands down the length of her hair. Jasper and I looked at each other confused and then looked back to the drama. Emmett turned to us still laughing.

"There was a… praying mantis… in her tent… and it …...crawled onto her shoulder," he said in between the laughter. Jasper and I started laughing uncontrollably, and I bent over and rested my palms on my knees, trying to breath but failing miserably. Alice and Bella had come running from the woods carrying water containers and looking frightened.

The girls saw us laughing and a confused look crossed their faces. Alice ran to Jasper and tried to ask him what was going on but he couldn't stop laughing. She punched his arm, crossed her arms under her chest but her frustration made him laugh harder.

"Jasper Hale! You tell me what happened right now!" she said stomping her foot. He breathed in deeply, trying to gain composure, and then sighed.

"Ok so, Rose had a praying mantis in her tent and she freaked out," he said seriously, then snickered loudly when he looked over at Rosalie. Alice raised her eyebrow in disbelief.

"That….that was IT?" she spat. "She was screaming like that over a praying mantis?" she said laughing loudly. Bella was standing near Alice and she chortled quietly, and covered her mouth.

Once we had all recovered from the dramatic experience Rosalie had, we got back to setting up camping, setting up the tables, chairs, and food. Esme had put Emmilie in a playpen near the shared tent and began cooking us breakfast. Emmett and Jasper started a small fire for Esme to cook on and they sat around it on rocks poking at it and laughing. Alice, Bella and Rosalie were in their tents talking and reading some girly magazines, and Carlisle was fidgeting with his fishing pole.

"Hey boys, how about after breakfast we all head over to the river for some fishing?" he called out to us. We all nodded in agreement and waited for breakfast to be finished. This camping trip made me miss my father for the first time in a long time. I was glad to have Carlisle around to do the normal fatherly stuff my dad had failed to do.

I sat back in my plastic folding chair at the end of the table, leaning it on two legs, trying to keep it balanced as I watched Esme finish breakfast. She brought over two plates; one filled with scrambled eggs the other with pancakes. I quickly grabbed a plate before Emmett caught wind of the freshly cooked food and I scooped some eggs and a pancake onto my plate as Esme called everyone to the table. She picked up the baby, sat her on her knee and scooted close to the table. She slowly raised her fork full of eggs to Emmilie's mouth who opened her mouth obediently and took the eggs, chewing happily.

Emmett came running to the table, sat near Esme and began serving himself quickly with Jasper trailing behind him. Jasper took a seat on the other side of Emmett and began serving himself as well. Alice, Bella and Rosalie came running out of the tent next and joined us. Rose sat next to Esme, Alice sat next to Jasper and Bella sat next to me, leaving an open spot between her and Rosalie. Carlisle came from his tent and sat in between Bella and Rosalie.

We all ate our breakfast together, everyone laughing and discussing plans for activities for the next few days. The girls planned to go swimming in the river and help Esme around the campsite and we had decided we would go fishing to catch something for dinner.

After breakfast, we grabbed our fishing gear and headed down to the river just a mile or so down the path and left the girls to clean up the breakfast dishes. Carlisle was carrying a small ice chest, fishing net, and his fishing pole. He had on a goofy fishing hat that made us all laugh at the site. We finally arrived at a clearing in the woods that led to the bank of the river. We found a part of the bank that jutted out into the water and a couple of large rocks to sit on. It was the perfect fishing spot.

We set up our fishing gear, sat on the rocks and cast off. Carlisle and I shared a rock, sitting side by side, as we cast off in silence. Jasper and Emmett sharing the other rock and were fighting over something very loudly. I left my bobber out in the water for a couple minutes before reeling it back in and casting off again. Carlisle said nothing for along time, just casting his line out into the water every couple of minutes as well. The silence was making me a little nervous but finally he broke it.

"Edward, I know about you and Bella," he said quietly. I turned and looked at him, a look of horror flashing across my face. I turned to Jasper and Emmett to see if they had heard, but they were laughing loudly. I gasped suddenly and turned back towards the water before speaking, trying to chose my words wisely.

"Carlisle, I have no…" I started out but he interrupted me quickly.

"I am not upset, Edward, in fact quite the opposite, she is a good girl. I think she would definitely be good for you. I do, however, have a couple of requests in regards to the relationship. I request you to please be careful, and take precautions when…"

"Carlisle!" I hissed quietly. "It's not like that with her. Nothing has happened with her," I said reassuringly. He nodded, reeled his line in, and cast it off again. Another brief moment of silence.

"I want you to be honest with us, Edward. I do understand being a young teenage boy and the hormones. I was there once, but as you have seen first hand what can happen when you are careless." I hung my head in embarrassment. It wasn't entirely my fault, I don't even remember it. The one and only time I had sex and I couldn't remember a damn thing about it. I felt cheated out of losing my virginity.

"Carlisle, I am being honest with you. It is not like that with Bella, it is different. I care about her a lot, a lot more than I care about myself," I said reeling in my line again.

"Edward, don't be so hard on yourself. You are a good kid; you just hit a rough spot there for a while. We will get you through this. You can live a normal life."

"I might be able to but what about Rosalie?" I said quietly glancing over at Emmett and Jasper who had their backs towards us.

'Edward, Rosalie will get over it in time. It will be hard for her but I think the fact she can see Emmilie grow up and know she is safe will help ease her pain. I can tell you care about Emmilie. She is a sweet child and she reminds me of how you were when you were little. You boys were both really good babies," he said reaching up and squeezing my shoulder.

"I promise to be careful with Bella, Carlisle," I said looking out over the water. Suddenly my line tightened and something strong pulled against my pole. I pulled back on the pole, reeling the line in slowly, fighting with the fish I had just caught.

"Woah, Edward caught a fish," Emmett said slapping Jasper on the back. Jasper turned quickly and they both ran over to my side. They jumped and hollered at me as I reeled it in the fish.

Carlisle grabbed the net and waited. I fought with the fish for a couple minutes, trying not to break the line as I reeled it in slowly. Finally, the fish emerged from the surface of the water, a large bass swung from the line, flopping around wildly. Carlisle held out the net and scooped the fish up quickly, struggling to keep the fish from jumping out. Emmett slapped me hard on the back as I set the fishing pole down against the rock and took the net Carlisle handed me. He reached into the net and pulled the hook from the fish's mouth.

"Bro, you caught a damn fish!" Emmett yelled loudly. Jasper laughed and they both went back to their poles they had set down against the rock and Carlisle put the fish into an ice chest he had placed near the rock.

Carlisle had packed a couple of sandwiches and around one o'clock we took a break for lunch. We sat on the rocks and ate the sandwiches quickly so we could get back to fishing. Emmett ended up eating two sandwiches, which Carlisle apparently had predicted as he had packed one extra sandwich.

After lunch, we fished for a couple more hours, sitting on the rocks, talking and laughing. Emmett and Jasper talked mostly about going to college, telling Carlisle of all the exciting things they had planned to do once they got to school. I sat quietly listening to them rambled on about school, growing sadder by the moment. I was going to miss Emmett, as much as he irritated me sometimes; I really was going to miss him. I might even miss Jasper, just a little. I felt a little bad for Alice having to be so far away from him.

Emmett had caught two fish, Carlisle had caught one, I had caught three and Jasper hadn't caught any. Emmett made fun of Jasper's fishing skills the whole way back to camp. Jasper just rolled his eyes and blew him off but I could tell Emmett was getting to him. Carlisle carried the ice chest with tonight's dinner back towards the campsite and I followed behind him with our poles.

We reached the campsite a little after four, carrying our stuff into the middle of the campsite and set them down. The camp was deserted, the breakfast plates were washed and the table cleared, but no one was in sight. Carlisle set the ice chest near the stove, and called out for Esme, but no one answered. We searched the tents and still couldn't find anyone. We gathered back in the middle of the campsite and decided to wait for a while until they showed up.

We were waiting for nearly twenty minutes before Alice suddenly appeared through the brush with a smile spread across her face. She walked into camp and stood in front of us as we sat around the table playing cards. She sat down next to us as if nothing was odd about them disappearing and she watched us play.

"Alice, where is everyone?" Emmett said fanning his cards in front of his face, furrowing his brow in concentration of his next move. She bit into an apple she had been carrying and smiled at us.

"Alice, where is Esme and Emmilie?" Carlisle asked her again. She looked up at her father and smiled.

"They went for a walk in the woods. We decided to have a picnic out there so they sent me back to get you," she said taking another bite of her apple. Carlisle collected the cards and put them into a stack on the table and we all rose from the table as Alice led us into the woods.

We followed her into the woods a couple hundred yards when we heard faint voices coming from ahead. I saw Esme standing quickly; smiling at me then crouched back down. That was strange, what were they doing, I thought to myself.

I followed quickly behind Alice as she led us into a clearing in the woods and I stopped suddenly. Carlisle ran into me hard, causing me to nearly topple forward further into the clearing. He grabbed my shoulders and stepped forward around me, staring in front of him. Jasper and Emmett stepped forward from behind me as well and looked down in astonishment.

The girls were sitting on two large thick blankets in the middle of the clearing, a picnic basket set in the middle of one of the blankets. Alice and Rosalie shared one blanket while Bella and Esme sat on the other. Esme was holding Emmilie who was sitting on her lap, eating cheerios from a small baggie Esme was holding. She looked up at me, giggled and drooled. The drool trickled down her small chin and landed on her bib.

"What is all this?" I sputtered. I looked from each of their faces and they all smiled back at me. Alice rose to her feet, slowly came to stand in front of me, and looked up into my eyes.

"Happy Birthday, Edward," she said wrapping her small arms around my waist. She pulled back, smiled and she looked down at Bella who was smiling widely.

"It was all Bella's idea," she said as Bella blushed a deep shade of pink. Of course, it was Bella's idea. She would never let me forget my birthday, no matter how much I wanted to. I smiled down at her, as she blushed even darker, my overwhelming sense of appreciation nearly made me break out in tears. Not many people would do this for me, but she was one of them.

"Esme helped me get everything ready though, so it wasn't all me. And you helped too Alice!" Bella stammered quickly, trying to take the spotlight off herself as we all stared at her.

I crouched down and took a seat near Bella, lightly brushing my hand against her bare leg. She looked up at me, smiled and looked around quickly. Carlisle sat next to Esme, wrapped his arm around her, leaned over, and kissed her cheek lovingly.

Jasper and Emmett sat down on the other blanket near the girls as Alice began to pulled food out of a large picnic basket. She pulled out large green containers of food and stacked them on top of each other. Emmett grabbed for the containers but Alice swatted his hand away. He cringed back and rubbed the back of his hand gently.

"Patience, Emmett," Alice said chuckling. Alice pulled the top off one of the containers and a wonderfully delicious smelled wafted from the bowl. I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell. I knew that smell well.

Alice pulled out some bowls and generously scooped the food into it. She handed me the first bowl with a fork, and I looked down into the bowl, my stomach growling loudly. It was raviolis, which were my favorite and marinara sauce. I looked over at Bella and she smiled shyly.

"Who made these?" I said, my eyes never leaving Bella's face.

"Bella and I made them," Esme said handing Emmilie some more cheerios. "It was her idea to make the raviolis." Bella had far exceeded my expectations of a girlfriend. I wanted to hug her right immediately but I refrained myself by shoving a ravioli into my mouth. I chewed slowly, enjoying the wonderful texture in my mouth, savoring the work of my wonderful girlfriend.

We all sat and ate in the forest, talking amongst ourselves, everyone complimenting Bella and Esme on their culinary prowess. I was completely baffled by the delicious dinner they had planned for me. We finished eating, Emmett nearly eating a whole large container himself, and we cleaned up the meal.

Alice and Esme packed the rest of the containers into the basket while Carlisle and Jasper folded the blankets. Carlisle led us out of the forest and back to the site. The sun had fallen behind the trees, throwing shadows all over the forest. We made out way back to the campsite in time to light the lanterns before it got too dark. Esme went to the tent with the kitchen stuff, pulled out a large cake, and brought it to the table. She sat the cake in front of me and I gasped.

Before me sat a large two-tiered white frosted cake. She placed seventeen candles on top of the cake and lit them all slowly, the candles casting a cheerful glow around the table. I looked over the cake at everyone who was smiling at me. Emmett stared at the cake, a look of hunger in his eyes and for a moment I thought he might tackle it and eat it all himself. They sang to me "Happy Birthday" and I blew the candles out, the table growing dark. A sudden light appeared as Esme carried a lantern to the table and placed it in the middle of us.

The cake was a chocolate cake with a cream cheese frosting and was absolutely amazing. Esme and Bella had made it the day before we had left for the trip that I had apparently managed to not notice. Esme cut the cake and served me first, then everyone else. I hadn't expected any of this to happen, but I was glad it did.

Esme brought over a couple of colorful presents with big bows. She set the pile of presents in front of me, blocking my view of everyone at the table. I grabbed the top one first, a box the size of a shoebox, wrapped in blue striped paper and a large white bow on top. I looked at the small card attached to the box and it was from Alice and Jasper. I slowly unwrapped the box and pulled open the lid. I lifted the tissue paper to reveal a leather book. I lifted the book out of the box, running my hand along the cover. My initials were etched in the bottom right hand corner in silver letter. I opened the cover of the book to reveal blank pages of sheet music. My breathing hitched for a moment as an overwhelming emotion came over me. A lump formed in my throat and I closed my eyes trying to hold back the steady stream of emotions. I took in a deep breath and looked up at Alice who was holding her hands over her mouth waiting for my reaction.

"Alice…Jasper…..this is absolutely amazing," I stammered. "I…I….I love it." She got up quickly, ran to my side, and hugged me tightly into her chest. Tears streamed down her eyes and she pulled away, wiping them from her cheeks. I squeezed her shoulder gently and she walked back to her chair. I looked over at Jasper and he nodded.

I laid the book back in the box and placed it on the table. I grabbed the next box on the top of the pile which was a larger box wrapped in bright red paper and a large red bow on it. I pulled the box onto my lap, lifted the card, and opened it. It was from Emmett and Rosalie.

I ripped the red paper from the box and lifted the lid, pushed aside the tissue paper and pulled out a large pair of red dice for my car. I chuckled and looked up at Emmett who was holding Rosalie in his lap.

"That's for the car, Bro. Now that you finally drive it," he said laughing loudly and leaning over to kiss Rosalie on the cheek. Rosalie giggled and winked at me. I raised my eyebrows, smiled sarcastically and quickly grabbed the last box. This box was the same size as the last one and was wrapped in silver paper with a large black bow. This one was from Esme and Carlisle.

I unwrapped the present quickly, tearing the shiny paper from the box. I turned the box over and looked at the front of the box. It was a brand new stereo for my car. I had been looking for the perfect one the other day with Emmett when I saw it. He must have told Esme and Carlisle about it.

"Thank you so much," I said turning the large box over in my hands. "How did you know I wanted this one?" I said looked back and forth between Carlisle and Esme. Esme smiled widely and nodded towards Emmett.

"Emmett told us you liked this one when you two had gone shopping. I do hope it is the right one," she said gently bouncing Emmilie on her knee.

"Yes! This is the exact one. It's perfect," I said smiling at Esme.

Esme grabbed the paper and I picked up my boxes and carried them back to my tent, setting them in the corner. I pulled out the box with Alice's gift and opened ran my fingers over the lettering in the corner. I heard the other's outside rustling around and I placed the book back in the box and placed it in the corner near the others

I stepped out of the tent, headed for the table and took a seat next to Esme who was sitting next to Carlisle playing cards. I rested my cheek on her shoulder and she reached up to pat my head gently. I watched everyone play cards for a while before I decided to play. We played cards at the table into the night, laughing with each other and having a good time. I hadn't had this much fun in awhile oddly.

It was pitch black outside, everyone tired from the long day, and we decided it was time for bed. I headed for my tent with Jasper and Emmett when Bella slipped a piece of paper into my hand and ran off to her tent. I waited to open the paper until I was safely alone in the tent. Jasper and Emmett wrestled around for a bit before settling down finally. I leaned back against my pillow and pulled the paper out from my pocket. I dimmed my lantern slightly and read the small untidy writing on the small paper.

"Meet me in the woods where we had dinner at midnight." I sighed and looked at my watch. It was nearly eleven fifteen. I set the alarm on my watch for midnight and turned the lantern out. I listened to the water streaming behind us; the frogs croaking as I could hear the slow heavy breathing of Jasper and Emmett.

I must have relaxed entirely too much because the next thing I knew my watch was beeping loudly, stirring me from my dreams. I quickly shut the alarm off and sat still, listening to see if anyone stirred. I slowly made my way out of the tent, looking around the deserted camp.

I quietly made my way to the clearing where hours earlier we had eaten dinner. I stepped cautiously so not fall or make too much noise. I approached the clearing, a dim light shining through the brush. I pushed back the shrubs and saw Bella leaning on her hand, sitting with her legs sprawled out to the side on a blanket, a lantern placed near her.

She looked up, obviously startled by my sudden appearance into the clearing. Her face relaxed once she realized it was meand smiled up at me. I knelt down in front of her, cupping her face in my hands gently, and kissed her lips lightly. She smiled back at me as I lowered myself onto the blanket in front of her, staring into her dark eyes, made even darker by the blackness around us.

She pulled a small white box from behind her back, tied with a big red bow. She held it out to me and I stared at it cautiously. She pushed it at me further and I took the box from her, turning it over, staring at it in amazement. She had gotten me something but I was too nervous to open it. I gulped hard and looked down into her dark eyes.

"It's not much but I hope you like it," she said shyly as she watched me unwrap the small box. I lifted the lid, pushed aside the tissue paper and looked down into the box. In the middle of the box sat a white guitar pick attacked to a leather cord. I pulled the pick from the box and turned it over to reveal my initials E.A.C. on the back. She looked away shyly as I looked down at her. This was the best gift I had ever received.

"Bella…this is great. Thank you so much," I said, leaning over and kissing her lips again lightly. I saw her face blush even in the dim light the lantern cast over us. I lifted the leather cord over my head, pulling it down and around my neck. I looked down at it, adjusting it so it hung in the middle of my chest.

"It's not much but…." I leaned over and kissed her more firmly, quieting her from putting down her effort. I hated when she did that. She was always putting herself down.

I gently cupped her face in my hands and scooted towards her while sucking her bottom lip into my mouth. She let out a soft moan, the gentle sound causing my eyes to roll back into my head. I gently bit down on her lip and she thrust her hands up into my hair, tugging, and my head began to spin. I kissed her more feverishly; our kisses were hard and wet, passionate. Her hands in my hair, the way her skin felt, her warm body pressed against me was nearly more than I could handle, I wanted more.

I ran my hands from her face down her shoulders, massaging them gently, then slowly down her back and to her sides, running them up and down slowly. She made her way to her knees, never breaking our kiss, and slowly climbed into my lap, straddling me. She squeezed me tightly with her thighs, getting me more excited than I could have imagined. She pulled harder on my hair as I kissed her chin, her jaw and up her jawbone to her ear.

I blew into her ear and she arched her back slightly, groaning into my neck as I sucked on her earlobe shortly and then lightly kissed the skin underneath her ear. She squeezed me again with her thighs and I could feel myself beginning to get harder. I shook with excitement as she kissed my neck gently, making her way back to my mouth and kissing me hard. I grabbed her hips and pulled her into me closer, feeling her against my growing hard on. I groaned loudly as I buried my head into her hair, smelling the delicious scent of her shampoo.

"Bella…" I breathed her name heavily trying to steady my breathing before speaking again but failing miserably.

"Bella….." I moaned this time, unable to control myself, pulling her harder against me, feeling her warmth as she continued to kiss my neck. She reached for my shirt, pulling up but my conscious sudden woke and I pulled back quickly. She looked up at me, a look of confusion and hurt flashing in her dark eyes.

"Bella, I…..if…we can't..." I stammered trying to focus on the sentence that was jumbled in my head. I couldn't think straight, I was on sensory overload. She tilted her head to the side, pushing her bottom lip out in a pout.

"Don't you want me?" she said pushing back slightly, but I grabbed her hips and held her in place.

"YES!" I said quickly, tightening my grip on her so she could not move. "That….that seems to be the problem. I do want you… more than you know. It is taking everything I have in me not to rip off your clothes. I don't want you to feel pressured into this because it is my birthday, Bella. I want you to do this because you love me," I said looking down and sighing. _Why did I just say that? Damn it, you shouldn't say the L word so soon._

She was silent so I looked back up into her eyes and she smiled at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, leaned in and kissed me sweetly before pulling away. _Did I love Bella_? I questioned myself for a moment while I stared into her eyes, waiting for her to say something. The silence felt like forever before I spoke again.

"Bella…..I don't want this just be about…I mean it isn't about….at least it isn't for me. I…I…" I stumbled through the sentence clumsily, the last words hanging on my tongue, unsure if I should let them escape "I.…I love you, Bella." I sputtered quickly. Her eyes widened in surprise for a moment, then relaxed again.

She said nothing, leaned over and kissed my lips softly. She slowly kissed my jawbone, leaving a trail of wet kisses towards my ear; my eyes closed savoring every warm kiss she planted on my jaw. She reached my ear, stopped for a moment, her warm breath washing over my ear, making me to shudder.

"I…love…you…Edward," she said slowly in my ear before bringing her face back to mine, staring me in the eyes.

I reached up and slowly cupped her face in my hands, bringing her closer to me and kissing her. We began again this time more slowly, kissing, touching each other gently, before she gently tugged on my shirt again, and this time I obeyed and she pulled the shirt over my head, my necklace falling against my chest. She kissed my bare shoulder, along my collarbone and up to my other shoulder. Her warm lips on my bare skin was enough to send me into a tizzy.

I closed my eyes, holding myself back, the anticipation getting harder to bear, letting her kiss me slowly across my chest. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my mouth salivating at the very thought of her mouth on me. She lifted her face to look at me, lust flashing across them. I kissed her hungrily; yearning for her body, as she gently ran her nails up my chest and over my shoulders.

I was too nervous to move or even touch her, not wanting to push her further than she wanted to go. I sat still while she kissed my chest slowly, leaving warm, wet trails along my collarbone. The urge to touch her overtook me as I ran my hands up her sides grazing the side swell of her breast. Her shirt lifted revealing a sliver of smooth skin on her stomach. I ran the tips of my fingers back down her sides, daring to touch the bare skin. She shivered against my fingers, a small moan escaping her soft pink lips.

My conscious kept screaming at me to be a gentleman while the teenage hormones ran ramped through my body giving me quite an internal fight. She closed her eyes as I ran my fingers along the soft smooth skin of her stomach following her waistband from side to side, shivering yet again. I leaned forward, kissing her now exposed neck, kissing down her slender throat, over her collarbone and down right above the middle of her breast.

I looked up at her, waiting for some sort of sign it was ok to precede. She grabbed my head, pressing my face into her chest; I rested my cheek against her chest and listened to the loud thud of her heart. Thump, thump, thump, her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest. She held me to her chest for a moment, her heart slowing and she pulled away.

She reached up to her shirt, unbuttoning the top button, making her way slowly down to the other buttons. I swallowed hard, trying to focus on her face, not daring to stare directly at her chest that was nearly visible now. She licked her lips seductively as she slowly pulled the shirt back from her chest, revealing a lacy red bra, pulling it off and tossing it to the edge of the blanket. I couldn't help myself at this point from looking at her now bare chest, her round breasts staring me in the face.

She reached for my hand, lifted it slowly to her chest, and placed my hand palm down on her right breast. I looked up at her, a wide grin spread across her face, and I squeezed gently. Instinctively my other hand came up and cupped her other breast. I felt sweat began to bead at my brow; my breathing grew heavier as I groped her slowly, small moans coming from her soft lips. I pulled her towards me, slowly laying her down onto the blanket until I was leaning over her on my hands.

She ran her hands up my arms, then to my shoulders and up into my hair, a groan flew from my mouth in surprise. She pulled me down closer to her as she looked up at me, looking absolutely irresistible. I lowered myself gently on top of her, baring my weight on my arms so I didn't crush her, and kissed her passionately as she ran her nails up and down my back. I had never felt like this before, she was driving me crazy.

She ran her fingertips down my sides, across my stomach and up my chest as we kissed. She hesitated for a moment then made her way back down my chest and to my stomach, hovering near the top of my jeans before she slipped two fingers underneath the waistband of my boxers. My breathing hitched as I felt her soft fingers against my lower stomach, tracing the waistband of my boxers. My arms started to shake and I feared they would give out soon from pure pleasure.

She grabbed for the button on my jeans, quickly unbuttoning it and pulling down, unzipping my pants, releasing my rock hard erection from its cloth prison. I released the breath that I had been holding. She lightly traced circles over the thin cloth of my boxers, occasionally grazing my erection with her fingertips. The small touches made me flinch with excitement. The voice in my head that had once been holding me back was now a faint memory. I couldn't think of anything but her fingers touching me slightly with ever circle she made. I shifted and pushed myself into her hand more, her hand pressed against me.

I pulled back, realizing what I had done, but she looked up at me, a grin on her face. She quickly slipped her hand into my boxers and I shivered with surprise as she wrapped her hand around me. Bella pulled me down with her free hand and kissed me, opening her mouth slightly and jutting her tongue in and out of my mouth. I wasn't sure what to focus on, her mouth or her hand. She began to pump her hand up and down my length and I suddenly grew hot, even the cool night air against my bare back wasn't helping to cool me down.

My mind clouded over, unable to think of anything but her hand. She continued to kiss me, darting her tongue in and our of my mouth and pumping her hand faster as my eyes rolled back into my head. My arms shook with weakness, threatening to give out, I fought to focus but my mind spun out of control as I teetered on the edge of ecstasy. She suddenly broke my hazy thoughts with her voice.

"Edward," she breathed into my mouth.

"Hmmm?" was all I could manage.

"I love you," she whispered so low I almost couldn't hear her. My conscious kicked in again, making me feel like a complete jerk for even doing this with Bella, the sweetest most innocent girl I had ever met.

I suddenly felt embarrassed so I pulled back from Bella and rolled over onto my side facing away from her. _What had I done? After my talk with Carlisle today and promised him it wasn't like that with Bella, I just made it that way with her_. Bella scooted closer to me wrapping her arm around me as I curled up on the blanket and zipped my pants back up.

"Edward is everything ok?" she said worriedly. She pulled on my arm but I didn't budge.

"Yes, Bella…we just shouldn't have done that." I said regretfully, not wanting to look her in the eye.

"What? I thought you….I wanted to…," she said still pulling on my arm. I got to my feet quickly, keeping my back to her the whole time. I searched the ground for my shirt; finding it near the edge of the blanket and slipping it back on over my head. She stood there silently but I couldn't look at her, I was far too embarrassed to look her in the eye.

"We just shouldn't have done that…." I stood looking out into the dark woods. She put her hand on my shoulder and I reached up and grabbed her hand, holding it for a moment before I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it gently. I turned around slowly to face her. I hung my head and pulled her into my chest, kissing the top of her head.

"I love you, Bella, but I think we should wait," I said gently, hoping she understood. I felt her nod her head into my chest. I released my grip on her and she pulled away from me, looking up into my eyes. She smiled up at me, letting me know she was ok. She turned around, picked up the lantern, and folded the blanket quickly, laying it across her arm. I grabbed her hand and we walked back to camp together slowly. We got back to camp, and I pulled her into me, kissing her passionately before letting her go back to her tent.

I watched her walk back to her tent before she turned to look at me, smiling and ducking inside the tent. I stood outside my tent for a moment, watching her tent before slipping inside my own. I changed quickly into a pair of basketball shorts before leaning back against my pillows.

I wasn't sure if we were ready for the next step in our relationship even though Bella seemed ready. I was nervous, especially since the last time I had slept with someone she ended up pregnant. I wasn't about to rush this relationship, we did have plenty of time for that after all. I closed my eyes and tried to push back the thought of my first time with Rosalie, drunk and incoherent. I hadn't remembered any of it, just the morning after waking up next to her half-naked.

I shuddered at the thought of being naked with Rosalie, doing the same things with her as I had done with Bella and the thought nearly made me vomit. I rolled over on my side, listened to the water flowing behind me, and the two boys snoring loudly next to me lull me into a dreamless uneasy sleep.


	14. Misunderstandings

**I do not own the characters...they belong to SM. Reviews are awesome!!!**

**Chapter 14**

**Bella**

I crept back into my tent quietly, careful not to wake Rosalie or Alice. I dressed slowly into my pajamas and climbed carefully into my sleeping bag. I snuggled down into the warm flannel fabric and closed my eyes. A wave of sleepiness washed over me but I fought the sudden urge to drift to sleep. I opened my eyes as wide as I could, staring at the wall of the tent. A strong gust of wind blew into the tent, shaking the walls violently then coming to a halt as fast as it has occurred.

I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling, playing back the memory in the forest. Edward had acted so weird, so not how I had pictured. I thought he wanted me, wanted to make love to me but he had pushed me away. I couldn't figure out what I had done or said that was wrong. I shouldn't have told him I loved him, it probably scared him. Maybe it was the fact I was being too aggressive.

I tossed and turned in my sleeping bag, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping to God it wasn't something that I had done, hoping I hadn't ruined things between us with my out of control hormones. I grabbed one of the pillows behind my head and pulled it down over my face. I could just end it now, put myself out of my misery. I shook my head at my overly dramatic fit and pulled the pillow off my head, the night's cool air rushing into my lungs. I inhaled a deep breath; the cold air burned my dry lungs. I decided sleep was better than thinking horrible thoughts about Edward wanting to leave me so I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

-------

I woke up the next morning to Emmilie crying. I sighed heavily, keeping my eyes shut, knowing it couldn't have been more than seven am. I covered my eyes for a moment before sitting straight up in my sleeping bag. I slowly opened one eye and looked out the netted window of the tent, the sun peaking over the tops of the trees. I yawned loudly, stretched and opened my other eye. I opened the sleeping bag and climbed out hesitantly, the cool morning air hitting my bare feet making me think twice about getting up.

I heard Alice's voice and then Esme's coming from outside the tent along with the clanking of pots and pans. I slowly pulled on a pair of dark jeans, a black tank top and my black converse sneakers. I grabbed a sweatshirt from my bag just in case, slipping it on over my tank top and headed out of the tent.

I threw my hood over my head in an attempt to shield my eyes from the blinding sun, slowly making my way to the table. I took a seat next to Alice who seemed to be the only other one up besides Esme. I looked up at Esme who was squatting over the fire pit cooking something that smelled delicious. Emmilie was in her playpen playing with a small doll, giggling to herself. Alice walked over to the playpen and pulled Emmilie out, kissing her plump rosy cheek.

Esme got to her feet, carrying a plate to the table, setting it down in the middle. I heard a deep voice from behind me and I turned around to see Carlisle walking with Rosalie over to the table. Carlisle took the seat next to Alice's chair and folded his hands on the table. Esme walked around the table to Carlisle, leaned across his shoulder and kissed his cheek sweetly. I sighed at their open affection for each other. I wished I could be open about my relationship with Edward and for whatever reason he wanted to keep it quiet for now.

I saw a quick movement out of the corner of my eye and I jerked my head to see Edward coming out of his tent, his bronze hair disheveled as usual. He strolled out of the tent sleepily wearing a wrinkled white t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. He rubbed his eyes as he stumbled to the table, grabbing a chair next to Esme and dropping down into it. He leaned his elbows onto the table, placing his head in his hands and looked down.

Jasper and Emmett came running to the table, Emmett taking a chair next to Edward, plopping himself down so hard it made the table shake. He grabbed a paper plate from the table and began piling food onto his plate as Esme brought another plate to the table. I sat next to Alice and watched as everyone at the table served themselves food. Esme looked up at me, noticing I wasn't eating and furrowed her brow.

"Bella, dear, aren't you hungry?" she said laying her fork onto her plate. I smiled at her as best I could.

"Oh, yeah, I was just spacing out, I am sorry," I said reaching for a plate, putting as little food on my plate as I could get away with. I looked up at Esme who was sitting next to Edward, but he had his head down.

In fact, I was not hungry at all; I was panicking on the inside. He hadn't looked at me at all this morning. I bowed my head, and filled my fork with food, pulling it to my mouth, the whole while watching Edward from underneath my hair. He sat with his head bowed, eyes focused on his plate, shoveling food into his mouth. _Damn it. Why won't he look at me?_

Something was wrong because he never acted like that. My heart began to race quickly, my breathing became heavy and ragged and my arms began to feel numb. I chewed my food as quickly as I could so I could clear my plate and get back into the safety and privacy of the tent. I got to my feet quickly, my knees wobbled slightly, and walked as slowly as I could to the trash can. I gripped the pole of the tent for stability, waiting for my knees to stop shaking and made my way back to my tent.

Once inside the tent, I sat on my sleeping bag, taking long deep breaths, calming myself. I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on some happy memory, a memory of my mother. I smiled to myself when I heard the noise of the zipper of the tent door. Alice appeared in the doorway, a look of concern spread across her face. She bit her lip and sat down in front of me on my sleeping bag.

"Bella are you ok? You don't look too good. What's wrong?" she said gently squeezing my knee.

"It's nothing. I just think Edward is mad at me," I said holding back the tears that threatened to spill out and stain my cheeks.

"What?" she nearly yelled.

"Shhhh, be quiet Alice!" I whispered and she slapped a hand across her mouth. "It's just something that happened last night."

"What do you mean? What happened last night?" she whispered.

"I met Edward out in the woods after everyone went to sleep," I said as she nodded for me to continue. "Well, things got kind of…hot and heavy and well…" I trailed off. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Bella did you have sex with Edward?" she squealed. I slammed my hand over her mouth and gave her a stern look. I pulled my hand from her mouth and she relaxed again.

"No!" I protested. "It's not like I didn't want to though," I said looking down into my lap.

"What? He turned you down?" she said shocked.

"He just said he didn't want it to be like that, about sex. He said he wanted to wait." I said twisting my hands nervously in my lap.

"Wow," she said looking around the tent, thinking. "I guess I am not really surprised by that though. He is a gentleman, a rare breed he is. To be honest, I am not sure he has ever had sex. From what I heard thought, Emmett says he does well with the ladies but I have never heard anything about him sleeping with any of them."

"Also…I kind of told him I loved him…" I said nervously, looking down into my lap again.

"You did WHAT?" she squealed again. "What did he say?"

"Technically, he said it first." I said twisting my hands in my lap again, biting my lip. Alice was about to say something when Rosalie appeared behind her and she looked into my room, smiling.

"Hey you two are you leaving me out of the girl talk?" she said in a high-pitched voice as Alice turned around.

Alice turned to face me, giving me a look saying we will talk later, and turned back to Rosalie. Alice immediately changed the subject, talking about a pair of jeans she had seen in a magazine that she was dying to show her. They left me in my room alone, for which I was grateful. I curled up into a ball on my sleeping bag, closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep with tears spilling out over my cheeks.

I must have slept nearly the whole morning and into the afternoon because when I woke up everyone was at the table again eating something. I slowly made my way to the table and sat at the empty spot next to Jasper and Emmett. Emmett patted me on the back gently and leaned forward to look into my face.

"Bella, you don't look so good. Are you ok?" he said chewing on a sandwich he had on his plate. I looked around the table and everyone was staring at me.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well," I said glancing over at Edward. Our eyes met for a split second and he immediately darted his eyes back down to his plate quickly. I grabbed a sandwich that was on a plate in the middle of the table and bit into it. If he was going to be like this, fine but I wasn't going to let him ruin my time.

I ate my sandwich quickly and grabbed for another, my appetite had definitely returned since this morning. I joined in a conversation with Emmett and Jasper, laughing at Emmett's lame jokes he read online a couple days before.

Alice and I decided to go swimming in the river so we ran back to our tents and grabbed our bathing suits. Alice had bought me a suit before the trip, which I didn't want to wear, but you don't tell Alice no. She shoved it back into my hands as I pushed it back towards her.

"Bella, I spent good money on this suit, besides its cute," she said shoving it back at me. _Damn this girl really knew how to lay on a guilt trip! _I grabbed the suit from her and held it out to look at it. It was a small red t cutout one piece. It was more revealing that I was comfortable with but I would do it for her. She had chosen to wear a bright pink bikini with black flowers that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

We changed into our suits and I slipped a white tank top and a pair of cut off shorts over it. As long as no one else had to see me in it, I didn't care. We came back out of the tent, Alice carrying a big bamboo weave beach bag, wearing a large straw sunhat and a black sarong around her waist. Jasper and Emmett looked up from the campfire where they were sitting roasting marshmallows.

"Hey Al, where ya going?" Emmett said lifting the nearly charred marshmallow into his mouth. She pushed her hat up to look at him and smiled.

"Well Emmett, I am wearing a bathing suit aren't I? That usually means swimming," she said sarcastically. He laughed loudly and got to his feet.

"I want to go too." He took off running in the direction of his tent. "Let me get my trunks," he said disappearing into the tent. Jasper ran after him and they both reappeared a couple minutes later, shirtless and in swim shorts.

I looked around the camp for the rest of the group but decided I didn't care where Edward was. We trampled off into the woods, heading towards the river. Emmett led the way since he had gone this way before, and we ended up at a clearing with two large rocks. I nervously took off my shorts and tank top and I heard a short gasp. I looked up and saw Emmett staring at my bare flesh.

"Dang Bella, you look kinda hot!" he said loudly. I blushed furiously and Alice and Jasper erupting in laughter.

"Umm, thanks Emmett," I said wrapping my arms around myself and walking across the small rocks that led to the water. I put my toe out to touch the water and it freezing was cold. I walked further into the water slowly, letting the water rise to my ankles. Emmett appeared at my side, wading in the shallow water, looking out over the river.

"Come on Bella, you aren't chicken are you?" he said challenging me.

"No!" I spat, daring to walk further into the water, the cold water rising to mid-calf. I stopped and turned my back towards him, the cold water stinging my pale white legs. He nodded at me, urging me to go in further. I turned back around, looking down into the cold water, contemplating my next move.

I heard a rustling noise behind me but before I could turn around, I was in Emmett's big arms heading right for the water. He held me tight as he ran towards the middle of the river and plunged into the cold water. The water was so cold it nearly knocked the wind out of me, and when I surfaced, I took a huge breath. Emmett surfaced a second later, laughing hysterically. I splashed water in his face and scowled at him.

"Emmett that was NOT funny!" I said, glaring at him. My wet hair clung to my face as I tried to push it away, frustrated as all hell. Alice ran into the river, splashing water all over, jumping in and landing right next to me. She surfaced quickly, giggling and waited for Jasper to make his entrance. Jasper ran in after her, landing near her. He reached out for her, wrapping her in his arms, and kissing her passionately.

I felt a bit embarrassed watching such an intimate moment between the two so I looked at Emmett who seemed to share my thoughts and I splashed him quickly. He caught me off guard, lifted me up and out of the water, and throwing me a few feet away. I played with Emmett for a while, Jasper and Alice joining soon after. Eventually the cold water was no longer painful to my skin that had now adjusted to the temperature.

We played around in the river for a awhile before Emmett started complaining about how hungry he was. I rolled my eyes at him, he was always hungry. I followed them out of the water and I stood on the bank with my arms wrapped around my body, shivering violently. Alice threw me a large towel, which I immediately wrapped around myself, rubbing my arms, desperately trying to warm myself. My wet hair clung to my skin, as I pulled it up and over the towel away from my skin.

I grabbed my clothes that I had placed earlier on the rock, slipping on my flip-flops and followed behind the rest of the group. We got back to camp and immediately Emmett ran for the tent with the food and we all laughed. Alice and I went into our tents to change for dinner, dressing in casual t-shirt and tank tops.

Esme prepared dinner a couple hours later, chicken, baked potatoes and corn, which made Emmett nearly ecstatic. We all joined each other back at the table, the first time I had seen Edward since this morning at breakfast. Where he had been hiding, I will never know, but I did know that he still wasn't looking at me, which made my blood boil. I clinched my fists, and pursed my lips as Esme said a small prayer over the dinner.

Once dinner was over, he took off to his tent alone; a dim light appeared a moment later in his room. I shook my head, excused myself from the table and stomped off to my tent, Alice tailing behind me. She climbed into the tent behind me as I sat down on my sleeping bag.

"Bella, why don't you just talk to him?" she said quietly.

"He won't even look at me Alice!" I said squealing, surprised at the pitch of my voice.

"Fine, if you won't talk to him, I will!" she said stomping off through the door. I tried to grab her but she was quicker than I had realized, slipping out of the tent in a matter of seconds. I quickly got to my feet, running after her as she headed towards Edward's tent, yanking on her arm but it didn't slow her.

"Alice!" I hissed at her but it was no use. She pulled open the door and ducked into Edward's room. I stood outside the tent as I heard her whispering something through gritted teeth.

I looked around the camp, Carlisle and Esme were standing near the back of the Hummer rummaging around in a box for something, Rosalie and Emmett were making out near the campfire and Jasper was sitting at the table reading a magazine. I stood nervously, wringing my hands together, waiting for Alice to reappear. About two minutes later, she reappeared, grabbed my arm and pulled me into the tent. She dragged me in behind her and down onto the floor. I nearly fell on my face but caught myself on Edward's table.

"Edward," she said looking at him, "Bella," she said turning back to me, "you two need to have a serious talk and right now," she said heading for the door. "Don't come out until things are fixed," she said zipping the door up behind her and disappearing. I turned hesitantly towards Edward, who was looking down at the book in his lap.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and waited for him to speak but he just sat there silently, running his hands over the soft leather of his notebook, never looking at me. I pursed my lips, trying to look upset but failing. I was not mad, I was hurt, and I was confused. I needed answers and I needed them now. He owed me an explanation.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked accusingly. His head shot up quickly, a flash of pain in his eyes.

"Bella, why in the hell would you think I was mad at you?" he said seriously.

"You have been avoiding me all day," I said aggressively.

"I thought you were mad at me," he said quickly. "I thought you were mad about last night, you know, because I wanted to stop," he said looking back down to his notebook in his hands.

"I am not mad, just really confused apparently," I said honestly. I suddenly felt very naïve about my whole relationship with Edward. I looked out the side window, tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't hold them back any longer and tears streamed down my cheeks. He lifted his head again to look at me and when he saw my tears, he reached for me.

I hesitated for a moment, feeling embarrassed at my misunderstanding of his actions, and I slowly scooted towards him. He grabbed my arm, apparently not happy with my current pace and pulled me into his lap. He hugged me tightly to his chest for a moment as my tears spilled over my cheeks and down into my lap leaving wet spots on my jeans. He pushed me back and wiped the tears from my cheeks, his face twitching to keep his calm composure. I sniffed as I brushed more tears from my cheek. I had to break the tension, I couldn't pretend anymore.

"I love you, Edward." My voice cracked into a high pitch tone. I stopped suddenly and swallowed hard, trying to regain my normal voice. "I am sorry I was so pushy last night, I just thought you wanted to," I whispered. He pulled me towards him again, hugging me tightly and shook his head.

"God, Bella, I am so sorry if I made you think I didn't care about you," he said rocking me back and forth in an effort to sooth me. "It was me, it was all me," he said softly into my hair, before kissing my forehead.

"I am just so frustrated, Edward. Trying to hide this relationship is really wearing me out," I said. I pulled back and looked up into his beautiful green eyes. He mused for a moment, staring at me the whole time.

"I know Bella, I know and I am sorry to make you hide it. I just wasn't sure how my family would react to this whole thing, you know. I don't exactly have the best reputation right now but Carlisle and Esme already know and they understand." I shook my head in confusion.

"Did you tell them?" I questioned.

"No, Carlisle just…knows things. He said it was the way we looked at each other, I don't know. He is very intuitive thought I will give him that. He said he thought you would be good for me and that it was ok with them, which surprised me. I will tell the rest of them tonight, unless you want to tell them together, " he said brushing my hair out of my face. I nodded softly and he mumbled something in agreement.

He got to his feet, pulling me up next to him, and headed out of the tent. We approached the table slowly and Alice immediately turned to us from his seat at the table next to Jasper, a look of anxiety on her face. Edward reached back, grabbed my hand, and led me to the table. Alice's eyes grew in surprise at the public affection between us and she giggled quickly. Jasper was still reading a magazine and he looked up when he heard her giggle.

"What is so funny?" he said as she pointed in our direction. Jasper followed the direction of her finger and saw us walking towards him, his eyes nearly popping from his head.

"You two?" he said surprised and wide-eyed. Edward chuckled and nodded at Jasper's question. "No shit?" he chuckled and winked at me. I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter quickly.

Esme set a box down on the table next to Alice, Carlisle following behind her. Carlisle settled next to Esme and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They both looked at Edward then down at me and they both smiled. Alice squealed loudly when she saw their expressions, wrapped her arms around Jasper's neck and pulled him into her. Emmett got to his feet and dragged Rosalie behind him towards the table, standing behind Alice.

"What are you squealing about over here, Miss Piggy," he said jokingly, poking Alice. She just giggled again and looked at us standing at the head of the table holding hands. Edward let my hand go and draped his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into his side. Emmett looked at us for a moment, contemplating the gesture.

"Wait, wait, wait," he said scratching his head. Rosalie's eyes grew and an odd expression flew across her face. "Are you and Bella like….. boning?" he said casually and Esme gasped.

"Emmett, that was rather rude," Carlisle said quickly and Emmett chuckled.

"I am sorry for being rude, Esme, I am just trying to figure out what is going on," he said shrugging. He pulled Rosalie into his side, squeezing her tightly.

"No, we are not BONING," Edward spit at him. "Bella is my girlfriend, Emmett," he said pulling me closer still. Emmett chuckled again.

"Right on, Bro," he said laughing, kissing Rosalie on her cheek and she smiled as well.

"She's pretty hot in a bathing suit," he said laughing, Edward's face jerking up quickly and Rosalie elbowed him in the ribs hard. Edward glared at Emmett who laughed again even harder.

"Well, congratulations to the both of you," Carlisle said softly. Esme smiled at me and I blushed profusely.

"Thank you," I said looking down in the dirt, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest. He had made it official, Edward was my boyfriend, no more hiding, no more sneaking around. He was mine, and I was his. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head gently, shivers running down my spine.

We gathered around the big bonfire that Jasper and Emmett had made yesterday, the flames rising high above us, lighting the dark forest that surrounded us. I grabbed a small blanket from my tent and nestled myself in between Edward's legs as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

Alice had asked Carlisle and Esme to tell the story of how they met years ago so we all sat in front of the bonfire and listened to them tell their own personal fairytale. They had gone to the same college and were introduced at a party that Esme's roommate had thrown. Esme told of how handsome he had looked that night, knowing that she would marry him someday. Carlisle smiled widely at this confession, leaned over, and kissed Esme gently on the lips. They always spoke so lovingly about each other and I hoped that one day I could be like that with my husband.

Carlisle and Esme told stories of Emmett and Edward when they were younger, how Alice used to dress Edward up in her clothes and put make up on him. Jasper and Emmett laughed hysterically at Edward who was, for the first time I had ever seen him, embarrassed. I knew that little girl was evil. We all looked down at Emmilie who had fallen asleep in Esme's arms, her tiny little body cuddled up into Esme's chest.

Carlisle and Esme decided it was time for them to put her to bed so they said goodnight and disappeared into their tent.

The rest of us sat by the fire, watching it slowly die down, the flames dancing across our faces. I laid my head back on Edward's shoulder and looked up into the sky, the stars brighter than normal. He followed my gaze up into the night sky and he brought his lips down into my hair, lightly brushing them again my ear and whispered softly.

"I brought my telescope if you wanted to get a better look," he said, a smile playing on his beautiful lips. I leaned up, kissed his delicious lips sweetly and nodded. He helped me to my feet and disappeared into his tent as I waited near the fire, snuggling into my warm blanket.

He returned a few seconds later with his backpack and a lantern in hand. He grabbed my hand and led me into the woods and I followed him into the dark woods, unable to see clearly, nearly falling three times. I had never been this way and was unsure of where exactly we were going.

"Where are we going?" I said quickening my pace to keep up with him. He said nothing, just pulled me along by the hand into the darkness. I heard a wolf cry off in the distance and I shuddered.

I was starting to get nervous when we suddenly reached a clearing the trees. It was a grassy open meadow lined with tall pine trees. He led me into the middle of the meadow, dropped his bag and looked up into the dark blue sky. The sky was dotted with the occasional cloud, but nothing that would hinder our view of the stars.

Edward dropped to his knees, opened the backpack and began putting together the telescope. I spread my blanket on the soft green grass and sat down with my legs crossed in front of me, my arms outstretched behind me, propping me up. I watched him work quickly, putting the telescope together then setting it in front of me. He sat down next to me, smiled and kissed my cheek quickly.

I grabbed for the telescope and looked through the lens, adjusting it to see more clearly. I always loved watching the stars with him, he always had interesting stories that I hadn't heard before about the constellations. He lay back on the blanket, looked up into the sky and began to tell me stories. I listened to him go on about Orion's Belt, leaning my head on his shoulder as he spoke. He wrapped his arms around me, cuddling me into his chest and I could feel his heart beating steadily. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the beating of his heart and I must have drifted off because I woke up and all was quiet but Edward's heavy breathing.

A soft breeze rolled the tall grass around us, making me shiver and I realized I was still in the meadow lying in Edward's arms. I moved ever so slowly so I wouldn't disturb him and I looked up at his face. He was lying on his side, his right arm draped around my waist, his beautiful eyes closed and his perfect lips were slightly parted. I was in awe of his beauty, even when he was asleep he was beautiful. I watched his eyes flutter and a soft noise slowly escaping from his lips. He must have been dreaming.

I reached up, ran my hands through his thick hair and he moaned softly, a smile appearing on his lips. He lay still for a moment, his eyes still closed and he pulled me in closer. He bent his head to kiss my forehead and I snuggled underneath his chin, his body so warm. I hadn't felt this safe in so long, I missed it. He yawned loudly, stretching his arms over his head as he rolled onto his back. I leaned over onto his chest and looked up at him as he stared up at the sky.

"Guess we kinda fell asleep," he said chuckling as he held his arm out in front of his eyes, pushing the light on his watch so he could check the time. "Oh man, it's after midnight," he said dropping his arm to his side. I sat up, feeling a bit drowsy, and I rubbed my eyes to wake myself up so we could head back to camp. He dismantled the telescope, placing it carefully back into the backpack as I folded up the blanket and grabbed the lantern. We didn't talk the whole way back; he just held my hand and smiled.

We arrived back at the campsite soon after, the fire still burning with Jasper and Emmett sitting on logs in front of it. They were sitting on opposite sides of the fire, both holding sticks and poking the fire. They looked up at us as we came towards them, both looking slightly startled.

"Man, you guys have been gone for hours," Emmett said throwing a small stick into the fire.

"We fell asleep while looking at the stars," I yawned. I rubbed my eyes but I couldn't help to keep them open.

"Suuuure you did," Emmett said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed softly.

"I think I am going to sit out here with them for awhile," Edward said letting go of my hand. I nodded at him, leaned up, kissed him, and headed back to my tent.

I stopped at the door, turning to look back as Edward sat down next to Jasper, who patted him on the back. They both smiled at each other, and Edward laughed at something Jasper had said. He turned and saw me standing at the tent, a crooked smile spread across his lips. I sighed as I smiled back at him and ducked into the tent. I saw Rosalie sitting up in her sleeping bag, glaring at me. I smiled at her but she said nothing and just kept glaring. I hurriedly shuffled to my sleeping bag, and climbed in.

I wasn't completely sure but something was wrong with Rosalie. She had been acting strange every since we had gotten here and now she was glaring at me. Maybe she was having a bad week or maybe she was nervous about going to college. Something was just odd about her lately. I decided it wasn't worth the contemplation and climbed into my sleeping bag, it wasn't my problem anyways. I rested my head on my pillow and closed my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

I woke up to harsh whispers coming from outside my tent. I rolled over onto my side, pulling a watch from my bag on next to me. It was nearly three am. I groaned quietly, rolled onto my back and closed my eyes to go back asleep. The whispers started again and my eyes shot open quickly. I growled, and sat upright to look out the netted window.

I could hardly see anything because it was so dark, so I rubbed my eyes and looked again in the direction of the voices. At first, I saw nothing but as I looked closer, I saw two people standing close to where the bonfire had been burning. I blinked my eyes, trying to focus on the two figures whispering in the darkness. I sat still for a moment, hoping to catch what they were saying, but it was all jumbled.

I could make out a male voice, who was obviously annoyed, and a female voice who sounded like she was talking through gritted teeth. I watched the shadows in the dark, barely making out their outlines, stand a foot or so from each other. The male voice suddenly grew louder, more irritated as one of the figures reached over to touch the other. The shadow I assumed to be female stepped closer, the two shadows becoming one. It must have just been Rosalie and Emmett arguing about something.

"Go to bed you two," I hissed out the window and the figures parted quickly, running off. I lay back down and closed my eyes. A few seconds later, I heard the zipper of the tent door, Rosalie shuffling around then the zipper again. I listened to her fumble around with her sleeping bag, and then all was silent again. I shook my head and fell asleep again.

I woke up again to the light tapping of the rain on the roof of the tent. I turned my head quickly, a sharp pain shooting down my neck and into my back. I sighed and figured I must have slept wrong. What a morning already, it was raining and I had a stiff neck, Great. I looked out the window, the ground was completely soaked and the sun was hiding behind the dark clouds that hovered overhead.

Alice's head popped around the corner, a wide smile on her face. She plopped herself down at the end of my sleeping bag. She crossed her legs and put her hands in her lap, staring back at me. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and yawned at her. I hated the fact she was always so chipper and awake so early in the mornings.

"Good Morning Bella!" she squealed. I cringed at the pitch of her voice and tried to smile at her.

"Good Morning, Alice. Why are you in such a good mood?" I said unzipping my sleeping bag so I could get up.

"It's a great day!" she said bouncing in her spot.

"Alice, it's raining," I said as if it wasn't already obvious. "That means we can't really go outside."

"I know but I love when it rains, it puts me in a good mood," she said smiling. "Actually, Mom and Dad want us to head home early, they heard on the radio that a storm is coming in and should be here tonight. So you better get up and start packing," she said getting up and disappearing around the corner.

I grabbed some clothes from my bag near the side of my sleeping bag and slipped on a pair of jeans and a Led Zepplin t-shirt. I pulled on a black sweater that was sitting at the edge of sleeping bag and pulled it on. I unzipped the door and peaked outside, Esme and Carlisle were dressed in raincoats and carrying boxes into the back of the hummer. Edward and Emmett appeared from their tent carrying their bags to the jeep, tossing them into the back quickly. I helped Esme and Rosalie pack up the kitchen supplies as guys took down their tents.

Once we had finished packing and the guys had dismantled all of the tents and packed them up, they covered the trailer that held all the equipment. I climbed into the backseat of the jeep, Edward following behind me. I snuggled into his side as he draped his arm across my shoulders. I was so tired and my neck hurt, I was ready to go home.

I fell asleep in the car almost immediately after we had taken off. I was in the middle of a bad dream about Edward. He was upset and yelling at me. I had never seen him so upset. Then I heard his soft sweet voice pulling me from my nightmare and back to reality. I was still in his arms except when I looked around we were back in Forks on the road that would lead us up to the Cullen house.

It was nearly noon by the time we pulled into the garage of the Cullen house. It was raining harder here than it had been in the mountains and we scrambled to get everything unpacked and into the house. I grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder and ran as quickly as I could across the dirt driveway. The bag fell down my shoulder and as I tried to pull it, back up I had ran into a puddle, drenching my feet. I kept running but my wet shoes lost their traction on the muddy driveway that I slipped and fell. Edward was right behind me and he grabbed my bag with one hand and helped me up with the other. I brushed off my now muddy pants as Edward pulled me towards the house.

We got up to the house and I dropped my bag in the entry way completely soaked. I took my shoes off and placed them near the door, hoping they would dry soon. My wet hair hung in my face, small water droplets falling to the floor. Alice, Emmett and Esme came in behind me. Alice looked at me, a disgusted look crossed her face and she grabbed my arm and pulled me up the stairs. I grabbed for Edward but I was already around the corner and climbing the stairs.

"Bella, we have to get you out of these wet clothes," she said pulling me into her room and into her closet. She sat me down on the bench near the island and I watched her as she rummaged around her closet.

"Alice, I don't want anything fancy, please. I just want something comfortable," I said looking at the shirt she had pulled from the top rack. It was a ratty old Washington State t-shirt.

"It's Dad's old shirt from college," she said handing it to me. Why had I never seen that before? I grabbed the shirt, peeled my wet shirt up and over my head and pulling the t-shirt down over my chest. She then threw a pair of yoga pants at me as I slipped out of my wet jeans. She grabbed my wet clothes and disappeared out of the closet. I sat there a moment and sighed. Esme stepped into the closet smiling and holding out a white terrycloth towel.

"Here you go, sweetie," she said sitting down next to me. I grabbed the towel from her and began to dry my wet hair that was clinging to my head. Esme patted my knee gently and looked at me, concern in her eyes.

"Bella, I want to let you know that I think it is great that you and Edward are together," she said softly. I blushed a bit, it was really odd talking to someone's aunt when I was dating her nephew.

"Thank you, Esme, but I don't really know why everyone is making such a big deal out of it." I said rubbing my wet hair with the towel. She smiled sweetly and put her arm around my shoulders.

"Well Bella," she said pausing for a moment, thinking of what to say, "Edward has just had a hard time these past couple of years and it's good to see him settle down with a good girl like yourself." I smiled at her and she pulled me in to a big hug. Esme got to her feet and left out of the closet.

"Bella, are you ok? What did she say to you?" Alice said leaning her head on my knees.

"She told me she was glad that I was dating Edward. I don't get it but whatever," I said shrugging.

"Bella, you and Edward are like perfect for each other and I haven't seen him this happy in I don't know how long. Just be glad everyone is happy about it."

We headed off downstairs and heard everyone in the kitchen gathered around the table. I sat down in the seat next to Emmett. Esme was flitting around the kitchen making lunch. Emmett was talking to Jasper about something but I was just staring at Edward who was looking out the window. She brought a plate of grilled cheese to the table and placed it down in front of us. Emmett, of course, was the first one to grab the food and placed it on his plate in front of him.

I grabbed half a sandwich, biting into the warm bread and cheese, the taste was absolutely amazing. I chewed my sandwich as the rest of them talked loudly, laughing at some joke Emmett was telling.

I stood up from the table and took my plate to the sink, setting it down with a clank. I turned around and watched everyone sitting around the table. I knew I had to get going back home, Charlie was probably wondering where I go. That was when I remembered Megan. Her name made me cringe back in disgust.

"Hey Alice, I think I've got to get going home. I've got some stuff to deal with at home with Charlie." She perked her head up and gave me a confused look. "I will have to tell you about it later," I said wiping my hands off on a dishtowel lying near the sink. Edward got to his feet, kissed my cheek, and whispered in my ear.

"I'll miss you every minute that you are gone," he said softly into my hair. I smiled at him as he walked back to the table. I waited for Alice as she got up and stood at my side.

She followed me out to the entry way and I picked up my bag and my shoes which were still wet. I pulled out a pair of flip-flops from my backpack; these would have to do until I could get home. Alice grabbed a raincoat and then my shoes and we both ran out to my truck. I opened the door and jumped in as she handed me my shoes.

"Be careful, Bella," she said hugging me goodbye. "Call me later ok?"

"I will," I said as I closed the door. She waved goodbye and turned around to run back into the house.

I wasn't exactly thrilled to get home but I knew that I had to. I was still upset about Megan and I wasn't even sure if anything was going on. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, stewing over what could be happening. I wasn't sure what I would say to him or how I would even confront him. I drove down the driveway and towards my house, trying to keep calm about the whole situation. I don't know what I would do if he confirmed my worst fears but I would just have to find out whether I liked it or not, I was going to get the truth.

* * *

**A/N: I must tell you guys, all of you that comment, you are all so awesome. You guys really crack me up and you are so sweet. Thank you guys for following the story! Makes me so happy!**


	15. Surprise!

**A/N: Ok so I KNOW some of you are going to throw a fit about what is going to happen in this next chapter. I fully apologize beforehand. Please don't hate me! It will get better though I promise you that so don't kill me! I love all my readers!**

**Chapter 15**

**Bella**

I pulled down my street, heading for my house when I saw an unfamiliar car parked in front of my house. A brand new white four door Jetta was sitting at the curb. I scowled at the car, it was must be Megan's and I wondered if she was here. That looked like a car that she would drive. I growled as I picked up my up my bags and shoes, slamming the truck door behind me as I ran off up the front steps to the house.

I opened the front door, dropped my bags in the entryway and stomped off to the living room, hoping to God she was here; I had a few choice words for her. Charlie was sitting in front of the television in his normal spot but no Megan. He turned and looked at me when I entered the room a smile on his face.

"Hey Bells," he said sipping his beer.

"Dad, whose car is that outside?" I said sanding with my hands on my hips looking around the room.

"Well Bella," he said getting to his feet, "that's something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Is that Megan's car?" I spat at him. He looked shocked for a moment then shook his head.

"I'm sorry? No Bella, Megan isn't here. I bought that car," he said looking at me.

"You bought that car? That isn't exactly the type of car I would picture you in," I said relaxing a bit.

"No Bella, you are misunderstanding me. I bought that car for you."

I stared at him for a moment, my mind unable to wrap around the last statement. For the last two years, I had begged him to get me another vehicle. After he had sold mom's car to pay off the medical bills I assumed he would be able to get me something but he always refused. _Why the sudden change? Why did he decide to buy me a car and not even tell me before he did it? Was this in some way a bribe? _I was torn between anger and happiness. If it was a bribe, it was a damn good bribe, but was it good enough to void out the fact he might be dating a younger woman? I decided either way I would take the car; I would be stupid if I didn't.

"You bought me a car? Why…why did you do that?" I stammered.

"Well Bells, I know that you have been wanting a new car for awhile and that old truck is getting pretty rusty. I have been saving up for awhile to get you one. I just know that you do a lot around here and I don't really tell you thank you a whole lot so I figured that this be sort of a thank you gift."

I stood in front of Charlie, his words stunning me. I don't ever recall a time that he was so generous. He put his hand in his pocket and produced a set of keys. He held the keys out to me but I just stared at them. I slowly walked over to Charlie and reached up to grab the keys. I hesitated for a moment then wrapped my fingers around the warm metal that was resting in his hand.

He smiled as I pulled them out of his hand, fidgeting with them. He went back to his spot on the couch and picked up his beer, sipping it slowly. I smiled down at him as his eyes went back to the game on the television. I suppose I should thank him for the present, after all it was a rather expensive gift.

"Thank you for the….for the car, Dad. That was very generous of you, you didn't have to do that," I said suddenly feeling bad for begging him to get me a new car before and then cursing his name in my head when he didn't. I stepped out onto the porch and hit the door locks on the white Jetta. I pulled my hoodie up over my head as the rain pelted me as I ran to the curb to my new car.

I quickly opened the driver side door and plopped myself down into the leather seat. The car smelled of brand new leather. I ran my hands down the side of the passenger seat, the black leather seats were so slick and cool. I put the key in the ignition and turned the key, the bright lights on the dashboard lit up. The clock on the dashboard stared back at me, 2:03 pm. I looked around at the buttons on the center console. There was so many buttons that I had no idea what they did. I pushed one and I heard a motor. I looked around and nothing was moving until I felt raindrops dropping on top of my head. I quickly learned that was for the moon roof. I decided it was best not to touch any of those buttons right now.

I turned on the radio, rock music roared through the speakers. I quickly turned it off, my nerves a little frazzled. I turn on the windshield wipers, and they swooshed loudly on the windshield as I started the car. It purred so softly I barely heard it, unlike my loud truck; you could hear it a mile away. I hadn't driven anything other than my truck so this was different. I pulled away from the curb slowly, trying to get used to this new car and the way the gas pedal felt and how much I needed to push it.

I drove around the block, the rain pelting down hard on the roof of the car, the wipers pushing the drops off the windshield. The car was easier to drive than I had expected and I was suddenly overcome with excitement. I drove the car back down my street and pulled it in the same spot it had been when I had returned home from the camping trip.

I ran back into the house, carrying my bags up the stairs and threw them down on my floor. I walked over to my bed and plopped myself face down. I couldn't believe my life right now. It was so different from what it had been merely four months ago. Before I met Edward, my life had been boring, uneventful, and sad. Now I was in love, I was happy and my relationship with my father was strengthening, I mean he just bought me a new car. I couldn't complain and I sure as hell wasn't going to because my life couldn't get any better than this.

-------

Two days after I had gotten back from the camping trip, I made it back up to the Cullen house to visit. I had to spend at least a couple interrupted days with Charlie after he did that for me. Luckily, there was no sign or mention again of Megan. Perhaps she was a bad dream. I had told Alice what Charlie had done but I didn't give her the details; I wanted it to be a surprise. I had just told her that he had given me a different car. She squealed as usual and told me that I had to come see her as soon as possible.

I pulled up the driveway and parked in my normal spot. I stepped out of the car, hit the door locks and looked at the car. The shiny white paint reflected the bit of sunlight that was peaking through the clouds above. At least it wasn't raining anymore. I stumbled up the front steps to the large glass door and rang the bell. I stood for just a minute before I saw Emmett come around the corner and open the door with a huge smile.

"Hey Bella, nice ride you got there," he said as he stared at my car then pulling me into a big bear hug.

"Thanks," I managed to squeal from his arms. He set me back down on the ground and Edward came around the corner. He leaned against the corner, staring at me with a crooked smile on his face and finally made his way over to the door. Emmett saw him and stepped back to let Edward through and then he disappeared into the living room.

Edward hugged me tightly, snuggling his nose into my hair and inhaling deeply. I kissed his neck, letting my lips linger for a moment then pulled away to look into his eyes. I had missed him tremendously. I looked up into his beautiful green eyes and the same crooked smile playing on his perfect lips. He leaned down, kissed my forehead, and then pulled me into the house, closing the door behind us.

"So Alice told me you got a new car," he said peering out the window at my car. "I like it, it suits you," he said cupping my cheek in his hand.

"I do too, its really nice. I am actually really shocked that Charlie did that for me. I thought I was going to have that rusty old pile of metal my whole life." I said chuckling as he pulled me further into the house. Esme and Carlisle were in the living room with Emmett who was on the floor playing with Emmilie. Esme was reading a book and Carlisle was watching a medical show on the television. They looked up once I entered the room and they both smiled at me.

"Hello Bella," Carlisle said turning down the volume and giving me a big grin. I swear that smile must be hereditary because even his smile gave me weak knees. I could definitely see why Esme fell in love with him.

"Alice tells us your father bought you a new car," Esme said closing her book and laying it in her lap.

"Yeah, when I got home there was a car sitting in front of the house. He handed me the keys and said it was a gift to say thank you for everything I had done for him."

"Well wasn't that awfully nice of him to do," Esme said sweetly. "You are a very lucky girl, Bella." I chuckled at her last statement. I was lucky but not for the reasons she was saying. I looked up at Edward who was still holding my hand and he smiled back at me.

"Where is Alice?" I asked, but Emmett was the one who answered.

"She is upstairs watching some stupid soap opera again," he said never looking up from playing with Emmilie. I rolled my eyes; she was always watching those corny shows.

I let Edward's hand go, headed up the stairs into her room and saw that she was laying on her stomach on the bed, leaning on her elbows, her head resting in her hands. She seemed to be very distracted by the television when I entered the room, so distracted in fact that she never looked up.

"Alice, I am here," I said matter-of-factly. She didn't move. I waved my hands in the air. Nothing. I jumped down next to her and shook her arm; she jerked quickly as if she had been in a trance and looked up at me startled.

"Sheesh Bella, you can't interrupt a girl when she is watching a soap opera," she said turning back to the screen.

I sat on the bed next to her and finished watching the last fifteen minutes of her corny soap opera, her eyes filling with tears as the credits rolled. I looked down at her confused and shocked. _Was she crying over a lame soap opera_? I would never understand that girl.

"That was the best season finale ever," she said sniffling. I raised my eyebrow at her and she slapped my knee. "Bella, do not mock the show," she said glaring at me. I cringed back and off the bed.

"Chill out there, Alice. It's just a show." I said skipping off to the bathroom to check my hair. My hair was all over the place in a messy bun, but I didn't care I liked it. I turned my face back and forth in the mirror, looking over my face. Alice came running in behind me, running into me and nearly knocking me off my feet.

"Sooo, the present… I want to see it!" she said grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room. _Good Lord, Alice is moody_. I was starting to feel bad for Jasper. I let her drag me back down the stairs and outside the house. She let go of my hand and ran off to the car, inspecting the outside thoroughly. She ran her hand down the length of the side from trunk to hood, hmming and nodding as she went. I popped the locks on the door and she opened the passenger door.

She poked her head into the car looking around in the backseat before taking a seat. She looked around the car for a moment as I stood watching her a couple of feet away. She finally emerged from the car, closing the door behind her. She nodded as she walked to me and smiled.

"Charlie sure knows how to pick them, doesn't he?" she said chuckling. "I am actually really surprised. I like it a lot."

"Yeah, I like it too. It's pretty girly though," I said and she huffed.

"And? What is wrong with being girly," she said crossing her arms in front of her trying to look hurt.

"Oh stop it, Alice, you know what I meant!" I said and she started to laugh. We headed back into the house as it started to thunder loudly. The sky started to darken slightly and we knew it was going to rain.

Just as we had closed the door, it started to pour down rain hard. I looked out at my car and frowned as I watched my new car be pelted with rain. I followed Alice back into the living room as she plopped down in between her parents to watch tv. I took a seat in a chair near a window where Edward had been sitting on the floor. He looked up from a book he was reading as I sat down and he leaned his head into my lap.

I watched him read quietly, some biography on a great musician, as I played with his hair disheveled bronze hair. I sighed in contentment, being around the Cullen's just put me at ease. Esme went off to cook dinner and about an hour later, she called us into the kitchen.

Alice was the first one in the kitchen, which surprised me since Emmett was always the first one to the table. I sat down next to her and leaned my head against her shoulder. Esme set the food on the table, spaghetti and meatballs. I loved coming over here because I didn't have to cook. Edward sat across from me next to Emmett. I watched Emmett as he slowly piled spaghetti onto his plate. He had lost his energy and his enthusiasm. It was just weird not to see Emmett so jovial and bubbly. I watched him as he twirled his spaghetti around his fork, placing in his mouth and chewing slowly.

"Emmett," I said softly, "are you ok?" He looked up at me and frowned.

"Yeah, I am ok. Rose and I just got into a little fight," he said shoving a forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Is she coming over?" Alice said biting into a breadstick. He chewed for a moment before answering again.

"Yeah, she is coming over in a bit. I told her I didn't want to fight with her and that I just wanted to see her. I think she's just nervous about going to college so far away from home."

We sat around the table, eating our dinner when the doorbell rang. Emmett jerked his head up quickly and bolted for the door knowing exactly who it was. I looked over at Edward who touched his foot against mine. I chuckled quiet and Alice shot me a confused look.

Emmett and Rosalie appeared in the kitchen a few moments later, his arm wrapped around her small waist. She looked abnormally pretty today and I couldn't figure out why. I looked her up head to toe, drinking in her beauty, jealousy burning in my chest. Rosalie had always been pretty and why I suddenly felt jealous was beyond me. Jasper came bounding in behind her and took Emmett's seat across from Alice, kissing Alice's cheek. I couldn't help but to turn my attention back to Rosalie.

She was wearing black strappy heels, a pair of dark jeans and a black and white corset top that hugged her body tightly, perfect mounds forming at the top of the corset. She had on a silver necklace with the word LOVE hanging down between her two perfect breasts.

Her blonde hair was half up showing off her shiny silver star earrings that hung from her earlobes. Her make-up was as flawless as usual, perfect rosy cheeks, pink pouty lips, and bright blue eyes surrounded by long dark lashes. She definitely was goddess-like.

A devious smirk crossed her face, she glared down at me from where she stood, and I quickly turned away, my face suddenly got hot. Everyone at the table was looking at her as she stood near the counter, flipping her long shiny hair. She smiled down at them as if she was an angel from heaven, gracing them with her beauty. I frowned for a moment, disappointed in myself for feeling so jealous. I had never had a problem with the way I looked until I started hanging around the most beautiful people around.

I stared around the table; every face I looked into was beautiful, all perfectly dressed as if they had just stepped out of a J. Crew catalog. I looked down at my faded jeans, baggy sweater and old ratty converse sneakers. I couldn't help but wonder what Edward saw in me. I was plain, nothing compared to Rosalie or Alice. I kept my head down the rest of the meal, feeling self conscious as ever, never wanting to be caught staring at Rosalie the way I had been earlier.

After dinner and we had all cleared the table, all of us going into the den to watch a horror movie Jasper had picked out from Edward's movie collection. It was an old movie in black and white but very gory. Esme had taken Emmilie to bed and Carlisle was paged to the hospital so he left immediately. I sat in between Jasper and Edward, cuddling up into chest, his warm arms wrapped around me. I watched Rosalie in the dimly lit room as she giggled and cuddled with Emmett, flipping her long hair every so often.

Edward planted a warm kiss on my neck and I moaned softly. He always found the wrong time to do things like that, like times when nothing could be done. I pushed my neck against his warm lips wanting so bad to kiss them but knowing I wouldn't. I wasn't much for public affection especially in front of my boyfriend's family.

We finished watching the movie as the rain poured down outside the windows, the occasional strike of lightning brightening the pitch-black sky. The thunder cracked loudly making the windows shake every so often. I decided it was probably the best idea not to drive home in this kind of rain in a new car so I called Charlie before it had gotten too late and let him know I would be home in the morning.

Alice and I headed upstairs to her room, Rosalie following a safe distance behind us. She was suddenly making me nervous and I wasn't sure why. I walked into Alice' closet pulled out some shorts and a tank top and heading off to change in the bathroom as Alice and Rosalie talked. I changed slowly as I watched the rain pelt furiously against the glass. It was really storming tonight and my anxiety level began to rise. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before headed out of the bathroom to see Rosalie with her back to me taking off her corset.

Alice was sitting on the bed flipping through a magazine and I plopped down next to her. I looked at her, raising my eyebrow in confusion. I nodded my head in the direction of the nearly naked Rosalie and looked back at her. _Why was Rosalie changing her clothes_?

"Rose and Jasper are going to stay the night tonight since the storm. Esme said she didn't want them driving home in this weather. Jasper is going to sleep with Emmett and Rose….well you can sleep in the spare bedroom if you want," Alice said cheerfully.

Rosalie appeared from the depths of the closet wearing some skimpy shorts and spaghetti strapped top. Her curves were undeniable and it made me blush. I had seen Alice change before but Alice definitely didn't have a body like that. She stood at the foot of the bed, holding the bedpost in her left hand as she ran her free hand through her hair.

"That would be great Alice, where is it?" she said smiling at Alice.

"It's on the first floor near the den. If you want I can show you where it is." Rosalie nodded and followed Alice out of the room, leaving me alone with nothing but the thunder. I pulled my knees into my chest, resting my chin on my knees and waited for Alice to come back up.

A couple minutes later and countless rumbled of the windows, Alice appeared back in the room, closing the door behind her. She jumped on the bed and continued to flip through her magazine again. I sat on the bed quietly and watched her before I broke the silence.

"Hey Alice, I get the feeling that Rosalie doesn't particularly like me all that much," I said biting my lip and ducking my head into my lap.

"What? Bella did she say something to you or something?" Alice said putting down the magazine and turning to me.

"Well…no. She hasn't….said anything to me. It is just the way she looks at me really. She just kind of gives me dirty looks," I said hesitantly.

"Bella, one thing you have to learn about Rosalie is that she is…..well, I guess there is no way nice to say this but she is very stuck on herself. She thinks very highly of herself. It is not you though believe me. She gets like that with everyone. She is definitely used to getting her way. She just comes off that way but when you really get to know her, she is actually really nice."

I looked at her but I wasn't sure she was very convinced of her own words. I never really talked to her one on one before; she was rather intimidating. I wasn't sure I wanted to get to know her very well. She seemed rather shallow.

"Yeah, I guess you are right, I just get this weird feeling about her Alice. I can't quite put my finger on it but something just is up with her," I said pulling the blankets down and getting underneath them.

"You will see Bella, she is just as nice as anyone, I promise. Maybe we can have a girl's only day tomorrow. No boyfriends just us girls and we can go out and go shopping." she said getting excited just thinking about shopping. I raised my eyebrows in sarcastic enthusiasm.

She leaned over, turned off the lamp on the nightstand, and snuggled under the blankets. I laid awake next to her, trying to listen for the heavy breathing over the thunder that would signal that she was asleep and that it was safe to go see Edward. I nearly fell asleep waiting for her to finally fall asleep but once I heard her tiny snores I slowly slipped out of bed and headed for the door.

I crept quietly out the door and tip toed towards Edward's door, the lightning crashing outside, lighting the whole hallway. I stopped for a moment and remembered what Esme had told me a couple days earlier. She said they thought I was good for Edward since I was such a good girl and yet here I was sneaking into his room in the middle of the night to seduce him.

I hesitated a moment, my conscious telling me I shouldn't betray their trust and yet I couldn't stay away from him. He ignited a fire deep inside me that I had never known existed until I met him. He made me feel things I had never felt before, see things I had never seen before. I loved him with every part of my soul. I wanted to show him how much I loved him and I hope he would let me tonight. My breathing began to quicken and my palms began to sweat as I reached for the handle slowly.

I wrapped my damp hand around the cool metal handle, pulling down slowly, another loud crack of thunder exploded outside. I pushed the door gently, the door opening into the pitch-black room. I closed the door behind me as another crack of thunder sounded. I looked out the windows, unable to see anything beyond them. The rain was coming down in sheets over the windows, looking like someone was throwing buckets of water at them. I stepped closer to the bed, the comforter rustled up and I heard what sounded like a giggle.

I stopped in my tracks for a moment and stared at the bed but there was no movement. I took another step closer to the bed, this time the comforter rose into the air, a shadow was sitting up in bed. He must be tossing and turning. I took another step closer to the bed, ready to pounce on Edward when lightning struck outside, illuminating the whole room. I looked at the figure who was sitting up and I saw the bare flesh of a back for a split second. Again, the lightning struck this time I saw long blonde hair draped across the bare flesh. I heard another giggle and a moan, a moan I knew well. I stepped back quickly, tripping over my feet and landing on the floor with a loud thud.

'What the hell was that?" a familiar voice said roughly. The lamp on the bedside table flicked on and I shielded my eyes from the bright light now shining throughout the room.

"What in the fuck…." I heard the familiar voice say loudly. I had pulled my hand away from my eyes trying to focus when I saw Edward sitting upright in bed; Rosalie's naked body was straddling him. He looked down at me on the floor and then up at Rosalie. She held her naked breasts in her hands and flipped her hair to look back at me, a smug grin on her face.

"Bella?" he said looking down at me, his voice cracking. He looked back up at Rosalie, pushing her off him and jumping out of the bed, wearing only his boxers and apparently excited.

"What did you do Rosalie?" he growled and then turned back to me.

I crawled backwards on my hands, trying to find the door. He looked back at Rosalie who had grabbed the blanket and pulled it around her, giggling hysterically. I finally bumped up against the door and I reached up over my head to find the handle, my eyes never leaving his face. _What had he done_?

"Bella, this is not what it looks like," he said stepping towards me, but I backed against the door further, struggling to find the door handle. "She tricked me."

"Stay away from me, Edward. Just stay the fuck away from me!" I screamed at him, holding my hand out to stop him from coming any further. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Oh, Eddie, why don't you just tell her all about us," Rosalie said from the corner of the bed.

"What did you say?" I shot back at her.

"Shut the fuck up, Rosalie! God damn it," he said stepping closer to her, pointing directly at her. She laughed again. Thunder cracked loudly outside and Edward stepped closer to me.

"Don't you fucking touch me Edward," I said getting to my feet.

"You might as well just tell her, Eddie," she giggled again and I glared at her. I wanted to leap across the room and tear her eyes from her head. My heart raced, anger rose in my chest. I wanted to kill her. I clenched my fists down by my side. She had everything, absolutely everything and she had to take my Edward.

"ROSALIE I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP," Edward roared. "Bella, please look at me," he said but I couldn't tear my eyes from her cruel face. Her smile was the most evil thing I had ever seen, her once beautiful features had distorted into the face of some sort of evil witch from some bad movie.

"Bella since Edward won't be honest and tell you I guess I have to. Emmilie is our child," she said haughtily.

My heart stopped and I looked at him. He looked at her, glaring at her like a wild beast about to pounce on its prey. _Was this true, was Emmilie their child? _I couldn't breathe, my knees started to wobble and I suddenly felt numb. I gripped the door handle in an attempt to hold myself. I wasn't even sure if I had the voice to ask him, my mouth felt so dry.

"Is…is this true Edward," I said quietly staring at him as I struggled to keep upright. He didn't say anything, just hung his head. I shook my head in disbelief.

"This whole time…..this whole time you have lied to me? Emmilie is your DAUGHTER?" I spit at him. He looked up at me shamefully, tears streaming down his face. _How in the hell could he be crying right now? He was the one that did this to me. _I don't even think I had it in me to cry.

"Bella, please listen to me, it's not what you think. I was drunk and I didn't know what was going on and she…."he said but I cut him off quickly.

"Un-fucking-believable, Edward," I said laughing humorlessly. "You get caught and you naturally try to get out of it, go ahead and blame her, likely story. You lied to me!" I screamed at him. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door behind me.

"Is everything ok in there?" Esme's sweet voice came faintly through the thick door.

"No Esme, everything is not alright," I said loudly through the door.

"Bella, let me in please," she said. I pulled the door open widely and stepped aside so she could come in, closing the door behind her.

"Esme, perhaps you can shed some light on this subject," I said hotly holding the door for support; my knees threatened to give out at any moment "Rosalie is telling me that Emmilie is Edward's daughter, Emmilie is their daughter." I stared at Esme, who stood silently in the room, looking back and forth between our faces.

"Bella, we wanted to tell you but…" Esme started but stopped.

"So, it is true then?" I said as the tears threatened to spill out over my cheeks. I couldn't keep my cool any longer. _How could he have lied to me? _

"Bella you must understand why we kept this a secret. Neither Alice or Emmett know about Emmilie," she said.

"You all lied to me, all of you," I said pushing Esme aside and running out the door as the tears spilled out over my cheeks. I burst into Alice's room, flipping on the light, and running into her closet to grab my belongings. I picked my clothes up quickly and ran down the stairs, tripping on the last step. I nearly fell but I grabbed the railing and continued down the rest of the stairs into the kitchen, grabbing my keys off the counter, and bolting for the door just as Edward was flying down the stairs after me.

I ran as fast as I could, my bare feet splashing through the mud puddles that scattered the driveway, the sharp rocks ripping open the soft skin on the bottoms of my feet. I winced in pain, but I didn't dare look back. I heard him yell my name over the thunder but I couldn't hear him anymore. My heart pounded loudly in my ears, my blood raced through my veins, the adrenaline helping me get to the car faster.

I hit the locks on the doors, unlocking them just as I reached the door, and I pulled the door open, throwing my clothes on the seat next to me. I saw Edward running towards my car and I locked the doors quickly. I started the car just as he reached my window, pounding wildly on it.

"Bella, please, let me explain," he shouted at me over the near constant thunder. I put the car in reverse and back up, Edward never leaving the window.

I stopped for a moment and stared at him, his hair drenched and dripping with water, and wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. He stared back at me and mouthed the word please to me, dragging his bare hand down the window. I threw the gear into drive and slammed my foot down on the pedal, the car jumping forward and skidding down the driveway back towards the road that would lead me home.

I watched in my rearview mirror as he ran after me down the driveway, but with every passing second he grew smaller and smaller. The tears streamed down my face as I pushed them away with the back of my hand, trying to watch the road. I slowed down significantly once I had made my way out of the hills and minutes later, I had rested the car at the curb in front of my house.

I turned off the car and leaned my head back against the seat, closing my eyes. I didn't want to go in but I couldn't stay out in the car forever. I grabbed my clothes, headed up the porch steps and quietly opened the door. I crept up the stairs, the one creaky step giving away my presence and I tiptoed up into my room. I dumped my clothes on the floor near the door and threw myself down on the bed, falling asleep nearly immediately.

-------

I woke up the next day, the sun blaring in my eyes; I pulled my pillow over my head and groaned loudly. I thought it had all been a bad dream but the more I grew conscious the more I realized it was nothing more than reality. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand and it was already two in the afternoon. I had slept nearly the whole day away.

I pulled the pillow off my head; my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert. I sat up in bed quickly, shoving the blanket off me. I don't remember covering myself with a blanket. I stepped down on the wooden floor and a pain shot up my foot. I sat back down on my bed, pulling my foot up to rest on my knee. The bottom of my foot was bloodied and cut from the rocks in the driveway. I had forgotten about running barefoot last night.

I limped my way to my door, opening it slowly, listening for Charlie. I heard the TV on downstairs and I made my way to the bathroom. I ran the shower cold, climbing in. I wanted to wash it all away, the pain, the lies, the memories of Edward Cullen. I leaned against the cold tile, sobbing softly into the constant flow of water. Never in my wildest dreams had I expected last night's events to turn out the way they did.

I never wanted to see Edward Cullen again. I scrubbed my body until it was nearly flushed pink, trying to wash away his touch and his kisses. I grabbed the towel hanging on the rack, wrapping it around myself and ran back into my room. I heard a knock on the door just as I had sat down on my bed.

"Bella, honey, are you alright? What are you doing back? I thought you were going to stay the night," I heard Charlie's gruff voice sounding concerned.

"Yeah, Dad, I am fine, I just decided to come home early," I called after him.

"Well, I made some lunch whenever you are hungry." I heard his boots stomp off back down the stairs.

I finished getting dressed and I headed down the stairs into the living room. The TV was blaring with some game as usual and just as I turned the corner, I saw it. I saw her head peaking over the top of the couch. Anger suddenly because to race through me again, very similar to last night. Megan was here, sitting on my couch with my father. I stopped and stared at the back of her head hoping to God that my glaring would put a hole right through her head. Charlie saw me and he smiled at me, but I wasn't so happy to return the smile.

"Hey Bells, glad to see you are finally up," he said sipping his beer nervously. Megan turned around, resting her arm on the back of the couch and smiled at me.

"Hi Bella," she said pleasantly. Oh how I loathed her. I calmed myself enough to smile back at her.

"Hi Megan, what a surprise to see you here," I said sarcastically.

"Bella, come sit down here," Charlie said patting the couch next to him. I hesitated for a moment, unsure of what was going to happen and I slowly made my way over to the couch. I sat down next to Charlie and folded my hands in my lap.

"Bella, there is something I would like to talk to you about." Charlie sat his beer down on the coffee table and turned to me. I could taste the bile as it rose into my mouth; this was definitely not a good sign.

"What is it, Dad?" I stared back at him, pleading with my eyes for it not to be true.

"Well, Bells," he said grabbing my hands in his, "Megan and I have been seeing each other for the last couple of months and well I have asked her to move in," he said hesitantly, staring at my face.

I couldn't move, I couldn't breath. I closed my eyes, my heart sank at the news. _He was going to bring another woman into the house_? _Why hasn't he asked me if it was ok first_? I was afraid to open my eyes, afraid the tears would come spilling out again. I wasn't even sure I had any more tears left to cry.

"Bella, honey, say something," he said gently shaking my hands that were clasped between his.

"Dad, I am not so sure you want me to say anything right now." I slowly opened my eyes and stared back at him. I turned quickly to look at Megan, who was sitting on the sofa, stunned.

"Megan, would you be ever so kind as to let me talk with my father…alone….please," I said sweetly. Bitch, who do you think you are coming in here and ruining my life? She smiled, rose to her feet and left the room, the front door closing behind her. I turned back to look at Charlie who looked more nervously than I had ever seen.

"Dad, I really don't know what to say. I have basically had the worst shitting ass day of my entire life last night, and now….now you want to spring this on me?" I pulled my hands from him. "Frankly, what I have to say really isn't that nice. What is she…a whole twenty-three years old? She's barely older than I am." I spat.

"Bella, please be fair. She is twenty-eight years old," he said defensively.

"Oh how great! I get a big sister," I said glaring back at him, sarcasm dripping from my every word.

"Bella, please. Your mom has been gone a long time and I am lonely. She's a nice woman."

"I hate to break it to you there, Pops, but you sure didn't find it necessary to spend time with us when Mom was alive, now did you and now that she is gone, you want someone?"

"Don't talk like that. I loved your mother with all my heart. She was the love of my life and I regret it every day the time I hadn't spent with her when she was alive. You have no idea how much it tears me up thinking about that. I could only hope your mother would want me to move on and be happy at some point."

"Oh, Dad, you are so right, and by happy you mean sleeping with someone barely older than your daughter," I spat at him, his eyes because to well up. "Perhaps it's best if I just leave."

"What? Leave where?" Charlie stammered.

"I don't know, somewhere, somewhere far away," I said looking off out the window.

"Bella, I don't want you to leave. I love you, honey," he said grabbing my hands again. I knew he loved me, and I knew he wasn't doing this to hurt me, yet I couldn't help feeling as if this was a personal attack.

I thought for a moment, I had nowhere to go, no one to stay with. I couldn't go stay with Alice for obvious reasons, all of my grandparents were dead, no relatives to really speak of. What was I going to do? I couldn't live here with them, live in this town near the person I love who was father to another woman's baby, lied to me about it and was still sleeping with her.

"It's probably best I do leave, and not just because of this," he looked at me confused. "Look, Dad don't ask."

"Bella, you are a minor, you can not leave. Where are you going to go? I would file a report on you as a runaway," he said firmly.

Where could I possibly go that he wouldn't throw a fit about? I wasn't about to stay with Jessica, she was too good for me now. I couldn't possibly stay with Billy and Jacob, especially with the way, Jacob was with me last time I saw him. I didn't know anyone else to turn to. Then I remembered. I remembered Jacob telling me about his twin sisters, Rachel and Rebecca, who had moved to California for school. Charlie would never tell me no, he loved those girls, if only I could convince them to let me come stay with them.

It was a long shot, but I had to try. I had never been out of the state of Washington, and this was as good of an opportunity as any. I wasn't particularly close to the girls growing up, considering they are nearly five years older than me, but they were the closest things I had to siblings.

"What about Rachel and Rebecca Black?" I said lifting my eyes to meet his.

"The twins? Bella, they live in California, you can't stay with them."

"Why not? Don't you trust them? What if they say I can live with them for a while? Would you let me go?" I said leaning forward.

"Well, I don't know Bella," he said scratching the back of his head. "That's awfully far to move. It's not that I don't trust them…."

"I will call Billy and get their number," I said getting to my feet and running to the phone.

"Bella, slow down," he said grabbing my arm as I passed him. "I didn't say it was alright."

"Dad, please, if you ever do anything for me ever again, let this be it," I pleaded. He looked at me and then down to the floor. He sighed heavily as he let go of my arm. I ran off towards the phone, picked it up and started dialing. The phone rang and Jacob picked up on the third ring.

"Hi Jacob? This is Bella." There was silence on the other end and for a moment, I thought he had hung up.

"Oh, hi Bella," he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"I have a favor to ask of you."

"Well, that all depends really," he said smugly.

"I would like your sister's number. I would like to talk to them." Another moment of silence.

"What? Why do you want to talk to them?"

"I am thinking about moving out to California for awhile and was wondering if maybe I could crash with them," I said turning my back on Charlie. I was afraid that he wasn't going to give it to me but after a minute of silence he spilled the beans.

"Bella, why do you want to move all of the sudden? Is something wrong?"

"Jake, I am kind of busy right now, would you mind if we talked later?"

"Sure, Bella. Call me later, ok?"

"Alright, Jake. Thanks a lot for your help. You have no idea what this means to me." I put the phone back on the receiver and turned around to look at Charlie.

"He gave it to you, huh?" Charlie said looking a little disappointed.

"Here goes nothing," I said as I picked up the phone again and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Bella. Is this Rachel or Rebecca?"

"Hi Bella, this is Rachel. How have you been? I haven't talked to you in months."

"Well, I am ok, but that is why I am calling. I have a favor to ask…"

* * *

**A/N: Ok so, I know this was a tough chapter, it was tough for me to write it, its been a long time coming. Anyways, let me know what you think, and as always be nice! LOL. I heart you guys!**


	16. Anger is 1 letter short of Danger

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own the characters......*sighs***

**A/N: So here is a little glimpse of angry Edward, not that I don't blame him.**

**Chapter 17**

**Edward**

I stood in the driveway, the rain running down my face as I watched her taillights disappear into the darkness. I ran my hands into my wet hair, pushing it out of my face as I stood there in nothing but boxers. I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there before I felt a small hand on my shoulder.

"Edward please come inside before you get sick," Esme's tiny voice said over the cracking of the thunder. I stood a moment longer, staring at the road, hoping she would come back but she never did.

Esme held an umbrella over the both of us as she led me back into the house but it would not have helped any. I was already soaked from head to toe. I stood in the entryway dripping wet before Esme was once again leading me into living room and gently pushing me down into the chair near the window. Carlisle had then appeared in the living room holding a towel, which Esme took from him and handed to me. I raised my hand slowly and grabbed the towel from her as I stared straight ahead at the wall.

I dried my hair first, rubbing the terry cloth towel all over my head and then my chest, which was dripping, onto the hardwood floor. Esme knelt in front of me and was saying something but I wasn't paying attention. My ears were ringing so loudly I could hardly think straight. I was so angry I could have thrown the chair I was sitting in right through the window. This had to be a dream because there was no other explanation.

I leaned forward in the chair, resting my elbows on my knees, placing my head in my hands. I closed my eyes then opened them again and stared down at the water droplets on the floor, watching them pool together making small puddles, wondering if I should wipe them up. _No, fuck it. Let them ruin the wood as Rosalie has ruined my life. Rosalie….Speaking of Rosalie, where is she_? I had to find her.

I sat up straight in the chair suddenly and Esme jumped back obviously startled by my quick movements. I stared at her a moment, my eyes burning into hers, an obvious look of fright washed over her face. My face suddenly grew hot with anger and I got to my feet quickly, looking around the room. It was empty except for Carlisle and Esme.

"Edward what are you looking for?" Esme's voice called from the floor.

"Rosalie,' I said through gritted teeth, looking down into her sad eyes. I stalked up the staircase up to Alice's room, the only possible place she could be hiding.

I threw the door open and stood in the doorway as Alice and Rosalie jumped from the bed to the floor quickly. I narrowed my eyes on Rosalie as she backed up, running into the side table and knocking a silver picture frame to the floor. She backed up against the wall, grabbing it as she shuffled along towards the corner.

I turned to Alice, a terrified look on her face. I grabbed the door, motioned for Alice to leave and she ran out the door quickly. I closed it behind her slowly before turning back towards Rosalie. She was standing in the corner, her palms pressed flat against the bright pink wall. I looked her up and down in disgust; finally, she had managed to clothe herself with a shirt and shorts.

"Edward she had a right to know," she nearly whispered. How dare she try to reason with me right now. I pursed my lips at her words, narrowing my eyes even further as I stepped towards her slowly, talking bigger strides than I normally would.

I did not stop until our faces were an inch apart, her warm breath washing over my face. I tilted my head ever so slowly down to stare her directly in the eye and lifted my hands, placing them palms down on either side of her head. She was trembling; her breathing was short and ragged. I leaned down until my nose touched hers and she pushed her head back into the corner as far as it would go.

"Edward you should have…," she whispered again.

"Don't you DARE even say my name," I said sharply, cutting her off.

"I just…" she started again but once again, I cut her off. She was not going to speak.

"You….are the biggest….BITCH….that I have EVER met," she cringed back at my words, her eyes growing wide.

"I was only…" She said pressing herself even further into the corner.

"Don't you speak another word, don't you dare," I said moving my hands closer to her head. "You promised Rosalie, you promised," I whispered through gritted teeth. I stared at her a moment, pausing to catch my breath as my heart pounded erratically in my chest. I wanted nothing more than to slap her.

"I don't even have a word to describe what you are at this point. My brother loves you, and you do this to him? You disrespect him this way in his own home…and with his brother. I am about two seconds away from running into his room and telling him what a whore his girlfriend is, "I spit at her and she scoffed. _Ah, she doubted me_. She knew I would never do anything to hurt Emmett but this went beyond that.

"Oh, just wait until Emmett finds out about this," I chuckled humorlessly. "I am sure he would love to hear all about how Emmilie is his brother's child. If you so much as even come near me again, I will take Emmilie away from you and you will never be allowed anywhere near her. Go ahead, Rose, push me. I will take everything you have away from you quicker than shit," I growled. I leaned forward and barely grazed my lips to her ear.

"That's a promise," I whispered into her ear and she gasped.

The door suddenly flew open and I turned to see Carlisle and Esme standing in the room, Alice standing behind them in the hallway. Rosalie was not going to get away with this the way she had before.

"Edward that is quite enough," Carlisle said sternly. I stared at him a moment over my shoulder before pushing off the wall and away from Rosalie. Rosalie stood in the corner, tears streaming down over her cheeks.

"Rosalie, I think it is time for you to leave," Esme said calmly.

"Esme…" Rosalie pled helplessly.

"Rosalie, please, I think you have created enough of a scene for tonight," Carlisle said crossly.

I leaned against Alice's bedpost, arms crossed under my chest as I watched her gather her belongings from Alice's closet. She looked up at me, anger in her eyes and I chuckled. _Stupid bitch_, _you do not mess with a Cullen_. She headed for the door, stopping at Esme.

"Esme, I am so sorry. I just thought that…" She tried to explain.

"Rosalie, I don't think it was your place to tell Bella," she said crossing her arms underneath her chest. "Please Rosalie, leave now." Rosalie nodded and ducked quickly out the door as the thunder cracked somewhere in the distance. Carlisle darted out of the room quickly behind Rosalie.

I turned towards Esme, who stood in the doorway looking at me. Esme bowed her head and stared at the floor before walking over to the bed next to me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off quickly.

"Edward please don't…"

"Don't worry about it, Esme," I said pushing past her, walking out of the room and into the hallway.

Alice was leaning against the wall, staring at me gloomily. She bit her lip and looked down at the floor. I turned to walk away but she grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to look at her.

"Edward, did you really sleep with Rosalie?" She said softly as she looked up into my eyes.

"Apparently so, Alice." This was absolutely embarrassing to discuss.

"Emmilie…Emmilie is your daughter." This was a statement, not a question. I nodded and she shook her head. "Edward I just can't believe this," she stepped back.

"Look Alice, this was two years ago. I was drunk at a party and she took advantage of me. I don't even remember doing it." I said through gritted teeth, getting angry about it all again.

"Then you should have told us! We all know how Rose is, why didn't you just say something?" She said quietly.

"Alice…." I paused for a moment to find the words, "How do you tell your family you have just gotten a girl pregnant and you don't even remember sleeping with her? What does that say about you? I was drunk Alice and I am not proud of it."

"I wouldn't have judged you Edward," she whispered as she hung her head. "I know who you are and we all make mistakes, and I think Bella would have understood that too…..if you would have told her."

"Really, Alice?" I said sarcastically, "Because I don't believe that for one second. I think every one of you would have judged me and I would never have been able to be with Bella if she had known I had a child. Rosalie had this whole sick and twisted scenario planned out in her head ever since we told everyone about us being together."

Esme appeared at the doorway, staring at me. I was tired of everyone always judging me and it would happen no matter what I did, no matter how good I was. I didn't care anymore, judge away.

"Look, it happened, Bella and I are over, whatever. Rose is a…" I stopped for a moment as Esme waited for the words to come out of my mouth," well she is a giant bitch," I spit and Esme gasped softly. "I am tired of playing this game. I won't tell Emmett because it will crush him, but I swear to God if I see her again, I will tell him, so if any of you value Emmett's feelings you will keep her away from me and out of this house."

I turned on my heel, walked into my room, and slammed the door shut behind me. I sat down on the chocolate brown couch, leaning back against the cushions. Lightning outside struck, lighting the dark room that surrounded me. I looked over at the disturbed bed as the lightning once again lit the room and I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I wanted to puke.

How could I have been so naïve to think that Rosalie would not have done some conniving move to separate Bella and me? After she had found out about us during the camping trip, she had tried yet again, mercifully begging me to break up with Bella. She was threatening me that night. She didn't even want me; she just wanted me to want her. I shook my head as it all started to make sense.

My eyes suddenly grew heavy and I relaxed into the couch a bit, resting my head on the armrest. I stared at the door, a sliver of light still radiating from the bottom of the door. I watched it for a while before I could no longer hold my eyes open and fatigue finally overwhelmed me.

-------

I had woken the next day with a crick in my neck from sleeping in such an odd position. I got to my feet slowly and stretched as I looked around the room remembering the dramatics of the night before. It hadn't been a nightmare like I had hoped, this really had happened. I looked out the windows, the clouds were still covering the sky above but at least the rain had stopped.

I opened the door out onto the balcony, stepping towards the railing and looking down to the driveway. You could still see Bella's tire marks as she had raced quickly down the driveway to escape me. I sighed and gripped the railing tightly, the wood digging into my hands.

I heard something stir behind me and I turned quickly to see Alice leaning against the doorjamb. She half-smiled at me and walked over to the railing, leaning her back against it. I stared forward, not wanting to look at her but she leaned herself in front of me and giggled.

"Edward it will be ok," she said gently touching my hand but I pulled it away. I wasn't in the mood for this "it will all turn out ok" speech she was about to give. I looked down at her, a scowl on my face and her smile faded.

"Alice, it's not ok and I would rather not hear your speech right now." She looked absolutely stunned but I didn't care. I wanted to be left alone and whatever it took to get the solitude I so desired would be done. She straightened herself up again and stared up at me for a moment as I gazed out over the treetops.

I turned to look down at her, her small mouth turned down into a frown and she flitted from the balcony quickly, disappearing into the house, the door slamming behind her. I would stand here until it made sense, until everything in my life was understood.

I stood on the balcony for some time alone, hearing nothing but the birds, and I took the seat that Bella and I had once used to watch the stars. I leaned back against the chair and stared up into the sky for what seemed like forever, going over every detail of our relationship. My stomach rumbled loudly and I remembered that I had not eaten in hours. I looked down at my watch and it was nearly four pm, I had been out here for longer than I had realized.

I rose from the chair, my muscles tight from sitting for too long and headed down the stairs towards the kitchen. The house was eerily quiet as I made my way into the kitchen. Esme was standing at the stove with her back towards me; Emmett and Alice were seated at the island and talking softly about something. Jasper must have already gone home to his sister by now. I stood in the doorway and cleared my throat; they all turned to look at me.

"Hey Bro, I thought you died up there," Emmett said chuckling. "I was going to eat your dinner," he laughed again. I had no doubt that he would eat it. I nodded and looked back and forth between Esme and Alice. He hadn't even heard any of last night's escapades. Good.

I took a seat next to Emmett, never saying a word as Esme put a plate in front of me. She smiled quickly at me and continued to serve the rest of them. I looked down at the plate that was covered with salad, chicken, and green beans. I missed Bella's food. I picked up my fork and began shoveling the food quickly into my mouth as if I was afraid Emmett really might eat it.

Esme took a seat next to me and patted my shoulder gently before eating her own meal. I didn't need her pity nor did I want it. I looked around and noticed that Carlisle and Emmilie seemed to be missing but I didn't bother to ask. I didn't care enough to ask. I continued to eat as Emmett and Alice struck up a conversation about the thunderstorm last night. How convenient that he hadn't woken with that going as well.

I finished my meal before everyone else, picked my plate up and set it in the sink before I darted out of the room before anyone could ask me any questions. I headed into the den, shutting the door behind me and plopping myself onto the couch lazily. I turned on the TV, flipping through the channels trying to find something at least somewhat entertaining to watch.

I had a hard time focusing on the TV; I was missing Bella in the worst way. I missed her dark eyes, her warm smile and her beautiful hair. I wanted so badly to hug her, kiss her, and tell her everything was ok, but everything wasn't ok. She was gone, she was mad and I was alone once again.

I glanced around the room, my eyes lingering on the phone that was sitting on the side table. I stared at it for a moment, contemplating on picking it up to call her but I knew damn well that she wasn't going to talk to me. The door behind me opened and Alice slowly made her way into the room, sitting down next to me. I turned to look at her lethargically and she frowned.

"We don't have to talk about it, I promise. I just want to let you know that I am here for you." I stared at her a moment in silence.

"Look Alice, I am fine, I don't need to talk about anything," I said turning away from her and picking up the remote, flipping through the channels aimlessly. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, hoping she would leave me alone, but she didn't. She continued to sit on the couch and watch as I flipped through the channels.

I didn't want to talk about it, especially with my family. I wanted to talk to Bella but I knew that the odds of winning the lottery were higher for me than getting to talk to her. We sat in silence for a while before I grew frustrated and I got to my feet, throwing the remote on the couch as I stomped out of the room.

I hoped they would give up on trying to cheer me up soon because this was growing rather annoying. I headed towards the stairs when I ran into Carlisle who was holding a screaming Emmilie in one arm and her diaper bag in the other. He turned to look at me, a miserable look on his face.

"Is she ok?" I asked quietly.

"She has been crying all day long and she's got a fever. She won't eat or drink anything. I examined her and nothing appears to be wrong so I took her to the hospital to run some blood work. That should help us figure out what is wrong with her," he said gently rocking her back and forth in an attempt to sooth her. Her cries began to dissipate into short little whimpers.

I reached over and gently rubbed her back and she looked up at me, her bright blue eyes were red and swollen from crying. She reached for me and I hesitated. I looked around to see if anyone else in the house was around but the house was still. I slowly took her from Carlisle's arms and cradled her against my chest. She whimpered more, and she wrapped her little hand around my shirt, knotting it up into her little fist. Carlisle smiled at me as I rubbed her back but she kept whimpering.

I felt helpless as she whimpered more, little tears wetting my shirt as she pulled more and more at it. I couldn't comfort her, I couldn't take away her pain and it broke my heart. I kissed her forehead gently as I bobbed her up and down when Emmett rounded the corner of the living room.

"What's wrong with little Em?" he said walking up to us and placing his large hand on top of her curly brown hair.

"She isn't feeling well today," Carlisle said dropping the diaper bag to the floor.

"Poor kid," Emmett said gently. "Well, she is lucky we have a Dr. in the house. No worries little Em," he said rubbing her head affectionately, "Carlisle won't let anything happen to you."

I handed Emmilie back to Carlisle who smiled at me and took her up to her room. Emmett smacked me in the back and took off out the front door, probably going over to that tramp's house. I wondered what excuses she would come up with to tell Emmett so she wouldn't have to come over here.

I headed back up to my room, slamming the door behind me. I looked around the room, papers scattered the floor around my couch, my comforter twisted on the bed. I slowly made my way over to the bed, running my fingers along the comforter before sitting down. I looked over at my disorganized desk, my cell phone sitting near the corner of the desk.

I stared at the phone, again contemplating calling her. I picked up my phone, flipped it open and stared at the background. It was a picture of Bella that I had taken when we were camping. She was sitting at the table, a piece of bread in her hand, smiling at the camera. I dialed her number slowly and hit the send button. The phone rang a couple times before someone answered.

"Hello?" Chief Swan's husky voice said into the phone.

"Is….is Bella there?" I stammered.

"Um….no, Bella is not here right now. Can I take a message?"

"This is….Edward," I sighed.

"Alright Edward, I will tell her you called," he said roughly then hanging up.

I set my phone down on the nightstand, laid back against my pillow and stared up at the ceiling. I kicked my shoes off and brought my hands to rest underneath my head. _She couldn't avoid me forever, right_? She would eventually have to talk to me, I mean school was going to start in nearly two months; she couldn't avoid me at school. I relaxed a bit at that fact and closed my eyes. She would talk to me again, she would forgive me…she had to.

-------

The stress in the house was at an all time high for the next week. Emmilie was still doing no better and Esme had to take her to the hospital a couple of times for more blood work and medications. She wasn't sleeping much which meant neither was the rest of the house. I thankfully hadn't seen Rosalie since I told her to get out, which I was rather shocked at. I guess I had finally gotten through to her.

Most of the time, I was left alone in the house to sulk around since I was banned from leaving it for an entire month. Everyone was too busy taking care of Emmilie or getting Emmett ready for college to pay attention to me and my feelings. I was grateful for the lack of attention for once except for the lack from one person.

There was still no word from Bella. Alice called her house nearly every day but it was as if she had disappeared off the face of the earth. Alice had driven by her house a couple times, her Jetta was no where to be found. She must have been staying somewhere else, hiding out from me. Not that I didn't blame her, I would hide from me too if I were her.

The more I was alone, the more I sat in my room, strumming on my guitar. I had finally finished a song I had started months earlier and had even started one more. It was the only thing that had given me any sort of pleasure lately and drowned out Emmilie and her crying spells.

I couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible for her. _I was her father, shouldn't I be the one taking care of her_? I decided it was best if I stayed as far away from her as possible. Esme and Carlisle were the best parents one could ask for, they wouldn't let anything happen to her so I had nothing to worry about. The last thing I wanted was to skew the lines that had already been drawn about who Emmilie's parents were. I couldn't help but feel parental. It was an odd feeling to have, one that I, of course, had never felt before; feeling completely responsible for someone else's life and well being. It was a responsibility that I had, until this moment, never felt before. She was sick and all I could do was sit idly by and listen to her cry.

By the second week of Emmilie's sickness they still hadn't figured out what it was that was causing her to cry. She was such a little girl and she didn't speak so how could she tell us what was wrong? She had started to walk but lately she hardly moved and every time she did try to walk she would fall and develop small bruises wherever she landed. I began to worry and the more and more I worried the meaner I got, snapping at everyone and saying things I normally wouldn't.

Finally, my month of banning to the house was up and I took full advantage of it by leaving immediately. It was midday, today was abnormally sunny so I decided I would get out for a drive. I hadn't drive my car in so long, I had missed it. I headed for the garage as quickly as I could and jumped into the front seat of the car. I started the car, the engine roared to life and I sighed. I backed out of the garage and headed down the driveway as quickly as I could.

The tires touched the highway and I floored the gas pedal, the car speeding ahead down the highway, faster than I had ever gotten it to go. I had to get away from the house, from my family as fast as I could. I reached town, slowing down the car to the speed limit and headed towards Bella's house. I turned onto her street, driving slowly until I reached her house. Her old red truck was sitting in the driveway alone.

I parked my car in front of her house and stared up at the empty house. I could just wait in front of her house to see if she ever came home but I figured that was far too close to being a stalker and Charlie could definitely arrest me for that. I rolled my window down slowly, leaning my arm out the window, letting the cool breeze roll through the car. I leaned my head back against the headrest, closed my eyes and sighed. I felt a pair of hands on my arm suddenly and I jerked upright.

"Hey," Jessica's head appeared in my window. I backed my head as far away from her as possible.

"Heeeey," I said casually, raising my eyebrow at her.

"Are you looking for Bella?" God, she was a quick one.

"Oh, is this whose house I am sitting in front of?" I said sarcastically and she smiled. That one must have gone over her head.

"She isn't home and hasn't been for weeks," she said flashing me another smile. Maybe she was good for something.

"Do you know where she is?" I said hopeful.

"No, I don't really talk to her anymore."

"What a shame," I said again sarcastically and she giggled. I sighed. "What are you doing out here anyways Jessica?" Not like I really cared all that much.

"I was taking a walk."

"Alone? Where is your uh, boyfriend Mike?" Again, not like I really cared.

"Oh, he isn't my boyfriend anymore," she said smiling. "We broke up a while ago."

"Well isn't that a shame." Well she wasn't much but at least she was available.

"Yup," she said batting her eyelashes at me. I looked down at her hands still resting on my arm and I placed my free hand on one of her hands.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" I said looking up at her and winking. She giggled furiously, her face turning a bright red.

"Nothing right now. Did you…..want to do something?" I nodded and she giggled again.

"Get in," I said leaning over and opening the door for her. She raced around the front of the car, grabbed the door and slid in.

I turned and looked at her as she bounced in the seat excitedly. _What was I doing_? _Was I really about to hang out with Jessica Stanley_? I looked her up and down; she had on a pair of purple plaid shorts that were almost too short, a white tank top in which her chest was nearly spilling out of and matching purple flip flops. I pulled away from the curb and inched the car down the street, unsure of what we were going to do.

"Sooo, did you want to…go see a movie or something?"

"Yeah, they having this really good movie playing in Port Angeles," she said enthusiastically. She was really enjoying this. I nodded as I sped the car down the street and towards the highway.

I headed towards Port Angeles, the speedometer reaching nearly eighty mph. I was waiting for her to complain or something but it never came. She was just excited to be sitting next to me. I smirked, feeling rather cocky as she practically squeaked with excitement.

We arrived at the movie theater in Port Angeles and I parked the car near the back of the parking lot. I got out and opened the door for Jessica and she stepped out. She started rambling quickly about the movie, but I tuned her out immediately. I hope she didn't think I had asked her out for the mere pleasure of listening to her talk.

She started to walk ahead of me, and I couldn't help but watch her as she shook her hips back and forth seductively. She had quite the ass I will give her that. She turned around and said something but I hadn't heard her, I was far too interested in her ass. I looked up at her and raised my eyebrows.

"Huh? I am sorry I was spacing out," I said flashing her a crooked smile. This must be what Emmett feels like all the time.

"I was asking you what movie you wanted to see," she said standing in front of the counter. I decided I would sweet talk my way with her.

"Whatever you want to see, Jess," I said winking at her.

She stood at the counter and ordered the tickets and I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket, pulled out my card and handed it to the pimply faced teenage boy behind the counter. He handed me the tickets and I turned to Jessica, placing my hand in the small of her back and led her towards the doors, holding it open for her. _I might as well be a gentleman._

I handed our tickets to the girl standing behind the podium who smiled widely at me and I grinned back at her as I led Jessica towards our theater. We still had another fifteen minutes until the movie so when we entered the theater it was nearly abandoned. I followed her up the stairs towards the middle and she headed down an aisle.

"Good spot," I said smiling at her. She started talking again, which I instantly tuned out. I really have to remember not to say anything because apparently she thinks I want to hear everything she has to say. I sat down next to her as she continued to ramble on about the movie. I don't even know what movie we had decided on.

Other people started to file into the theater, filling up the empty seats around us quickly. I glanced around the theater to see if I had seen anyone from school. Finally, the lights began to dim and she squealed happily. That squealing thing was really starting to annoy me.

I took off my leather jacket that I had been wearing, placing it on the empty seat next to me. I leaned back into the seat and prepared myself for the next two hours of absolute boredom. The credits rolled, vivid pictures flashed before my eyes and I stared at them blankly.

I suddenly started to feel bad for bringing Jessica out here. I didn't like her and I was basically only using her to cure my boredom. She was going to get the wrong idea and then I would never be rid of her. I decided to make the most out of my time and at least try to listen to her from now.

I watched the movie, paying close attention to see which movie she had picked. It turned out the movie she chose was one that I had been talking to Alice about going to see a couple days ago. Once I started to relax more I actually started to enjoy myself, and her constant commentary wasn't that bad.

After the movie ended, we headed out towards the car as we discussed the movie. She was talking quickly but she was making me laugh. She had such excitement in her at all times which was a change of pace. I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would. I opened her door, she slid in, and I got in on my side. I started the car and headed back towards Forks.

"I had a really good time," she said smiling at me.

"Yeah, me too," I said surprised. "Thanks for going with me, Jess."

"Oh, its no problem," she said rolling her window down, her long brown hair blowing in the wind. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she looked outside, humming some song to herself, trying to hold back her hair.

I pulled onto her street and parked the car in front of her house, it was completely dark. We sat there a minute, and I contemplated if I should walk her into the house, but before I could come to a decision she had the door open and was standing outside the car. She slammed the door shut and leaned down through the open window.

"Anyways, thanks for bringing me home and thanks for the movie," she said flashing me a smile again.

"Yeah, no problem, I had fun."

"Maybe we can do it again," she said winking at me, turning towards the house and running up the steps, disappearing behind the door.

I turned my head to look across the street at Bella's house, it was still dark and empty. I sighed heavily and headed towards home in a better mood than I had been since Bella had left. I was actually shocked that I had a good time with Jessica Stanley. I guess I had her all wrong after all. I pulled my car up the long driveway towards the house and parked my car in the usual spot in the garage.

I headed towards the house, every light looked like it was lit which was odd. I opened the front door and I could heard Emmilie's shrill cry which made me immediately cringed and cover my ears. I followed the sound into the living room where the whole family was sitting, every one of their faces was wearing a somber look. Esme was bouncing Emmilie up and down on her knee, trying to comfort her, but apparently not working.

I turned to Carlisle who was leaning his arm against the fireplace mantle, staring down at the tile that surrounded the fireplace. I stood there a moment, not one of them noticed I had entered the room. _What was going on, why was everyone looking so upset_?

I cleared my throat loudly and Carlisle turned towards me, his expression never changing. He straightened up and looked towards Esme, who was now cradling Emmilie to her chest, shushing the child quietly. Emmilie's cries died down slowly into little whimpers once again and I noticed her small arms were covered in bruises.

"What's wrong? Why do you all look like someone died?" Everyone's eyes widened and I suddenly began to panic. "Is something wrong with Mom?" I said walking towards Carlisle.

"Edward…we have some bad news," he said coming closer to me and resting his hand on my shoulder. I don't think I could handle any more bad news. "I think you need to sit down for this one."

* * *

**A/N: OOOOOHHHH Don't you just HATE cliffhangers:P So I actually have the other chapter finished but I am still doing a little touch up work on it. It will soon follow. Gimme some reviews and I'll post that sucker quicker ;) You guys are awesome readers. I love all your comments. You rock!**

**~J**


	17. This isn't working

**A/N: Ok so it happened and I am sad.**

**Chapter 16**

**Bella**

"Be careful, Bella," Charlie said, leaning into my open driver's window. It had been three days since I had called the twins and I was headed out to Berkeley, California.

"I will, Dad. Please don't worry about me. I will be fine," I said patting his hand.

"Are you sure you have to go? Maybe we can work something out?" Charlie said sadly.

"I am sorry, Dad, this just isn't working." He gripped the door tightly and Megan rested her small hands on his shoulders pulling him back. She smiled at me sweetly and I forced a smile back. Maybe someday I would come to like her, but right now, I simply wasn't ready to like her.

Charlie backed away from the car, a look of sadness in his eyes. I felt guilty for a moment and only a moment. I had to do this for myself because I deserved it. I pulled away from the curb, waving to Megan and Charlie as I head off as fast as I could to reach the city limits of Forks, Washington.

It took me nearly two days to get to California, stopping only for bathroom breaks and gas. I wanted to get as far away from Forks as I possibly could. I wanted to forget all about Forks and Edward Cullen.

I pulled into Berkeley at about nine am on a Tuesday morning, nearly a week after I had caught Edward with Rosalie. I pulled into the twin's neighborhood, which was a small older neighborhood. The houses were well taken care of with perfectly manicured lawns. I pulled up in front of a beige craftsman-style home with a bright red door.

I looked up at the two-story house with big beautiful windows and a small one-car garage with a gray four-door sedan sitting in front of it. It was a cute little house, not something I would ever imagine them to have but I liked it. I made my way up the steps to the porch with my luggage, a couple of whicker chairs sat in front of the large front window on one side and a small wooden swing sat at the other end. I stood in front of the door, nervous to see the girls again. I hadn't seen them since my mother's funeral nearly two nears ago. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I heard footsteps and the door creaked open loudly.

Rachel appeared n the doorway smiling widely. She looked exactly the same as she had two years ago wearing a pale blue button down shirt, a pair of khaki walking shorts and a pair of white flip flops. Her dark hair was brushed out of her face and held back with a black headband. She was always the more conservative one of the two sisters.

"Bella!" Rachel said wrapping her arms around me, hugging me gently. "I am so glad you made it safely." She pulled back and looked me up and down. "You have grown so much since I last saw you. Please come in." She held the door open for me as I lugged in my two suitcases behind me.

"Would you like anything to drink or eat? I can fix you something if you like," she said turning towards the kitchen.

"Oh that would be great," I said setting my luggage near the large beige couch. I followed behind her into the kitchen. It was a decent sized kitchen with a small breakfast nook, a small table with four small wooden chairs stood in the corner near the window.

Rachel started a pot of coffee and turned to look at me, probably trying to remember my favorite breakfast item. She shuffled over to the cupboard, pulling out the bread and popped two pieces into the toaster. She waited patiently for the bread to finish, placing it on a plate and grabbing the butter from the counter, carrying it all to the table.

"Here you go Bella. I hope this is ok," she said setting the plate and butter down in front of me.

"No this is perfect, Rachel. Thank you so much," I said biting into the corner of my wheat bread. "So where is Rebecca?"

"She is at work. She left early this morning around five am. She should be home later on. She is so excited you are visiting"

We sat at the table in silence as I ate my toast and she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. A couple minutes later, she rose from the table, and grabbed the coffee pot, pouring a cup for each of us. She brought the cups back to the table and placed mine near my plate. She watched me as I finished my toast, assessing my mood. She sipped her coffee quietly, her eyes staring into my very soul, trying to figure out what it was that I had run from.

"Rachel, why don't you just go ahead and ask what you are thinking?" I chuckled.

"I am sorry, Bella, I don't want to be rude. You just got here and I want you to relax. You were just very vague on the phone."

"I know and I am sorry but I really had to get out of there." I sipped the coffee, the hot liquid running down my throat, warming my whole body. I relaxed into my chair and set the cup down gently on the table.

"I know what you mean about getting out of there though. We felt the same way about it up there, that is why we left. We love it here though," she said fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth.

"Charlie is in love with a younger woman, Megan Hewitt to be exact," I blurted out.

"Wow, I knew her. She used to watch Jacob when he was little. Her mother was really good friends with our mother."

"I also found my boyfriend in bed with his brother's girlfriend," I said taking another sip of my coffee.

"Woah, Bella that is crazy." She took another sip of her coffee nervously.

"Oh, it gets worse, believe me. I also found out that she happens to be the mother of his child whom his aunt and uncle just so happened to adopt." I set the cup back down on the table.

"Bella, this is something you would see on like…Jerry Springer," she said and I chuckled. I couldn't help but laugh at that because it was absolutely true. This was something you would see on TV. I didn't want to think about it anymore though; I just wanted to get settled in.

After breakfast, she showed me to my room so I could unpack. She led me down a short hallway with four doors. She stopped at the second door on the right hand, opening it slowly and stepping inside. I followed behind her, my two suitcases in tow, and looked around the small room.

The room was smaller than the one I had in Forks. A queen-sized bed sat in the middle of the perfectly square room, a floral bedspread covering it. Two wooden side tables framed the bed and a large dresser stood underneath a large window that was covered with white blinds. The white walls were bare; nothing was decorated in this room. I liked it. A fresh room for a fresh start.

She walked over to the window and pulled open the blinds. The room brightened a bit but not much. I looked out the window at the overcast sky. So much for a change of scenery. It was just as bad here as it was in Forks. She shuffled out of the room, leaving me alone to unpack. I pulled my heavy suitcase up onto the bed and began taking my clothes out and putting them in the dresser.

As I was pulling out my shirts, I saw the Washington State shirt that Alice had given me. I ran my fingers over the lettering. My throat started to tighten as tears pooled up in my eyes. I missed them so much, all the Cullen's. I missed Esme's sweet voice, Carlisle's good natured way, Alice's bubbly personality, Emmett's constant enthusiasm….and Edward….Edward's beautiful green eyes, the way he smiled at me, the way he smelled…No. I wouldn't torture myself like this and I refused to. I shoved the shirt into the back of the drawer and slammed it shut.

"Hey kiddo." I heard a voice call from behind me. I knew exactly who it was without even turning around. It was Rebecca. I turned around and saw her leaning against the doorjamb wearing her normal ensemble of all black, a black tank top, a pair of black work pants and black boots. She had on dark eyeliner and her shiny black hair was cut into a cute angled bob.

I ran over to the door and hugged her rightly. She was my favorite of the sisters. She was a rebel and she sure gave Billy and Sarah a run for their money. She was always getting in trouble when she was younger, and I am sure she hadn't changed one bit.

"Hey Beck," I said leaning back to look up at her. She cupped my face in her hands and looked down into my eyes.

"I am sorry B," she said sadly. "Boys are bastards," she said pulling me back into a hug. Rachel must have told her.

We sat on the bed and I told her all the gory details of the event as she listened intensely to my story of Edward Cullen. I told her how we met, and how I felt in love madly in love with him and how I had come to be here. She just grabbed me and hugged me tightly as I cried, not letting go until I had finished my story. When I finished my story, I was still crying and she simple kissed my forehead and left me alone to my thoughts. She always knew the right thing to do. I needed my alone time.

I grabbed the rest of my clothes, hanging them in the closet or folding them neatly into the drawer, every so often a tear found trickle down my cheek. I pulled out all the bras and pretty panties Alice had bought me and ran my fingers over the fabrics. I remembered all our shopping trips and the tears came down faster still.

Once I had finished unpacking, I sat on the bed. I was so tired, so tired of thinking, so tired of being angry. I took my shoes off and scooted up towards the soft pillow, laying my head down on it and closing my eyes. I curled myself up into a ball, and sobbed quietly, letting one last tear roll down my cheek. That is the last tear I will ever cry over Edward Cullen.

------

A week past, and I still hadn't called Charlie. I didn't want to talk to anyone from back home yet. Rachel had hung out with me during the day since she worked at night as a receptionist at a luxury hotel, taking me shopping, showing me around town, tasting the fine food of the bay area. Rebecca took over at night, staying in with me to watch TV and their old movie collection. Rebecca worked during the day at coffee shop serving people overly priced coffee.

While Rachel was the sweet understanding one, Rebecca was the rebel, she was rough, and tough and took no crap from anyone. She understood the anger I had and she knew I didn't want to talk about it and she never pushed it. She never tried to pretend it would get better. She just let me be. I loved that about Rebecca, she wasn't pushy.

Sometimes she would put on some Alanis Morissette that would make me laugh at her subtle attempt to help with my anger. She called it her "Man Hating" music. We would sit in the living room, music blaring and just listen. I really appreciated Rebecca and Rachel; they were the sisters I never had.

The longer I stayed with them, the more I thought about staying permanently. Charlie called the house a couple times, but I made them tell him I was asleep or out. I felt like he chose Megan over me and I had to just leave. I refused to call Alice for fear she would tell Edward where I had gone. It tore me up because I needed her more than anything else; after all, she was my best friend.

The summer dragged on, and I had been in California nearly a month and Charlie began calling nearly every day. I still wouldn't talk to him; I didn't know how to tell him I wasn't coming home. I had talked to Rebecca and Rachel about staying longer, perhaps even finish out my senior year here, and they both agreed it would be ok to stay only if Charlie said it was ok.

My birthday was coming up in a week and Rachel and Rebecca insisted on doing something special to commemorate the day. I didn't really care; I still wasn't in much of a mood for parties at this point. I spent most of my time moping around the house with Rebecca or Rachel. They decided that it would be a good idea to take me out for birthday dinner and a movie.

I woke up the morning of my birthday to the girls busting into my room and jumping on my bed. I groaned loudly and pulled the pillow over my head. It was way too early for this. They jumped around me, singing "Happy Birthday" in the loudest voices they could manage. I threw the pillow at Rachel who laughed but kept right on singing.

"Bella! It is your birthday! Happy Birthday!" she said sitting down on the bed with a big bounce. Rebecca jumped back down to the floor and knelt in front of me.

"B, you have to get up and enjoy today. It's your birthday and no one should be sad on their birthday."

"Beck, I have every right to be sad," I said sitting up, getting a little bit more defensive than I meant to. Rebecca pulled on my arm, yanking me out of bed. I stood stiff staring at her smiling face but she just grabbed me by my shoulders.

"I refuse to let you mope about this anymore. If you want to live here, you are going to get out and do stuff and live your life. What he did was horrible and we all agree about him being a scummy human being but are you really going to let one small situation control your life like this?" She said staring at me.

She was right on so many different levels. He was controlling my life, even not being in it. I had to tell Charlie I was going to live here, and hopefully he would agree to let me stay for the school year and after that, I would be free, I would be eighteen next year and it didn't matter what he said after that.

I finally decided I would let them take me out so I showered and dressed as Rachel made me breakfast fit for a king. After breakfast they took me to a book store, where we picked up a couple books for me to read, and then they took me to some clothing stores where they insisted on picking me out a couple of outfits. They insisted on paying for it because they said it was a birthday present.

We decided to come home for lunch before heading out later on to go to a movie and to dinner. Rebecca pulled the gray sedan into the driveway and we noticed a small blue car parked behind mine. Rebecca and Rachel looked back and forth from each other and smiled. _What were these two up to_?

"Someone is here," I said quickly. Rachel stopped the car and I got out slowly as they walked up the steps to the porch. I followed behind them, unsure of what was going on when I saw it. I was walking up the steps and I saw Charlie sitting in one of the whicker chairs, a bag sitting next to him. He got to his feet the second he saw me, standing their awkwardly as I climbed the steps slowly.

"Hi Bells," he said holding his arms out to me. "Happy Birthday honey." I stepped into his waiting arms slowly as he wrapped them around me.

I hated to admit it, but I really had missed Charlie. I pushed my head into his shirt, the familiar smell of home lingering on his clothes. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I pulled back and looked up into his face; his eyes looked like he was going to cry. He missed me, I could tell and it made me feel really bad.

He grabbed his bag from the floor next to the chair and led me into the house. We all went into the living room and sat down, staring at each other. I sat in the chair next to the couch where Charlie was sitting and waited for an explanation. I looked back and forth between the girls who were grinning madly.

"So how do you like it here Bella?" he said leaning his elbows onto his knees.

"You came all this way to ask how I like it here?" I said raising my right eyebrow.

"Well…no I didn't but since you don't want to talk to me over the phone, I might as well ask you. I have been talking with Rachel and Rebecca and they tell me that you want to stay here." I was shocked, caught off guard. He already knew.

"Well, I was going to tell you Dad but…" I stopped suddenly. But what? Why hadn't I said anything to him? I had been here over a month.

"Bella, I knew you weren't going to come home once you came here, at least not as soon as you had said you would be back. I spoke with Alice…" I froze, oh how I missed her, "…she calls every day for you Bella. Why haven't you told her where you are? She is worried about you."

"Dad it really isn't something I would like to get into right now," I said looking at the twins for help.

"Oh, Bella, please no need. Alice gave me the run down once you left. She told me about Edward." I cringed at his name, I could feel the tears started to well in my eyes, my chest tightened and I nearly couldn't breath. I calmed myself for a moment before I spoke again.

"Yes, well I don't really want to talk to him and if I tell her where I am he might find out and…it's really none of his business what the hell I do," I said raising my voice slightly.

"I completely agree with you about him, it is none of his business what you do, sweetie, but Alice is your best friend and she is worried about you. I am not telling you what to do, I am just suggesting. She does call every day for news."

"Did you tell her where I was?" I didn't want her to know, at least not from Charlie. I guess I would have to break down and call her.

"No Bella, I figured you would tell her when you are ready," he said getting to his feet. "Anyways, enough about this. It's your birthday, we should be celebrating."

"Where is Megan?" He looked down at me quickly, a look of shock on his face.

"She is…she is at home. She had some stuff she had to take care of," he said quickly. He was lying. I don't care what she was doing, I was glad she hadn't come.

A couple hours after Charlie had arrived; we cleaned up and headed out to dinner at this amazing Thai restaurant up the street. Charlie was reluctant about eating this strange food considering all he ate was steak and spaghetti. He actually enjoyed it after he had tasted it but no such luck as getting it in Forks where they didn't have Thai food. Such a shame because I was absolutely in love with it now.

After dinner, we headed over to the movie theater to watch one of the up and coming movies. It was a romantic comedy that Rachel had picked out and it was the first time since I had been here that I actually forgot him. I was glad my father had come; I missed him more than I had expected. We drove back to the house in silence and piled into the house in the same manner. Charlie started to head up the stairs when I stopped him.

"Thanks, Dad for coming for my birthday. I really appreciate it."

"No problem Bells," he said leaning down and kissing me on the forehead.

"How long are you staying for?" I shocked myself because I really didn't want him to go.

"Well Bells, I am police chief so I have to get back soon. Who knows what trouble may be stirring while I am gone," he said winking. God know there is never any trouble in Forks.

"School starts in a couple weeks you know. I guess I have to go sign you up for something before I leave," he said rubbing the back of his head nervously.

"You are going to let me stay here?" I nearly screamed. I couldn't believe this.

"Well, what else am I supposed to do, Bella? You won't exactly make things easy on me unless I do and I trust the girls to watch you. They are good girls," he said glancing over my shoulder at the Rebecca and Rachel who were standing in the living room.

"Thank you so much Dad," I said hugging him tightly. "This means so much to me."

"I just hope you come home to visit occasionally and keep in touch regularly. I miss you Bella. Megan is nice to have around but I really do miss you."

"I miss you too Dad." He smiled at me, headed up the stairs, and disappeared down the hall.

I could not believe my father of all people had just given me my freedom. Ever since mom died, he has always been so protective of me. I turned to look at the girls, who jumped up and down excitedly for me. I gave them a smile and headed down the hall to my room. This had just turned into the best birthday present I could have possibly received from my father.

-------

We drove my father to the airport two days later. He had signed me up at the local high school for classes before leaving which pleased me beyond belief. I was going to miss him very much, especially his overprotective ways. I hugged him tightly as he headed for the airplane.

"I love you, Dad," I said not letting go of his neck.

"I love you too, Bells. Don't worry its not like you will never see me again," he said pulling my arms off his neck. "Call me once school starts and let me know how it goes," he said turning to give his boarding pass to the attendant.

"Alright, I will I promise." I really did mean it though.

"Oh, by the way," he said turning back towards me, "please call Alice, will you? She won't stop calling the house until she hears from you. She probably thinks I cut you up and hid you in the walls." He laughed loudly as he handed the flight attendant his ticket. The short woman just stared at him with a shocked look on her face.

"I was kidding, ma'am. As you can plainly see I didn't cut my daughter up, she is standing right there," he said pointing to me and I waved. She took his ticket and just huffed in disgust. He shrugged, waved and disappeared down the hallways towards the plane.

I walked back to the car with Rebecca and Rachel, tears trickling down my cheek. He really was a great dad once I thought about it. It was just so sad he had waited so long to be one. We headed home in silence; the girls never pressured me to talk. I was excited to be starting over new here, but I was sad to be leaving everything behind in Forks.

Over the next couple of weeks, I started to prepare for school. I went school shopping for supplies and clothes since all the clothes I had were for the weather back in Forks; jeans, sweaters and sweatshirts. I decided if I was going to live here in California, I should start dressing like it. By the time, I had finish shopping I had used up all of my savings. I decided that I needed to look for a job.

Rebecca told me they were hiring at the coffee shop she worked at so she decided to talk to her manager who told me to come in to talk with him. I was a little nervous and didn't have nice enough clothes for an interview but I wore the nicest thing I could find in my closet, a pair of khaki pants and a pink blouse that Rachel had let me borrow.

I showed up at the coffee shop nearly five minutes early and walked up to the counter where Rebecca was standing. She gave me thumbs up and pointed in the direction of a man who had his back towards me. I slowly approached the man who was putting bags of coffee onto a shelf. I cleared my throat loudly and he turned around.

He turned around towards me quickly, dropping the bag of coffee to the floor. I stared at him a moment. He was definitely not what I would have pictured a coffee shop manager to look like. He was a very handsome man, no more than twenty-three with light brown hair, tan skin and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. I think I must be blushing because he smiled at me.

We both bent down to pick up the bag of coffee that he had dropped and we bumped foreheads. I fell back onto the floor and rubbed my forehead as he stood up. He smiled down at me, offered me his hand, which I gladly took and he pulled me up, still flashing me his perfect white teeth as I brushed myself off. I held my hand out to him to introduce myself.

"Hi, I am Isabella Swan." He took my hand and shook it gently, never taking his eyes from mine.

"You must be Rebecca's friend," he said still shaking my hand. I nodded and blushed again.

"I am Ryan Peters." He looked like a Ryan. I looked him up and down taking him in. He was tall, lean and just so pretty to look at. "So you are here about the job, right?"

"Oh, yeah, if you have time right now." I said shyly.

"Yeah, course. Um, we can talk in the office," he said heading for a door near the kitchen. He opened it and led me into a very small office with a desk and two chairs placed neatly in front of it.

He motioned towards one of the chairs and he took the seat behind the desk. I sat down nervously and looked around the room at all the plaques on the wall. He fumbled around the desk with some papers and pulled a pen from a coffee mug that was sitting near the telephone. He looked up at me before clearing his throat.

"So, Isabella, what was your last job?" he said holding the pen in his hand, waiting to write down my answer.

"It's actually, Bella," I said, my voice betraying my nervousness.

"Ok, Bella. What was your last job?"

"I used to work at an outdoor equipment store in Forks." He wrote something furiously on his paper, nodding, then looking back up to me.

"And can you give me a list of your regular duties?"

"I swept the floors, stocked shelves, greeted and helped customers, I handled money, manned the cash register. You name it I did it there." I said smiling. He wrote something again on the paper and nodded.

"Well, we are only looking for someone part time as of right now. You are in college right?" _Did I look that old_? I wish I were that old.

"No," I said blushing, "I am still in high school." He nodded again slowly and rubbed his chin.

"Well then, I suppose you could only work after school then." I nodded back to him and he rubbed his chin again. "I suppose we can work with that. Say 3:30 to closing which is 7:00pm a couple times a week? Does that work for you?"

"Oh yes, thank you," I said staring into his blue eyes.

"Good, well when can you start?"

"As soon as possible."

"Well, we need to get you an apron and a name tag made. Today is Thursday, so let's say you start Saturday?" I nodded in agreement.

"That works for me."

"Great, well let's get you to sign some paperwork and we will go over the details," he said rummaging through a drawer.

I filled out a couple forms and he went over the job requirements before introducing me to some of the other staff. Rebecca, of course, I already knew, an odd looking girl who couldn't have been more than sixteen, named Melanie. She had short bright red hair and was perky as a cheerleader who drank too much Redbull.

"Hi, I am Melanie," she said bouncing up and down. She held her hand out to me and I shook it cautiously.

"It's so nice to meet you Bella. We don't really have any younger people working here and …." she started but I stopped listening to her. She was talking far too fast for me to understand anyways. I just smiled and nodded.

"Well Bella, we shall see you Wednesday at 3:30 then." He smiled at me and he shook my hand again. Man he sure was gorgeous. I walked out of the coffee shop and headed home, my headed clouded with images of Ryan the whole way.

Rebecca came home a couple hours later and I was in my room. She ran into the room and jumped on my bed just as I was writing in a notebook. She stretched out on her stomach, leaning towards me on her elbows. She stared up at me and I started laughing.

"Beck! Why didn't you tell me your boss is a massive hottie?" I said seriously. She laughed hysterically, rolling onto her back.

"Ryan? Yeah, he is quite the looker isn't he? He is nice too. One girl that works during the mornings has a huge thing for him. Watch out for that one though, she is feisty. She is a spitfire little blonde girl named Vanessa." I nodded and made a mental note.

------

I woke up to the alarm blaring. I slammed my hand down on the alarm beside the side table, the annoying noise ceasing. Peace once again. I rubbed my eyes a moment and looked around the dimly lit room. It was still early but I wanted to get up so I could get ready. I stumbled out of bed, grabbed my bathroom bag and headed towards the bathroom.

The house was still quiet, Rebecca must have already left for work and Rachel must be asleep from working the graveyard shift at work. I stepped into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind me and ran the shower. I took a quick shower, stepped out and dried myself off quickly. I brushed my teeth and brushed my hair out quickly before heading back to the room to get dressed. I looked through the closet not finding anything that pleased me. I was getting frustrated as I pushed the clothes aside. I heard someone come into the room and looked up. Rachel was standing near the bed smiling at me and holding a cup of coffee. She held the cup out to me, yawning loudly then smiling. I took the cup from her quickly and sipped the hot coffee.

"Do you need any help?" she offered.

"How can you tell?" I said chuckling. She got up from the bed and I stepped back as she looked through my clothes.

She grabbed a pair of dark boot cut jeans and through them on the bed before turning to my dresser and rummaging through the shirts. She pulled out a blue, pink and green plaid tube top and set it beside the jeans. The shirt was one that Rachel had picked out for me while shopping. I did not wear stuff like that but I was not about to tell them that. She looked down at the closet floor, looking over my small collection of shoes. She pulled out my white cork platform shoes and handed them to me.

"There you go, and if you need some I have the perfect earrings to match this," she said heading towards the door and winking before she exited.

I began to dress slowly putting the jeans on first. I was definitely unsure of how this tube top was going to look on me. Thankfully, Alice had taken me bra shopping and had bought me a strapless bra, which was going to come in handy for this. I pulled the strapless bra on and then the tube top on over it. I felt so naked.

I headed towards the bathroom, drying my hair and then slowly curling my hair. I turned my head in the mirror once I was finished, the curls bouncing softly. It was almost as good as when Alice had done it. I put only a little bit of make up on, just to highlight my eyes and a coat of mascara. I looked in the mirror, pleased with the end result and headed towards the kitchen where I smelled food.

I sat down at the table just as Rachel was plating the food. She brought the food to the table and placed it down in front of me. Sausage, eggs, hash brown and toast. I looked up at her and smiled as she took the seat next to me.

"Rach, you didn't have to do all this for me," I said taking a bite of my toast.

"It's your first day Bella! I wanted to get you off to a good start," she said sipping her orange juice.

"You barely got any sleep! You should go back to sleep."

"I am fine; I don't have to work until five. I can get plenty of sleep. Eat up."

I finished my breakfast, turned to the clock and realized I had thirty minutes before I had to be to school. Luckily, the school was just down the street. I put my plate in the sink, grabbed my shoes and tote bag, slipping my shoes on quickly and headed out the door.

The traffic was light on the way to school and I pulled into the student parking lot of Berkeley High School, Home of the yellowjackets. _The yellowjackets, huh_? _How very scary_. I pulled into a parking spot near the office and looked around. There were tons of students hanging out in the parking lot, just like Forks.

I grabbed my bag, stepped out of the car and adjusted my tube top that was slowly sliding down. I slung my bag over my shoulder, heading for the front office. I looked around at all the people that stood outside. There were so many more students here. I started to get nervous as I pulled the door open and the cool air of the office blew my hair lightly back out of my face. I stepped up to the front counter where a short, stocky woman with black hair and glasses was sitting. She looked up at me, adjusting her glasses on her nose and smiled.

"How can I help you dear?" she said folding her hands in front of her.

"I am a new student. I need to get my schedule," I said shifting my weight from foot to foot.

"Your name and grade, dear?"

"Isabella, Isabella Swan. I am a senior" She sorted through cards in a large black box on the desk. She was silent for a moment before she had found my card and pulled it from the box.

She began typing quickly on the keyboard, hmming and nodding. She clicked the mouse a couple of times and the printer next to her began to start up, a fresh piece of paper falling into the paper holder. She turned and pulled the paper off the holder and looked it over.

She handed me the paper, which I took carefully. It was still warm. I held it out and went over the schedule.

"Alright dear, these are the classes you have been enrolled in. We received your transcripts from your previous school and these are based on your current academic achievements thus far. "I nodded at her and she handed me a map of the school.

"This will come in handy in case you get lost. Did you have any other questions?" She said staring up at me.

"No…no thanks," I said turning around and heading out of the office.

I walked over to one of the benches near the office and went over my schedule carefully. I still had twenty minutes before my first class started. Their schedule was a bit different from the one at Forks but I think I could manage. My first class was Chemistry, then Trigonometry, English, lunch, PE, American Government, and then finally, Art. I marked all the classes off on my map, and headed off for Chemistry.

The building was nearly all away across campus so when I finally reached the classroom, I had five minutes left. I stepped inside of the classroom that was nearly full and I took the closest seat to the door next to a very tall pretty girl with blonde hair. She smiled as I sat down, placing my tote bag on the table.

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, watching her flip her long blonde hair. She almost looked like a movie star. She was wearing a short black skirt and a bright pink top paired with matching bright pink high heels. Her hair was a perfect platinum color, perfectly straightened and she was wearing somewhat heavy make up with bright pink eye shadow and heavy black eyeliner. She had pretty brown eyes surrounded by long black lashes and perfectly pink pouty lips.

She turned to look at me and smiled as she pulled a feathered pink pen out of her pink designer handbag that was sitting on the table in front of us. She must be rich to be carrying around all that. I heard someone clear their throat and I looked up to see an attractive tall dark haired man standing behind a long lab table. _What was it with this place? Was everyone around here good looking_?

He rested his hands flat on the table, leaning forward and looking around the table. He waited until the class was quiet and all eyes were on him before he moved. He turned to the board and wrote in large letters on the board, "Chemistry." Underneath that, he wrote his name in giant letters. Mr. Giordano. He turned and addressed us, passed out the syllabus and continued to tell us about what he would be teaching this semester.

The girl beside me nudged me lightly and smiled. She mouthed something to me but I am not really good at reading lips so I motioned to her to write it down. She tore a piece of paper from her notebook and began to write something on it then passed it to me. I looked down at the paper and read her perfectly neat handwriting.

"My name is Heidi Gardner." I scribbled my name on the paper and passed it back to her. She looked up at me and smiled.

The rest of the class we passed notes back and forth as Mr. Giordano went over the syllabus. She seemed nice enough, which surprised me. She asked where I was from and what grade I was. At the end of class she said bye and we both went in opposite ways down the hallway.

The rest of the day was much similar as far as class wise; all the teachers went over the syllabus not much talking. I had met a couple of people in some of my classes. They all seemed nice enough. Once the last bell rang I was ready to go home, I was ready to go home and call Alice. All these strange people made me miss her even more.

I practically ran to my car and pulled out of the parking lot as quickly as I could before the traffic started to pile up. I headed back home and made it there in nearly five minutes, which surprised me. I raced up the porch steps, hurried into the house and dropped my bag on the couch before running into the kitchen. I grabbed the phone that hung on the wall and sat down at the kitchen table, staring down at the number pad.

I tried to dial her number twice but I hung up. I was so nervous and I know she was going to be upset with me. I dialed her number again, the phone rang once, twice, three times, and then someone picked up.

"Hello?" Carlisle's voice was on the other line. I tried to lower my voice in hopes he wouldn't recognize it

"Is Alice there?" I said in the voice.

"Bella? Is that you?" I closed my eyes. _Damn it_, I couldn't fool him.

"Yes Dr. Cullen," I said sadly.

"Alice actually just walked in the door. Let me get her." I heard him set the phone down and I could hear voices but I couldn't make out what they were saying and then I heard Alice's infamous squeal.

"Bella?" she nearly screamed into the phone.

"Alice! Hey!" I said, tears welling in my eyes but I fought them back.

"Bella, where have you been? I have been so worried about you!" She said angrily.

"I know, I know I just….I had to get away." There was silence for a moment and then she spoke again.

"Are you ok? Where are you? I have so many questions," she said softly.

"I am ok, I am…well I am not in Forks right now."

"Well I know that, I have gone to your house many times. Charlie told me you were ok but he won't tell me where you were. Some girl is living in your house with Charlie."

"Yeah, I know. That's one of the reasons I am not there."

"Well, where are you Bella?" she said sternly. Silence. I didn't want to tell her. _Was he around? Could he hear her? Did he know she was talking to me_?

"He's not here if that is what you are thinking," she said answering my question. She knew me all too well.

"He's not? Did he go back to Chicago?" _Damn it, I don't care anymore_.

"No, he hasn't gotten back from school yet. School started two weeks ago. Are you not coming back? It's your senior year, Bella," she said a hint of sadness in her voice. I hated putting her through this.

"Alice….Alice I think I am going to stay here for awhile."

"Where is here? Please Bella, I won't tell him. You know I won't. You are my best friend!"

"I know I am sorry. I am in California with Jacob's sisters."

"WHAT?" she nearly screamed.

"I know, I told you, I had to get away after what he did." I couldn't even say his name.

"You sure missed a lot around here that is for sure."

"I did?"

"Rose got banned from the house until she went off to Texas with Emmett. Emmett doesn't even know what happened. No one will tell him which I think is absolute bull but whatever I have been sworn to secrecy. And well…Ed…."

"I don't care Alice; I don't want to talk about him or it anymore," I said the tears starting to well up in my eyes again.

"Look, Bella, you really should…"

"Alice, I really have to get going. I have a ton of homework to do. I will call you later," I said quickly and hung up the phone.

I didn't want to hear the explanation. I didn't want to feel bad for him; I didn't want any of it. He deserved everything that he was given if not more. He made his choice to lie to me and then to spend the night in bed with her. There was no explanation for that, none. I decided it was best if I didn't call Alice back any time soon. As much as I loved her, I had to give myself time to heal even if that meant losing my best friend. We all make sacrifices and this was mine and I was ready to accept it, I just hoped that she would forgive me one day after all this has passed. Hope was all I had left.

* * *

A/N:

I hope you all appreciate this. Tell me how much you love it! (or not) ha!


	18. Everything's coming up roses for me

**I don't own them.......BOOOOOOO!**

**A/N: Okey dokey, soooo, I know I am afraid to post as I might get chased down the streets with pitchforks but patience my readers I will not fail you. It will all be ok, I haven't let you down so far, have I? **

**Chapter 18**

**Bella**

"BELLA!" I had just walked into the cafeteria when I heard my name. I turned to see Bradley Pierce standing up and waving at me from across the cafeteria. He was wearing a pale pink polo shirt, the collar flipped up, dark jeans and his dark brown hair styled into a faux hawk. I headed towards the table and he flashed me his usual perfect smile.

"Hey Bella," he said sitting and patting the seat next to him.

"Hey Bradley," I said. I looked down at him, his hazel eyes sparkled at me as I took the seat and looked around the table.

It was the usual crowd of friends. Selena, a sweet girl who had a great sense of humor with pretty dark hair. I had met her couple of days into the semester in my Chemistry class. Sitting next to her was Sophie, Bradley's fraternal twin sister. She was an extraordinarily pretty blonde with hazel eyes to match her brother's and an attitude you wouldn't believe. Blake was next, a strawberry blonde senior who was best friends with Selena. Blake was usually the shy quiet one who hardly said a word and Bradley, of course, was sitting in the middle of the table surrounded by them.

"Bella, I have so much to tell you," he said placing his hand on top of mine. I pulled my sack lunch from my bag and set it on the table.

"Well, let's hear it Bradley," I said turning my attention to him, just the way he liked it.

"So this morning in Physics, I was sitting next to Mark and we were just flirting away as usual when Steven Johnson came strolling into the room. Mark practically started drooling right in front of me. I was like, umm hello? I couldn't believe he did that right in front of me. Could you believe that Bella?" he said looking me dead in the eye.

"What a jerk, Bradley. You should totally dump him," I said turning back to my lunch, trying not to laugh. He always got so worked up about stuff.

"So Bella, what are you doing tonight?" Selena said as she chewed on a celery stick.

"I have to work tonight," I said pulling out my sandwich and biting into it.

"Oh, bummer," she said hanging her head.

"Oh, I wouldn't call that a bummer," Sophie said smirking. "Have you scoped out the man candy that runs that place? I wouldn't mind working there," she said winking at me.

"Who? Ryan? He's alright," I said trying to hide my excitement.

"Oh, honey, that boy has the body of Adonis," Bradley said, a big smirk on his face. "The things I would do to him!" He winked at me and I blushed profusely.

The bell rang loudly and we all groaned. I gathered up the rest of my half-eaten lunch and took off towards the gym for P.E. I headed towards the locker room to dress out and then off to meet the rest of the class down on the track. Ms. Kinzel stood with her clipboard waiting for the class to finish gathering.

As much as I hated P.E., I loved Ms. Kinzel. She was by far the best teacher I ever had. She was a short woman, shorter than I was, probably around 5'3, extremely tan and fit with her auburn hair in a short bob cut. She always wore these thin-rimmed gold oval glasses, which were always sliding, down her nose. Today she was dressed in black running pants, a white t-shirt and, white running shoes. Well, guess we are running today, great.

She had us running the track today, two miles with a partner. I just so happened to get stuck with the only other person in the school that just so happened to be just as clumsy as I was, Sasha Miller. She was one of those girls you would see sitting in the cafeteria by herself reading a book. She was paler than I was, with dark brown hair and thick black rimmed glasses. We, of course, ran the two miles, and we ended up in last place, which wasn't surprising considering our athletic ability.

I was glad once class was over. I hadn't broken anything and I had only tripped twice. I hurried up to the locker room, changed back into my clothes and headed off for my next class hoping to God the rest of the day passed quickly.

-----

I was running nearly ten minutes late for work when I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car. I ran as fast as I could without falling, pulled open the employee entrance and leaned down, hands on my knees to catch my breath. Suddenly a pair of shoes appeared in front of my eyes and I stood up to see Ryan standing in front of me wiping his hands off on a towel.

"Bella, you ok?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, I am really sorry Ryan, I just got stuck in some mad traffic. It won't happen again."

"Don't worry about it, I'm not," he said flashing me his pearly whites. Boy, that smile made me giddy. I grabbed my apron from the hook on the wall, tying it behind my back and heading out to the counter.

Rebecca was already standing behind the register taking orders as Melanie was making drinks. I hopped into place, helping Melanie make the drinks and she immediately started talking. This might be a long night.

"Bella, where have you been? I thought you died or something. You should have been here earlier there were so many customers it was so…" she rambled on and I nodded.

"Sorry Melanie, I got stuck in traffic." I said in hopes of her shutting up but she rambled on again. I quickly made drink after drink as the line continued to get longer. Ryan even came out to help Rebecca with the register.

After about an hour, it died down a bit and after Rebecca left, I decided I needed a break from Melanie so I swept and mop the floors in the front. I cleared the tables, cleaned up the condiment table, rearranging the creamers, sugars and straws, and clean the front windows.

It was near closing and it was just Melanie, Ryan and I left in the store. One last customer drifted in five minutes to closing and I figured I would just ring her up and fix her drink while they were in the back closing up. After the woman left, I locked the front door, turned off the open sign and shut down the overhead lights.

"Bye Bella," Melanie said waving from the doorway.

"Bye Melanie," I said wiping my brow and heading towards the back. I hung my apron on the hook and grabbed my back. The office light was on so I headed over to tell him I was leaving.

"I am going home," I said peaking my head around the corner of the office door. He was sitting behind the desk, brows furrowed as he was writing something down in a big book. He looked up when he heard me and smiled.

"Alright Bella," he said setting his pen down.

"I already locked the front door and turned off the lights so you are all set." He nodded and smiled. I turned to leave when he called my name.

"Bella?" he said getting up from the desk.

"Yeah?" I said coming back into the doorway.

"I was wondering if maybe….you would like to hang out sometime," he said coming around the desk and leaning back against it. I wasn't sure what he meant.

"You mean like… outside of work?" I must have sounded stupid.

"Well, yeah, I mean, you know, go catch a movie or lunch or something," he chuckled.

"Well…" I was definitely not good at this, "I guess so." I had never really been experienced with guys. Edward was the only guy I had ever really dated and that was completely unconventional. It had been nearly 4 months since I had broken up with Edward and I wasn't absolutely sure I wanted to start something up just yet.

"What are you doing right now?" He gave me a crooked smile and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, its 7:30 so I was…..pretty much going to go home and have some dinner with…"

"You want to get a bite to eat with me?" I gulped. Oh God. My knees started to shake, my palms started to sweat.

"Um, well sure," I managed to squeak and he smiled.

"Well let me get my coat and we can leave," he said grabbing his coat from the back of his chair. "I've got something I want to show you."

Ryan locked up the store and we headed towards out to the parking lot towards his car, or so I thought. There was no car in the parking lot only a motorcycle. Wow, that was surprising…or maybe it wasn't. He headed for the motorcycle and pulled his keys out. I stopped a couple of feet away and stared at the bike. I had never been on a motorcycle before. He picked up a helmet from the back and handed it to me. I hesitated and he chuckled at me.

"What's wrong Bella? It won't bite," he said grinning as I stared at the bright red motorcycle that said "Indian" on the side.

"I…I just have never ridden on a motorcycle before. I mean, is it safe?" I said taking a small step forward. I looked at the shiny chrome handlebars, the black leather seat and the black saddle bags. There was even a place for me to sit.

"I promise you will be safe," he said pushing the helmet towards me again. I lifted my hand slowly and took the helmet from him. He smiled at me as I placed the helmet over my head, then he pulled his on next. I walked slowly towards the bike and looked down at the seat, touching the soft black leather, running my fingers up and down it.

"Get on," he winked and I picked my foot off the ground to swing it over but my foot caught the back of the seat and I stumbled back. Ryan quickly reached out and grabbed me before I could fall, my face blushing red as usual. He helped me onto the bike and he got on after me.

I started shaking as I sat against the seat, trying to relax as I clutched my bag. He turned around and grabbed my bag, placing it in the saddle bag hanging from the side. He tapped my helmet and turned back around, starting the engine. It roared loudly, almost so loudly I couldn't even hear myself think.

"Are you ready?" he shouted back to me and I nodded nervously. "Hold on to me," he said grabbing my hand and wrapping it around his tight body. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried not to tremble against him. He pulled out of the parking lot slowly and turned down the street away from the cafe.

I was a little nervous as the wind rushed past us, the rumble of the bike voiding out any other sounds. I watched as the cars passed by quickly as we picked up speed. The faster we got, the tighter I held onto him, the closer I became until I was completely pressed up against his back. I could feel his heart pounding and I am sure he could feel mine.

I leaned my head against his back as I listened to the wind whip past us and the motorcycle roar down the street. I felt the bike start to slow down and I lifted my head as I saw us pull into a parking lot of a large red brick building. He parked the bike near the building, turned it off, and pulled off his helmet.

"You can let go now," he said snickering. I forgot I had been holding onto him. I quickly released my grip on him and sat back as he pulled my helmet off for me. I shook out my hair as he watched me, a big smirk on his face.

"So, where are we?" I said slowly getting down off the bike.

"It's an art gallery," he said putting our helmets back on the bike.

"You….you brought me to an art gallery?" I stuttered. I wasn't dressed for that. "What for? I am not dressed for this," I said looking down at my worn jeans, a hole in the knee, and my black polo work t-shirt.

"Don't worry about it Bella, it's pretty causal. Come on, I want you to see this," he said grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards the entrance.

Once inside, it was a large brick building with paintings, pictures and sculptures at every turn. I looked around the large room and there were a couple of people moving from picture to picture, sculpture to sculpture. Everything looked so expensive and fancy, but why was he bringing me here?

He let go of my wrist and I headed towards the back of the building to a section that was more out of the way. I tried to glance at all the paintings but he was walking far too fast until he stopped so suddenly that I nearly ran into him.

"So what do you think?" he said pointing to a series of pictures that hung on the brick wall. I stepped closer to examine the first one he had pointed to.

The picture was of a young woman standing naked with her back to me holding a large clay pot in her hands above her head. Her face was rather beautiful, her long blonde hair fell down her back nearly covering her exposed butt. It was so lovely. I moved on to the next one and it was a scruffy old man with a little boy sitting in his lap with a book. The colors were so vibrate, the detailing on the faces were so wonderful.

"These are beautiful," I said brushing past Ryan as he stood watching me.

"I am glad you like them," he said crossing his arms.

I moved onto the next picture and it was a picture of a little girl who was swinging on a tire swing that was hanging from a large tree, a big smile spread across her face. I couldn't get over the details in the pictures and the bright colors.

"I painted them," he said leaning over my shoulder and whispering into my ear. I turned around quickly to look at him as he wore a big smile.

"You…you did that?" I said shocked.

"Yeah, I paint in my spare time," he said casually like it was nothing.

"Ryan…..these are so good," I said turning back towards them and that's when I noticed his initials in the corner. He wasn't lying.

"Thank you. I attend classes at the San Francisco Art Institute when I am not working. That's why I work the night shift," he said rubbing his chin while staring at one of the paintings.

"This place is wonderful. Thank you for showing me this," I said touching his arm lightly.

"Thank you for coming," he said as he laid his hand on top of mine.

We left the art gallery after he had said goodbye to a couple of people in the gallery and he took me to a nice sushi restaurant. I wasn't too keen on sushi but he kept raving about it. At around 10:00, he drove me back to my car that was still parked at the coffee shop.

He helped me off the bike and I handed him the helmet as he lifted his off his head as he sat on the bike. He turned off the engine and all was silent.

"Thank you for dinner," I said running my hands through my helmet hair trying to untangle it.

"I had fun and I am glad you liked my paintings," he said hooking the helmet onto the backseat.

"You are very talented, Ryan."

"I would like to paint you someday…you know if you wouldn't mind," he said and I think I blushed ten different shades.

"Maybe," I managed. What do you say to that? As long as I was fully clothed. I chuckled at my own thought.

"What's so funny?" he said and I shook my head.

"Nothing." I rocked back and forth on my heels for a minute, the silence getting awkward.

"Well, you better get home, I don't want Rebecca to be all worried about you. She can be mean when she wants to be," he said winking. I couldn't help but laugh because it was so true.

He pulled my tote bag out of the saddlebag and handed it to me. I pulled my keys from my bag and smiled at him. I turned towards my car, walking slowly back as he sat on his bike and watched.

I got in the car and he started the bike, put the helmet back on his head and skid out of the parking lot. I pulled out behind him and headed towards the house. I was a little worried that Rachel was going to give me a speech. I hardly ever stayed out this late and I hadn't called her to let her know where I was.

I pulled up to the house and shut the engine off, the whole house was dark. I hesitated a moment as I grabbed my keys and back, heading up the front steps onto the porch. I fumbled with my keys for a moment and put the key in the door when the door swung open. I looked up quickly to see Rachel standing in the doorway, hands on her hips.

"Isabella Marie!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house.

"Rachel I am sorry I didn't call," she said pushing me down on the couch.

"Do you know what your father would do if he knew you were out this late on a school night? I promised him I would take care of you, Bella. We are getting you a cell phone so you no longer have an excuse not to call." I looked up at her as she stood above me, hands on her hips. She looked so much like her mother, Sarah.

"I am sorry Rachel, I am."

"Where have you been anyways?" She said sitting on the coffee table in front of me.

"I went to dinner. With….Ryan." Her eyes grew wide.

"With Ryan? Ryan Peters? Your boss? Bella, are you sure this is such a good idea? I mean isn't that against code of conduct or something?"

"It was just dinner, it's not like we are dating," I reassured her. She nodded and I headed to my room for bed.

"You better hope that's all it is, Bella. He is an older guy. Charlie would have my head for this," she called after me as I walked into my room, closing the door behind me.

------

"So how was work last night," Bradley said as he chewed on a sandwich the next day at lunch.

"Oh, you know, boring as usual," I said pulling my lunch out.

"Well that's not what I heard," Sophie said smirking at me. Bradley turned to Sophie and raised his eyebrow.

"Oh, Sophie, spill it," he said turning completely around to face her. God, Sophie was such a gossip queen. How did she find out anyways?

"So in math class today I was talking to Kristy who works across the street from the café at the bookstore. She told me," she said looking at me , " that she saw Bella and Ryan take off together on Ryan's motorcycle." Everyone at the table gasped. I closed my eyes and sighed.

Bradley turned around, mouth gaping open. I looked down at the table and began to situated my food in front of me as he rested his hand on my shoulder. Everyone at the table started talking quickly about it as if I wasn't even sitting here.

"Bella, is this true?" Bradley said as I looked up, the whole table was staring at me. They all looked like they were holding their breaths waiting for my answer.

"Well, we just went to this art gallery where he has a couple paintings feature," I said quickly, hoping the discussion would be over.

"Wait, he is an artist?" Bradley said.

"Yeah, he goes to school in San Francisco at the Art Institute."

"Bella, my God, this guy is absolutely perfect. Is he…good?" Bradley's new found fascination with Ryan was starting to scare me.

"Yeah, he is actually really good."

"How freaking dreamy is thaaaat? He's like all James Deanish." Bradley said. I started to laugh. Did he really just compare Ryan to James Dean? Hardly. I rolled my eyes.

------

Over the next couple weeks, Ryan and I started to hang out more often. A couple of time we had just grabbed some dinner from a small deli down the street after work and once he took me into the city to view some artwork from one of his professor in a prestigious gallery.

It wasn't a surprise when one night he had come over after his shift to hang out again. He knocked on the door and when I answered it I let him in. Rachel stood in the doorway of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel, her eyebrows raised. Alright, so she was right, but I couldn't help it, he was so awesome. I glared at her and she shuffled back into the kitchen chuckling.

"What was that all about?" he smiled at me.

"Nothing," I said smirking.

"Alriiight," he chuckled. "So I sort of have a surprise for you." I raised my eyebrow. I hate surprises.

"Um, what kind of surprise?"

"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it?"

"Well, let me tell Rachel I am leaving and grab my ball and chain, I mean my cell phone." I said turning and heading for the kitchen. She always made me carry that damn thing.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Rachel standing with her back to me at the sink. I heard the clanking of the dishes in the sink as she washed them. I touched her shoulder and she jumped, nearly dropping a plate to the floor.

"Bella, you scared me!" She said placing the plate back in the sink.

"I am going out with Ryan," I said innocently.

"Mhm, of course you are. What did I tell you about that Bella?" she said sternly. God, she was so parental sometimes.

"I know, I know but I will have my cell phone on," I said picking it up from the counter, and twirling it in my hand. She sighed heavily and nodded,

"It's Friday but I want you home no later than midnight. If Charlie finds out I am letting you out at all hours with boys, he will kill me," she warned as I wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" I whispered into her ear.

"You really like this one, huh?" she said smirking slightly.

"Yes, he is just….so different." I said smiling.

"Yeah, they all seem different at first. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

I turned around and winked at her on my way out of the kitchen. I headed back out towards the door, grabbing my bag from the hook on the wall. I followed Ryan outside, the sun barely setting, casting beautiful oranges and pinks across the sky.

I hopped onto the back of his bike, my normal spot, and waited for him to get on. I was getting better at getting on the bike now and no longer needed his help since I had done it so many times. I grabbed for my helmet but he took it away quickly and I gave him a dirty look.

"Hey, what's with that?" I said as he held the helmet and pulled something out of his back pocket.

"You need to wear this first," he said holding out a black bandana.

"What? No!" I protested, folding my arms in front of my chest.

"It's a surprise! Pleeaaasseee?" he said pushing out his bottom lip into a pout. I rolled my eyes in defeat as he tied it around my eyes, placing the helmet down over it. I felt him get onto the bike and I wrapped my arms around him, locking my fingers together.

The bike started and we pulled away from the curb, the wind wiping around me. We drove for a while, we must be all the way across town at this point, before the bike started to slow and then finally stopped. I felt him get off the bike and for a second I thought he had left me until I felt his hands at my waist.

"Let me help you get off the bike," he said and I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me off the bike. He pulled the helmet off my head, grabbed my hand gently and began to pull me but I stopped.

"Can we take off the blindfold?" I said reaching for the bandana.

"No! Not yet, I promise, we can take it off in a few minutes," he said pulling my hands down from my face. He grabbed my hand again and I followed cautiously behind him. I followed behind him for a moment before the ground started to slope up.

"Ok we are going to be climbing some stairs so be careful," he said as he grabbed my arm and we slowly made our way up the stairs. The cool breeze rustled my hair, the smell of salt water wafted up into my nostrils and I could tell we were near the bay. I shivered against cool October breeze.

"We are almost there, hold on," he said squeezing my hand.

We took one more set of steps before he stopped. He turned me around and untied the bandana but before he pulled it away he told me to shut my eyes. He covered my eyes with his hands and we turned around, him standing behind me.

"Ok, open them," he said pulling his hands away from my eyes.

My eyes fluttered open and I looked around. I gasped as I took in site that sat before me. A small bistro table covered with a white tablecloth sat underneath a pergola that was covered in roses and small white lights draped all around it, illuminating the table below. Two chairs sat around the table, a small silver candle holder sat in the middle of the small table, and two covered plates sat in front of the chairs.

I turned around to look at Ryan who was wearing a smile on his face. I couldn't even believe he had done this. No one had every done this for me before. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, and I felt my throat tighten. _No, don't start crying now!_

"Ryan, this is so beautiful. Where are we?" I said pulling away.

"We are at the Berkeley Rose Gardens. It was built in the 30's to help make jobs for the unemployed. There are around 2,500 rose bushes planted here," he said turning around.

I looked behind him as the dim light from the slowly fading sun disappeared and saw that we were standing at the top of an amphitheater of sorts with rows and rows of rose bushes below. There were thousands and thousand of roses bushes and a couple of stairways leading down into the center of the garden. The pergola stretched around the top of the half-circle amphitheater and was covered in roses.

He turned back around to look at me and I couldn't help but smile. He grabbed my hand, led me to the table and I sat down in the chair. He pushed me in and took the seat across from me.

"How did you manage to do this?" I said laying my napkin in my lap.

"My friend, Rich works here and he put up the lights and stuff. He is doing it as a bit of a favor he owes me," he said grinning. He pulled off the covers on our plates to reveal Chicken Parmesan. I was absolutely shocked.

"Did you make this yourself," I said picking up for my fork.

"Yeah, my mom taught me how to cook. Once my dad died, my mom had to work a lot more at night so, she taught me how to cook for myself."

"I didn't know your dad died," I said looking down at my plate.

"Yeah, he died when I was two. It was really rough on my mom but she remarried a couple years ago. Ted is a really nice guy and he treats her well. My sister and I get a long with him pretty well."

"Well, at least you like him," I said rolling my eyes. I didn't like Megan. I guess, I didn't really know Megan either. I didn't want to think about this right now.

I took a bite of the food and it was delicious. I hated to admit it but I think he was a better cook than I was but I would never tell him that. We talked over dinner, getting to know each other better and telling each other about our lives growing up.

We took a walk around the garden, looking at all the pretty roses and he picked one and put it handed it to me. I couldn't help but blush. We continued to talk as we walked around the garden until I realized it was getting late.

"It's getting late," I said looking down at my cell phone. "I better help you clean up," I said starting to head back up the steps to the table. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back down in front of him.

"It's ok, I will clean it up later. Rich will help me, he only lives a block from here. I just want you to enjoy your time with me," he said slipping his arms around my waist. My heart started to pound, my breathing began to speed up.

"I am definitely enjoying my time with you. I always do," I said resting my arms on his biceps and remembering Bradley's comment about him having the body of Adonis. He was actually right about that. I giggled to myself and looked up into his bright blue eyes.

"You are such an awesome girl, Bella," he said reaching up and pushing my hair behind my ear, then slowly dragging his fingers down my cheek and I shivered.

He leaned down and I knew what was coming next. I started to panic, my heart raced and the butterflies in my stomach were going full force. I pulled back slightly but he tightened his grasp on me.

I stopped, scared stiff as he leaned down, his lips hovering above mine. I felt his warm breath wash over my face and I held my breath in anticipation as he barely grazed my lips with his then pulled back. I dug my fingers into his biceps in frustration and he pressed his lips firmly to mine as I moaned softly.

My heart pounded erratically in my chest, my fingers digging harder into his arms and he pulled me closer into his chest. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, or maybe it was mine, but I didn't care. I was far too overwhelmed with his kiss to even pay anything else attention. He ran his fingers down my back slowly, sending chills down my spine, and rested his hands on my waist.

He finally pulled back and looked down into my eyes, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light from the pergola. He smiled his perfect smile and I couldn't help myself. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips once again, and he brought his hands up and cupped my face.

I wasn't sure how long we were standing there kissing but I felt my pocket vibrate. I jumped quickly, pulling away from our kiss and groaned. I reached into my pocket and saw a missed call from Rebecca. I cleared the screen to look at the time and noticed I still had twenty minutes to go.

"Ryan, I've got to be home by midnight," I said releasing myself from his grasp. We hurriedly descended the stairs and made our way to the bike in the parking lot. He got on first, and I grabbed his shoulders for stability, yanked on my helmet and we sped off towards my house.

We pulled up at the house with two minutes to spare. I hopped off the bike, pulled my helmet off and handed it to him. He hooked it onto the seat and looked back at me, grinning as usual and I couldn't help but grin back at him. He sort of had that effect on me.

"I had a great time, Bella. I'll call you later?"

"Um, you better," I said leaning down and kissing his warm lips. That certainly won't get old. I pulled away and he groaned quietly. "I know, but if I don't get in there I will never be able to come out again!" I waved goodbye to him as I hurried up the front door, walking in and closing it behind me. Rachel was sitting on the couch, a scowl on her face. I looked down at my phone, Twelve am.

"What? I am not late," I said trying to protest my innocence.

"Bella! You are cutting it close," she said folding her arms.

"Rachel I am so sorry but…."I sighed heavily, "I had the best night." I said skipping over to the couch and sitting next to her. She giggled and turned to me.

"So, what happened?" She asked excitedly.

"He took me to the rose gardens and had a whole dinner waiting for us. It was so sweet. He even made the dinner and….and he kissed me," I said sighing again, leaning against the couch. She squealed loudly then covered her mouth.

"Aw, Bella! I am so happy for you!" she whispered, smiling.

I was happy for me, too. This wasn't something I had expected to find once I had come here, but now that I had found it, I was so happy I had. I had accomplished exactly what I had hoped; to forget about Edward Cullen.

* * *

**A/N: Argh, Don't kill me! This is good, she's happy right? Right??!?!?! LOL!!! **

**Ok so I have actually had a lot of spare time so I have been writing tons sooo....let's make a trade here...reviews for more chapters? Sound like a good deal? HAHA. BRING IT ON MY LOVES!!! **

**P.S- Yes Gabby btw that is blackmail ;) That's how I roll. HA You know I heart you crazy one! **

**~J**

**FYI guys...I am Team Edward and even wear Team Edward bracelets on a daily basis so come on no freaking out here! I did not betray you! It would ruin the story if I just wrote ....."and Bella and Edward lived happily ever after." I will lose some fans if thats the case but I refuse to write it that way....for now. :)**


	19. He who suffers much, will know much

**Blah blah, I don't owe the characters. That is ****ok, someday I will own my own:D **

**A/N:So, You are all so lucky I love you so much. I got into a car accident over the weekend and my truck was completely smashed to bits and have been dealing with that and yet.....yet I still managed to pull through for you! Anyways, this is the chapter most of you have been waiting for!! DUN DUN DUN! I get the feeling I am going to recieve tons of hate mail in regards to this. None the less, I love you all! Stay with me guys. These chapters are really hard. It's a rough time for us all.**

Edward

I sat down on the couch in between Alice and Emmett and looked over at Esme who was sitting in the chair with Emmilie. Emmett was slouching back into the couch, his elbow resting on the armrest and Alice was sitting with her knees into her chest, her arms hugging her knees. Carlisle lingered at the fireplace for a couple minutes longer but the anticipation was killing me.

"What the hell is going on here?" I said raising my voice louder than normal.

"Calm down, Edward. Please," Carlisle said rubbing his forehead nervously.

"Well I come home, you all look like someone has died and then you tell me you have bad news. What do you expect me to think is happening? Just tell me," I said sitting back against the couch hard. Alice turned to look at me, only her eyes peering out over her knees.

"Ok Edward ok," he said turning towards me. Esme got to her feet while rocking Emmilie back and forth, as she crossed the living room and rested next to Carlisle.

"We waited to tell everyone until you got here," Esme said quietly.

"As you know we have been taking Emmilie to the hospital to find out what's been making her sick," Carlisle said touching Emmilie's arm gently. "This afternoon we got test results back. Emmilie has Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. It's still in the early stages so we can still try chemotherapy on her or perhaps radiation therapy."

I leaned forward, rested my elbows on my knees, and looked around at the other's reactions. Alice hugged her knees tighter into her chest and Emmett covered his mouth anxiously. I wanted to get up and scream or cry. I wanted to save my daughter.

"What causes this?" I asked nervously. "Can this be cured?"

"Well Edward nothing is 100% sure with this sort of illness. Like I said, there is chemo or radiation therapy or there is always….there is always a bone marrow transplant but that requires…" He stopped suddenly.

"That requires what?" I said standing up.

"That requires a matching donor. They usually come from parents or siblings but since she is….since Emmilie is adopted that might be hard." I sat back down quickly and tried to regain my composure. I turned to look at Alice and she bit her lip.

"So, what do we do? Will we all be tested to see if we match? Is it even possible we might be a match even though we aren't related?" Emmett said hurriedly. Carlisle looked at me then looked back to Emmett. Oh if he only knew how untrue that was.

"Well as of right now we don't know much of anything so we are going to have to discuss this with her doctors. We already have a doctor for her, which we will be meeting with. I know her well, she is a good doctor."

"So what do we do?" Alice said meekly as she set her feet on the ground.

"We wait," Carlisle sighed.

I looked at Emmilie as she sucked her thumb, her blue eyes red from crying. I couldn't help but feel some how responsible for this. I turned to Carlisle helplessly, looking for some answers but he shook his head.

I got up from the couch slowly, walked over to Emmilie and touched her warm pink cheek gently. She was leaning her head against Esme's shoulder still sucking her thumb, little tears falling down her cheeks. She pulled her thumb out of her mouth and grabbed for my hand but I pulled it away, walking out of the room. I couldn't look at her without crying. I headed out the front door and down the front steps for the garage.

I started for my car, popped the hood and looked around trying to find something to fix. I was fidgeting for a couple minutes when Alice appeared in the garage. She walked over towards the car and rested her hands on the fender. I looked up at her and then back down to the engine, staring aimlessly.

"Edward, I am so sorry," she said softly. "She is my niece after all. I will do whatever I can to…"

"Alice I really don't want to talk about this right now," I said reaching for the sparkplugs.

"I know you don't want to talk about this but we really should. She is your daughter."

"Look Alice," I said as I leaned my hands on the grill and looking up at her, "if my life couldn't get any worse, this has to happen and I really don't even know how to handle this. What happened if we do not match? What happens if the therapy doesn't work? Then what? What in the hell do we do?" I said nearly yelling.

She didn't say anything, just stared at me as I stared back at her. I swallowed the lump in my throat as tears started to pool in my eyes. Alice frowned and slowly walked towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"It's ok Edward, it will be ok," she whispered into my ear. I put my arm around her waist and I felt the tears fall.

"How do you know that Alice?" I sobbed.

"We will stick together and figure this all out. Dad is a great doctor and he knows many good people. You know he won't let anything happen to Emmilie."

She pulled back from me, grabbed my hand and we walked back to the house slowly as I dried my tears. I headed up towards my room and locked myself in there for the rest of the night. I didn't want them to see me crying, especially Emmett. He would get suspicious of my overly emotional reaction to the news and question it. I had to control myself around him, I didn't want to hurt him or ruin his upcoming departure to Texas in the next month.

I let Carlisle tell Rosalie the news. I wasn't sure I could have even told her if I wanted to. I didn't want to see her but if it helped Emmilie get better, I would do whatever needed to be done.

Over the next couple of days, Carlisle and Esme met with Emmilie's doctor, Jillian Pendergrass, who was a pediatric oncologist at Seattle Children's Hospital. Carlisle had met her at a conference a couple years ago and said she was one of the best in her field.

Alice, Emmett and I stayed behind in Forks awaiting news while we helped Emmett get ready for his trip. He was taking Emmilie's illness harder than I had expected and he no longer talked about how excited he was to leave.

"What is today?" Emmett said throwing clothes into a hamper one day while we were packing up his room.

"It's July 22nd," Alice, said looking at her watch.

"Today is Emmilie's first birthday," I said looking at them.

"I hope little Em will be ok," Emmett said sadly.

"She will be ok, Emmett," Alice said resting her hand on his large shoulder.

"I will give whatever I need to. She so little, she doesn't deserve this," he said sighing as he put some books in a box sitting on his bed.

"Of course you will, Em," I said to him, a small smile on my face. He smiled back at me and we continued packing in silence.

By August, Carlisle and Esme had decided to stay in Seattle with Emmilie while they had her in the hospital doing testing. With Emmett's departure creeping up closer, we all became more and more anxious when no news came about her condition.

The week before Emmet was supposed to leave, Carlisle called us to tell us we had to come up to Seattle. We drove the couple of hours to Seattle, all of us unaware of what to expect once we arrived. Carlisle greeted us in the lobby and we all followed him up to the oncology ward where we walked into a bright yellow room with big windows overlooking the city. A crib sat near the wall, Emmilie inside, and Esme was sitting in a chair near the crib.

Esme stood when she saw us come into the room and Alice ran to hug her. Esme pulled Emmett and me into a hug and she smiled sweetly at us. Alice walked over to Emmilie who was hooked to an I.V. that was hanging from poles that stood beside the crib. She leaned into the crib and kissed her forehead gently.

"Ware hoping for Emmilie to start chemo soon," Carlisle said softly. "It's the first step in treating AML. She will be given two powerful drugs in a period of a week here in the hospital. By the end of treatment, we are hopeful that most of the leukemia cells will be destroyed but during the next couple of weeks after chemo, her blood counts will be very low and she will be very prone to infections. She will be given additional drugs to raise her white blood cell count, medication to try to prevent infection and even perhaps blood transfusions"

"Is she going to lose her hair?" Emmett said sadly, looking at Emmilie.

"She might." Carlisle said frowning. "She will be here in the hospital the entire time for this process and if this step is successful, no leukemia will be found in her blood within a week or two. If the first round of chemo doesn't work, we will go at it again."

"What are the chances it may not cure her?" Alice said taking a spot near the window, leaning up against the sill.

"It depends really. She is young so her body may be able to tolerate the therapy better so she may respond with the first treatment. We may never have to do a second round. It ranges really for different people. About 40-80% of AML patients go into remission. After remission she will still need more treatments otherwise the leukemia will be likely to return within months."

"So then what is the point of even doing this if they will return?" I said through gritted teeth. Was this a waste of time to put her through all of this and it not even work?

"Well, once she goes into remission successfully, she may require further treatment to try to destroy all the remaining leukemia cells. There are several options to prevent a relapse of the leukemia."

I leaned up against the crib and looked inside as Emmilie sat up playing with a doll. She was so innocent and it wasn't her fault. Was this genetic? Did I give this to her? Or maybe Rosalie? I reached down and touched her curly dark hair and she looked up at me and smiled. She had no idea what was about to happen to her. I thought about her and her losing her hair and I felt the tears flooding to my eyes.

"One option is to give her high-dose chemo. This is different from the chemo used in the beginning. It is usually given in higher doses than the first and is given over a period of five days. It is to be repeated once or twice." He stopped for a moment and looked up at me.

"The other options are stem cell transplant. She will receive a high-dose of chemo to destroy all her bone marrow and then is followed up with the transplant from a donor or her own stem cells to restore the blood cell production. We are unsure as to which option works for the best and they all have different pros and cons. Dr. Pendergrass will be looking at different factors for Emmilie before she recommends what type of therapy she should receive." Carlisle sat down on a bed that was placed on the opposite wall.

"So what can we do?" I said my voice shaky.

"Well, we are going to need to get everyone tested to see if they might be a match. We need to see if that is even an option. That option carries serious complication risks which…." He stopped suddenly.

"Which what? How can we be a match if we aren't related to her?" Emmett said confused. Carlisle looked at us and frowned as Emmett shifted nervously.

"Which could be death," he said looking down into his lap. "However, if she is healthy enough after chemo it could be the best chance she has at survival. And Emmett, there is always a chance that even if you aren't related, you might have matching tissue." Emmett nodded his head in understanding and turned towards Emmilie.

"We wanted to fill you in on what is going on with her and if you are all willing, we would like you to be tested to see if you are a match for her when the time comes." Everyone nodded.

We headed back to Forks after we had finished talking for a couple hours and having dinner in the cafeteria. No one spoke at dinner; we all sat around the table, a somber look on all of our faces. I was unsure of how this was going to turn out for us but I was prepared to do whatever I had to do.

Everyone was quiet once we came back to Forks. Carlisle had Rosalie come up to Seattle to see Emmilie before she left for Texas with Emmett. She wanted to stay in Washington but Carlisle had convinced her to go to Texas. Before she left, they took a tissue sample for testing later in case they needed it.

Emmett and Rosalie ended up leaving without me ever having to see her. Jasper and Rosalie came to the house and packed all of her stuff into the back of the jeep without coming inside. I had already helped Emmett pack his luggage and boxes into the jeep earlier so I would be sure not to see her. I watched from the balcony as they all laughed and hugged each other goodbye. She looked up at me, a miserable look on her face. I scoffed, turned and walked back into the house, sitting on the couch. I would give her no sympathy.

I listened carefully as I heard Emmett's jeep drive off down the driveway and I couldn't help but feel sorrowful. My only brother was leaving and I would be left alone once again. Of course, I had Alice but I couldn't help but feel alone. My daughter was sick and could possibly die, my girlfriend had left me, and now my brother was gone. All seemed lost.

By the time the first day of school rolled around, Emmilie had been in the hospital for nearly two months. The house was exceptionally quiet except for Carlisle who came home to sleep when he wasn't at the hospital working or in Seattle. Esme stayed in Seattle with Emmilie and hardly came home.

I thought about just not going to school but I knew that I needed something to distract me. I pulled into the parking lot, the sky covered in clouds, rain pouring down my windshield. I pushed open my door and saw Alice under an umbrella standing near her car. She waved at me, a small smile on her face. I smiled back, reached over onto the passenger seat and grabbed my bag. The rain pelted down onto my face and I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head.

"Hi Edward," I heard a squealing voice behind me. I sighed in irritation and turned around to see Jessica standing under an umbrella, some girl standing next to her.

"Hi Jessica," I said closing the door and walking away. I hadn't seen her since the movie.

"Um, Edward who do you have for English?" She said running up beside me. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with her.

"Mr. Delgado," I said continuing to walk towards the school.

"Oh, Darn. I have Ms. Ritter. Have you met Tanya? She is new here," she said trying to keep up with me.

"Hi Tanya," I said still walking.

"Hi," she said nicely.

"She moved here from Alaska and she…" Jessica started to ramble on.

"Look Jessica," I said stopping abruptly and turning towards her, "it's really nice to meet you Tanya, a real pleasure," I said never looking at Tanya, "but I am really busy right now so maybe later." I said turning on my heel and walking away, leaving the two girls standing in the rain.

I opened the heavy doors of the Social Science building, my sneakers squeaking against the linoleum as I headed towards my government class. I stopped in front of the door and slid down the wall beside it, pulling out a book and waiting for the bell to ring.

The bell rang a couple minutes later and students began to pile into the hallways. I slipped the book back into my back, stood up and headed into the class, taking a seat in the very back. My cell vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to see it was Jasper.

"Hey Edward," he said cheerfully.

"Hey Jazz." I used to call him that when we were younger but hadn't in years.

"How is Emmilie? I haven't talked to Rosalie since she left a couple weeks ago."

"Well, they plan to give her chemo soon. Dr. Pendergrass thinks it's the best option as of right now. It's the waiting game for now." I said sighing.

"Rose is so upset about this. I know you hate her Edward and what she did to you wasn't right but she is the…" He lowered his voice, "she is the mother of your child. You should talk to her." I turned to look out the window, a scowl on my face.

"Jasper, no offense here, but your sister is a major bitch," I said quietly looking around the room. "She doesn't deserve any leniency in my book. She ruined my life." He said nothing but sighed.

I wished I could feel some sort of sympathy for her, but I couldn't find it in myself. She had done everything she could to try to ruin anything good in my life and I didn't feel a damn bit guilty. The teacher started to talk so I said my goodbye and slipped the phone back into my pocket.

The class went by quickly without any other mention of Rosalie or Emmilie and I headed towards my English class with Mr. Delgado. I took a seat near the back of the class once again, slipping into the cold metal chair. I set my bag down on the floor and stared out the window, watching the rain run down the panes of glass.

"Hi," a voice said from beside me.

"Hi," I said looking out of the corner of my eye. A girl was sitting next to me.

"I am Tanya, we met this morning." I turned towards her.

I guess I hadn't really paid attention before but she was attractive. She pushed her long strawberry blonde hair that was partially covered under a green scarf behind her shoulders; her light blue eyes sparkled like diamonds. I looked her up and down, admiring her beauty. Her long slender legs, white and smooth like freshly fallen snow, peaked out from behind a deeply cut green halter dress the same shade as her scarf that she covered with a long sleeve white sweater. The gold bracelets around her wrists jangled as she leaned down to grab her bag from the floor. She was more than attractive; she was downright beautiful.

"I am sorry," I said reaching my hand out to her as she sat upright, "Where are my manners? I am Edward Cullen." She put her hand in mine, shook it gently and pulled her hand back, nodding.

"How do you know Jessica?" I asked curiously.

"Jessica is my cousin. Our mothers are cousins." That would explain the lack of resemblance; they weren't closing related.

"Ah, well, what brings you to Forks?" Wow, I was being nosey.

"Well, my parents are in the middle of a divorce. My mom is trying to get back on her feet so my uncle offered to put me up for awhile. I really had no choice," she said sighing. That made two of us.

We talked a little bit during English and I was surprised to find she was nothing like her cousin. She was outgoing yet not annoying, smart and very easy on the eyes. At the end of class, she stood up and I followed behind her out into the hallway when I noticed she was much taller than Jessica was and only a couple inches shorter than I was.

We talked as we walked towards our classes when she suddenly stopped in front of a door and smiled at me. I hadn't realized we had walked all the way across campus to the math department. I smiled back at her as we parted ways and I ran to the science building as quickly as I could, making it into my physics class right as the bell rang and taking the last seat at the front of the class.

I couldn't help but think about Tanya as I sat at my desk. She was unlike anyone I had met and she was extremely beautiful. I smiled at the thought of her as I leaned on my elbow, thinking of when I would see her next.

I wouldn't have to wait very long because when I pushed the doors of the cafeteria open, she was the last one standing in the lunch line. We made eye contact and she waved me over. I couldn't help but smile as I crossed the room and stopped next to her.

"Hey," she said cheerfully. "Fancy seeing you here," she said winking and I chuckled.

"I know, right? Considering this school is so large and what not," I said sarcastically and she laughed.

"You are funny," she said elbowing me lightly in the ribs.

We waited in line and while we did I noticed Alice sitting at our usual table,staring at me. I waved at her and Alice glared at me before turning back to her lunch. What was her problem? We grabbed our lunch and headed towards the table, Alice inspecting Tanya as we approached. I sat down first across from them and Tanya hesitated.

"Tanya, I'd like you to meet my cousin Alice. Tis Tanya. She is new here," I said motioning for Tanya to sit. Alice stared at me in disbelief and I felt a foot kick me from under the table. I flinched and furrowed my brow at her.

"Nice to meet you ," she said picking up her fork and plunging into her salad.

"Where are you from?" Alice interrogated.

"I just moved here from Alaska."

"Alaska? Wow, kind of far from home, don't you think?" She said sarcastically and smiled. I kicked her under the table and she scowled at me.

"Yeah, my parents are going through a really messy divorce so my mom sent me down here to stay with my Uncle and Jessica."

"Jessica? As in Jessica Stanley?" Alice cocked her head.

"Yeah, she is my cousin," she nodded. Alice turned back to look at me, her eyes narrowing in on me.

After lunch, Tanya left the table for her class and I waited for my speech from Alice. She said nothing at first, just stared after Tanya.

"You," she said shaking her head, "are disgusting."

"What?" I said confused.

"How dare you Edward Cullen. Jessica's cousin? What about Bella?" she said folding her arms on the table. I swallowed hard as I looked down at the table.

"Alice, Bella left. She is gone. I don't even know where she is, hell, you don't even know where she is." I said looking up and staring at her. She sighed in defeat and shook her head.

"You are right, I don't know where she is and for that…I blame you," she said getting to her feet and stompingf off out of the cafeteria. My mouth gaped open as I watched her leave.

The more I hung around Tanya, the more Alice stayed away from the house and the more time away from the house. She only came home when Carlisle or Esme came home which wasn't often. I knew she was mad at me but I couldn't do anything if I couldn't find Bella to tell her what happened.

School was getting off to a good start, the teachers were being relatively easy and I was actually enjoying going to class. I only had one class with Tanya but I ate lunch with her everyday, and sometimes Jessica joined us when she wasn't attached to the hip with her new best friend Lauren Mallory.

"So I get the feeling you don't really care too much for my cousin," she said as she watched Jessica prance around the cafeteria with Lauren.

"It's not exactly that I don't like her," I said, a grin tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Oh? Then do explain." I rolled my eyes and she laughed.

"She is nice enough but she just…she talks a lot." She smiled and nodded.

"Is that Bella?" she said as I took a bite of my sandwich, nearly choking.

"What?" I said, startled by the name.

"Isn't that Jessica's best friend? Bella? She used to talk about her all the time," she said with a confused look on her face.

"Oh, no, that's Lauren Mallory. Bella is…well Bella is gone," I said looking down at the table.

"Oh, so you knew Bella?"

"You could say that," I said giving her a smile and trying to change the subject. "Did you finish your homework yet?"

"Yeah but barely, I was at the hospital all night."

"What? Are you sick? Are you ok?"

"Oh no, I just volunteer there in the children's ward after ballet practice." Well she likes kids at least.

"That's really cool. How long have you been doing that?" I asked taking a sip from my water bottle.

"Ballet or volunteering?" she chuckled.

"Volunteering," I said obviously amused by her question.

"My younger sister Irina had cancer when I was younger so I was always in the hospital. Since I was always there, I decided to help out when she was getting therapy or sleeping and I kept doing it even after she died. I started here at the hospital about two weeks ago; it keeps me busy until I can start my ballet lessons again. It keeps my mind off my life," she said pushing around half-eaten salad.

Her words couldn't have been truer. I needed a distraction from my life right now and any sport or activity that could do it would be a godsend. She would understand my need for distractions. I smiled at her and took a drink of my water.

"So, what if I asked you to take me with you when you go to the hospital?"

"You want to volunteer?" She said, a smile creeping across her lips.

"Well, why not? We all have things we would like a distraction from," I said winking at her.

"And what is your's?" she said raising her eyebrow.

"Life," I chuckled. She giggled and nodded her head.

"Fair enough, Edward Cullen. I am going today at four. Meet me there," she said getting to her feet just as the bell rang. She grabbed her trash and disappeared out the cafeteria doors.

After school, I headed towards the hospital where Carlisle had worked for the past ten years and parked my car in the large lot. Carlisle just so happened to have a shift today so I decided to head in early. I headed up to Carlisle's office and knocked on the door to see if he in there. I heard a voice from inside and I opened the door.

"Oh Edward, what are you doing here?" he asked looking up from papers he had on his desk. "Please sit down," he said pointing to the chair in front of his desk. He leaned his hand in his head, scribbled something quickly and then set his pen down.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" he said smiling. He looked tired, his hair unusually messy, and his face looked long over due for a shave.

"How is Emmilie?" I said shifting nervously in my chair.

"Well, we started her first round of chemo yesterday. She seems to be taking it better than we hoped. Esme is with her day and night. We are so tired," he admitted.

"I am sorry Carlisle. Is there anything I can do?" I said feeling guilty.

"No, no, no Edward. This is what parents do for their children. You just need to worry about school. Did you come all this way to ask how she was?" he said curiously.

"Well, no not exactly. I have come to volunteer." He raised his head and stared at me.

"You want to what?"

"Yeah, this girl Tanya at school told me she volunteered here and I figured that it might be good idea to take my mind off certain things." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his hands in his lap, contemplating my motives.

"Edward, are you doing this for a girl or because you really want to?"

"If I can't do anything to help Emmilie, I might as well do something to help someone else Carlisle. I can't help but feel responsible for this."

"Edward, this was not something you did or could prevent. You can't beat yourself up over this. We are doing everything we can and we have the best doctors taking care of her. I don't see anything wrong with you volunteering with Tanya. She is a nice girl."

"You know Tanya?" I said leaning forward in my chair.

"Tanya has been coming in here for a couple weeks. She's a sweet girl, very nice. Anyways, I am heading home. Edward, please be careful." He gave me the look and I knew what he was talking about. I was about to tell him it wasn't like that but, he had already heard that with Bella. I wasn't about to insult his intelligence again. I smiled at him and headed for the door.

"Edward," he said and I turned around. "Maybe telling the truth this time would be best." I nodded and closed the door behind me.

The truth would be better than last time, but I didn't want word to get out about it at school. I didn't know Tanya that well but I was almost sure that I could trust her with my secret seeing as she has gone something similar with her sister.

I headed towards the lobby just as Tanya walked through the glass doors, a smile on her beautiful face. She had changed out of her school clothes into a pair of dark ripped jeans that were rolled up to mid-shin, an off the shoulder peach floral shirt and peach ballet slippers. She had her beautiful hair pulled back into a ponytail and when she saw me, she immediately headed for me.

"Hey, you are early," she said putting her keys into her large purse that hung off her shoulder.

"Yeah, well my uncle works here so I came to talk to him."

"Your uncle is a doctor here?"

"Yeah, Carlisle Cullen," I said as if it was obvious.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't put the last name together," she said touching her forehead lightly.

"Don't worry about it," I said chuckling as I followed her down the hall to the children's ward.

We stayed in the children's ward and I met a couple of kids with the same cancer as Emmilie. The children wore scarves on their baldheads and were completely happy and healthy kids. One boy stood out the most to me.

His name was Tyler and he was around five. He had been in this hospital since he was three having treatment after treatment. He was a small and hyper boy with dark brown eyes that drew you in. He was always smiling which made me realize what a moron I was for moping about how horrible my life was, yet I was healthy and here was this five-year-old boy with cancer, who couldn't be happier. By the time visiting hours were over, I could plainly see why Tanya enjoyed doing this.

"I hope you had a good time," she said as we walked out into the cool night air.

"I did," I said smiling at her. I walked her to her car and she pulled her keys out, unlocking the door.

"I hope it might be something you would consider doing more often."

"Oh, I definitely will. Thanks for showing me," I said leaning against her car. She pulled open the door of her small pick up. She got into the truck and popped her head out.

"See you at school tomorrow." I pushed the door closed for her and waved as she drove out of the parking lot.

I headed home again and when I pulled up to the house, I was surprised to see that all the lights were on in the house. I pulled the car into the garage and noticed Carlisle's car was here. I headed up to the house and into the living room where I heard the TV on. I entered the room and saw Carlisle sitting on the couch, Alice's head buried into his shoulder. Carlisle looked up at me as I entered the room and he shook his head.

Alice looked up and saw me, a scowl on her face. What had I done now? Had he told her about my volunteering at the hospital with Tanya? I stepped back to leave the room but she pushed back from Carlisle and she sat back against the couch, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"What's wrong Alice?" I said stepping back into the room. She scowled at me and then scrunched up her nose.

"Bella called," she said softly as she sniffled. I stopped in my tracks and my heart stopped. I swallowed hard as I walked over to the couch and plopped myself down next to her.

"What did she want?" I said trying to sound casual. Alice turned to look at me.

"She wanted to let me know she was ok."

"Well that was nice of her. Is she ok?" My voice lacked interest as I stared up at the TV, never looking at her. She leaned forward to look at me better.

"She is in California," she restied her hands in her lap as she continued to stare at me.

"Oh, California is nice, or so I have heard. She must be having fun," I said turning to her and smiling. I was being a complete asshole and I knew it. Her eyes grew wide and she gritted her teeth.

"Anyways, I've got to get to bed, I've got to go help at the hospital again tomorrow with Tanya," I said getting up from the couch. "Goodnight," I said waving to them as I hurried up the stairs.

I realized what I was doing but I didn't care anymore, Bella was the one that left me here before letting me explain. She couldn't expect me to sit here and wait for her when she was off doing God knows what in God knows where.

I spent my afternoons after school with Tanya at the hospital. I wanted so badly to tell her about Emmilie and her condition and I hoped she wouldn't judge me for it. I decided one Friday afternoon I would tell her about Emmilie.

We had just walked out of the lobby and into the night, the rain plummeting down hard on the roof above us. Cars drove past us, throwing water a couple of feet into the air, as they hurried on to their destinations. Tanya stepped down off the curb into the street, her black flats getting soaked. She laughed as she pulled her black raincoat on over her head and ran across the parking lot to her pickup.

I followed behind her as she pulled open the door of her truck and scooted in. I stood outside for a moment, unsure of what she was doing, but she reached up and pulled me into the truck beside her. I closed the door as we both laughed hysterically.

"I had fun tonight," she said wiping the rain from her face. Little droplets of rain trickled off her nose.

"Me too," I said looking out the driver window. "Hey Tanya?" I said touching the window.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something and you promise not to judge me?" I said turning to her. She looked into my eyes, her blue eyes darkening.

"Why would I judge you?" She said pushing back her wet hair.

"Well, it's a big deal and most people definitely will judge a person for it."

"Spill it," she said poking my arm and laughing.

"I have a old year old daughter, Tanya." I stopped and waited for her to yell, scream or run but none of that came.

"And?" she said cocking her head. "Where is she?"

"She is in Seattle at the Children's Hospital. She has Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. She started chemo last week and we are waiting for the results," I said looking at her shamefully.

"I am sorry to hear that Edward," she said hanging her head. "I do know what you are going through. When we found out Irina was sick, it was so devastating to us. She was so little at the time, only five years old and I was twelve. I lost my best friend when she died. I could only imagine what you are going through with it being your daughter."

"You aren't mad or anything?" I said nervously.

"Why would I be mad, Edward? We all go through rough times in our lives. No need to explain yourself to me." She placed her hand on my shoulder. I turned to her, a smile on her face. She placed her warm hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes, resting my hand on top of hers. I grabbed her hand and pulled it down into my lap, holding it tightly but she never pulled away.

I listened to the rain beat down onto the truck's roof as I opened my eyes and stared into her's. I leaned closer and pushed the wet matted hair that clung to her forehead away and ran my fingers down her smooth pink cheek. She leaned forward and my heart beat wildly in my chest. She closed her eyes, her full pink lips spread apart slightly as she approached me. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips into hers a soft moan coming from her mouth. She lifted her hand to my neck, holding me in place.

I let go of her hand in my lap, wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me as I kissed her soft lips repeatedly. She bit down on my lip, harder than I was ready for and I pulled back.

"Sorry, sometimes I get carried away," she said turning her head away nervously.

"I better get going," I said pulling the door open. She slid over towards the driver's side as I stepped out and I turned back towards her to close her door but she pulled me down by my jacket, kissing me again. She let her lips linger on mine for a couple seconds then pulled away. I smiled at her as I closed the door and took off running towards my car.

I opened the door of my car quickly and slid into the seat, thinking about the kiss. I grabbed the steering wheel and stared out the windshield, as I was completely baffled at how well she had taken the news. I sat in the parking lot in front of the hospital and reflected back on the last six months. I knew no matter what had happened to me I had to be strong for Emmilie and for the rest of the family. I had to let go of all the hurt and the pain and move on, starting with Bella.

I put the car in reverse and headed home, a smile on my face. This was a chance for a new beginning for me and for Emmilie. She would be ok and she would pull through it. Both of us would.

* * *

**A/N: So far we have had Bella moving on and now looks like Edward seems to be getting over it as well. Oh who am I kidding, those two kids aren't over anything. Now if this isn't dedication, I am not sure what is. I have another chapter ready for your viewing pleasure but only when you give me what I want. *evil laugh* Yes black mail my lovies blackmail. Even when you all hate me, I still love you. I am sorry if I am messing with your emotions, it messes with mine too. More and more is coming.**

**~J**


	20. Homeward Bound

**I don't own em, you know the drill.**

**A/N: See how much I love you? Here already. Enjoy! You guys get so bent. Sheesh. If I recall, a whole freaking book was made to the fact that Bella and Edward were not together and Bella was with Jacob and y'all still read that. I seperate em for like 5 chapters and some of you get so mad at me! LOL. Maaaan. I tell you. The lack of trust hurts, it does. I should put a warning on this story, NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!**

**Bella**

"So, what do you think about that Halloween party I was talking to you about last week?" Ryan said laying his head in my lap.

"Ryan, you know I hate parties and besides it's going to be a bunch of college kids. I wouldn't fit in," I said running my fingers through his hair as I sat on the couch.

"It will be fun. We can dress up, I can introduce you to my friends. If you don't like it, I promise we can leave." He turned to look up into my eyes and pouted. He was persistent, I'll give him that.

"Ugh, I don't have a costume and the party is in two days, what am I going to wear? Everyone will have already taken all the good costumes."

"Oh Bella, how you doubt me," he chuckled as he cuddled against my lap. "I have the perfect costumes for us."

"How? Where did you get them?"

"I picked them out last week."

"You got me a costume before I even agreed to go?" He laughed.

"I knew you would," he said sitting up, kissing me playfully and lying his head back in my lap.

"What are the costumes?" I said as I rested my hand on his head.

"That is a surprise." He was always so sneaky but I had to give it to him, he was good with surprises.

Halloween fell on a Saturday this year which meant I could stay out until 1 am. Great, even less of an excuse to leave early. I wasn't too keen on the idea of being around a bunch of drunken college students. I would rather stay at home and hang out but I guess I had to compromise.

We drove over to his house which was a small white house on the other side of town. It was much smaller than the one we lived in but it was cute and quaint. He pulled into the driveway, parking the bike behind a big red truck. I stared at it longingly and for some reason I missed my old truck back in Forks.

"Hey! You coming?" he said waving to me from the porch. I shook my head, latched the helmet onto the seat and ran off up the stairs.

I was a bit a nervous considering we had only been dating exclusively for a couple weeks and I was already going to meet his family. Only possibly would I meet them, he reminded me earlier when I protested his idea of coming over here to pick up the costumes.

"Bella, it's not a big deal. They may not even be there when we show up," he said as he ran circles on my palm. His attempt to sooth me was failing miserably.

"Ryan, I just….want them to like me." I said shyly.

"Why wouldn't they? I like you and that's all that matters." He kissed my forehead and cupped my face in his hands. "You worry to much. You're going to give yourself premature gray hair if you keep it up." I rolled my eyes at him.

He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my memory and I followed him up the steps to the bright white front door. He opened the door and the smell of apple pie wafted from the house. I closed my eyes and inhaled the delicious scent. I hadn't had apple pie in years.

He pushed open the door and I looked around the small living room. It was neat and tidy, something you would expect to see in an older home like this. Trinkets scattered were along the mantel piece and book shelves stood on either side of the fireplace filled with hundreds of books. A small beige couch sat in front of the large window near the door and a small tv sat opposite the couch. The floor was an old distressed wooden floor covered with various rugs scattered about in strategic places. _So this is where he grew up_? _Cute_.

"Mom? Lauren? Ted? Anybody home?" he shouted as he pulled me further into the living room. I looked up over the mantel and saw a family portrait.

"In here," a voice came from the kitchen.

He pulled me into the kitchen and I dragged my feet. He turned around and glared at me but I dug my heels into the wooden floors. I shook my head and protested silently, waving my hands back and forth. A woman appeared in the doorway smiling.

She was a short older woman, with short graying hair and glasses. She had an apron around her waist, flour dusted her pale yellow t-shirt she was wearing and she was holding a rolling pin in her hand.

"Oh, hi sweetheart," she said reaching up with her free hand and pinched his cheek.

"Mom," he said swatting her hand away, "I want you to meet someone." He stepped aside so his mother could see me.

"So you must be the reason I hardly see my son anymore," she said holding out her hand to me. "I have heard so much about you, Bella. My name is Grace " she said as I placed my hand in hers. She had unusually soft hands. I couldn't help but blush, he had talked about me.

"Nice to meet you," I said shyly.

"Ryan," she said turning to him, "you didn't tell me she was beautiful," she said winking at me. He turned to look at me and smiled.

"How could I have forgotten?" I think I blushed again. _Wow, he always knew what to say_.

"Well, are you two hungry? I have dinner made and apple pie in the oven."

"No thanks Mom, we just came to get our costumes for tonight," he said grabbing my hand again and leading me to the stairs.

"Alright, if you change your mind, it is in here," she said disappearing back into the kitchen.

I followed him up the stairs into a small hallway. He pulled me towards the very end of the hallway, last door on the right, and opened it slowly. He let my hand go and entered the room before me. I was afraid to go into his room with his mother right down stairs. Ironic considering I had snuck into….his room every night so many months ago.

I looked around the small room with bright blue walls. A small twin bed sat underneath a window, the sheets and comforter spread out over the bed messily. Clothes littered the floor and in the corner near a desk stood an easel with a blank canvas.

He headed to his closet and rummaged through it for minute or two before he pulled out two black bags hanging on wire hangers. I looked at the bags nervously. I was afraid what he had picked out for us.

"You will love them," he said laying the bags down on the bed.

"Well, open them so I can see them for myself." I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

He handed me the top bag and I held it up for a second before unzipping it. A blonde wig toppled out onto the floor and I looked up at him. He laughed, leaned over and picked up the wig, placing it onto my head. I looked up and then back and him.

"Come on, open it then," he said grabbing the bag from me and pulling out black clothing. He held up a shiny black shirt that hung off the shoulders and a pair of shiny black pants. _This was a costume_? It seemed rather plain to me.

"What…what is it supposed to be?" I said pulling the wig off my head. He threw the clothes back on to the bed and picked up his bag, pulling a similar outfit out, only his was a black t-shirt and black pants. He turned around towards his desk and pulled a black leather jacket off the back of his chair.

"Danny and Sandy. You know, from Grease?" He said pulling the jacket on. I burst into laughter as I dropped to my knees.

"You are serious?" I said trying to catch my breath.

"What? You don't like it?" he said sadly.

"No, no, that's not it. It's cute." I said trying to control myself. I didn't want him to feel badly about this.

I got to my feet, grabbed the bag from the bed and tossing the wig into the bag. He arranged his clothes back into the bag, grabbed his jacket and headed out of the room. I trailed behind him as he descended the stairs and headed into the kitchen.

"Alright Mom, we are going to go get ready at her house." His mother was standing at the stove and turned to look at us.

"Are you sure you aren't hungry?" she said. I saw the same sad face I had just seen on Ryan's face two minutes ago. I sighed and tugged on his shoulder, nodding.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly. I nodded again. "Alright, yeah we will stay." He said placing the bags in an empty chair at the table. She smiled and turned back to the stove.

"Oh, good! Don't worry I will make your plates," she said as she stirred something in a pot. It smelled delicious.

He sat down at a large round table, five chairs placed around it. I sat down first and he pushed my chair in, then took the empty seat next to me. I watched his mother as she stood at the counter, preparing our meal. I felt somewhat bad, I wasn't used to people waiting on me. She came to the table with two plates in hand and placed them down in front of us.

"I hope you like stroganoff," she said smiling down at us.

"Oh thank you so much," I said picking up a fork and looking down into the plate. It looked as delicious as it smelled and if his mother had taught Ryan how to cook I could imagine how it tasted. I took a forkful and put it into my mouth, a small moan escaping my sealed mouth.

"You like it?" she said anxiously. I nodded happily. "Good, very good," she said turning back to the stove. I turned to Ryan who was smiling, his perfect white teeth gleaming in the light from the overhead light.

We finished dinner quickly as it was almost time for the party, said goodbye to his mother. I carried the bags on the way back to the house which was pretty hard to do when the wind was blowing full force at you. We pulled into the driveway at nearly six, the sun was on its way down. We hurried into the house, Rachel and Rebecca were standing in the living room in full costume.

"Hey you two," Rebecca said smiling at me. She was dressed in all black leather, a set of cat ears and a small cat tail attached above her butt. On her cheeks she had three stripes that I assumed were supposed to be whiskers.

"Nice costume," I said sarcastically and she hissed at me. "Oh God, that sure does suit you Beck," I said laughing.

"What are you two going as?" Rachel said. Of course Rachel was something conservative, just her nature. She was dressed as an angel, a feathery halo hovering over her head, a pair of feathery wings hung on her back and a white sheer dress that hung to mid-thigh.

"Danny and Sandy from Grease," Ryan piped up shaking the black bags in his hands.

"That is adorable," Rachel said. I rolled my eyes, yes cute is exactly what I wanted to be.

"We are on our way out, be careful you two, and if you need us, you call," Rebecca said glaring at me. I nodded.

I grabbed my bag from Ryan and headed to my room as he headed to change into the bathroom. I pulled on the shirt and pants were extremely tight, tighter than I cared to wear my clothes. I tired my long hair back into a messy bun, smoothing it down as much as possible and slipped the blonde wig onto my head.

I emerged from the room into the living room where Ryan was already sitting on the couch. I twirled around for him to look at me and he stood up. He walked over to me and grabbed my waist and smiled.

"You look good as a blonde," he said tugging at my wig.

"Well, I am almost ready I just need to grab a pair of shoes from Rachel's room. She's got a pair of red heels." I turned to leave but he pulled me back, put his hand under my chin, tilted my head back and kissed me.

It was a sweet kiss, his lips lingered on mine for a second as he pulled back. I kept my eyes closed, trying to savor the kiss. I opened my eyes and he stared down into my eyes, making me blush. Every time he looked at me, it was like he was seeing into my soul, into my secrets. I looked away nervously, afraid he could see my secrets, my past, my…no not mine anymore.

He gently pushed my face back to his and smiled at me again. I sighed deeply as he leaned down for another kiss, this one longer than the last. I gently sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and nibbled on it as I felt his tongue gently graze my lip. It sent chills down my spine and I dug my fingers into his biceps once more. He was an even better kisser than…my eyes shot open and I pulled back quickly.

"I really need to finish getting ready," I said trying to escape his arms. I didn't want him to see the look on my face.

I headed to Rachel's room and searched through her closet for the shoes I wanted. I finally found them, slipped them on and started towards the bathroom, looking through her make up and pulled out the red lipstick, spread it across my lips, smacking them loudly. Perfect. I walked down the stairs as Ryan stood nervously in the living room waiting for me.

It was nearly dark once we got outside and headed to the party. We arrived at the gates of a large mansion, tons of cars parked in the large driveway. People were scattered about the driveway, all dressed in their Halloween costumes. He parked the bike near a group of people and I hesitated as he jumped off the bike quickly.

A guy in a Fred Flintstone costume ran over to Ryan and they shook hands and patted each other on the back quickly. I sat on the bike and watched them talk for a minute before he turned to me. He headed back over to my side and "Fred" followed.

"Hey Jason, this is Bella, Bella this is my good buddy Jason," he introduced us.

"Hey Bella," Jason said holding out his hand. I shook his hand apprehensively and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Jason," I said pulling my helmet off.

"So what are you supposed to be?" he said slapping Ryan on the back again.

"Duh, dude, I am supposed to be Danny Zuko!" he said pulling a comb from his back pocket and smoothing his gelled hair back. Jason erupted in laughter and sipped from a beer can he was holding in his hand.

"Come on, Bella, let's go inside," he said helping me off the bike. I followed the two into the house as they said hi to a couple people.

Suddenly Wilma Flintstone ran up to Jason and draped her arms around him. I couldn't help but laugh at the "cartoon" characters in front of me. "Wilma" giggled hysterically into Jason's neck and she turned to look at me.

"Who is this?" she said snottily to Jason who turned around.

"Courtney this is Bella. She is with Ryan," he said turning to Ryan who has stopped to talk to a couple dressed in medieval attire.

"Oh. Hi then," she said looking me up and down then turning back to Jason giggling. She stumbled back and forth, was mumbling something I couldn't understand then walked away. I stepped towards Ryan, grabbing his arm. He turned around, grinned at me and put his arm around my shoulders.

We stepped into the house and the loud music flowed throughout the rooms, bouncing off the vaulted ceilings. We headed towards the kitchen where people were crowded around grabbing cans and bottles from ice chests and bowls. Ryan grabbed two cans and we headed outside where there were more people dancing around a large pool. He handed me the can, pulled me close into his chest and began moving to the beat of the music. I hated dancing but I tried my best to move my feet.

After a couple minutes, someone had ran into Ryan and stopped us from dancing for which I was grateful. I stared at the can in my hand and speculated on it. I had never drank before and wasn't sure if I even liked it. I popped the top, lifted it to my nose and took a whiff. I shrugged and brought it to my lips, taking a sip. I cringed back at the taste and looked around to see if anyone had noticed but no one had. I sipped it again and again until I got used to the taste.

I sat down in a lounge chair near the pool and sipped the rest of my beer when Ryan plopped himself down near my feet. He chugged his can, finishing it off then placing it on the ground next to me. He grinned at me smugly and crawled forward towards me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he leaned closer and kissed me. He ran back into the house and came back out with two more fresh beers in hand. I chugged the rest of the first beer which at this point wasn't much and placed the empty can down next to me.

I popped the other one and chugged nearly half the can down. Ryan laughed and pushed the can down. I started to feel very light-headed and realized the music seemed to get louder. Ryan pulled me to my feet towards a large crowd of dancers.

He pulled me close to him again, swaying his hips back and forth as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I hung my head back and closed my eyes as I let myself get lost in the music. I don't know how long we had been dancing or how many beers I had consumed but I was soon unable to stand by myself

Ryan stood next to me with his arm wrapped around my waist and I leaned into his chest, taking in a deep breath of his cologne. I closed my eyes and tried not to stumble back and forth as I listened to him talk, his voice booming in his chest. He leaned down close to my face and kissed my cheek.

"Bella, are you ok?" he said laughing. I wasn't sure if I had actually said anything intelligent or I had just mumbled but a worried look crossed his face.

"We need to get you home," he said trying to stand me up straight.

I clung to his shirt tightly and giggled hysterically. Everything seemed funny right now. I suddenly felt nauseous so I bent over and heaved but nothing came out. He picked me up like a child and carried me through the house, the swift motion making my nausea worse. He set me down on cold tile in front of a toilet and I crawled quickly towards it and plunged my head down into the bowl. I heaved a couple more times, nothing coming up but I felt the bile rise into my throat and I knew what was coming. I puked violently into the toilet, as Ryan held my hair and rubbed my back.

"Bella. Oh, Bella," he said as I heaved again. "I am so sorry," he said rubbing my shoulders. I was so tired from puking that I collapsed onto the floor, my cheek pressed against the cold tile. I closed my eyes as the exhaustion took over. I wanted to just sleep right here on the floor. I opened my eyes again, trying to fight the urge to sleep and I saw Ryan standing above me frowning. I reached up to touch his face, but I was too weak and my arm fell to the floor.

"Ryan…Ryan, I am so sleepy," I mumbled.

"I know, baby, I will take you home," he said and I felt his arms lift me. I cuddled into his chest, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

When I broke consciousness all I could feel was pain. My head was pounding like a drum during a halftime show and my ears were ringing loudly. I didn't want to open my eyes for fear of where I might be. I shifted slightly and realized I wasn't alone, someone was next to me. I grabbed my head and groaned loudly.

"Hey, don't move," I heard someone say.

"Believe me, I don't want to," I said moaning. I felt something slip out from under me and I opened my eyes slowly, bright light nearly blinding me. I covered my eyes from the light that was shining in from a nearby window.

"Are you ok, Bella?" It was Ryan.

"Yes, I just have a horrible headache and…" I said opening my eyes once again and trying to sit up but my body had something else in mind. The room swayed in front of me and I laid back down quickly. Ryan's face appeared in front of me, a frown on his face.

"Bella, I am so sorry. I didn't realize how much you had to drink." I shook my head then stopped immediately. The sudden movement hurt my whole body, even the hair on my head was hurting.

I looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. No matter how much I hurt, those eyes made it all better. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I lifted my head and looked around and noticed I was back at home on the couch.

"Where are Rachel and Rebecca?" I said nervously. _Did they know I had gotten drunk? Did they know that Ryan had stayed over_?

"They are in the kitchen making breakfast and coffee."

"Oh God, coffee sounds divine right now," I said pressing my fingers to my temple.

"I'll get you some," he said disappearing from my sight. He appeared moments later with a cup in his hand. He set it on the coffee table and knelt next to me to help me sit up. I rose to a sitting position and groaned again as he handed me the cup. The hot coffee nearly burnt my mouth but it woke me up which is exactly what I needed.

Luckily, Ryan had told them I had gotten sick during the party and he brought me home so they had no idea I had actually been drunk. He ended up sleeping in the chair all night while I slept on the couch just to make sure I was ok. I spent the rest of the day on the couch curled up under a blanket with Ryan watching tv and trying to nurse my very first hangover. Adolescence at its finest.

------

November passed quickly and by December I was spending most of my free time with Ryan. The whole table at school was talking about Ryan and I dating and I had to tell them every detail of our time together until they finally had moved on to Bradley and Mark's rocky relationship which was fine since I didn't want everyone knowing everything Ryan and I did together.

Finals were over for the both of us and a couple of his friends were having a party at one of their houses in celebration. After the Halloween incident I decided that staying far away from alcohol for awhile was the best idea. Just thinking about drinking again made me nauseous.

"I am never going to drink again," I said as I laid on the couch next to Ryan. He draped his arm across my waist and leaned up on his elbow.

"I don't think I disagree with you there Bella Swan," he said kissing my neck, sending chills down my spine. "So what do you have planned for Christmas? You know it's only a month away," he said tickling my side. I laughed hysterically, pushing at his hands and begged mercifully for him to stop.

"I know, I know. I think the girls are planning on going back to Forks for Christmas break." I said straightening out my shirt.

"Are you going to go with them?" he said rolling me onto my back.

"I hadn't thought about it really. I might have to if they do go, my Dad will never let me stay here unsupervised all Christmas break."

"Well, then go and see your Dad. I am sure he misses you, Bella. I know I would if you left me for two weeks." He pushed my hair behind my ear.

"Then maybe….maybe you should go with me. You know, so you don't miss me," I grinned up at him. He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"That's actually….not a bad idea. I bet we could get people to cover our shift at work while we were gone. Tommy owes me anyways so he could manage it."

"Really? You want to…go with me to Forks?" I said shocked. I could see Charlie's face now walking through the front door with Ryan in tow.

"Well, why not? I could see where you grew up and meet your Dad. I think it would be fun."

"I wouldn't consider Forks necessarily fun but I would definitely enjoy the company that's for sure," I smirked as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me.

He hovered above me, teasing me as usual with his kisses, barely grazing my lips before I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled him closer, his lips crashing into mine, our lips moving in sync with one another. He pulled back to look at me, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Then it's settled. I will go with you for Christmas." I smiled back at him, but I couldn't help but feel worried about going home.

After he left that night, I sat down with Rebecca and Rachel for dinner which hardly happened since we were never home at the same time. Rachel had made enchiladas which was her specialty.

"So what do you guys have planned for Christmas?" I said casually as I took a bite of my enchiladas.

"We hadn't really decided yet. We have been talking to Dad and Jake and they said they were going to be having Christmas dinner with Charlie of course," Rachel said serving herself some beans.

"Why B?" Rebecca said, looking at me suspiciously.

"Oh, no reason. I was just wondering what we were going to do," I said diverting my eyes.

"Bella…" Rachel said setting down her fork with a clank.

"What? I just wanted to know." I said taking another bite and smiling.

"You know we are probably going to go back," she said raising her eyebrow. "We do it every year so why would it be any different?"

"I know but it's a little different this year…." I said trailing off. I looked up at her and she folded her hands over her plate. "Ryan wants to come with us back to Forks."

"What?" Rachel said quickly

"I think that it might be a good idea," Rebecca said smiling at me. "He can meet Charlie so he might calm down a bit about her having a boyfriend." Rachel stared back at Rebecca, her mouth gaping open.

I smiled at Rebecca as Rachel began to stutter but Rebecca said nothing and continued to eat. I loved the fact that Rebecca was on my side. She understood what I was going through.

"Rachel, settle down. If Charlie met Ryan and saw what a good guy he is, it might settle his mind about what Bella is actually doing here." Rachel began to argue again.

"Fine, Rachel we will just tell Charlie that he is coming and see what he says. Leave it up to Charlie to decide, not us. We are not her parents." Rachel looked at me and hung her head and finished her meal without another word on the subject.

I decided that I would ask Charlie that night if it was ok if Ryan came with us for Christmas. It was bad enough I had missed Thanksgiving but I was pretty sure he wouldn't be opposed to Ryan coming as long as I was coming too. I know he missed me so anything he could do to bring me home he would do.

"Hey Bells," he said once he heard my voice.

"Hey Dad. How was your Thanksgiving?"

"Oh you know, it was pretty boring. Billy and Jake came over and Megan cooked. It was nice but it would have been nicer if you were home," he said critically.

"Yeah, that's kind of what I was calling about."

"Are you coming home?" His voice full of hope.

"Well, for Christmas break, yes. I was talking to the girls about it at dinner tonight."

"Oh Bella, that would be great. I have missed you so much. I've got a surprise for you here when you get back here. When are you guys coming?"

"I am not sure yet but I kind of have a surprise for you too, Dad. I was wondering if it would be alright if I brought someone with me."

"Well sure. One of your girlfriends?" There was silence for a second and then he spoke again. "Who is it Bella?"

"It's Ryan," I said anxiously awaiting his response.

"That boy you've been dating?" Irritation penetrated his voice.

"Yes Dad. He would like to meet you. Dad this really means a lot to me." I begged.

"Bella where is he going to stay while he is here?"

"He can stay in a motel or something." Awkward silences make me nervous. "Please Dad, please let him come.

"I don't know, Bella."

"I am begging you Dad." He sighed and I knew I had one.

"Fine Bella, but he can't stay in the house."

"Thank you Dad, Thank you!" I screamed into the phone.

I hung up with Charlie and called Ryan to tell him that he would be coming with us to Forks. The girls and I had decided to take my car during the trip seeing as I was coming back to California. We would be gone for nearly two weeks and come back before school started up again.

I was nervous to get back to Forks and see everyone I had left behind, including the one person I could do without seeing. I had never told Ryan about Edward so when it had come time to start the drive he noticed something was wrong and I had to tell him the truth.

"What's wrong, babe?" he said draping his arm over my shoulder as I pushed a duffel bag into the trunk.

"Nothing, does something look wrong?" I pushed harder on the duffel bag, shoving it further into the trunk

"You look tense and worried. Are you ok?"

"Ryan," I said turning around to look at him and sitting on the bummer of the car, "I have something to tell you." He knelt down in front of me and rested his hands on my knees.

"What's wrong? Do you not want me to go?"

"No, no, no, it's nothing like that. I just want to tell you before we get there that I left on really bad terms with a couple people." He stared at me for a second and waited for me to continued, his face tense "I have an ex boyfriend that I left behind that I had…" His face relaxed and he smiled.

"Bella there is no need to explain yourself. We all have ex's, it's really not a big deal," he said cupping my cheek with his hand. "If we see him, we can make him jealous," he said standing up, leaning down and kissing me gently on the lips.

"Oh I think I could handle that," I said wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.

"Hey you two, break it up," Rebecca said carrying two bags and tossing them into the trunk behind me. Ryan stood up and pulled me up next to him.

"Sorry, Becky, I forgot, do you want one too?" he said making kissing noises at her and she laughed.

" I think I will pass young one," she said rolling her eyes and heading back into the house.

Once we had finished packing we piled into the car with Rebecca on first shift. If we all took shifts driving we would be there in about a day. The drive was long and hard, it was raining more than usual and in some places it snowed but nothing too bad. We pulled into Forks city limits nearly a day and a half after we had left and it was raining like normal.

Rachel was driving and it was nearly dark when we pulled in front of my house, my red truck in the exact spot I had left it and Charlie's car parked next to it.

Charlie stepped out of the house holding an umbrella, ran down the steps to the car and pulled me into a hug the second I had gotten out. He hugged me tightly, lifting me off the ground with one arm and swung me around. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he had missed me.

"Bells! I am so glad you are here," he said setting me back down on the ground.

"Gees Dad," I said straightening out my coat and trying to catch my breath. Ryan got out of the other door and Charlie looked over the roof of the car at him. I turned to look at Ryan who had pulled his hood over his head.

"Dad, this is Ryan, Ryan this is my dad, Charlie." Ryan walked around the car and stuck his hand out to Charlie who shook it hesitantly.

"It's nice to finally meet you Mr. Swan," Ryan said enthusiastically.

"Nice to met you too, Ryan," he said looking at him suspiciously.

The girls finally stepped out of the car and Charlie turned to them hugging them both tightly. They stood near the car for a couple minutes talking about the trip when a car pulled up behind us and I noticed it was Megan. She waved to me from inside the car, a big grin on her face.

I smiled back at her as best as I could and she turned off the headlights, put on her raincoat and opened the car door. I turned back around towards the car and started to pull my bags from the trunk. Ryan came to my side and helped me pulled some bags out to the take into the house when I heard Megan behind me. I turned around, my duffel bag in my hand to greet her. She was standing with her back to me, an umbrella in her hand talking to Charlie.

"Hi Megan," I said cheerfully, trying to be nice. She turned around and my bag fell from my hands into a puddle.

"Hi Bella," she said. I looked to Charlie who was rubbing the back of his head nervously.

"Dad?" I said obviously shaken.

"Bella….. Megan and I got married," he said quietly.

* * *

**A/N: All I can say is Charlie is a freaking pimp. LOL. So I realize not everyone is loving that angle but I am sorry. :( I expect the hate mail by now.**

**I have a little bit of a surprise for you all coming up. I am still working on it so we will see how it turned out. Should be done in the next day. Give it to me people! Bring on the reviews!**

**~J**


	21. Truths and Roses have thorns about them

**A/N: So all I ask on this one, is that you go into this with an open mind. It took me a long long time to get this one out, not to mention I have been busy as hell. Just keep an open mind and don't kill me. I actually really enjoyed writing it, oddly enough.**

**

* * *

**

**Rosalie**

I stared out the window of my third floor dorm room, my perfect reflection looking back at me. The sun was shining brightly and I had to squint to look out over the campus from my perch. Students walked back hurriedly to their dorms or to their cars in anticipation for the long weekend.

I turned away from the window and sat down on my small twin bed, looking around the messy room. Books and clothes scattered the floor, empty food containers sat on my roommate's bedside table. I looked at my side of the room and everything was in perfect order, as usual.

The door opened and my roommate came in, jumping on her bed in the process knocking over the food-crusted plate that sat on the bedside table. I cringed and threw her a disgusted look but she didn't pay any attention to me.

She stretched out across her bed, her pigtails covering her plump face. She didn't move for a while and I thought she had fallen asleep until she sat straight up, staring at me. Her dark frame glasses fell down her nose and she pushed them back up, brushing her black hair out of her face. I looked at her face and noticed it was exceptionally pale today. She had done her make up very heavy with black eye shadow and black lipstick, as usual.

I looked her up and down, her attire was something you would find at a Marilyn Manson concert; black knee high boots, black fishnet stockings, a black skirt that was entirely too short for someone with her figure and a tight red shirt with some band name on it that I had never heard of.

"Jenny do you think you could clean up your side of the room," I said staring at the plate with the fork sticking to it that now sat on the floor.

"I can't right now, I have to finish packing. I am going home for the weekend," she said getting to her feet and rummaging through her closet. She threw a couple of shirts onto the bed and I scoffed.

I got up off my bed, headed out of the room and down the hall to Emmett's room. I wasn't about to sit another minute in that damn room with her. I don't know how I was placed with her as my roommate anyways; we were two completely different people. I pushed passed a couple making out in the hallway and stopped in front of Emmett's door, loud music blaring from behind it. I knocked loudly, waited but there was no response so I knocked again loudly and pushed the door open.

Emmett was standing in the center of the room in the middle of a full-blown air guitar solo. He jumped up and down, striking chords on his invisible guitar. I couldn't help but laugh at him, he always knew how to make me laugh. I headed over to the radio and turned it down. He turned around, a confused look on his face, but when he saw me, his face lit up.

"Hey baby," he said leaning over to me and kissing my cheek as I stood with my hands on my hips, a smile stretched across my perfect lips.

"Em, I think we should have gone home for the weekend," I said sitting in a chair near the closet. All I could think about was Emmilie and I hadn't heard anything from Carlisle since her last treatment two weeks ago. That was Emmilie's second attempt at the chemo and I was hopeful that this would be the one to push her into remission.

"Well , babe, it's a little late now," he said sitting down on the edge of his bed, folding his hands in his lap. "It's nearly three. We will never be able to get home in such short notice."

"I miss my family" I lied.

"Rose, you hate your family," he chuckled.

"I know but I haven't seen them in months and I am really starting to miss Jazz."

"I don't blame you, I really miss Alice, Edward and especially little Em. I miss her little smile and the way she used to laugh at me when we would play peek-a-boo. I wonder if she lost her hair yet" He said staring off out the window. I cringed at the thought of my baby with no hair. Emmilie had always had hair, she had been born with a full head of curly dark hair.

A faint noise interrupted my thoughts and I looked around the room to find the source. Emmett reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cell phone. It rang loudly once it was freed from his pocket and he answered it quickly.

"Esme," he said excitedly. He paused and began talking again. "Really?….. No, I wouldn't at all… Sure…..Alright you too." He put the phone back in his pocket and looked up at me again.

"What was that about?" I said crossing the room and sitting next to him on the bed.

"Emmilie is…." I stared at him in horror." She is going to need a bone marrow transplant," he said hanging his head. "Esme wants me to come home to check if I match. The rest of them are on their way up to Seattle right now."

I clutched my chest, and tears pooled in my eyes. I felt a sharp pain in my chest and knew it had to be my heart breaking. I knew I had agreed with the Cullen's to remain silent when it came to Emmilie but I couldn't help it. She was my flesh and blood and no matter how much I wanted to ignore it, I couldn't.

Emmett grabbed my hand and wiped the tears that fell from my cheeks. He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arm around me as I leaned my head on his shoulder. He swayed back and forth, his attempt to sooth me failing. Nothing could be done.

"Rose, it's ok sweetie, we will find her one," he said softly, nuzzling into my hair.

"She is so little, Em. She doesn't deserve to pay for her mother's mistakes," I sobbed.

"What do you mean?" Emmett said pushing my hair out of my face. I had slipped.

"Well, I mean…you know since her mother gave her up…I only assume her mother was….ashamed or something." I said trying to backtrack.

"Oh, yeah I know. I don't think I could ever give up my child like that," he said pushing my head into his chest. "She is so sweet. What kind of person would do that?" I squeezed my eyes shut, more tears falling down my cheeks. He would hate me if he knew.

"Esme said she already booked us a flight to Seattle," he said unwrapping himself from around me and standing up.

"Us? She bought us both tickets?" I said startled as I watched him pull clothes from the closet.

"Yeah, you are my girlfriend, Rose. You are like family," he said pulling his suitcase from the top shelf. He was the only one that considered me family, I knew exactly where everyone else stood on that.

"I wouldn't feel comfortable intruding on your family's privacy," I said trying to find an excuse. If I showed my face at that hospital, Edward would surely tell Emmett about her.

"Rose, you are coming with me, like it or not so go pack your bags or I will and you won't like what I pack because I am damn near colorblind," he said turning to me.

I started out of the room and back down the hall towards my room, my mind spinning. I couldn't show up without Edward going ballistic. The look in his eyes that night scared me. I had never seen that sort of rage before, let alone coming from Edward.

I could understand him being angry with me, I had just ruined his relationship with Bella and yet all I could think about was what she had that I didn't have. What attracted him to her? I was pretty, wasn't I? I stopped at my door, a boy in the hallway stared at me and I flipped my hair. He smiled at me and I smirked back as I headed into the room, completely satisfied. Of course, I was pretty. I turned into my room to see Jenny packing still. I sat down on the bed and watched her, as I got lost in my thoughts.

He had never wanted me and I couldn't figure it out. I was more attractive than most girls were, I was smarter than most of them as well and the results were still the same. I had done everything I could possible to make him want me, and yet he denied me every time. As much as I wanted Edward to fall in love with me, I found myself falling in love with Emmett and yet I couldn't overcome my obsession with Edward

"Babe, why aren't you packing?" Emmett said interrupting my thoughts.

"Emmett, really, I don't think it's a good idea…" He started towards my closet and threw the door open. Clothes flew off the hangers onto the floor and my mouth gaped open.

"Emmett! What are you doing?" I said running to pick the clothes up from the floor.

"Rose, I don't have time to argue with you. You need to be tested as well. We need all the samples we can get," he said.

I knew that once he set his mind to something, there was no changing it. Emmett was pigheaded and I knew when not to push him. I could only hope that Edward would understand what I was doing, and that I was only doing it to save Emmilie.

He pulled my suitcase out from the back of the closet, set it on the bed and began throwing clothes into it. I grabbed the clothes in the suitcase, folding them and setting them down in the suitcase. Emmett helped me pack quickly and he carried our luggage down to the jeep as I got into it slowly, trying to stall but he skid out of the parking lot as soon as I closed my door. I had mere hours before I had to explain myself to Edward, the father of my child or to Emmett, the love of my life.

-------

We landed in Seattle three hours later, Emmett pulling me behind him as we exited the gate to get our luggage. Esme was already waiting for us, our baggage already on a cart and she greeted Emmett with a warm hug. She looked at me and my heart raced. I was unsure of the reaction she was going to have to me but she smiled and hugged me gently.

"I am so sorry Rose," she whispered into my ear, the words brought tears to my eyes. She quickly pulled back and I held the tears back as Emmett grabbed my hand and pulled me off towards the car.

Once we were loaded into the car, we headed towards the hospital and my anxiety began to build. I hadn't come up with anything to say, the words escaped me. I had no reason or excuse to give to Emmett once Edward told him and I was certain Edward would tell him. He warned me and I had disobeyed him. All I could do was hope he would show me mercy.

We pulled into the large hospital's parking lot, it's lights shining brightly against the black background of the night. I clenched Emmett's hand as we entered the lobby, my heels clacking against the tile floors, and followed Esme to the elevator. I hated hospitals, damn near despised them. They were so white and sterile and smelled of death.

Once we were in the elevator, my anxiety reached an all time high. My chest was tight, my breathing shallow and my mind raced. I squeezed Emmett's hand tightly and he turned to me, a smile on his face. I was nervous to see Edward's reaction.

The elevator doors pushed open and I immediately caught a glimpse of Edward leaning against at the nurse's station, his back towards us. Emmett stepped out towards Edward, but I didn't move. He pulled my hand gently again but I was frozen stiff as I stared at Edward's back. He ran his hands through his hair, the habit he did when he was nervous.

Emmett pulled me harder and I nearly stumbled as I crossed into the hallway, my heels interrupting the quietness of the floor. Edward turned around abruptly, his gaze on me. I held my breath and closed my eyes in anticipation of the end of my life, as I knew it.

The hall was eerily quiet and I waited but Emmett released my hand and my eyes flew open. Emmett crossed the hall and embraced his brother and then Alice. Alice smiled at me from over Emmett's shoulder and she ran to me and hugged me. Her reaction startled me as I hugged her back.

"It's ok Rose," she promised me and I released the breath I was holding.

"How do you know?" I whispered.

"He is thinking about nothing but Emmilie. She is the most important thing right now and all we care about is getting her healthy." I looked up at Edward who was talking to Emmett. I caught his eye, but he wore a blank stare on his face.

Jasper appeared from around the corner and I ran to him as quickly as I could, a startled look on his face. I wrapped my arms around my brother's neck and sobbed softly into his shoulder. He patted my back softly and shushed me.

"Jasper, I am so happy you are here," I croaked.

"Of course I am here. I missed you," he said pulling back. "You ok?" he said as he pushed a tear off my cheek.

"Yeah, I think so. How is she?" I said quietly.

"She needs a donor Rose. Carlisle is in there talking to Dr. Pendergrass right now, so we are just waiting to get the go ahead."

We followed Esme into the waiting room down at the end of the hall. I sat next to Emmett and griped his hand so tight my knuckles turned white but I doubt it affected him any. I didn't dare look at Edward. I was far too afraid he would just burst into a fit of rage.

We sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever when Carlisle came in and sat next to Esme. He hugged her momentarily and turned back to the rest of us. He looked into all of our faces, a somber look on his face.

"Well they are ready for everyone," he sighed. "Who will go first?" he said looking around at all of us. I knew I wouldn't be needed because I was already tested. Emmett stood up and Carlisle nodded. I grabbed his arm nervously and he looked down at me and smiled.

"It's alright Rose, it's for Em," he said placing his finger under my chin and raising it so he could look into my eyes. "I will be fine." He leaned down kissed my cheek and followed Carlisle out of the room.

The whole family turned to look at me once Emmett was gone. Jasper came and took the empty chair next to me as I stared after Emmett. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I began to sob softly. Alice knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands in hers, a look of angst upon her face.

"This is entirely my fault," I said weeping into Jasper's chest. "I am a terrible person." I heard someone scoff and I could only assume it was Edward but he was right, I was.

"This is not your fault Rose," I heard Esme say. She was always so kind to me, even after everything, I had done to her family and I couldn't figure out why. She should loath me and want me out of her life and yet here she was comforting me.

"She is right," I heard Edward say and my head shot up in surprise.

"What?" I said quietly as I looked into his eyes, so much sadness flashed in them that it nearly hurt me to look into them.

"As much as I despise you Rose and everything you have done to me, THIS is not your fault. Emmilie being sick is no one's fault." I could not believe my ears and I furrowed my brow. I looked down at Alice, a small smile crept up at the corners of her mouth.

"Look Rose, don't expect this to be something that happens often, me sticking up for you. If anything you owe me a hell of a lot of apologizing," he said getting up from his chair and stepping to the window, staying quiet once more.

I had never realized how much of a selfish bitch I was until I saw him standing there, looking out the window, a single tear falling down his cheek. He was in pain, pain that I had caused him. I had taken so much from him in my selfish attempt at happiness. He seemed to age right in front of me, from a shy little boy into a strong young man.

I knew we would never work out, I knew he loved Bella and I knew she made him happy, just as Emmett made me happy. Edward would never love me and it had bothered me so much more than it should have, until now.

Every man in my life had always paid attention to me because I was beautiful, all except Edward. Edward saw past my looks and my fake personality that I always presented to people and he didn't buy into it. The unhealthy obsessed I had developed in high school had become nothing more than a habit that had carried on for years. It had become a challenge once Bella had come into the picture and once I saw the connection they had, I had to figure out a way to stop it.

I became utterly jealous that this small town girl could capture Edward's heart in ways I could never even dream and I pushed harder to get it. I pushed it so far I had run Bella off and out of his life, leaving him alone. My intense desire to have everyone love me ruined people's lives, including my own, starting with Emmett.. I had this wonderful person in Emmett who loved me with all of his heart, it wasn't enough for me, and now that I had realized what it meant to me, it might all come crashing down at any moment.

I had to tell Emmett the truth even if Edward didn't; I had to. Emmett deserved the truth and he deserved to know what kind of person he really loved. I was ready to assume full responsibility for my actions and tell him Emmilie was my daughter and that Edward was her father. Edward was Emmilie's father after one drunken night that I hadn't remembered much of in the first place.

I sat back in my chair, still leaning against Jasper, Alice taking her seat next to Esme. I closed my eyes and tried to remember that night, the night I had ultimately ruined Edward's life.

I didn't remember much of that night past going into the room with Edward. I saw Edward standing in the hall. Edward was stumbling around the hallway, looking in every door he could to find a place to sleep. Emmett of course helped him stand straight and I offered him my room and then…..then the memory stopped.

I remembered waking up the next morning, half-naked with a blanket covering me. I had a vague recollection of what had happened the night before as I looked down at my half-naked body.

Emmett had come in a couple of minutes later, a big smile on his face. He lay down next to me as I sprawled out on the bed under my blanket and I looked up at the ceiling, thinking about my first time that I hadn't remembered. He told me about how he had always loved me ever since the first time he saw me. He told me how much he wished I would be with him and how he would do anything for me.

I had never had anyone express their feelings for me so when Emmett told me those things that morning I started to cry. He didn't want me for my body, he didn't want me for my looks; He wanted me for me and nothing else.

"Don't cry Rose," he said as he leaned over me and caressed my cheek with his thumb. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but want to love him back. I broke down, and gave him a chance, as well as myself to love someone other than me. I gave him the chance and we started to see each other soon after.

Nearly three months after the party, I had missed my period, which wasn't uncommon, but I decided to get a pregnancy test. It tested positive but I decided to go to the doctor to make sure. He did confirm my fear and placed my conception to the time of the party. I hadn't slept with Emmett until nearly a month after the party so I knew it had to be Edward's baby.

I was afraid to tell Emmett, I was afraid to tell anyone but once Jasper found out, he told my parents. Mrs. Cullen found out and once she did, she ended up firing my father, hating me even more than she already did and sending Edward away to boot camp. I was pretty sure she didn't like the fact that I was seeing Emmett, I could see it in her face on the day we moved away. I had even heard her call me names under her breath many times and to other people but it never surprised me. She knew that once I left he would come and find me and be with me because he loved me.

Two years later and he still loved me, and I was still obsessed over Edward. The thought of now losing Emmett scared me, scared me more than Edward's rage. I leaned into Jasper's chest and began to cry again, this time tears for myself. _Was this God's way of punishing me for my heinous acts of inhumanity? To strip me of all things I held dear to my heart? _

I had been so afraid to commit to Emmett before and I had taken him for granted. We had only spent the last seven months together, such a short period of time because I was pigheaded, ignorant and obsessed with a fantasy that would never be. I had wasted such precious time with Emmett and now I was regretting it. I had to make things right, some how, some way.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to Emmett's booming voice. I opened my eyes to see Emmett standing in the middle of the waiting room, a big grin on his face. I had fallen asleep in Jasper's lap and I got to my feet, hugging Emmett tightly. I looked around the room and noticed everyone else was sleeping and the sun was shining brightly through the large glass windows.

"Hey, hey!" Emmett said pushing back and looking at me. "What's that all about?"

"I missed you," I said leaning up and kissing his lips. I really and truly did miss him more than ever.

"I was only gone a couple hours," he said yawning. "Edward went in an hour ago and Alice and Jasper are next. Are you going in?" he yawned again.

"I already did," I said hugging him tightly again, not necessarily lying. This was going to take some getting used to.

We didn't stay much longer in Seattle after everyone had been tested. Emmett and I had caught the red eye back that night after I had said goodbye to Emmilie. It pained me to see her. The months of chemo made her skin pale and her thick curly hair to fall out. With the holidays around the corner, I knew I would see her again and soon. I contemplated transferring back to Washington for college, kicking myself for thinking Texas was a good way to go.

Thanksgiving came around nearly a week later and we headed back to Seattle. The sterile hospital becoming our second home. Esme had rented an apartment just a block from the hospital where she would stay while she was here. The chemo and tests continued while we waited for more news in the apartment. We spent Thanksgiving in the hospital cafeteria where no one spoke. It was the most awkward Thanksgiving I had ever been to but I was near my daughter and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

I decided to go back to Forks for a couple days to spend with my parents and Jasper before we all headed back to our schools, Jasper back to New Hampshire, Emmett and I back to Texas. I left Emmett in Seattle with his family as I headed back home to Forks dismally. My family was not exactly the perfect family and it showed that by the way my parents handled our issues.

My parents knew the Cullen's had taken Emmilie but had refused to see her and begged me to do the same. They wanted to be done with it. Once I had told my mother about Emmilie's illness, she refused to speak about it. I hated the fact my parents could just sweep the whole thing under the rug, as if nothing happened, as if I was never pregnant and as if Emmilie never existed. It wasn't so easy for me to forget and I couldn't be around them when they acted that way. I headed back to Texas earlier than planned and waited for Emmett who came home the next day.

We resumed classes the following Monday as we prepared for winter break, that was only a couple of weeks away. I studied harder than ever, hoping to distract myself from Emmilie. I filled my days with books, term papers, and shopping for Christmas gifts.

I worried more with each passing day, hoping that one of us was a match to her. I called Carlisle, what seemed like nearly everyday, in hopes he would have news. The weeks until Christmas seemed to drag on at a painfully slow pace and my anxiety was enough to kill me.

The last week before break, I focused on my classes, studying anything and everything I possibly could. I tried to study in my room but Jenny was offering up more distractions than I would have liked. She kept the radio loud with music you couldn't even understand. It was nothing but loud screaming rock music, which definitely wasn't my type of music.

"Jenny, do you think you could turn down the radio?" I said turning from my math textbook to see her lying on her stomach on the bed. She was banging her head to the beat with her eyes closed.

"JENNY!" I nearly yelled this time at her. She turned to me quickly, giving me an annoyed look.

"What?" She scowled at me.

"Can you turn the music down?" I said staring at her but instead she turned back to her books ignoring my request.

I scoffed, gathered my books and headed down to the library. I never studied there but at this point, I needed the quiet to think. I grabbed my jacket from the closet and headed across campus towards the library just as the sun was setting, casting pink and oranges across the sky. I loved winter when the days were shorter and much cooler. It was definitely a change from Washington but I loved it here.

I pushed past the crowds of students loitering on the library steps, huddled together to shelter each other from the wind that was whipping through the courtyard. They were all talking loudly and laughing as I climbed the steps and pulled open the large wooden door that lead to the library. A warm gust of air hit me as soon as I stepped into the building taking the slight chill away.

I made my way over to the corner of the library even though there hardly anyone in the library, I wanted to make sure I was going to be left alone. I set my books down on a round wooden table and looked around the desolate library. Finally, the peace and quiet I had been looking for. I pulled my jacket off, hung it on the back of the chair and took a seat. I opened up my books and began to read again, but I kept reading the same paragraph repeatedly, unable to take in the words. I kept getting distracted by my own thoughts of Emmilie. I was never going to be able to study, no matter where I went.

I stayed in the library until they kicked me out and headed back to my room. Once outside, the cool winter air chilled me to the bone, making me shiver and run hurriedly back to the warmth of my room. I passed by Emmett's room on my way to my own and smiled. I hadn't seen him all day but that was partially my fault. I was ignoring him to a point. He had a tendency to make things worse when it came to distractions.

I opened the door to my room to find that Jenny was gone finally; where to, I didn't care. I tossing my books onto the desk, changing into my pajamas and snuggled down into my lumpy bed to try for some sleep for the upcoming finals I had coming this week.

I finished the rest of the week out passing all of my exams but not as well as I would have liked. My last exam was Thursday afternoon and I planned to be back in Forks by Thursday night. After my exam, I headed back to my room to pack for the near month winter vacation. I entered my room, which was quiet; Jenny had already packed and left yesterday.

I heard a knock at my door and Emmett's head appeared from behind the door, a smile on his face. I smiled back at him and turned back towards my closet, pulling clothes off the hangers and laying them on the bed.

"Hey gorgeous," he said plopping down on the bed next to my suitcase. He grabbed my arm and pulled my onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

"Hi," I said snuggling into his arms. He pushed the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead tenderly.

"Are you almost ready to go?" He pulled me closer into his chest and I sighed in contentment.

"I would be if you hadn't come in here and distracted me," I said wriggling in his arms.

"Alright, alright," he said loosening his grip on me and I climbed out of his lap to finish packing.

I finished packing the rest of my belongings into my suitcases as Emmett sat on the bed and watched me. Once I put the last item of clothing on top of pile, I zipped the suitcase up and set it on the floor. I gathered a few more things and we grabbed my luggage, heading down towards the parking lot where the jeep was parked. I climbed into the front seat while Emmett put my luggage into the back. I fidgeted nervously in my seat, excited to go home for Christmas and I hoped that Edward wouldn't react with hostility.

-----

Carlisle was waiting for us at the gate once we had landed in Seattle and he escorted us to baggage claim to help us find our luggage. Emmett and Carlisle talked about something while I trailed behind them, rolling one of my suitcases behind me. I picked my trench coat up that was lying on top of my bag and slipped it on before headed out through the automatic doors.

It was pouring down as usual in Seattle and luckily, I had changed out of my red velvet heels and into a pair of black leather heels. They didn't match with my outfit as well as the red ones but I wasn't about to ruin them by getting them wet. I pulled the jacket over my head as we headed for Carlisle's Mercedes.

I climbed into the backseat as quickly as I could and pulled off my jacket while Carlisle and Emmett put the luggage into the trunk. Emmett climbed in beside me and shook out his damp hair, water droplets hitting me in the face.

We pulled into the hospital parking lot and headed up to Emmilie's room. Esme was sitting in the chair, holding Emmilie and reading her a story. I nearly cried when I saw Emmilie, a small pink scarf with white hearts covered her little head. There was no sign of her hair; it was all gone. I stood in the doorway for a few seconds while Emmett wandered over to Esme and knelt in front of her.

"Hey Little Em," he said, tugging gently on her bare foot. Her pale face lit up, a small giggle escaping her tiny mouth.

"Emmm," she mumbled. "Emmmm….uhhh," she tried again. Emmett grinned widely as she tried to say his name.

"She can talk," he said standing up and turning to Carlisle.

"She's been talking for a couple weeks," Esme said softly, closing the book and setting it on the side table. Carlisle sat down on the cot and I took a seat next to him as I watched Emmilie.

"She's been doing really well. I have been working with her for weeks," Carlisle said smugly.

"Where is everyone else?" Emmett said turning to Carlisle.

"Edward and Alice are still in Forks. The doctor's said we can take Emmilie home for a while, at least until her next round of chemo. We are going to stay the night here in Seattle and pick Jasper up from the airport in the morning then head home."

"Emmilie finally gets to come home," Esme said snuggling against her. "Edward and Alice are decorating the house for Christmas. I can't wait to bring her home for awhile," she said looking at me.

We all headed back to the apartment with Emmilie, the first time she had been released since she had been admitted nearly four months ago. Emmett set up in the living room while I set up in one of the guest rooms and fell asleep early; Everything was catching up with me all at once and was exhausted. I was asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

The next morning we followed Esme to the airport where she picked up Jasper and then headed back to Forks. Jasper and I had decided that it was best not to tell our parents that we had come back yet so I could spend sometime with Emmilie.

We pulled into the Cullen driveway a little after one and we parked the cars in the garage. I was nervous to go into the house knowing that Edward was going to be in there and not knowing what his mood was. Emmett pulled our luggage from the trunk of the car as I pulled my jacket up and over my head, ready to run towards the house.

"Emmett, can you bring that suitcase into the house?" I said pointing to the large suitcase, he had set down on the concrete. "That one has the presents," I said smiling and turning towards the house.

I ran quickly across the driveway, my heels digging into the gravel and mud as Emmett trailed behind me walking at a slow pace. I made it up to the porch right as Carlisle had opened the large front door. Esme jogged up behind Emmett, Emmilie in her arms covered with Esme's jacket. I stepped inside the warm house, Esme and Emmett stepping in after me and I set my jacket on a chair near the door. I could smell pine and I knew there had to be a tree around here somewhere.

"Hello! We are home," Carlisle yelled, his voice echoing off the walls. I heard a squeal and Alice came barreling around the corner and ran right for Emmett who lifted her from the ground, spinning her in a circle.

"Emmett!" Alice squealed into his ear.

"Hey Al," he said setting her down onto the floor. Alice, once released from Emmett's grip, ran to Carlisle and hugged him as well.

"Hi Rose," she said over Carlisle's shoulder, giving me a big grin.

"Hi Alice," I smiled at her. Edward appeared in the entryway, a smile on his face as he looked over his family members. He looked at me and I tensed up, the smile disappearing from his face. I held my breath, waiting for his reaction but he just nodded and hugged Emmett. I took his nod as one of peace and I released my breath quietly, trying not to show my nervousness.

Everyone headed into the living room, which was decorated for Christmas. A large Christmas tree, which had to be ten feet tall, stood in the far corner of the room. It was decorated with what had to be hundreds of tiny white lights, silver balls and small red ribbons randomly placed. A large silver star on the top of the tree completely the look that looked beautiful. Piles and piles of presents sat underneath the tree, all colorful and wrapped perfectly. It looked like a scene from a store window; Alice had really outdone herself.

I went back into the entryway where Emmett had left my suitcase and I rolled it into the living room, setting it down on the floor near the tree. Everyone watched me as I pulled out present after present and set them under the tree.

"Rose, dear, you really didn't have to do that," Esme said, resting her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her and smiled.

"I wanted to do something nice for everyone," I said happily. I didn't want to tell them I had only done it to keep my mind off Emmilie, but it was another reason I had gone out and bought all these extravagant presents.

I got to my feet and set the now empty suitcase against the wall. Emmett picked up Emmilie, trying to be as gentle with her as he could which was surprisingly careful. She smiled at him and grabbed for his face, her small hand running down his large cheek. Seeing Emmett with her made me want to cry, he was also so good with her. I sat with Emmett on the couch for what felt like forever, holding Emmilie, listening to her giggle and watching her play with her doll.

A wrenching feeling formed in my stomach as I watched Emmilie, her dark hair gone, her once rosy cheeks now pale white. I was tired of waiting, waiting to hear if she was better, waiting to know if she would be better any time soon. I was nervous and afraid for her. She was a baby and she didn't deserve to have this terrible disease or be stuck in that damn sterile hospital, unable to do anything more than just be a baby.

"Maaaaammuuhhh," she cooed as she sat in Emmett's life. My eyes lit up as I watched her, my baby was talking and she knew whom I was. I smiled at her as she reached up towards me.

"Oh, Carlisle, she knows who I am," Esme said sweetly from behind me as Emmilie reached for her and Esme picked her up and snuggled her into her chest. I then realized she had seen Esme and was calling for her, and not for me. My throat tightened as I fought back the tears that threatened to flow from my eyes. I hung my head for a moment in an attempt to compose myself, taking in deep breaths.

"Dinner is ready everyone," Esme said, kissing Emmilie's pale cheek. Emmett immediately jumped up and headed towards the kitchen, ignoring my sudden change in mood. I was glad for Emmett's obliviousness sometimes. I took my time getting up from the couch and followed behind Jasper as he headed for the kitchen. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and he pulled me aside in the living room.

"Rose, are you ok?" he said holding my arm gently. I sniffled a bit and rubbed my nose, hoping the tears didn't start again. I took another deep breath before I spoke again.

"Jasper, I just don't know if I can do this anymore," I said leaning against the wall and closing my eyes.

"Rose, you have to do this for her." He said putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Jazz, she called Esme, Mama." I said folding my arms. He leaned closer to me and whispered.

"If you hadn't notice, she is her mother, Rose."

"That is MY daughter," I said gritting my teeth together, my anger rising in my stomach.

"Rosalie," he said callously, "you lost your right to call her your daughter the day you handed her to someone else to raise." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"What? Are you saying I shouldn't have given her up?" I whispered through my teeth.

"No, what I am saying is this; you gave her up, and you gave up your rights to her. Esme is her mother and you need to let Esme be her mother."

"Jasper, why are you being so insensitive? I am still her mother."

"You are right, you are her biological mother, that doesn't make you a mother," he said and I stumbled back in shocked. _How could he be so hurtful_? I stood opened-mouthed in front of him, unable to put a complete sentence together.

"Look Rose, I love you and you are my sister but you are so damn selfish sometimes. This world doesn't revolve solely around you," he said turning around and heading into the kitchen.

I stood on the other side of the wall, shocked at Jasper's hurtful words. No matter what happened I would always be her mother and I would always care. I hated to admit it but he was right about me being selfish; I was being selfish. I had given Emmilie up, I had given her to Esme and Carlisle and they were her parents now and I had no rights to her. They were generous enough to even let me see her.

Edward rounded the corner, interrupting my thoughts, and I straightened up quickly, wiping the tears from my eyes. He looked me up and down and continued out of the living room and out the front door. I took a couple deep breaths and headed into the kitchen to eat dinner, a fake smile plastered on my face.

I sat down at the table next to Emmett and he rested his hand on my leg, smiling at me as he shoveled food into his mouth. I picked at the food that sat on my plate, my appetite had suddenly disappeared, right a long with support from my brother.

"Where did Edward go?" Emmett said looking around the kitchen.

"He went to go meet up with _Tanya,"_ Alice said. She rolled her eyes as she said the name.

"Who is that?" Emmett said taking another bite.

"Some….girl he has been hanging around with from school. She volunteers at the hospital in the children's ward." Alice said pushing her food around her plate.

"He's got a girlfriend, huh?" Emmett said smirking.

"NO!" Alice said loudly, throwing her fork down on the plate, a loud clanking noise ringing throughout the quiet house. She pushed her chair back, it scrapped loudly on the tile floor, and stomped out of the room.

"What's her problem?" Emmett laughed. I looked down nervously into my lap, knowing full well why Alice was upset. Bella was Edward's only girlfriend. I touched his shoulder lightly and shook my head and his face went serious. I hadn't realized it until now but I had hurt Alice as well. I took away her best friend.

We sat at the table quietly and no one else said another word. It was the most awkward dinner I had ever had with this family and I sat there quietly, knowing this fight was about me. Everyone at the table had known it as well; all except Emmett. I touched Emmett's arm again, ready to go home and he nodded at me, knowing my request.

"It's getting late and I think we should probably be getting me home," I said turning to Carlisle and Esme and they both nodded. I pushed my chair back and Emmett followed me as I headed towards the door. I picked up my coat from the chair and placed it over my head as Emmett' lead me out the door, the rain pouring down on us as we raced across the driveway towards the garage.

-----

I had second thoughts about returning to the Cullen house after what had happened with Alice. I had hoped that she wouldn't have held what I had done against me, but I knew I was being foolish. I was actually somewhat jealous of what Alice and Bella had together.

I had decided that I would spend a couple days with my family, even if Jasper spent his time with Alice. I couldn't stand my mother for more than five minutes, so I found myself out and about the tiny town of Forks, in every store that I could find that didn't sell outdoor equipment.

I ended up in this small bookstore, one of two bookstores in the town, searching for a book on leukemia. I walked up and down the aisles, looking at book titles aimlessly, in no hurry to find a book on leukemia in such a small store.

When I hadn't found what I was looking for, I decided I would head back home, slowly of course. I dreaded going home to my mother who liked to pretend that nothing was wrong. She was at home baking gingerbread cookies and hanging the normal festive holiday decorations. It was Christmas, but it felt nothing like Christmas should. We still had no word about Emmilie and if any of us were a match to her. If anything, this was the worst Christmas ever.

I stopped at one of the only lights in town and waited for the light as trucks made their way into town from the highway to make their weekly delivers to the stores. I stared out the window at an elderly couple that walked slowly across the street with each other and I sighed. I wanted to grow old with Emmett but I was so scared of what Edward would do.

A car pulled along side me, music blaring loudly and I, for some reason, became extremely annoyed. The music boomed loudly through my cracked window and I was on the verge of yelling at the person to turn it down. I waited for a couple seconds, waiting for the music to fade down but it never did. I turned back to the car and was about to open my mouth when I stopped suddenly, my mouth hanging open in shock.

In the other car was Bella, sitting in her car, a smile spread across her face as she spoke. I leaned forward, trying to see whom she was talking to when I spotted a very handsome guy sitting in the passenger seat. I quickly sat back and gripped the steering wheel tightly, hoping she hadn't seen me. The light changed and I speed through it, my tires squealing as I tore off down the street back to my house.

My mind raced as I tried to understand what I had just seen. Bella was home. _When had she gotten home? Who was that guy she had riding with her? How long was she here for? _I wanted to reach into my purse and call Alice to let her know but once I had picked up the phone, I had decided it was not such a great idea.

I pulled into the driveway of our home and I got out, racing up the walkway into the house. The house smelled of pine trees and gingerbread, just as I had suspected and I raced through the house and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I threw myself on my bed face down and racked my brain for answers.

I sat on my bed, for what must have been hours, when I heard a knock at the door. The door opened and Jasper appeared, a smile across his face. He was wearing his black jacket and looked ready to go out. His smile disappeared when he saw my face, my brow must have been furrowed as I was lost in thought.

"Rose, what's wrong this time?" He folded his arms in front of him, a look of annoyance on his face. I don't blame him for being annoyed with me; it seemed like I was on an emotional rollercoaster lately.

"Jazz, do you promise not to say anything if I tell you?" I said leaning forward on my bed, pulling my knees into my chest. His face grew serious and he crossed the room, taking a seat at the edge of my bed. I hung my head and he rested his hand on my knee.

"You know I wouldn't do that," he said leaning down to look into my face.

"Jazz, Bella is back," I said quietly. I felt his fingers tighten around my knee and I looked up.

"Bella is back?" he repeated and I nodded. He let go of my knee and sat back, looking down into his lap nervously.

"Please don't tell Alice," I said leaning forward.

"Rose, Bella is Alice's best friend. She should know that she is home," he said turning back to me.

"I know, and believe me, she will know but….but there is something I have to do first." I said reaching for my bag.

"What are you doing Rosalie?" He said sitting up straight and growing rigid.

"Trust me on this, Jazz," I said as I pulled out my cell phone and began to dial.

"Rosalie, I think you have a bad track record for that," he said grabbing for my phone.

"Please Jasper, just this once, just….trust me," I said as I put the phone to my ear and listened to it ringing.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Don't hang up, this is Rosalie." There was silence except for heavy breathing. "We need to talk."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed it, if not I am sorry. It gives you a bit of insight into the one and only Queen B**** who isn't such a B at all. Review it....I shall wait eagerly for your responses, good and bad....Be nice! I guess I don't have to warn most of you, you tend to be nice to my poor little heart.**

**Thanks Gabby for the support, you are awesome and I do heart you! Couldn't have finished it without you cheering me on.**

**~J**


	22. The good die young

**A/N: Blah Blah, I don't own them.**

**Enjoy!**

**Edward**

I sat straight up, sweat dripping from my brow, my breathing short and ragged. I opened my eyes, the darkness surrounded me and I realized I was sitting in my bed. I sighed heavily as I slowly came back to reality. I struggled to calm myself as I turned on the light sitting on my bedside table, my breathing returning more to normal. These dreams always had a tendency to work me up. I ran my hands through my hair and pulled back the sheets that were now soaked with sweat.

I should be used to this by now, considering it happened nearly three times a week. I was starting to get frustrated by the nightmares that kept coming, disturbing my once peaceful nights.

The nightmares were always the same; Bella, beautiful smiling Bella, was running in an open field, her arms outstretched, her long dark hair flowing behind her as she ran to me. She looked so happy, the way she had before she left. I tried to run to her, but the harder I tried, the further away she got. I screamed out in agony, unable to reach her as I watched her slowly fade away into the distance and I was once again left alone in the field.

I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, touching them to the floor and curling my toes into the soft carpet. I missed her. I sat on the bed, gripping the edge of the mattress in my hands and stared down at the floor. I hadn't slept much during the last weeks and these dreams were starting to wear on me.

The dreams had started a couple of weeks ago, ever since the day in the car with Tanya when she kissed me. The more I was with Tanya, the more the dreams came and the more sleep I lost. I wanted to move on, to be able to let go of Bella because I was sure she had already done so.

Bella had been gone for months now, leaving me with a broken heart and a bruised ego. I couldn't let myself sit here and wallow in misery, even though I was miserable. I had to push myself to let it go because she obviously had. When Tanya had showed up, I saw her arrival as some sort of an omen. It happened at the most convenient time, right after Bella had left and I wondered if this was a sign from God to just move on with my life, starting with Tanya. I figured this was one of many reasons to forget Bella.

Tanya had filled my time with sick children and educating me more on the illness that had taken her sister and was now consuming my daughter. It was nice to have someone there for me that knew what I was going through. I didn't feel like I had to hide anything when I was with Tanya which was something I hadn't felt in a long time and it felt good.

I suppose my whole situation was of my own doing, not being able to open myself up completely due to my own insecurities about myself and my own failures. The secrets I kept were my own fault and I took responsibility for it, but it didn't easy my suffering. I was a failure in my mind, having a child before I could even drive, it was disgraceful really and I wasn't sure I blamed my mother for feeling the same way either.

I hadn't spoken to my mother in months after she had basically disowned me from the family and her life, I refrained from even thinking of her. As if forgetting her was hard in the first place, considering all the chaos in my life that was keeping me rather busy. I hated to admit it but I really had missed her. I wanted her to be here when I graduated and the thought of apologizing occurred to me more than once.

I had been letting my pride dictate my actions, trying desperately to cling to the good person I knew that resided inside myself, hoping to bring him out. I wanted to be that good guy, the one that makes the right choices, that does the right thing and I always ended up turning into something completely different.

I got to my feet quickly, stumbling in the dark as I made my way to the door. I opened it slowly before I remembered there was no one here to wake. Everyone in the house was gone, and I was all alone. I shuddered at the thought of me being alone, remembering my dream and my anxiety grew.

I opened the door quickly and staggered down the hallway sleepily, making my way to the bathroom. I stopped in front of Emmett's door and stared at it for a moment. I sighed as I stepped into the bathroom and turned the lights on. I squinted at the bright lights now radiating from above. I opened my eyes slowly to peak into the mirror and stared back at the reflection in the mirror.

I stared at myself, my green eyes encompassing by dark purplish circles , my skin pale white from the lack of sunlight, my bronze hair dishevled as usual. I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned closer, examining my eyes and noticed that they were darker than usual and the circles under them looked almost like bruises.

I turned the faucet on, running the cold water and waving my hand under it until it ran completely cool. Once it reached the desired temperature, I leaned down, splashing the water onto my face, the cool water feeling refreshing as it ran down my face. I grabbed the small beige towel that sat on the counter, dabbed my face until it was dry and headed back down the hall.

I slowly made my way back to my room and stopped in front of my bed. I stripped the bed of the damp sheets and tossed them into the corner of the room before grabbing my pillow and plopping myself down onto the leather couch and settling in until morning.

I woke that morning before the alarm, the restlessness hadn't dissipated from earlier that morning. I raised my head to look at the clock that sat on my bedside table and l noticed I had nearly half hour before I had to get up. I dropped my head back to the pillow and closed my eyes knowing full well I'd never get to sleep again before my alarm went off.

I decided it was better to just get up so I grabbed my towel and headed back to the bathroom for a quick shower. I usually didn't shower in the morning but I needed a little pick me up, if that was even possible right now. I stepped out into the hallway and made my way to the bathroom where I showered quickly.

Once showered and dried, I wrapped my towel around my waist and made my way out into the hallway when I heard a rustling noise. I stopped in my tracks, knowing no one was home and wondering if someone had broken in. It seemed rather unlikely considering the house was so far out of the way but anything was possible. I tiptoed in the direction of the noise that seemed to be coming downstairs.

I descended the stairs slowly when I saw something moving in the hall and I ran towards it. I jumped when I realized it was a person and then felt stupid when I realized it was Alice. She was pulling the door of the office shut when she saw me, screamed and dropped a couple of books onto the floor.

"Alice, what are you doing home?" I said, holding the towel that was growing looser around my waist.

"Edward," she said leaning down to pick up the books from the floor. "I just came to get some books from Dad's office," she said looking up at me. She pulled the books to her chest, trying to hide them from me as she hurried past me and up the stairs. I shook it off and headed back up stairs to get ready for school.

I jumped into the driver seat nearly forty minutes later, my tires spinning in the puddles as I tore off down the driveway towards school. I was feeling particularly pissed off today, the dream from this morning having everything to do with it.

I pulled into the parking lot as it poured down rain, the weather reflecting my gloomy mood as I found my usual parking spot. I heaved my bag from the passenger seat onto my lap and I sighed as I opened the door._ Another shitty day here I come_. I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up over my head, shielding myself from the rain that poured down from above and hopefully the stares that came from Jessica Stanley as she watched me cross the parking lot.

I yanked open the heavy doors and headed down the crowded hall, the rubber soles of my converse shoes squeaking on the linoleum floors as I marched towards my class. My mind was exceptionally distracted today, the lack of sleep had adjusted my train of thought to other things, things I should have been trying to forget.

I took my usual spot in the back of the classroom, tossing my bag on the floor beside the desk as I dropped down into the chair. I stared down at the desk, tracing the grains of wood with my fingers. I scrunched up my face, as I stared down at the wood, concentrating on the patterns they made when something interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey, what's up with the face?" Tanya chuckled. She sat down and pulled out her notebook, setting it down in front of her.

"What face?" I said keeping my gaze on the desk.

"You look like someone killed your dog," she said cocking her head to the side. "Are you alright?"

"Peachy fucking keen," I said sarcastically. She didn't say anything in response so I turned to look at her, her face full of pain. "Look, I am sorry," I apologized to her.

"It's fine," she said scribbling something down on her notebook and then looking towards the front of the class.

"No, its not fine," I said leaning over and resting my hand on her desk. "I am being a jerk to you and it's not your fault. I just didn't get much sleep last night." I said looking up into her eyes. I smiled up at her and she smiled back. I couldn't afford to lose her right now, she was all I had.

The rest of the day went by without a hitch as she tried to cheer me up which improved my mood slightly. After school we headed over to the hospital as usual to play with the kids. I was glad that she had brought me with her because it helped me with my anxiety about Emmilie and the leukemia.

I followed behind her as we entered the children's ward which was unusually quiet. We headed towards the nurse's station which was abandoned. Tanya looked around, seeing no one and peaked her head into one of the rooms. She did that twice more before she turned to shrug her shoulders at me.

"Where is everyone?" I said confused.

"I don't know." She headed back towards me and stood in front of me, looking around the ward nervously.

"Maybe they are in the recreational room," I said suddenly and her eyes brightened. She grabbed my hand and pulled me behind her as she raced down the hall towards the reacreation room.

I had been right and when we approached the glass room, we noticed everyone was in there. We stood on the other side of the glass, staring into the room as we noticed they were all sitting around the head nurse, Nurse Diane. She lifted her eyes to us, her eyes red-rimmed, her expression somber. She waved us in and the whole room turned to look at us.

Tanya pushed open the glass door and all the children turned around to look at us, their eyes red rimmed as well. I furrowed my brow as I stared back at them, confused. _What was going on?_

"Hi Tanya, Edward," Diane said as she rose to her feet.

"Hi," Tanya said, her voice laced with confusion.

"We have some bad news," Diane said as she glanced around the room. She looked back up at us and sighed. "Tyler was taken to heaven today by the angels," she said, her eyes tearing up again.

My heart stopped suddenly and my breathing hitched as I stepped backwards. My throat began to close and my eyes began to sting as I felt the tears. I was so taken aback by this news as I had seen him days ago and he seemed to be a healthy boy. He had asked me to play hide and seek with him and his friend, which I gladly did. I ran my hand through my hair nervously, unsure of what to say or how to react.

I looked up and saw that Tanya was talking to Diane and I saw my way out. I turned quickly, pulled the door open and ran out into the hallway. I didn't know where I was running but I kept running, pushing past two nurses who were standing in the hallway. I headed towards the lobby, noticing an empty waiting room and stopped quickly, heading into it.

I sat down on the couch in the middle of the room and stared at the TV that hung above the door. I watched the shapes on it as they moved about, unable to really focus on what was going on. I breathed in deeply, forcing the tears back as I thought about Tyler. He had the same type of leukemia that Emmilie had, and maybe that is why I had been so drawn to him. I wanted more than anything for him to pull through, to make me feel better about Emmilie, to prove my thoughts wrong about her dying. Unfortunately, Tyler never received a bone marrow transplant. He was in search of one and he hadn't come across one in the registery that matched him, so he waited.

I sat nervously on the couch as I fidgeted with my hands, unsure of how to proceed. I stared down into my lap and thought about what a craptastic day I was having. I heard someone at the door and I raised my eyes to see Tanya leaning against the door frame, her arms folded in front of her. She smiled at me and crossed the room, taking the seat next to me.

"Are you ok, Edward?" She said tilting her head to the side and looking at me.

"It's not fair, Tanya." was all I could manage. She nodded at me as she turned to face me, placing her bent leg on the couch in between us.

"Edward, are you thinking about Emmilie?" I bit my lip and nodded as I looked up at her.

"Any word yet about a donor?" I shook my head.

"It's been a couple weeks already," I muttered. "I don't get it, how can they not know yet?" I said balling my hands into fists.

"Edward, it takes time. They have to make sure that the tissue samples match exact to Emmilie's if you want it to work." She rested her hand on my knee and I looked down at it.

"I know you are right, but I feel so helpless," I confessed.

"Of course you do," she said gently rubbing my knee and that's when the tears started. They traced paths down my cheeks, lingering on my chin, then falling to my lap. I wiped them away quickly, slightly embarrassed for letting her see me cry.

"Oh Edward," she said pulling me into a hug. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her waist and pushed my head into her soft strawberry blonde hair. I inhaled deeply, the smell of her shampoo filling my nostrils. It wasn't the smell I had hoped for, the smell I remembered so clearly, the smell of Bella's hair. I shook the thought from my mind quickly, trying to forget her and I pulled back.

She stared at me a moment before she touched my cheek lightly and smiling. I couldn't help but smile back at her, grateful to have her around, grateful to have her understand my pain. She grabbed my hand and got to her feet and pulled gently.

"Where are we going?" I asked apprehensively.

"We are going to cheer you up," she said pulling again, this time harder and I got to my feet.

She led me out of the hospital and to the parking lot, stopping at her truck,. She pulled open the door and got in as I watched her, bewildered. She stepped out of the truck and laughed at me as I stood near the truck, my brow furrowed.

"Will you get in, silly?" She giggled. I headed to the passenger door and got in.

"Where are we going?" I asked again, but she just looked at me, her face beaming.

"I want to show you something."

We drove out of the parking lot as the sun set behind the mountains, the sky turned a beautiful bluish-orangish-pinkish color. I watched as we drove slowly towards the side of town that I had never been and pulled into a parking lot next to a large brick building. She got out of the truck, grabbing a black duffel bag that had sat in between us and I followed behind her to the double glass doors. She pulled it open and I noticed a woman, whom I had never seen before, standing behind a counter.

"Hi Gloria," Tanya said stopping in front of the counter. She was a tall thin woman, with blonde hair pulled tightly behind her head into a bun. She smiled at me as I stepped behind Tanya and I smiled back at her, still unsure of what was going on.

"I am taking room four," Tanya said perkily.

"Sure, Tanya," she said as she began to rummage through papers on the counter.

I followed her down a dark hallway, the faint sound of classical music radiating from a door as I passed. I was really confused at this point, and I ran my hands through my hair nervously. Tanya stopped in front of a door, turned to me and winked as she pushed open the large wooden door.

I stepped inside behind her and suddenly it all made sense. The room was lined with mirrors, two ballet bars stood near the back of the room on the wooden floor and a lone wooden chair sat in the corner, a boom box sitting on the floor next to it. The room was surprisingly bright, the lights reflecting off the many mirrors.

She held the door open and I stepped inside the room more, taking it all in. I had never been in a ballet studio, hell, I never knew one existed here in Forks. I walked into the middle of the room, turning in a circle as I looked into the mirrors and she laughed.

"Stay here. I will be right back," she said as she pulled the duffel bag up on her shoulder and closed the door behind her.

I headed over to the chair and lowered myself onto it slowly, still looking around the room. _Was she going to dance for me_? I laughed at my thoughts as I leaned back and tried to relax. I fidgeted with the zipper on my jacket when I heard the door creak open.

I looked up and I nearly gasped. Her hair was tied back the same way the other woman wore her hair. She was wearing a black leotard, white tights and black ballet slippers; She looked beautiful. She stepped gracefully towards me and crouched down in front of the boom box.

She put in a CD that had been sitting on top next to it and placed it in. The room immediately was filled with this slow piano music that instantly relaxed me. I watched her as she made her way to center of the room and turned to face me. She pushed up onto her toes and did a slow turn, her arms gracefully moving through the air.

I watched her, completely entranced by her slow fluid movements as she flitted about the room, turning and leaping elegantly. I had never watched anyone dance like this and it was beautiful. I watched her face as she danced, her face completely calm, her eyes focused on her next position and I could tell she loved dancing.

The song was coming to an end and she knelt on the floor, she closed her eyes as she slowly rose from the ground. She raised her hands high above her head as she stood straight up on her toes just as the song ended and held her position for a moment before I clapped loudly. She let her arms drop gently to her side before opening her eyes and smiling at me.

"Tanya, that was….that was beautiful," I said getting to my feet and meeting her half-way. She blushed and cursied in front of me and I laughed.

"Thank you," she said shyly as she brushed a few stray hairs back.

"How long have you been dancing?" I asked curiously.

"I have been dancing since I was ten. Irina wanted to dance so my parents made us go together. She wanted to be a ballerina when she grew up," she said, her face suddenly growing sad.

"She didn't get to do it so, I decided to do it for her," she said, trying to smile again, but I saw the sadness underneath it.

I pulled her into a tight hug, my attempt to comfort her. I saw it in her eyes as she spoke about Irina that she loved her sister. She didn't really talk about her much, but when she did I could tell how much she was hurting. She pulled back slowly and I looked into her eyes and smiled.

I stared into her eyes and for the first time I saw all the sadness she had been hiding. Tears filled her eyes and I watched one roll down her cheek. She smiled humorlessly as she pushed it from her cheek.

"I am sorry," she said blushing. " I don't usually cry about it. You caught me at the just the right moment." Another tear rolled down her cheek, and I pushed it away slowly as I stared deeply into her eyes. Our pain was one in the same. I cupped her cheeks in my hand and I could feel her shaking. She reached up and laid her hands on mine as I leaned in and kissed her lightly on her lips. I leaned back and looked at her, more tears falling down her cheeks.

"Oh please don't cry," I frowned as she pushed more tears from her cheeks.

"I will be ok." She grinned up at me and I pulled her in for another hug. I nuzzled into her hair and smiled to myself.

"Let's get going," I said into her hair as I hugged her. She pulled away from me, turned off the radio and I draped my arm over her shoulder as I led her towards the door where she picked up her bag from the floor and we left the studio.

-----

We pulled into the parking lot just as the sun was setting behind the hospital and we headed up to the familiar room where Emmilie stayed. Esme was there with her as usual, rocking her back and forth in the chair, reading to her quietly as we entered the room.

Emmilie saw us and she smiled weakly as she rested her head against Esme's chest. She had lost her hair since I had last laid eyes on her and I felt my stomach nearly drop to the floor. I knelt in front of her and she didn't move, she just blinked at me. She watched me as I sat there, staring up at her, her normally rosy cheeks, a chalky white color. I touched her bare foot gently and she smiled again, weakly reaching for my hand.

We sat in the room with Emmilie for awhile before I headed down to the lobby. I hated hospitals more than anything else, and I hated seeing Emmilie sick. I paced the lobby nervously, trying to clear my head from all the thoughts that floated around when Esme appeared from the elevator.

"I am going to pick up Emmett and Rosalie," she warned as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Carlisle told me," I said looking down at the tile floor. She nodded and headed towards the door.

I paced the lobby for a bit longer, before heading back up to the children's floor. Alice caught me as I exited the elevator and she stopped in front of me. She looked as if she had been crying so I grabbed her and wrapped her in my arms tightly. She sobbed quietly as I tried to comfort her, my own sadness threatening to flood out. _Be strong Edward, for Alice._

I heard the elevator doors open behind me and Alice squealed loudly in my ear as she struggled to get out of my grip. I looked at her confused but finally loosened my grip on her as she pushed me out of the way. I turned to see Jasper standing in front of the elevator doors. Alice jumped into his arms and planted short kisses all over his face and he chuckled.

"Oh Jazz," Alice squealed through her tears, "I missed you so much." She buried her face in his neck and whispered something.

I backed away, giving them their privacy, headed over to the nurse's station and leaned onto the counter. I watched as Jasper and Alice headed down the hallway and I stared out the window behind the nurse's station. The night was lit up with thousands of tiny lights from the city, homes and businesses that stood below the hospital. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and ran my hands through my hair nervously.

The thoughts were interrupted by a clicking noise from behind me and I turned around quickly to see Emmett and Rosalie standing in front of the elevator. I stared at Rose as I felt the anger burning in my stomach yet again but I tried to calm myself. Emmett closed the distance between us and hugged me firmly. I hadn't realized how much I had missed my older brother.

Alice appeared from around the corner, Emmett picked her tiny body up and brought her into a bear hug before she skipped over to Rosalie and hugged her as well. Emmett came back to me and slapped me on the back, nearly pushing me to the ground.

"You holding down the fort?" he joked.

"As best as one could hope," I said forcing a smile. I missed his jokes. He always had a way of calming down a situation.

Jasper then appeared and Rose ran to him and hugged him tightly. Esme stepped out from the elevator, motioned for us to follow her into the waiting room and I took a seat near the window nervously, trying not to look at Rosalie for fear I might say something unforgivable. We sat in the waiting room, the rest of them talking quickly as I sat a safe distance away, trying to catch up when Carlisle came in and took a seat next to Esme. He hugged her and then turned to look at us.

"Well they are ready for everyone," he sighed. "Who will go first?" he said looking around the room. Emmett stood up and Rosalie grabbed his arm.

"It's alright Rose, it's for Em," he said putting his finger under her chin so he could look into her eyes. "I will be fine" He leaned down and kissed her cheek and she watched as Emmett left the waiting room with Carlisle.

I turned to watch as Jasper took the now empty chair next to Rosalie as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders to comfort her. She started to cry and Alice got on her knees in front of her, grabbing her hands. She frowned up at Rosalie and I rolled my eyes. She was always so much drama, making everything about her. Poor Rose? Poor Rose? Poor Emmilie.

"This is entirely my fault," she wept. "I am a terrible person." I scoffed loudly at her. _Drama Queen_.

"This isn't your fault, Rose," Esme said quietly. I looked up at Esme, a look of forgiveness on her face as she looked back at me. Esme was the most understanding person I had ever met. I suddenly felt bad for Esme. I couldn't imagine what this was doing to her even though this wasn't her flesh and blood, Emmilie was still her daughter, just like she was mine. I suddenly felt guilty for mocking Rosalie. Esme was right, this wasn't her fault, she didn't give this to Emmilie.

"She is right," I heard myself say, and I looked up. That had shocked even me.

"What?" Rosalie said quietly as she raised her eyes to look into mine. I was tired of the fighting, the arguing. This wasn't about our differences, this was about Emmilie and I was being just as selfish as she was. I wouldn't stoop down to her level.

"As much as I despise you Rose and everything you have done to me, THIS isn't your fault. Emmilie being sick is no one's fault." She looked at me, just as surprised as I had been for saying it. She looked down at Alice and then back at me.

"Look Rose, don't expect this to be something that happens often, me sticking up for you. If anything you owe me a hell of a lot of apologizing," I said bluntly as I rose from my chair and headed towards the window. I looked out over the city once again, hoping that we could fix this and heal Emmilie.

After awhile, I sat back down in my chair, and watched as Jasper and Alice comforted Rosalie who soon fell asleep in Jasper's lap. Alice took the seat next to Jasper, and they talked for awhile, probably talking about college. My stomach growled and I headed down the hallway in search of a vending machine. I hadn't eaten in hours.

Carlisle appeared in the hallway and rested his hand on my shoulder as I stood in front of the vending machine, my arm leaned on it. I stared into the machine and nothing appeared appetizing. I sighed in frustration and Carlisle squeezed my shoulder. I hung my head and stared at the floor.

"If you want to go ahead and get it over with right now Edward, they can do it," he said softly. I turned to look at him, his face had suddenly looked older. I nodded as he lead me down a long hallway, the smell of bleach and disinfectant wafting up into my nostrils, and into a white room. A young nurse stood in the room at the counter and she smiled at us as we entered.

"He is ready to be tested," Carlisle said, placing his hand on my shoulder opposite him.

The nurse nodded at me and I followed her into another white room which smelled the same as the last.

"Alright Edward, I need to ask you a couple questions," she said taking a seat in front of me and pulling out a chart. "You might want to take a seat, this could be awhile."

-----

"A little bit more to the right. No, more. More. Perfect," Alice said as she stood back looking up at the tree. I had just finished hanging the star on top of the Christmas tree. Alice squealed with delight and clapped as I descended the ladder. I stood next to her and looked up at the tree.

Alice decided that she wanted to go big this year, considering Emmilie was going to come home, she wanted it to be great. Alice was always going big so it really wasn't anything different from any other party she had thrown. We had bought a nice, full tree, nearly ten feet tall and decorated it with what had to be hundreds of white lights scattered about the tree. She bought tons of silver ornaments and red bows that hung on the branches. It looked like a tree out of a catalog; It was beautiful with its bows, lights, bulbs and piles of presents that sat underneath it.

"We better hurry up with the food and decorations before they get here," she said looking pulling out her cell phone to check the time. "It's nearly one," she croaked and hurried off towards the kitchen.

I hung the garland and the stockings over the mantel while Alice finished with the food in the kitchen. I was growing a little excited myself, not having a Christmas like this in years will do that to a person. I leaned back and admired my work on the mantel piece, noticing one stocking had been missing. I climbed the stairs quickly, back towards the closet where all the Christmas stuff had been kept and rummaged through the boxes in search for the missing stocking.

I heard the front door open and I stopped as I listened to the family arrive. I smiled to myself as I hurried to find the stocking with no such luck. I heard a squeal and laughed, knowing it was Alice. I checked one last box and of course, found the missing stocking. I raced down the stairs, throwing the stocking into the living room and turned the corner excitedly.

I looked around at my family and then I noticed Rosalie, my smiled faded quickly. I couldn't help the involuntary action, it just sort of happened when she was around. I watched her whole body tense and I realized what I had done. I nodded at her and hugged Emmett as he pulled me into a bear hug, nearly crushing my ribs in the process.

I wasn't too enthused about having Rosalie back here but I had come to some sort of agreement with her that she would behave. She knew I meant business and I could tell by the look on her face.

The family gathered in the living room; everyone gaping at the wonderful tree. Esme gasped and I grinned at my accomplishment. I watched Rosalie as she headed back into the entryway and returned, rolling a suitcase behind her. She stopped in front of the tree, knelt in front of the suitcase, unzipping the top and pulling it open to reveal a bunch of colorful presents. She pulled them out one by one and placed them under the already full tree.

"Rose, dear, you really didn't have to do that," Esme said, resting her hand on Rosalie's shoulder. Rosalie looked up and smiled at her.

"I wanted to do something nice for everyone," she cheerfully.

Esme set Emmilie in her playpen and headed off towards the kitchen with Alice as everyone else settled into the living room. I took the chair near the window, my usual spot, and watched as Emmett picked Emmilie up out of her playpen and brought her to the couch. Rosalie sat down next to Emmett and I watched as they played with her. She wasn't her normal playful self, which made me grimace. She smiled as she sat in Emmett's lap, doll in hand. I watched Esme come from the kitchen and stop directly behind Rosalie and smile down at Emmilie. She looked up at Esme and smiled back.

Maaaaammuuhhh," she cooed at Esme.

"Oh, Carlisle, she knows who I am," Esme said clasping her hands to her mouth. Emmilie reached towards Esme and she picked her up, snuggling her into her chest. I looked down at Rosalie, and her face went pale. She looked down into her lap and I knew she had been hurt by that small gesture. She had just witnessed her daughters first word, Mama, to which she had just called someone else.

"Dinner is ready everyone," Esme said as she kissed Emmilie. Esme was beaming from having heard her daughter's first words. She looked at me and I grinned at her. I followed behind Esme into the kitchen and noticed Jasper pull Rosalie back into the living room. I stepped slowly towards the table and heard them whisper.

I took my seat next to Esme and Emmett as I watched her spoon rice into Emmilie's tiny mouth as Emmilie began to fuss. She pushed the spoon away from her mouth weakly as she rested her head against Esme's shoulder. She whimpered softly and her breathing became heavy and raspy. I sat nervously at the table, pushing my food around on my plate when I couldn't take it anymore. The sight of Emmilie looking so weak and frail was enough to make me lose my appetite.

I excused myself from the table, rose and turned to see Jasper coming into the kitchen alone. I furrowed my brow as I rounded the corner to the living room, spotting Rosalie leaning against the wall and wiping tears from her cheeks. I looked at her, trying to assess her mood and realized she was completely harmless. The gesture Emmilie had made pushed her over the edge and hopefully Jasper had knocked some sense into her, figuratively speaking.

I made my way to the door and down to the garage towards my car. I knew they had just gotten here but I needed to get out. Emmilie was getting weaker and so was my hope. I couldn't watch her be like that, it reminded me too much of how far she had come into this cancer and how she might not make it out.

I headed down the driveway towards the highway, making my way to the only place I knew I could go. A couple minutes later, I pulled into the hospital parking lot and parked my car near Tanya's as I headed into the lobby and towards the Children's ward. I saw her standing in the doorway of one of the rooms as I approached and I quickened my pace.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and she turned to look at me with a surprised look on her face. I grinned at her as I leaned over and kissed her cheek. She leaned into my kiss and turned to face me.

"Hey handsome," she said resting her hand on my chest. "I didn't expect to see you here tonight," she said leaning back. I looked down and she pushed my chin up with her hand.

"Hey," she said looking into my eyes, "Are you alright?"

"Emmilie came home." She smiled.

"Really? That is so great," she said throwing her arms around my neck. I pulled back and looked at her.

"No, Tanya, it's not great. She is so weak, she lost her hair, she hardly eats. It's so sad."

"Edward, you knew she would be like that," she said tilting her head to the side. "You see it here everyday."

"It's different when it's your daughter," I said harshly. She cringed and pulled out of my grasp.

"I am sorry, Edward," she said leaning against the wall.

"No, I am sorry, I didn't mean it like that," I said grabbing her hand in mine, squeezing gently. "I just wanted to talk about it."

We headed towards the recreational room and we talked while we watched some of the kids play with each other. I told her about my anxiety, about how Rose reacted when she saw Emmilie call Esme 'Mama' and the way I felt helpless when Emmilie cried. She comforted me, telling me stories about what she had done for his sister to calm her or one of the small children here.

I left a couple hours later and headed for home, a smile on my face. I loved talking to Tanya, she always had a way of putting my fears to rest. I parked my car in the garage and headed into the house to find Rose and Jasper had already gone. I made my way into the living room where the family was sitting, watching a movie. I sat in my usual spot and watched Emmilie. She smiled at me and my heart melted. She was going to make it, I would make sure to that.

-----

"I am sorry you had to come all this way," Tanya said as I slammed the hood of her truck down.

"It's not a big deal, Tanya," I said dusting my hands off. "Get in and I will drive you home." Her truck had broken down at the market and she had called me for help.

"Are you sure it's ok?" She pulled the two grocery bags from the cab of the truck and carried them to the car.

"It's not a big deal," I said getting into the car. "I can look at it tomorrow." She climbed in next to me and put the bags down on the seat in between us.

"You are too good to me, Edward," she said leaning over the seat and kissing my cheek. I grinned widely at her and started the car.

I began to pull out of the parking spot when I heard a sudden screeching of brakes and a honking noise. I slammed on my own brakes and I saw someone get out of the car behind me, hands balled into fists and walking towards my door. I suddenly felt anger rise in my chest and I pushed the door opened and came face to face with guy who couldn't have been much older than me. I hadn't recognized him but I looked him up and down as I assessed his height, weight and if he could kick my ass. We stood in the parking lot toe to toe, glaring back at each other.

"Dude, you nearly hit my girlfriend's car," he said through gritted teeth.

"Well if you would watch where you are going….DUDE!" I said haughtily as I leaned forward our noses nearly touching.

"It's not a big deal guys," Tanya said, now outside of the car. "No one was hurt."

"It's not a big deal, Ry…." I heard a voice call from behind me. I knew that voice well and my eyes grew wide as I turned slowly to see from where it came.

Standing at the passenger door, I saw the source. I stared for a moment, my mouth gaping open. I gulped down the lump that was in my throat and I started to shake. She stared back at me, just as speechless as I was.

"Bella?" I croaked.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN!!! Muwahaha! She has returned. That was a long time coming, wasn't it? Anyways, load me up with some reviews. I have another chapter that is just waiting to be posted. Yippy Skippy!**


	23. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

**A/N:I don't own them, blah blah.**

**The Chapter you have all been waiting so patiently for. Enjoy!**

**Bella**

"I need to pick up some groceries from the market." I said as I cracked my window, letting the cool air blow into the stuffy car.

"Are you going to make us dinner tonight?" Ryan smiled as he nudged me gently.

"I just might, if you are lucky," I said as I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Turn in right there," I said as I pointed to the market.

He pulled the car into the parking lot, skimming the aisles for an open spot as I leaned my head onto his shoulder. He grabbed my hand in his, lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently then suddenly he slammed on the breaks and yelled something I could not understand.

I turned forward to see a pewter car in front of us, which nearly backed into the front of my car. Ryan pursed his lips, yelled something again and threw the car in park as he pushed the door open and stomped to the driver side of the car ahead, his hands balled into fists. I closed my eyes and shook my head as the driver's door pushed open and someone stepped out.

I had never seen Ryan so angry and he was likely going to start a fight the way his temper was flaring right now. I covered my eyes with my hands, embarrassed he was throwing such a tantrum as I heard the two guys yelling at each other, but I was unable to hear what they were saying. I heard a woman's voice now and I sighed, knowing I had to get Ryan under control before something bad happened. I grabbed the door handle, fumbling to get the door to open and stepped out to yell at Ryan.

"It's not a big deal, Ry…." I froze instantly, my voice unable to finish the sentence. Edward turned towards me slowly and my hands flew over my mouth in shock. We stared back at each other for what felt like forever until he finally broke the silence.

"Bella?" He said in a hoarse voice. I hadn't heard his voice in so long and my knees nearly buckled at the sound of it. I looked back and forth between Ryan and Edward, unsure of what to do. I hadn't told Ryan anything about Edward and I sure was not about to do it now.

I turned to the girl that was standing on the other side of the car, her long reddish hair, flowing in the breeze, her bright blue eyes staring at me curiously. She was beautiful, not anything less than what I had expected from Edward. He had moved on as I had imagined he would. Of course, he would, why would he not? Had I expected him to sit here and mope about me?

I shook my head, tossing the thoughts away for later, and tried to focus on what was in front of me. I turned back to Edward and Ryan, unsure if my voice was willing to work yet or not so, I took a deep breath to steady my breathing before I spoke.

"Ryan, let's go please." I said quietly as I looked down on the ground.

"You know this guy?" He stepped back and pointed to him at which point Edward grunted.

"Yes, Ryan, can we please go? I am fine, the car is fine." Ryan sighed and walked slowly back to the car as I stood staring at Edward, who stood staring back at me. Ryan got into the car and closed his door, but I stood motionless behind mine.

"Bella," Edward said again, this time his voice softer as he took a step towards the car.

"Don't," I said as I put my hand out to stop him. I looked him up and down, noticing he hadn't changed one bit. He looked the same as the day I left. My knees began to shake and I shook my head as I ducked down into the car, slamming the door behind me.

"You know him?" Ryan said as he turned to me and I nodded.

"Please, can we talk about this later?" I bit my lip as I turned to look at him, begging him with my eyes.

Ryan pulled out of the parking lot leaving Edward standing in the parking lot next to his car. I, once again, watched in my rearview mirror as Edward got smaller and smaller in my mirror and I sighed when I finally couldn't see him anymore.

The ride back home was quiet and uncomfortably long and when we finally pulled against the curb, I let out a sigh of relief. I pushed my hair back out of my face nervously and I closed my eyes as I leaned my head back against the headrest.

"What was that all about?" He turned the car off and shifted in his seat towards me.

"Ryan, do we have to talk about this right now? It was nothing."

"Funny, that didn't look like nothing." He said defensively. I lifted my head slowly, opened my eyes and looked at him.

"It was nothing," I said, trying to reassure him.

"Bella…I hate the fact that you hide things from me. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Ryan."

"Then why don't you ever tell me about anything?"

"I told you, there is nothing to tell." He leaned forward and grabbed my hands in his. He held them for a moment as he stared into my eyes, brought them to his lips and kissed them gently.

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you." He stared into my eyes deeply as he spoke softly to me, my hands still at his lips.

"I know Ryan." I leaned my head to the side and smiled. I loved how much he made me feel safe and cared for. I knew where I stood with Ryan and that was something I loved about him.

He released my hands from his and we both got out of the car, making our way up to the front steps. Charlie and Megan were home and I was sure that she would be making dinner tonight and thank God for it because I was in no mood to do it.

As much as I hated to admit it, it was actually nice to have someone else around to do the chores. I hadn't cooked a meal since I got here but at the same time, I missed doing it for Charlie. He seemed so happy now, as if he didn't need me and maybe that was why I left in the first place. He hadn't needed me once Megan had come into the picture and it scared me. I didn't want to lose my father, too.

That night Charlie and I had a long drawn out discussion before dinner of the importance of being honest and open about things, especially with the whole marriage thing. He was upset with me for not telling him about Ryan sooner, and I was upset with him for hiding the marriage.

He had explained to me that they had kept the whole relationship a secret because the community looked down on a man my father's age to marry a woman so much younger than him. The people in this town were very old fashion and news really travels quickly around here.

They hadn't told anyone they had married and they had actually gone to Port Angeles to do it so no one would find out. It did not take long to figure it out once Megan moved in. No one dared say that directly to Charlie but there was talk around town and I had caught wind of it a couple times while in the stores around town when anyone saw me.

I felt bad for them both, having to keep their relationship hidden; I even empathized with Megan, having gone through the same situation myself with Edward for months. Megan and I really weren't so different after all and I decided I would ease up on her a little, but just a little.

I was surprised when Charlie had offered to let Ryan sleep on the couch as long as we met his conditions. I had to sleep in my room with the door closed and Ryan would sleep on the couch, no funny business. I rolled my eyes when he said that, he was always so paranoid and if he only knew it was not like that.

Megan had cooked dinner for us all that night and to thank her, Ryan and I had cleaned the kitchen up. I didn't mind it actually, as long as I didn't have to cook I was happy enough just doing the dishes and at least I had Ryan to help.

Ryan and I stood at the sin as Ryan washing the dishes then handed them to me to dry. We were laughing about something Charlie had said during dinner when the phone and I nearly dropped the plate I had been holding. I ran to the phone in the kitchen that hung on the wall and picked it up quickly.

"Hello?" I said as I finished drying my hands on the dishtowel as I positioned the phone between my shoulder and ear.

"Bella? Don't hang up, this is Rosalie." My breathing sped up as I heard the voice on the phone.

"We need to talk." I was speechless. Could this possibly be the worst day ever? I looked up at Ryan who smiled at me and I turned my back to him.

"Rosalie, I don't really have anything to say to you," I whispered, hoping Ryan wasn't listening. "How did you even know I was home?"

"Bella, please hear me out. I saw you earlier today driving and I knew I had to call you. I know what I did was…wrong. It was completely and utterly wrong. I know that and I am so sorry. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"That is super, thanks for calling," I said as I started to pull the phone away.

"Bella, please I am begging you." She shouted threw the phone and I stopped suddenly and stared back it. I sighed and pulled the phone back to my ear.

"Are you there?"

"Mhm." I mumbled, as I chewed nervously on my thumb.

"Just let me explain and after you have heard my story you still don't care, you will never hear from me again." I had never heard Rosalie beg and to be honest it seemed as though she thought it was beneath her.

"Go on," I said as I stretched the cord and stepped out into the laundry room.

"I…I don't really know where to start. I am not very good at this."

"It shows."

"I should have let Edward tell you about Emmilie. It was not my place. It was also…not right to sneak into his room." She stopped and I heard her sigh. "Bella. This is hard for me to say but I was jealous of you." I winced at her words, completely shocked.

"You were jealous of….of me?" The person who had everything was jealous of little old me?

"Yes. Edward loved you. I was jealous that you had managed to break down his wall, the wall I never could. I just…didn't realize there was nothing I could do to change his mind; he was already in love with you. You intimidated me, Bella. You had something I didn't and I thought that if I could make him be with me just once, I would have it too."

"Rosalie you have everything that anyone could ever want and the one thing I had you coveted most? That is why you snuck into his room?"

"Yes. It may not make sense to you but it's the truth."

"It doesn't make sense to me, you are right. You already had him Rosalie, how else would you have a child together?"

"It was…an accident. We were both very drunk and the next thing you know…I woke up half-naked remembering that I was with him in my bed the night before. He said he needed to lie down so I brought him into my room and he nearly passed out and…." I felt like vomiting at the thought of them together.

"So you basically took advantage of him when he was drunk," I hissed.

"Not in so many words….yes, basically." She finally admitted.

"It still doesn't change the fact he hid it from me for months. You are right Rosalie, you are a terrible person and I do not think I could ever forgive you for doing something so hateful. I liked you and I, sometimes, wished I were you. You had everything anyone could ever hope to have and you still had to take the one thing away I had. Now I just pity you for being a self-absorbed bitch."

"I know I am sorry and there is nothing I can say that will ever make it better I just thought you deserved to know the truth. It wasn't his fault, he loved you Bella and he told me this many times when I had tried before."

"What? You tried before?" She sighed heavily and I thought she wasn't going to continue.

"Yes, a couple of different times. There was a couple times at the house and then when we went camping."

"That was you and Edward that night wasn't it? You were two were talking loudly and I told you guys to be quiet." My anger rose into my chest, my breathing heavy. I felt my face get hot and I pursed my lips.

"Yes, he told me…." she stopped and scoffed loudly, "he told me that it didn't matter what I did because I would never be you." I froze suddenly, feeling all the blood rush from my face.

"Why are you telling me all of this? Did he put you up to this?"

"He doesn't even know I am calling you and if he did, I am sure he would be upset. He threatened to tell Emmett about us. Emmett still doesn't know and if he did, he would be so heart broken."

"Emmett has a right to know what kind of person you are," I spat.

"I know but he is all I have left and with Emmilie being sick, I can't lose him. I love him, Bella; it just took all of this for me to realize what I had been doing."

"What do you mean she is sick?

"Emmilie has Leukemia. It was not too long after you left we found out. She has been in the hospital for months getting chemo and Edward blames himself as usual. It's not his fault, it's no one's fault she is sick, but it is my fault he is dealing with this alone."

"It is his fault he is dealing with this alone, you just helped him. He is just at fault for this as you are. I am very sorry to hear about Emmilie, Rosalie; no one deserves to go through that, no matter how horrible they are." She said nothing for a moment and I thought she had hung up.

"Edward needs you Bella and if I have learned anything from Emmilie being sick it's that we need to stick together. This is my fault and I am so very, very sorry but don't punish him."

"He should have thought about that before he lied to me and he really didn't look like he needed me when I saw him earlier today. Rosalie, I appreciate you calling me to tell me the truth and I am very sorry to hear about Emmilie. Thank you for the apology and thanks for calling," I said as I stepped back into the kitchen and slammed the received down with a loud thud.

Ryan stood in front of the sink, a perplexed look on his face. I smiled happily at him as I made my way back over to the sink to finish helping him with the dishes. He handed me a dish to dry and I took it without a word but he just stared at me.

"Anything wrong?" he smiled

"Not a thing," I smiled back at him as we continued to wash the dishes together.

I lay in bed that night, the afternoon playing over in my head. I tried to shake it but I kept seeing him, standing in the middle of the road, the look of surprise on his face. I knew I shouldn't care that he had been with a girl but I did and it bothered me that I did. I had moved on, Ryan was a great person, and he had never treated me badly. He was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, so why was I lying in bed thinking about Edward?

I rolled over onto my side and ran my hands down my face in frustration. I had been fine before I had come here, I knew how I felt about Ryan and I knew how I had felt about Edward but now….now I was having second thoughts. I had to remind myself of why I had left in the first place and I huffed loudly. He had lied and cheated and broke my heart, and here I was thinking about him. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I pulled my pillow down over my head, breathing in deeply. I was frustrated and confused.

If Rosalie was right, if she was telling the truth, then he had been pushing her away from the beginning. I sobbed softly and closed my eyes as I pictured his face. I cared so much about Ryan and all I could think about Edward. Did I still love Edward? I squeezed my eyes shut, bit my lip in frustration and forced the thought from my mind. It didn't matter if I did still love him, love didn't fix everything, and it didn't fix the gaping hole that was in my heart or my confusion.

-----

I took a deep breath as I slowly dialed the numbers on the keypad and waited for it to ring. I listened to the silence in the house, the only noise coming from the running water in the bathroom. The phone rang once, twice, three times and when I was about to hang up someone answered.

"Hello?"

"Alice?" I nearly whispered into the phone. I heard a squeal and I smiled immediately. I closed my eyes tightly as I felt the tears beginning to well in my eyes. I had missed that sound so much.

"Bella!" She hissed into the phone quietly and I heard her run. "Where the hell have you been?" I heard a door shut behind her.

"You know…here and there," I joked but there was only silence on her end.

"I am serious. Why has it taken you so long to call me?" She whined.

"I am sorry Alice, I just had to get out of my own head for awhile," I said listening to the water in the shower still running.

"I wanted to tell you, I am home on vacation." I whispered.

"Vacation? You mean you aren't staying?" I could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Alice…it's complicated. I just…"

"Bella, this is your home," She pouted.

"I know but Alice, you should see California. It's beautiful and sunny, the people are different, and oh there are so many people."

"Are you really going to let one idiot run you from your own home?" She said as she ignored my comments.

"I am not running from anything," I protested.

"Then why did you move to California? Why have you not bothered to call me?" She was right, I had abandoned her, I had moved to get away from Edward, the hurt and the pain but I had also left her. Moreover, Charlie, I had left Charlie.

"I am sorry Alice," I said quietly.

"I know why you ran but you ran when I needed you most. There has been so much going on around here Bella. Emmilie is sick." I hung my head in shame and nodded.

"I know, Alice, Rosalie called me and told me about her."

"Rosalie called you?" She said surprised.

"Yeah, she apologized to me about all the crap she had done and gave me some sob story about how he needs me. He looks just fine if you ask me," I snorted.

"You…you saw him?"

"Let's just say I ran into him at the market with his new girlfriend."

"Tanya," she breathed out.

"So the beautiful one has a name," I chuckled.

"Look, that isn't serious between them. I hate to admit it though; she has to be the most perfect person in the world. She is pretty, isn't she?" She sighed. " Of course, she would be, she was dating Ed….him.

"Gee thanks Alice. What a way to make me feel better. Anyways, it doesn't matter, we have both moved on. I have Ryan and he has…Tanya." I said her name with such disgust I almost gagged.

"You just think you have moved on," she laughed, but I didn't find it funny. "You really should talk to him, Bella. He has been through a lot these past couple months and…"

"Alice, please spare me the guilt trip. I understand he is your cousin but my god, he lied to me. Hell, he lied to you."

"Trust me, he is paying for it. He misses you like crazy; it is so obvious. Ever since Emmilie got sick, he has just been taking it really hard. It's like everything came crashing down on him."

"Alice, it's his fault. He made his bed, now lie in it," I pursed my lips together.

"How would you have felt if he would have just laid it all out on the table? He got his brother's girlfriend pregnant one stupid night, the baby now lives with his aunt and uncle and his baby's mother is still trying to seduce him. What would you have done if he would have told you all of this?"

"At least he wouldn't have lied! Did you know about this?"

"No, I didn't know anything about it until after you left. Edward threatened to tell Emmett and you should have seen what he did to her when you left. People make mistakes, big mistakes. You really should talk to him."

"No, I won't talk to him. I have nothing to say to him that I haven't already said, why go and bring up the past?"

"And here I thought you had gone and grown up on me," Alice snorted. "You might regret not hearing his side of the story, what would it hurt?"

"It will hurt me Alice, it will hurt a lot," I nearly yelled into the phone. "I don't want to think about it anymore, he hurt me and he doesn't deserve to be forgiven." The tears started to pool in my eyes and spill out over my cheeks.

"Whether or not you want to admit it, you still love Edward. You pretend its ok, but I see through it. I only want what's best for you but it's ultimately your decision I just hope you don't come to regret it someday." I heard the water stop and I turned towards the door quickly as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Alice, I've got to go, I will call you later."

"Promise?" She whined.

"Promise." I hung the phone up and set the phone down on the bedside table.

I jumped quickly on the bed, yanked my book from its place on the table and hurriedly pushed the pages open. I read over a couple paragraphs but the words were not making sense. I was distracted once again, distracted by Alice's insistence of us talking. I knew talking to him wouldn't fix the past, the pain was still there and still as fresh as the day it happened. The past still haunted me, the memory of Edward never faded from my mind nor did his impression on my heart.

I knew that it would do no good seeing him again; I knew I still loved him but I could never go back to that life. I wanted a normal relationship, like the one I had with Ryan but I would never have that with Edward. Edward is not normal and a relationship with him will never be normal but maybe that was why I loved him, because he was different.

I heard a noise at the door and I looked up to see Ryan standing in the doorway already dressed for the day. He smiled at me as he came into the room, sitting at my feet as I sat in the corner of my bed, book in hand.

"You know Christmas is in a couple days," he sat as he patted my foot gently.

"I know," I said as I laid my book down in my lap, stretching my legs past him.

"Aren't you excited?" He grabbed my leg and shook it.

"Not really." I grumbled. He scooted towards me, a frown upon his face. He leaned forward and grabbed my face in his hands.

"What's wrong, beautiful?" He leaned forward, kissing the tip of my nose, which made me sigh and feel downright guilty for even thinking about Edward.

"Nothing, Ry. I guess I am just stressed out lately, I am sorry." I looked up into his eyes and he smiled.

"Don't apologize to me; I just want you to be happy. I cannot wait until you open your present. You are going to love it." His face lit up and I smiled at him. He was so incredibly cute and thoughtful.

"I can't wait either," I said as I forced a smile. I would be happy as soon as I left this place and was back in California with Ryan, far, far away from Edward and any thoughts I had of going back to him.

------

"Bella, its Christmas!" Ryan said loudly as he bounced on my bed, the room still dark. I stirred slowly in my bed, moaning as I rolled over.

"God, Ryan! You scared me. What time is it?" I yawned as I sat up in bed.

"It is…5:34." I groaned loudly and turned towards the window. The sun was nowhere in sight and it was still dark outside.

"Ryaaaannnn." I moaned.

"Come on, let's see what Santa brought us," he laughed as he tugged on my blanket; pulling it off me letting the cold air hit my legs. I shivered as I reached for the blanket to pull it back over me.

After several minutes of playing tug-a-war with my blanket, Ryan had me up and on my feet looking for my robe, which he found lying near the closet. He handed it to me and then led me by the hand out into the hallway. The house was still dark, only the Christmas lights that hung on the tree were on. The tree looked beautiful in the darkness of the living room, the ornaments reflecting the colorful lights that hung on the tree.

Ryan pulled me down the stairs as I stared down at it, a tired smile spread across my face. He led me to the tree and I knelt down in front of it and looked around at the piles of presents that surrounded it. It had been a long time since we had such a nice Christmas tree. Charlie really didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the holidays now that Mom was gone.

He went to the back of the tree, moving aside presents and a couple seconds later, knelt down in front of me a long black velvet box tied with a red bow in his hand. I looked up at him and he smiled at me as he held the box out to me. I stared at the box, unable to move and he pushed it towards me.

"Open it." I hesitated for a moment but I finally managed to reach for the box and hold it in my hand. I ran my fingers along the soft velvet of the box, anxious to open it.

We had only been dating a couple months but I hadn't realized it had gotten serious enough for jewelry. I rolled the box over nervously in my hand, wandering what was inside.

"Well, come on, open it." He urged again. I was afraid as I set it upright in my hand, staring at it. I reached for the lid slowly and pushing it back to reveal a silver bracelet. I gasped as I reached into the box and lifted it slowly out.

"Ryan…it's so pretty," I said as I turned it over in my hands.

"It's a charm bracelet. This one," he said pointing to a small silver mug, "this is a coffee cup. It represents the first time we met in the coffee shop."

"This one," he said pointing to a small silver motorcycle "is the first time we rode my motorcycle."

"This one," he said pointing to a small silver flower that resembled a rose, "this is for our first date in the rose garden." I felt the tears pool in my eyes as I remembered the beautiful garden dinner he planned. That had been one of the best nights of my life with the exception of one. The camping trip with the Cullen's was the one exception. No Edward thoughts today, I told myself.

"And this one," he said as he turned it to the last charm, to a silver heart. He lifted it up and turned it over to an inscription I could hard read in the dim light. I leaned down and realized it said 'I love you'. I looked up at him nervously.

"This is for the first time I told you I loved you," he said softly.

"You never told me that you loved me," I said as I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"I love you Bella," he said and I stared at him, my body stiff with shock.

The only person I had ever said I love you to besides my family was Edward. I wasn't sure if I loved Ryan or not. He stared at me, looking for an answer and all I could do was cry. I was confused and I needed a way out. He wrapped me in his arms, rocking me back and forth, as I cried. He kissed my forehead gently as he pulled back and smiled at me.

He must be mistaking my tears for happiness and that made me cry even harder. He buried his nose into my hair, and whispered something to me as he rocked me back and forth.

I heard a creak on the stairs and turned quickly to see Charlie and Megan coming down the stairs, Charlie rubbing his eyes sleepily. Ryan released me, rubbed my leg lovingly as I sighed quietly in relief at their perfect timing and I turned my back to them as I wiped my eyes of the tears.

"Morning you two," Charlie yawned as he sat down on the couch.

"Morning Dad," I said, keeping my back to him as I finished wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Megan went to start a pot of coffee and the rest of us waited by the tree for her. She returned to the living room with four mugs and we sat in front of the tree sipping our coffee as we unwrapping presents. We laughed at the sweaters that Megan's mother had knitted Charlie and me, Megan awed over the silver necklace Charlie had given her and Ryan opened the presents he had.

Since Ryan was coming with me for the holidays his mother had give him a couple presents to bring along to open up as well as the presents that Megan and I had bought him. I was surprised she had time to get him something but she had and I was very surprised, yet grateful.

We cleaned up the living room, clearing it of all the boxes and wrapping paper after we had lounged around for a while, talking. By the time we had finished cleaning the living room, the sun was up and my stomach was rumbling loudly. It was nearly 8 am by the time I finally plopped myself down on the floor next to Ryan, nearly exhausted.

"I'll fix some breakfast," Megan said as she headed towards the kitchen.

"I'll help you." Ryan smiled at me as he got up from his spot on the floor and followed behind her.

I got up from in front of the tree and sat down next to Charlie, leaning my head on his shoulder. He patted my cheek gently as he yawned and I smiled. I had really missed spending this kind of time with him and I remembered the Christmases we had when Mom was alive. We sat on the couch in silence for a couple minutes as we listened to Megan and Ryan as they prepared breakfast.

"That boyfriend of your's sure is something else," He said as he rubbed his eyes groggily, breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?" I raised my head to look up at him.

"He's a good kid." I smiled at his comment; it meant he liked Ryan, just not in so many words. I had been nervous about Charlie warming up to him, it took Charlie awhile to warm up to anyone but I really had no reason to be nervous. There was nothing to dislike about Ryan; he was nearly perfect.

I rolled the silver bracelet around in my hand thoughtlessly as Charlie looked down into my lap. He squinted curiously and I quickly slipped the bracelet into my robe pocket, hoping he had not seen it. I did not feel like explaining the gift or letting him see the words I love you engraved on the heart, that might cause some unnecessary questions and I really didn't feel like telling my father that I was still a virgin.

"Bella," Megan called to me from the kitchen and she appeared in the doorway, leaning up against the doorjamb.

"Yeah?" I said as I leaned forward.

"We are all out of eggs, would you mind running to the store to pick some up?"

"It's Christmas," I huffed. "I don't even think there is a store open right now."

"Yeah, there is only one store open in town; it's the small market on the other side of town." Charlie piped in as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.

"I guess so."

"Good thing it's not me," he teased but I just rolled my eyes.

I sighed as I got up slowly from the couch and made my way up the stairs to get dressed for my adventure to the store to get eggs for breakfast. I looked through clothes that littered the floor for something to wear and pulled on a pair of jeans and Ryan's long sleeve flannel shirt over my white tank top.

I made my way slowly down the stairs, the steps creaking as I walked down them towards the entryway where my rain boots were sitting. I pulled them on, grabbed my coat from the hook near the door, and started out the door.

I ran across the lawn towards the car, careful not to slip on the ice as the rain fell down onto the hood of my coat and dripped down into my face. The constant rain was making me miss California even more. I got into the car, started it and headed towards the market on the other side of town, staring ahead through the windshield, completely entranced by the sound of the windshield wipers as they pushed away the slush out of the way.

I past the road that lead to Alice's house and I groaned as I thought about the last time I had been at the Cullen's. It had been pouring down rain as I had run out of the house, tears streaming down my face. He had pounded loudly on my window, standing in the driveway wearing nothing but boxers as he was drenched by the rain.

It seemed like yesterday that I had left the house with him standing in the driveway. My throat tightened as I remembered walking in on Rosalie, half-naked as she sat on Edward in his bed. I shook my head as the tears began to form in my eyes, slightly blurring my vision as I stared ahead at the tree-lined street.

It had been months since I had let myself remember that night and for good reason, I still wasn't over it. Even with Rosalie's explanation, I felt betrayed by him. Why hadn't he known it wasn't I in his bed that night? Why had he hid the whole thing from me in the first place? If he hadn't cared for her, it shouldn't have been hard to just tell me about it. I thought about what Alice had said, about him telling me the truth and I tried to imagine what I would have done if he would have told me before.

I had no answer for that question except that I probably wouldn't have dated him if I had known. He would have just been "that" guy, the bad boy who gets in trouble, who parties too much and who sleeps around with his brother's love interest. He had been reckless and that was not something that was desirable.

When I met him, he had seemed like the sweet quiet guy. He had fixed my truck for me the first day we met, stayed in his room playing music at parties and had a sort of mysterious aura around him, which intrigued me. The mystery, no revealed, was anything but appeal.

The mystery had turned out to be a dirty secret, kept from everyone, including his family. He was ashamed. It was either because I caught him in a lie or because he did it in the first place. I guess you could say I was judging a book by its cover in saying I wouldn't have dated him and it was probably a good assumption.

I would have never gotten to know him if I had known what had happened and I grew even sadder. It didn't matter now because I did know him. He wasn't that guy; he wasn't the bad boy, the troubled kid or the partier. He was more than that and that was why I fell in love with him in the first place. Alice was right, people make mistakes and who was I to judge someone for something they had done before they met me?

I shook my head once again, trying to push the thoughts out of my head and reminding myself it was a no Edward thought day. Christmas was supposed to be happy not spent thinking of your ex-boyfriend while you were spending time with your current boyfriend. Somehow, that just didn't seem right.

I turned the car into the parking lot of the store, parked and ran in quickly to get out of the rain. The store was a small market, nothing fancy but it had your basic stuff, including the eggs, which I had come for. I had only been in the store a couple times so I walked slowly around in search for the eggs, which I realized; they kept on the back wall of refrigerators.

The store looked closed except for the open sign that hung on the door. I drug myself to the back, my boots squeaking on the dirty linoleum as I walked down the aisle, and looked up and down the long wall of refrigerators until I found the one with eggs. I looked through the glass at the egg cartons, unsure if she wanted half a dozen or a full dozen and decided that we ate enough eggs to get a full dozen.

I squeaked back to the register where a gray haired woman was standing, magazine in hand. She looked up as I approached and she smiled widely at me, a couple of her front teeth had been missing and I shuddered.

"Morning," she said, her breath reeking of cigarettes and coffee which nearly made me gag.

"Good Morning," I said as I sat the eggs down on the counter.

I shifted nervously as I waited for her to slowly ring up the eggs, bag them and take my money. My stomach growled again and I moaned internally at her slowness. I wanted to hurry up and get back so Megan could finish making breakfast.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she handed me the bag and my change and I pulled my hood over my head. I put my head down as I pushed the door open, ready to run to my car but my body had collide with someone in a dark coat and I dropped the bag of eggs.

"Damn it," I said as I bent down on the ground to pick the bag up when a hand picked it up and handed it to me.

"I am so sorry,"' I said as I grabbed the bag and looked up to apologize. The person was wearing a raincoat with the hood pulled up, completely covering their face.

"I didn't see you there," I said as I shielded my face from the rain, trying to see their face. The figured pushed back the hood and I gasped in shock. Edward was standing in front of me, staring back at me as the rain began to soak his golden hair.

I stepped back suddenly, wanting to run but my legs wouldn't move. I couldn't move as I stood in front of him watching his face shift into a frown. He said nothing, he only stared at me as my heart raced inside my chest and I took a deep breath, trying to think.

"Bella," He breathed.

"I've got to go," I said, ducked my head and pushed past him. He reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back as he turned around.

"Please talk to me, Bella."

"Let go of me Edward." I pulled my arm from his grip and I stepped back. "I have nothing to say to you," I backed away from him. My hood fell back across my head, the rain falling into my eyes and hair.

"Just…hear me out." He said over the rain.

"No," I took another step back and pushed my now wet hair out of my face.

"You never gave me a chance to explain." I stared at his face as tiny water droplets dripped from his eyelashes and off the tip of his perfect nose.

"There is nothing more to say or explain; it is what it is." I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm again.

"Damn it Bella, if there is one time to not be so stubborn, it's now."

"Don't you tell me what to do!" I yanked my arm again, but he held tightly to it.

"Not until you listen to me." He said firmly.

"What do you want from me Edward? It's over and that's that."

"It's over because you left," he said as he threw his hands up in the air.

"No," I said shoving my finger at him, "it's over because you lied."

"I know…." he said turning his back on me, "I lied, I know!" he yelled as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. I saw the gray haired woman appear in the window, staring out as us.

"I don't have time to help ease your guilty conscious."

"Damn it Bella, you have no idea about anything." He turned back to me and looked me in my eyes. "Yes, I lied to you about Emmilie but I had no idea that Carlisle and Esme were going to adopt her. I thought that part of my life was over." He wiped the water from his face and stepped towards me.

"I should have told you about Rosalie and I am sorry that I didn't but what did you expect me to say? I screwed up. I was young, drunk and irresponsible. I passed out in Rosalie's room. I was drunk and she took advantage of me. I made a freaking mistake and believe me I am paying for it in the worst way."

"Rosalie told me about Emmilie," I looked up at him and his face froze. "I am sorry about that."

"Rosalie…she called you?" He stammered and I nodded.

"She told me everything." He looked down at the ground and I watched the rain run down his hair.

"I love you Bella," he said quietly as he lifted his eyes to look at me.

"Don't Edward, it doesn't change anything," I turned and headed towards my car quickly and opened the door to get in. "It's over Edward."

"It's not over yet." His voice was right beside me.

I felt his hands on my arm suddenly and he swung me around, grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer to him, his lips crashing into mine. I held my breath as I tried to push away from him as my heart beat wildly in my chest. He closed his eyes as he held me tight, my fighting doing no good to loosen his grip.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him and to let him kiss me the way I once had but I couldn't let myself feel that way about him again no matter what my body felt. My head spun and I yelled at myself to do something, anything to break free from him. My eyes started to pool with tears as I pushed even harder to get out of his grip.

He pulled back, still holding me tight around the waist, and looked down into my face. I started to sob now as the rain poured down and lightning crashed far away. He pushed my hair back out of my face and I stood limply in his arms, my breathing short and ragged.

"Bella, I love you and that's never going to change." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat as I tried to stop the tears as we stood in the rain.

"It doesn't matter," I sobbed. "It just doesn't matter."

"Why? Why doesn't that matter?"

"Because you hurt me," I screamed at him as I beat my fists against his chest, trying to get away. "You lied to me, how could you love me if you lied to me?"

"I lied to you because you would have never seen the real me if I told you the truth."

"You don't know that!" I cried as I buried my face in my hands as he held me.

"I loved you the first time I saw you and I knew that if I told you, you would hate me just as much as everyone else that knew did. My own mother hates me, Bella. I am a disgrace to my family and myself." He hung his head.

"I can only imagine how you see me now. I made a very big mistake, which turned out to be the most wonderful gift. Emmilie has taught me a lot about myself. She has showed me how easy it is to love. I didn't know I could love someone so much but it is possible. I love you Bella and I refuse to just give up on that. If you don't feel the same way about me, fine, tell me you don't have feelings for me still and I will walk away." He let go of me and took a step back. I stared up at him, his face full of hurt as he waited for my response but all I gave was silence.

"Tell me you don't think about us."

"I don't," I said firmly, the tears still streaming down my face.

"Say it." He grabbed my face in his hands, gently shaking my head.

"I don't think about us, "I sobbed and he grabbed me around the waist again and pulled me into the sweetest kiss I have ever had. He held me tightly around the waist with one hand, the other cupping my cheek. I closed my eyes and sobbed as I felt my lips move out of their own accord against his.

My hands flew up into his hair, my fingers tangling themselves in his soft hair. My body couldn't lie to him as I pushed myself into him; the connection between our bodies was undeniable. I couldn't lie anymore, to him or to myself. I loved him and wanted him.

He kissed his way to my ear, stopping to push his face into my wet hair, inhaling deeply. I dug my fingers into his scalp as I pulled him closer to me and he gently caressed my hair. It felt like a huge dam had broken, the pressure of all the pent up emotions bursting out into one passionate gesture. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself as I felt his nose brush against my ear.

"I never stopped thinking about you, not for one day," he whispered into my ear.

I pushed my face into his neck, breathing his scent, the one I had missed. Nothing mattered to me at that moment and I knew I could no longer hold myself back from loving him.

"What about your girlfriend? I said as I pushed back from him.

"She wasn't my girlfriend. Tanya helped me with Emmilie. Her sister died from leukemia and she helped me understand many things. What about your boyfriend?"

I gasped as I suddenly remembered Ryan. Ryan was sitting at my house waiting for me to come back for breakfast. I pulled my wrist up and looked at the bracelet. Edward touched it gently as he studied it then looked back up at me. I still cared about Ryan and I couldn't hurt him, he was a good man.

"Do you love him?" He said nervously, fingering the silver heart. The thunder cracked loudly, I looked up at him, rain pouring down into my face, and I closed my eyes.

"I don't know," I stuttered. "He is a wonderful guy, Edward and he has treated me well. He loves me."

"But, do you love him?" I pushed back gently and he dropped his hands to his sides.

"I am sorry but I have to go," I said as I ducked into the driver's seat that was now soaked.

"Where are you going?" He said, stopping me from shutting the door.

"Home, I have to go back home."

"Are you going to leave me again?" His eyes saddened as he spoke.

"I…I don't know what I am going to do right now."

"I lost you once Bella and I am not sure if I can do it again." He dropped his hand from the door and I closed it, staring at him through the window as I fumbled to get the keys into the ignition. I pulled out of the parking lot as Edward stood in the rain once again, watching me as I left.

I pushed my wet hair back out of my face and turned the heater on full blast in hopes of drying some part of me. I shivered under my soaked clothes, feeling the weight of the bracelet on my wrist and I knew the weight might as well have been on my heart. I didn't want to hurt anyone; I cared for them both.

I pulled up against the curb, grabbed the eggs and raced across the lawn towards the front door. I pushed open the front door and I heard Christmas music blaring loudly in the house. Charlie came down the stairs, looking dressed and awake and he frowned at me when he noticed I was drenched.

"What happened to you?" he said laying his hand on my shoulder. "Where have you been?" He said taking the bag from my hands.

"I accidentally locked my keys in the car." I said as I pealed my coat off and set it on the hook where it proceeded to drip. Charlie opened the bag, lifted the lid of the egg carton and frowned.

"Bella, some of these eggs are broken."

"I dropped them on the way out of the store. I am sorry. Are they salvageable?" I said looking over the lid at the eggs. Only three had been broken badly.

He sighed as he closed the lid and carried them into the kitchen. I pushed off my boots with my toe, set them down near the coat closet, and headed up the stairs. Ryan walked into the entryway and shouted up at me.

"Where have you bee? Are you soaking wet? Are you ok?" He said as he made his way up the stairs towards me.

"I am fine," I said smiling at him," I just locked my keys in the car." He touched my face and kissed my lips gently.

"You know me, I am clumsy," I joked. "I am going to change and I'll be down in a bit." He nodded and headed back down the stairs as I made my way into the bathroom for a hot shower.

I stripped down and jumped into the shower, the warm water taking away the chill almost immediately. I leaned my head against the cool tiles as I cried into my hands. This whole vacation hadn't turned out the way I had planned. I loved Edward but I also cared about Ryan. I couldn't hurt Ryan, he was so good to me and he loved me.

I was going to be leaving in three days and I had to make up my mind soon. Would I go back to California with Ryan, Rachel and Rebecca and leave behind the person I loved or did I stay here in Forks with Edward and hurt the most wonderful person with whom I could have a happy and stable life? I had to make a choice and I had to make it soon.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So here is the moment everyone was waiting for. :) Sorry it took so long, I am a busy girl now that school has started. I hope it was worth the long wait. Send me some love and reviews! Love you all! I also started another story called Dancing to the Beat of a Different Drum. Check it out!**

**~J**


	24. Inaccuracies

**A/N:I don't own the characters....**

**Edward**

I was not exactly sure how I had planned to confront her but scaring her to death at a supermarket was not exactly the way I had envisioned it. In my mind, our talk would have gone over much smoother; she would have accepted my apology, confessed her undying love for me, wrapped me in her arms and kissed me vigorously, as she had done so many times before. I rolled my eyes at my own foolishness, whom was I kidding?

As if to add insult to injury the old woman in the store stood at the window and watched us fight. If that was not embarrassing enough, Bella had left me again standing in the rain while she drove off. I was not sure how many times I could watch her leave me but it was not getting any easier.

I wanted her to stay, I wanted her to pick me, and I needed her to pick me. It had been so long since I had seen her, smelled her, touched her and it ached to be away from her. I thought I could move on but I now realized how wrong I was. I could not do this without her and I was not sure what I would do if she did not choose me. How did I make her choose me?

An apology was not going to win her back, especially if she had already moved on and dated some perfectly tan chump from California with perfect hair and a perfect body. Whatever, I bet he could not do anything special, like play guitar or sing. I sighed to myself for getting macho and competitive. I was not sure if this was a competition, but it sure felt like one.

I suppose it was a competition but how do I win her back? It was my fault she had met him. I had run her to California where she had met him, the stereotypical California boy who had apparently swept her off her feet. He loved her and I was almost sure she loved him too; the look on her face said it all.

My stomach began to churn as I thought about him holding her as I once had, kissing her sweet pink lips, caressing her delicious smelling brown hair and looking into her dark eyes that burned with desire every time I looked into them. Now they just burned with desire for him, not me.

I leaned my head against the steering wheel as nausea raked over me. My lips still tingled from our kiss and I raised my hand to touch them, remembering how her lips felt on mine. It was heaven or at least the closest I could come to it. She had not changed since she left, she smelled the same and she even tasted the same and it made my whole body ache as I thought about touching her again.

I was a bit surprised at my own aggressiveness as I had kissed her but she was being exceptionally stubborn and I was exceptionally impatient. Waiting months on end to see her again had worn my patience thin and I refused to let her walk away from me without hearing me out. She had to hear the story and she had to hear it from me.

I pulled out of the parking lot quickly, milk and diapers in hand as I sped down the street towards the house, hoping to get there before anyone sent out a search party on my behalf. My disappearance was hardly notice and I was glad.

The smell of the turkey Esme had put on for dinner and the sounds of old Christmas songs immediately greeted me as I stepped into the house. I set the bag down on the floor, yanked off my wet coat, throwing it to the side and tip toed up the stairs to my room to change into something dry.

Once changed, I made my way back down the stairs to the living room, the sounds of Christmas bouncing off the vaulted ceilings. Christmas was always a big deal in my family but this year it just did not feel like Christmas. I drifted into the living room; bag in hand, as I made my way to Esme who was standing near the tree. She took the bag, smiled and made her way to the kitchen silently.

Alice was sitting on the couch with Emmilie who she had dressed in a pretty red velvet Christmas dress with lace around the collar and waist and a pair of red leather Mary Jane shoes to match. I smiled at the sight of her tiny face as she sat in Alice's lap quietly sucking her thumb as she watched me sit down next to them.

She was still too weak to do much but I was glad she was well enough to leave the hospital. A red scarf covered her head where her curly hair used to be and her rosy cheeks were pale. She was too young to be that sick and I was guilt-ridden because of it.

She reminded me so much of her mother, her blue eyes and her tiny face, an identical replica of Rosalie's. The only thing that had even resembled me was the dark hair, which was now gone. I had not seen Rosalie in the recent days since she had been avoiding the house and I had finally figured out why; she had called Bella.

It was not necessarily a bad thing that she had called Bella to tell her the truth. In fact, I was grateful that she had done so. Perhaps Rosalie was growing up and seeing how childish and selfish she was being. Perhaps she had finally understood that I really did love only Bella.

"I wonder when Jazz is going to come over," Alice pouted, interrupting my thoughts.

"Haven't you called him today?" I said as I stared at the beautiful tree.

"No, not today, he is spending time with his family. I did text him this morning but he never answered." She turned to look at me when I did not answer as I continued to stare thoughtlessly at the tree.

"Are you alright, Edward?" She said as she slowly leaned forward to get my attention.

"Yeah….No…I don't know." I mused for a moment as I watched Emmett pull the presents from under the tree.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I got an early Christmas present this morning; well I guess you could call it that." I turned to her and she arched her eyebrow in curiosity.

"Well, do share."

"I ran into Bella at the store this morning." Her eyes widened to the size of small saucers, her mouth gaped open and she gasped.

"What? You saw Bella? Unbelievable. What happened? Tell me EVERYTHING!" She squealed and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, who were arranging the present, turned around to stare at us. I chuckled nervously and they turned back around to continue what they were doing.

"Shh, quiet Alice," I said quietly out of the corner of my mouth.

"So tell me then," she said anxiously.

"We…talked…well not so much talked, more like yelled. She said she had nothing to say, I told her I loved her, we kissed and…"

"Wait wait, you kissed? Are you guys getting back together?" She said through her teeth as she leaned forward, a squeal threatening to escape. I gave her a warning look and she sat back against the couch, trying to calm herself.

"I think she loves him, Alice," I said sadly, as I looked down onto my chest, the guitar pick necklace she had given me for my birthday dangled against my gray shirt.

"I think she loves you, Edward," Alice said softly as she leaned forward again, holding Emmilie's little head against her chest.

"She might but I have hurt her Alice, he hasn't. I could see it in her eyes she loved him. She's going to go back with him, you know."

"Oh please, she may love him but she loves you more. Why would she run away to California and stay away for so long? She can't stand to be around you."

"God, Alice, thanks so much. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." She laughed and shook her head.

"That's not what I mean. She cannot stand to be around you because she loves you and her head tells her not to but her heart says something completely different. I've seen the way she looks at you and that is love." She looked up at the ceiling out of the corner of her eye and sighed.

"It's kind of like the way I look at Jazz, its unadulterated love."

"You don't even know what you are talking about Alice."

"I do too. I know Bella, better than she knows herself. That girl is pining over you like no other and if you think otherwise, you are naive. You do not go so far as to move out of state to avoid a guy who you think cheated on you. She loves you and you hurt her, so she had to get as far away from you as possible. She cannot stand to be near someone she loves so much and she cannot be around. I know these things."

"And how do you know this, oh enlightened one?" I questioned her.

"I read a lot of Cosmo ok?" I laughed loudly and she giggled. "It has a lot of good articles. Don't laugh," she said as she gently pushed my knee with her foot.

"Those magazines are a bunch of crap and nothing in them ever works." I rolled my eyes and she scowled.

"They do, too! How do you think I got Jazz?" She winked.

"You got him drunk?" I chuckled and she pushed me again, this time harder.

"Not funny, Edward. You think I am wrong but you will see. Be stubborn about it but I am right, I always am."

Her cell phone, which was sitting on the back of the couch, vibrated and she nearly jumped at it. She grabbed it quickly, flipped the phone open and read the message that had come through. I watched her face as a smile crept up at the corners of her mouth and her face reddened slightly. It must have been Jasper.

"Jazz said they will be over for dinner tonight," she beamed.

"At least you get to be with the one you love tonight," I pouted.

"No offense Edward, but if I was Bella, I would tell you to man up." I turned to her, a look of confusion on my face.

"Well, I mean come on, show her you love her. Show her you are a better man than the one she already has. What happened to fighting for what you want?"

"I'm not going to force her to be with me, Alice." I shook my head.

"I didn't say force her to be with you, just convince her you are the man for her, convince her you are the better of the two. Convince her that you love her more."

"And how the hell do you expect me to pull that off?" I said as I shifted nervously on the couch. She got up slowly from the couch, Emmilie still asleep in her arms and she headed for Esme, handing her the baby. She turned back to me, holding out her hand and I stared at it.

"Come with me, we have some work to do," she said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs.

-------

By the time, Esme had called us down for dinner, my eyes were tired from reading and my brain ached from all the random information that I just shoved in it. Alice had taken me up to her room, reading dozens of magazines to find how to handle a situation such as mine. Obviously there was not one that was anywhere near my dilemma as I could not imagine another idiot getting into a similar situation. Mine was definitely unique and I highly doubted anyone else would have published it if his or her story were similar.

I followed Alice down the stairs just as the front door rang and I knew exactly who it was. She squealed loudly as she picked up speed and headed in the direction of the door while I turned to the kitchen where Esme was standing at the stove.

"Did you need any help Esme?" I said as I leaned against the island. She turned to me and smiled brightly.

"Oh, no dear, thank you for asking. I am just about done. If you could just call everyone in though that would be great."

I headed into the living room to see that Jasper and Rosalie had now joined us and Rosalie stared at me awkwardly. If I didn't know better, she looked like she was waiting for me to yell at her. I smiled at her and then looked around the room at everyone who was smiling happily and talking to each other.

"It's time for dinner," I said loudly over the music and everyone turned to look at me, the noise stopping immediately.

The group hustled into the kitchen and they all took seats around the neatly decorated table Esme had single handedly decorated. She had a beautiful flower centerpiece in the middle of the table, glass stemware scattered about the table along with the fine china and silver as well.

She carried in the large turkey, set it down on the table, stood back and sighed. It smelled wonderful and everyone applauded. The food looked and smelled delicious and my stomach rumbled loudly. Esme sat down next to Carlisle and we all bowed our heads for grace.

Emmett, of course, was the first person to get his food and we all laughed as he began to shovel bits into his mouth before anyone else had a scrap of food on their plate. I had to admit I had missed his sense of humor and constant need for food, which I was not sure, was possible.

"Do did everyone get what they wanted from Santa?" Esme chuckled as she put pieces of turkey onto Emmilie's high chair tray.

"I certainly did," Carlisle said as he rested his hand on Esme's hand. "I have my family here and we are all happy." He smiled at us all.

We sat around the table, eating, talking and laughing about all the gifts we had opened earlier. It had been so long since we had all sat down as a family and actually enjoyed each other's company without any tension. I relaxed into my seat and ate my meal slowly, reveling in this moment.

After dinner and we had all said our goodnights, I headed upstairs, full from the wonderful dinner and content with the day's events. I had told Bella my side of the story and had a great dinner with my family with no weirdness. Alice was right about me fighting for Bella because the first time all I had done was let her go, this time it would not be so easy for her.

I changed for bed, crawled underneath the warm comforter and watched the rain outside drip down the window. I sighed at the rain, wishing it would stop. Ever since she left, it seemed to rain even more than it had before. She took the sunshine with her when she left.

I leaned back against the soft pillows, thinking of ways get her to stay, to realize I was the right one for her and that I would make her happy. I was on a borrowed time and I estimated I had about four days to convince her before she left back to California with him. I would need help and tomorrow I would enlist Alice to help me. I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me this time, nothing.

------

I woke early the next day to the sun shining brightly through the windows, something it had not done in what seemed like months. I smiled as I rose quickly out of bed, grabbed my towel and headed towards the shower down the hall for a quick shower. I had to get an early start because I was on a time constraint and I had to do everything quicker than usual.

After my shower, I ran to my room quickly to change and then headed to Alice's room to wake her up. I tapped on her door lightly and when she did not answer, I cracked the door, peering inside the darkened room.

I saw her lying on her large bed, a blindfold over her eyes as she sprawled across the whole bed, taking up every inch of it. I groaned loudly as she rolled over and I pushed the door open further and stepped inside.

"Alice," I whispered loudly at her but she just moaned.

"Wake up, Alice," I stepped closer to her bed until I was standing at the foot of her bed as she turned over again.

"Noooo," she mumbled as I shook her foot gently.

"Come on Alice, I need your help, I only have a couple days." She shook my hand off her foot and pushed her face into the pillows. She hit the pillow with her fist, rolled over and sat up, pushing her blindfold back before giving me a dirty look.

"What is so damn important you are waking me up at…" she turned to look at her clock on the table, "eight am? It's eight am?" She threw herself back onto the pillows.

"I need to get Bella back." She shot up quickly and stared back at me.

"Well…" she sighed, "let's get this show on the road them." She threw her legs over the side of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

I knew this was going to be awhile so I made my way downstairs when I heard someone in the kitchen. I turned into the kitchen to see Esme standing at the stove, Carlisle standing behind her with his arm wrapped around her waist, his head lying on her shoulder. When I stepped in, Carlisle turned immediately towards me, smiled and stepped back from Esme.

"Good morning Edward," Carlisle said as he leaned back against the counter.

"Good Morning, sweetheart," Esme said turning over her shoulder, throwing me a smile.

"Morning," I said as I took a seat at the island.

"You are up early," Carlisle turned to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, well Alice and I have some stuff to do." I said as I leaned forward on my elbows.

"Alice is getting up this early?" Esme asked as she flipped a piece of French toast in the pan. She chuckled as she looked at Carlisle who chuckled back at her.

"Shopping," I stated simply and they both nodded.

"Are you hungry, dear?" Esme said as she set a piece of toast onto a plate.

"Oh, no thanks…"

Alice appeared in the doorway yawning and we all turned to her as she made her way to the island to sit next to me. She jumped into the chair and leaned her head forward onto the countertop. I nudged her but she just groaned and we all laughed.

"Would you like something to eat my dear?" Esme said as she touched Alice's arm.

"Yes," She said into her arms. Esme grabbed the plate of French toast and bacon and set it down in front of Alice.

She inhaled deeply and raised her head to look at the food that sat in front of her. She smiled wildly as she pulled it towards her, cutting into a piece and slowly pushing it into her mouth. I rolled my eyes and waited for her to finish her food when Carlisle's cell phone rang. He looked surprised as he reached for his phone that was clipped to his belt and looked at the number.

"It's Dr. Pendergrass," he said as he flipped it over and put it to his ear. "This is Dr. Cullen." He nodded a couple times, listened intently and then he suddenly looked at me, a worried look on his face.

"I don't understand," he said shifting nervously and continued to listen. "Well, alright, well we can be there in a couple hours. Thank you for calling." He closed the phone, set it back on the clip, and looked at me.

"Is everything ok?" I said as I sat back in the chair.

"It's about Emmilie. We need to get to Seattle; Dr. Pendergrass has some stuff she needs to go over with us. We need to get Rosalie and get up there, immediately."

I was suddenly nervous, even scared as I watched his face which was full of uncertainty. Did she find something about Emmilie? Was Emmilie going to be ok? I stared at Esme for a moment who was confused and Carlisle took her by the hand and led her out of the room.

"Come on, let's get going," Carlisle called from the living room.

Alice quickly finished her breakfast and set the plate down in the sink before running out of the room. I sat in the chair quietly and sighed. I was unsure of what to do, unsure of what the rush was all about and a million thoughts ran through my head, thoughts that were not good.

I made my way into the living room just as Esme was coming down the stairs with Emmilie curled up in her arms and her diaper bag hanging off her shoulder. Emmett followed behind her, a befuddled look on his face as he jumped down the last three steps and landing right behind Esme.

Carlisle hurried down the stairs, his doctor bag in hand, and he stopped in front of me as I leaned against the wall. He looked at me for a brief moment before turning away to Esme. Alice sat in the chair near the door, her chin resting in her hands, her elbows on her knees. She looked up at us as she bit her lip nervously.

"Where are we going?" Emmett said as he scratched the back of his head and looked around the room at us.

"We are going up to Seattle at Dr. Pendergrass' request. She has some things she needs to go over with us. Jasper and Rosalie will meet us up there as well as I have already called them."

Carlisle led us out of the house and into the cool crisp air of the winter morning, the sun still hiding behind the clouds. I followed behind everyone else, shoving my hands into my pockets and watched my warm breath creep from my lips and form a haze in front of me.

Carlisle led us towards the Mercedes, grabbed Emmilie's car seat from Esme's car, and placed it in the back seat. Esme carefully put Emmilie into the backseat, strapped her in and crawled in next to her.

"Emmett and Edward, you take the Hummer, Alice you come with us," Carlisle said as he opened the cabinet on the wall, pulled the keys from it and tossed it over the car towards Emmett.

The car ride was long and boring and by the time we arrived, it was after lunch. My stomach growled loudly and I soon regretted not eating back at the house. I tried to push away my hunger while we ran through the rain to the lobby doors. I sighed as I stepped over the threshold into the hospital, the smell of sterilizer and bleach wafting up into my nostril. I suddenly felt nauseas as we crossed the lobby towards the elevator.

Esme cuddled Emmilie into her chest as she whined quietly. We did not bother to wait for Jasper and Rosalie in the lobby but Alice desperately pressed on the keys of her cell phone, trying to get a hold of him.

The elevator doors open after what seemed like forever and we all piled out into the children's ward. A nurse standing at the counter, whom I had immediately recognized as one of Emmilie's nurses, smiled at us as we all headed in the direction of Dr. Pendergrass' office.

I held my breath as we passed the rooms, hoping not to smell the horrid stench of sterility. I despised this place with a passion. It was my own personal hell; one I had condemned myself to out of pure guilt, a constant reminder of my actions and the consequences for them.

Emmilie whimpered into Esme's shoulder and I watcher her as she peaked her head over it and looked at me with sad eyes. If anything could make this place worse, it was that look, the look of desperation. She hated this place as much as I did and I would give anything to get her out of here.

We stopped in front of Dr. Pendergrass' door and Carlisle knocked softly and then opened it slowly. He stepped inside, held his hand up to us, signaling for us to wait and then closed the door behind him. I sighed heavily as I leaned against the wall, accidentally inhaling the smell again. I coughed nervously and held my breath as I looked around the hall.

I had lost my appetite at this point as we stood in the hall, waiting for Carlisle to reappear. I heard a faint clicking of shoes on the white linoleum floor and I looked up to see Jasper, followed by Rosalie, walking quickly towards us.

Jasper immediately wrapped Alice into a warm hug, kissing her hair and whispering something into her ear. She clawed at his back in efforts to bring him even closer and he cradled her in his arms, soothing her.

Rosalie quickened her pace and Emmett scooped her up, lifting her from the floor and kissing her lips. He gently caressed her hair while looking down into her face which was ridden with panic. I wondered how Emmett had never noticed how upset Rosalie always was over Emmilie. To me, it was not a normal reaction, but then again, Emmett was not normal and there was nothing Rosalie could do that would make him think twice about the way he felt about her. He loved her, unconditionally.

My heart began to ache as I watched the couples hug and kiss each other in their time of need. I wanted Bella to be here with me so I could hug her and kiss her as well. I needed the comfort of another person but not just any person. She was the only one that knew how to calm yet quicken my racing heart all at the same time.

Carlisle finally stepped out of the room, his face white as a ghost and he looked around at us, noticing that Rosalie and Jasper had joined us. He sighed quietly and forced a smile on his face as he led us down the hall to the waiting room.

My hands started to sweat as we walked down the long corridor towards the waiting room, which I nearly called home since I had been in there so much. The room was empty as usual and I took my normal spot near the window. I sat down heavily, the legs of the chair screeching along the floor as I turned to look out the window.

"So the Dr. Pendergrass wants to go over some of the test results, namely Edward's and Emmett's results." Carlisle looked back and forth between the two of us and I stopped breathing. Something must be wrong with my sample; maybe I matched, maybe Emmett matched.

Carlisle nodded to me and I stood up slowly, afraid of what was to come. I took a deep breath and shook the bad thoughts from my head knowing it was ridiculous to jump the gun. I followed behind Carlisle back to Dr. Pendergrass' office and he opened the door, stepping aside to let me in first.

I headed through the door into the dark office and stood in front of the large wooden desk, turning to watch Carlisle as he closed the door quietly behind him and sat down in the chair next to me. I took my own seat and looked at Dr. Pendergrass as she sat behind her desk in an oversized leather chair that made her seem so much smaller than she was.

Dr. Pendergrass leaned across the desk towards us, hands folded, and looked directly at me, her lips pursed. I leaned back into my uncomfortable blue chair and ran my hands nervously through my hair as I looked around the room, avoiding direct eye contact with her. I noticed the plaques that hung on the wall, the degrees from her college and the occasional family photo as the silence echoed throughout the room.

"Well Carlisle, as I was telling you earlier, we seem to have a bit of a problem with the lab work. We tested the whole family, to see if anyone might be a match to Emmilie and as you told us this young man is her father." She lifted her hand and gestured in my direction.

"Yes, that is correct, Edward is Emmilie's father."

"Well, usually in the case of the parents, there are at least some similarities in the tissue typing since they are directly related but in this case, I found no similarities in their tissue…at all." Carlisle arched his brow in confusion and leaned forward.

"What do you mean? Is that possible?" Dr. Pendergrass leaned back and looked back and forth between the both of us.

"It is possible; however it is not too common. However, when we ran Emmett's sample, it came back a partial match, not a perfect match but a partial one and it is possible we will be able to use his. I did some further research and my findings are quite alarming."

"What is the problem?" I held my breath as the anticipation nearly ate me alive.

"Well you see, Emmett is a great match because…well…I am not sure how to say this."

"Just say it," I said leaning forward and slamming my hands down on the desk more forcefully than I wanted.

"Emmett is Emmilie's father." My jaw dropped instantly as I stared back at her and she bit her lip nervously.

"That's…that's not possible. I mean are you completely sure?" Carlisle stammered.

"I tested it myself…twice and I regret to tell you it is the truth."

"Maybe the samples got mixed up." I choked.

"Edward, is it possible you may not be the father?" Carlisle turned to me, resting his hand on the armrest of my chair.

"I…I don't know. It might be but…all this time…. She told me Emmilie was mine and now…it is all a lie. How can this be?" I looked up into Carlisle's eyes, tears burning on my lids.

"Dr. Pendergrass you are positive in these test results?" Carlisle said turning to her and she nodded.

"I am 100% positive." I leaned my head into my hands as I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out of my lids.

I had been living a lie for so long; a lie I believed to be true and had nearly ruined my life. I had fallen so in love with Emmilie and had carried so much guilt around with me for so long about it but it was not even my fault. I felt as if my world was crumbling out from under my feet and I no longer viewed my life the way I had five minutes ago. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved that little girl that sat down the hall in Esme's arms, but my love was misplaced for she was not my own, she was in fact, my niece.

"We have to tell Rosalie," I said lifting my head and looking at Carlisle. He nodded slowly and rose to his feet.

"Thank you very much Dr. Pendergrass for your information." I got up and followed behind Carlisle, my mind racing with thoughts.

Five minutes ago, I had been worried about my daughter's life, hoping to God we would find her a match and now here I was finding out my daughter really is not my daughter to begin with. I had so many emotions running through my mind, anger, pain, sadness, relief…I could not focus on just one.

Carlisle closed the door behind us and he stopped in the hallway, placing his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. I searched his face for some sort of comfort, something that would tell me how to react but I saw nothing.

"Edward, I understand you are upset but you need to get a hold of yourself right now. We have so much to do and so little time. We need to tell Rosalie and Rosalie needs to make a choice."

"Carlisle, Emmilie is Emmett's child! What choice does she have to make? She has to tell him!" I nearly screamed and the nurses in the hall all turned to stare at me.

"It is not our choice to make for her." I closed my eyes and balled my hands into fists.

"She ruined my life. This whole time she has been telling me Emmilie was mine and for what?"

"I think maybe you two need to talk but right now I need to speak with her. Can you please tell her to come back here so we can speak and try to find something to distract Emmett while I do so?" I opened my eyes and nodded as I turned to head down the hall to call in Rosalie.

With every step I took, I felt the rage rise up, my anger nearly overtaking my body as it coursed through my veins at full speed. I wanted to hurt her, I wanted her to feel the way she had made me feel, I wanted to take everything she had and strip her life to the bare minimum like she had done to me.

I had lost so much over this, my mother, my girlfriend…oh Bella…I had nearly forgotten about Bella in this whole mess. I had to tell her about this, I had to let her know the whole thing was a lie and maybe she would understand. I had to get her to stay no matter what the cost. I breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped into the waiting room, feeling freed from my own prison of guilt that I had lived in for so long.

"Rosalie, Carlisle would like to speak with you," I said calmly, hoping my anger did not show itself. She nodded, got to her feet, and scurried off down the hall, her stilettos clicking all the way.

"Hey, Em, I am hungry, why don't we go down to the cafeteria for some lunch."

"No, I will wait for Rosalie." It was unlike him to turn down food and my mouth twitched with nervousness.

"Come on Em," Alice said as she watched me, "I need something, too. Let's go get lunch."

"Yes, dear, don't worry I will stay here and wait for her," Esme said smiling.

"Alright," he said gloomily as he got to his feet.

Jasper, Alice, Emmett and I headed towards the elevator and we all piled in quietly, no one saying a word. I could tell Alice was having a hard time not asking me questions, but by the look on my face, she probably understood it was not a good time. I did not want her to panic but I also did not want Emmett to suspect anything. The promise I made to Carlisle had me tongue-tied. Poor unobservant Emmett, if he only knew the truth.

* * *

**A/N: *Sighs* The story is coming to an end and I am very very bummed out about it. Some might have expected the surprise and some might be shocked and I expect some to hate it. *shrugs* Meh, so sorry. Anywho, thanks for everyone who has supported me and reviews the story. I enjoy reading the reviews you give me with advice and input and I hope you all enjoyed it so far. Leave love my lovely readers, there are still a couple of loose ends to tie up so keep on reading and keep on reviewing! Also if you haven't already done so please check out my other story I have started called Dancing to the beat of a different drum.**

**~J**


	25. A Bloody Mess

**A/N: So very very sorry to my loyal readers for the long delay. School has started up and I have been very busy. There are still a couple chapters left to go sooooo hang in there. It might take me awhile but I will try my hardest. I want to thank you all for waiting so patiently and as always, I own none of the characters. :(**

**Chapter 25-Edward**

The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I stood near the window and watched as Emmett and Rosalie walked hand in hand out of the waiting room, leaving the rest of us in a state of anxiety. Esme had finally convinced Rosalie to tell Emmett. How she had convinced her, of that I was not sure.

I wasn't sure of what she was going to tell him and I was nervous. I paced back and forth in front of the window for so long I might have worn a path into the carpet if it wasn't for Alice.

"Edward, stop pacing. You are giving me a headache," She said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me into a chair next to her. She touched her temples lightly and rubbed.

"I am sorry," I said as I ran my hands through my hair, leaning my head back against the chair. "I just…I don't know what she is going to tell him."

My knee began to bounce nervously and Alice placed her hand on my knee before giving me a dirty look. I could not just sit here and wait while my brother was hearing horrible news. I stood up quickly and headed towards the hallway, turning only when Alice called my name.

"I'll be back; I need to be alone for awhile." I sighed before marching down the hall in search of a dark, quiet place to think.

I found an empty room at the end of the hall and slipped inside. The room was nearly empty except for a bed in the middle of the room and a wooden chair in the corner. I crawled up onto the empty bed and rested my head down onto the soft pillow. Once settled into the bed, I made myself comfortable as thoughts whirled around in my head about Emmett. I wasn't sure how long I had been laying there but my eyes suddenly became heavy and I closed them slowly hoping this was all going to be over when I woke up.

Unfortunately, my life never worked that way and when I woke up later in the same bed, I sighed heavily. I could never escape this life no matter what I did. The room was dark, all except for a sliver of light that poured in from underneath the bottom of the door. I wanted to stay locked up in the dark room forever where nothing was able to reach me but I knew I had to face the world and my brother.

Emmett was possessive, especially over Rosalie and if he knew what had taken place between us that night he would be devastated. I did not want to make him choose between us, I just wanted him to be happy. The choice in the matter was no longer mine anymore so I headed out into the hallway in search of my family.

The hospital was abnormally quiet as I made my way out the door. I looked down the hallway, which was also quiet and empty and headed towards Emmilie's room. The door was open as I approached it and I heard faint voices coming from within.

"He just didn't react how I expected, Alice." That had to be Rosalie.

"What did you expect him to say Rosalie? I mean, really. He is shocked."

"I don't know but silence wasn't what I had hoped for. What will happen if Emmett decides to leave? What am I going to do? I can't do this without him." I heard a sniffle and then a whimper that I assume came from Rosalie.

"I think you just need to give Emmett his space to think. That is big news and if he had reacted any other way, I might have been worried. He loves you Rose and when he is ready he will talk to you." Alice was giving her famous advice once again. I swear that girl was going to grow up to be a therapist.

"I hope that Edward can forgive me one day for this," Rosalie whimpered again.

"Don't worry about Edward right now. His main focus is… elsewhere right now."

"I tried to fix that Alice, I really did but I know I blew it for him."

"If it's meant to be, it will happen. He is going to talk to her again before she leaves. For our sake, I hope she stays because I do not know if I can take anymore of this sullen and dreary Edward. It's really starting to get on my nerves." I heard her sigh.

"Let the boys make their choices Rose," Alice said after a long pause. "I am just glad my Jazzy is a simple kind of guy." They both giggled and became silent yet again.

It was quiet for a long time as I stood in the hall waiting to hear anything else. I was startled when a hand gently touched my shoulder, which I jumped at. I turned to see Esme standing behind me in the shadows, her face pale and bags under her eyes. She chuckled and I noticed her face seemed to age instantly. I never thought about the emotional beatings she had been taking through of all of our angst and teenage drama. She had merely wanted to help her family by adopting Emmilie but it turned into a soap opera in a matter of minutes for her, and I could only imagine what she was going through.

"You scared me," I said as I turned to face her and she smiled widely, deep impressions formed around her light eyes and mouth.

"I am sorry dear," she said as she rubbed her cheek lightly, her eyes looking tired.

"How are you Esme, are you sleeping much? You look tired."

"Oh, don't worry about me darling, I will sleep tonight," She said patting my arm gently before she started for the room

"Esme?" She stopped and turned to me, still smiling.

"I want to apologize for everything that has happened. You should not have to pick up after our messes. We aren't even your children."

"It's not about picking up your messes Edward. You are my family, my only family and I love you boys as if you were my own and essentially, you are my children now. Don't be too hard on your mother. She loves you both, whether or not she says it. We mothers have a weird way of showing it sometimes."

Esme reached up and caressed my cheek gently, smiled and then disappeared into the room. Esme's affection made me miss my own mother. Esme had been the mother to me that I once had in my own mother. It made me sad to think about my mother but Esme was right, I knew she loved me; she was just worried about my future.

I stepped into room, standing in the doorway and looking inside as the three women who stood around the crib where Emmilie was sleeping. Rosalie reached down and caressed her face softly as tears strolled down her cheeks.

Alice turned and saw me, a sad look upon her face as I made my way towards her. Emmilie was sleeping on her back, her thumb in her mouth and her other hand holding tightly to her favorite blanket. I heard Rosalie sniffle and I looked up, at the same time she did, our eyes locking.

"I told him, Edward," she said softly. Alice looked back and forth between us, our eyes never breaking. I said nothing, just stared back at her, her blue eyes red and swollen from crying.

"I think he is going to leave me." I watched as more tears filled her eyes and spilled out onto her cheeks. A tightness in my chest grew and it felt suddenly uncomfortable to look at her. I bowed my head silently, thinking of something to say but nothing came to mind other than one thing.

"I am sorry." I could understand her pain but she had deserved her pain, in every way shape and form but for some reason I felt bad. Amongst all the bad that had come out of this, there was some good as well. I had learned so much from Emmilie in such a short time that she had lived with us.

"You kids are more than welcome to drive back tonight if you would like," Esme interjected in an attempt to break the awkwardness of the situation.

"I'd like to stay tonight, if you don't mind Esme," Rosalie said as she wiped the tears away with the back of her hand and Esme nodded.

"Of course, dear. Go on home you two," Esme said as she nodded at Alice and I. "Take the boys with you. They went downstairs."

Alice hugged Rosalie and Esme goodbye while I made my way out of the room quietly and down the hall. She caught up to me at the elevator and we stood quietly while we waited for the doors to open.

"Does he know?" I asked finally as I stared ahead at the doors.

"I don't know," she said quietly as the doors opened and she stepped inside.

"Don't worry Edward, he is your brother and he loves you," she reminded me as I stepped inside beside her and leaned up back against the wall of the elevator. I could only hope she was right.

We headed towards the lobby where Carlisle and Jasper were standing. We approached the group and they turned when they heard Alice's screeching voice. They both smiled at her voice and she smiled back widely.

"Jazzy," she squealed, as she skipped to his awaiting arms and Jasper scooped her up, kissing her on the forehead.

"Where is Em?" Alice asked as she pulled out of Jasper's arms.

"He went for a walk," Carlisle replied as he pushed his hands into his jacket pockets. "He's a little upset."

"Does he….know?" I said, gulping down nervously.

"He knows that Emmilie is his daughter and that is essentially all he needs to know," Carlisle looked back at me reassuringly and I nodded.

"He is walking around outside," Jasper added.

I left the group standing in the lobby while I went in search of Emmett. A cold breeze rolled through as small snowflakes fell from the sky, landing on the ground and melting within seconds. A chill ran through my body and I zipped my jacket up all the way to my neck. I hope I found him soon, or at least before I froze to death.

I found him minutes later while walking around the parking lot. He was sitting on a bench in a small park near the hospital, his head hung and his hands in his pockets. I made my way slowly towards him and he looked up as I sat down next to him. He didn't say anything for a moment, just continued to staring down at his feet.

"Em? Are you alright?" I said cautiously but he didn't answer.

"I know this has to be a shock for you. I couldn't imagine…" I trailed off then realized how I felt when I found out about Emmilie. He is taking it a hell of a lot better than I did.

"It's not even that Edward," he said finally as he shook his head. "I can't believe she just…she didn't tell me. I would have helped her go through this. This whole time she has been dealing with this all on her own. Why would she not tell me?" He turned to me and I froze.

"Maybe she thought she would ruin your life with a child and she didn't want that," I offered as I looked away. My palms started to sweat despite the near freezing temperature and my chest tightened as my anxiety rose. I hated lying, but lying to Emmett was killing me.

"Ruin it? I love her, she knows that and I would do anything for her." His voice was rough and so full of emotion. I had never see Emmett like this.

"What are you going to do?" I asked as I turned to him.

"I am going to be here for them. I will not be like Dad, Edward. I told myself that when I had kids I would never do what Dad did." I nodded in agreement.

"I think you are making a good decision." I patted his shoulder and he looked up at me with such sadness in his eyes, I thought I might cry.

"I am tired," Emmett yawned loudly as he reached over his head.

"It has been a long day," I agreed. We both rose from the bench and headed out of the park and back across the parking lot towards the hospital.

I was relieved that she hadn't told him but I couldn't help but feel bad. Emmett was all I had now and I hated that he had to go through this and bear this burden alone.

We stepped into the lobby a couple minutes later to see Jasper and Alice sitting in a couple of chairs near the elevator. They got to their feet as we approached, both of their faces blank. I smiled at them and Alice released a sigh of relief.

"Daddy gave me the keys so we could go home," Alice said as she dangled the keys in front of me.

"I think I would like to stay here tonight," Emmett said.

"Are you sure Emmett? Why don't you go home and get some sleep," Jasper responded.

"If Rose is staying, I am staying. It's only fair that I share this burden with her." I looked at him in shock and perhaps my reaction was apparently because Emmett laughed when he looked at me.

"I'll be fine," he said reassuringly. Alice hugged Emmett tightly and she dropped the keys in my hand.

I turned and headed towards out the car, Alice and Jasper leading the way. The wind swept through again causing me to shudder beneath it. I burrowed down into my jacket as I picked up the pace. Snowflakes covered the car and as I opened the door and slid into the front seat, I realized it was no warmer in here. Jasper slid in next to me, Alice in the back. It was just as cold inside as it was outside so I turned the car on and turned the heater on full blast before pulling out of the spot and heading towards home.

I looked up at the hospital, the bright lights shining in the night sky and watched until I could see it no more in my rearview mirror. I was glad to be gone and I breathed out heavily, vowing to leave my troubles in Seattle. Emmilie was no longer my daughter; she was Emmett's and he was ready to take responsibility.

It felt as if a huge burden lifted as the tires touched down onto the highway, speeding out into the night towards our home. I was anxious to get home and to tell Bella face to face what had happened. The truth may not matter but I had to tell her and hope that she understood. I could only hope that our love was enough to survive this.

In the morning, I would call her and tell her the truth. She was going to leave back to California if I did not try. I had to try to make her understand. The thought of her going to California nearly made me sick as I sped down the highway, hurrying to get home to where my heart lay.

-------

"Edward!" I woke from a dead sleep at my name and I sat up in bed just as my bedroom door pushed open, Alice appearing in her pajamas.

"What?" I mumbled sleepily as I rubbed my eyes.

"Edward, she's gone," she stammered as she jumped onto my bed.

"What?" I couldn't comprehend things at this god awful hour. It had to be early still.

"I called her house, looking for her and Meg said…"she stopped suddenly for a breath and I stared back at her, her eyes wide and her chest heaving up and down in an attempt for air.

"Meg said Charlie had taken them to the airport." She stopped, took another breath quickly and looked at me as I stared off out the window in shock.

"We have to go stop her," she said as she jumped off my bed and looked around my room.

"Bella is gone?," I whispered.

"Edward did you hear me? We have to go now! Get dressed." She threw a pair of pants that had been lying on the floor at me, hitting me in the face and knocking me out of my trance.

I couldn't think straight and my mind tore off in many different directions as I tried to focus. My mind came up with elaborate scenarios so quickly and I began to panic. I gulped down hard, finally realizing this required action on my part, and headed towards my closet for clothes while Alice sped off out of my room.

The closet was dark so I reached around until I found a shirt, slipped it on along with the pair of jeans that Alice had thrown at me and I ran down the hall towards Alice's room just in time to see her run out of her closet fully dressed. I looked at her and nearly laughed at the sight of her. She was dressed in mismatched clothes, her short dark hair sticking up in all directions and a somber look on her face. She bolted out of the closet, shoes in hand and raced towards me. She pushed past me and out the door while I followed her clumsily as I tried to make my way down the stairs without tripping.

She stopped at the front door, peering out at the rain and pulled on a pair of tennis shoes and a raincoat before pulling the door open. My heart pounded wildly in my chest as the cold air barreled its way into the house, waking me up a bit more.. The wind pushed against Alice as she struggled to hold onto the door while turning back towards me, as I stood motionless in the entryway.

"Edward! Are you coming?" She yelled against the wind. A sudden image of Bella's face flashed in my head and I began to shake. I couldn't let her go; I wasn't ready.

I grabbed my raincoat and put my shoes on quickly, ran past Alice and sprinted towards the garage,carelessly splashing in the mud puddles on the way. My wet feet were the least of my worries at the moment. Once the garage door was open, I grabbed my keys from the box on the wall and we jumped into the car.

"Are you making the right choice?" Alice asked as she turned to me, her dark hair dripping wet with water.

"I don't have a choice anymore, Alice. My heart made up it's mind a long time ago." I started the car, sped out of the garage and down the driveway, back towards the highway.

The sky was dark, the sun nowhere in sight but I knew it had to be mid-morning. I skid onto the highway, the tires spinning against the loose gravel as I pushed the car faster down the freeway.

"Where did he take her?" I asked as I focused on the white lines in the middle of the road.

"Well, there is only one to take her to and it's in Port Angeles." I floored the pedal and the car jerked forward as I made my way to Port Angeles, my mind wandering with what it was I was going to say to convince her to stay with me.

"What if she won't stay?" I questioned, a bit of panic in my voice.

"She has to stay. She loves you." She touched my arm gently and I turned to her, tears threatening to expose my true fear.

"She left once already." I retorted.

"She walked in on you and Rose, of course she left. She was hurt. The wound has healed since then. It has been nearly six months."

"Six months for her to get over me!" I countered.

"She's not over you! Don't you get it! If she did love him, she would have said it instead of hesitating and she surely would not have let you kiss her."

I hoped Alice was right because I was putting my heart on the line, which I was not accustomed to doing very often. I had opened up to her and I felt vulnerable. She held me in the palm of her hand and she did not even know it.

I looked down at my cell phone, growing more anxious as the minutes ticked by, hoping to God she hadn't left already. Alice tried to make small talk, but my insecurities drowned her out as I continued to tell myself this wasn't going to work.

"How long ago did they leave?" I asked suddenly, interrupting her in mid-sentence.

"Well she said the plane takes off around ten," She said looking down at her phone as well. It was 9:50 and we were nearly fifteen minutes away.

I gripped the wheel tighter, my knuckles turning white, as I pushed the car towards eighty miles an hour. I didn't care if I got a ticket for this, this was my one chance to prove myself and I wasn't about to let her down again. I was going to fight for her, no matter what it took.

The car sped down the highway, going nearly as fast as my heart, as we reached the city limits of Port Angeles. I had been only to the airport once and vaguely remembered it when I had arrived in Washington nearly a year ago. I looked over at Alice who was gripping the seat nervously, a look of fear spread across her face.

The fact Alice was worrying made me worry even more. Alice was not the nervous type but by the look on her face, she was having serious doubts right now. We sped through town, speeding past buildings and homes, trying to make it to the other side of town where the airport was.

I finally saw thedim lights of the runway come into view and I sped up, trying to see if the plane had left yet. I saw one plane, sitting on the runway still, the rain suddenly slowing down. I was not sure if they had boarded yet but if they had, I knew it would be too late. I pulled into the parking lot and parked the car in front of the doors. My heart pounded even harder as I pushed the car door open and slammed it shut behind me.

"Edward, this is a no parking zone, you can't park here," Alice yelled to me over the top of the car.

"Then move it," I yelled to her before I turned back and ran through the automatic doors. I looked around the small airport, a couple of people sitting in chairs, others standing in the ticket line. I raced down the long corridor, which I knew led to the gates, looking carefully as I passed. Everyone looked the same as I raced past people standing around when finally I saw Charlie walking towards me.

I sprinted towards him, out of breath and he looked at me surprised. I leaned forward, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath as I stood in front of him. My lungs burned as I inhaled quickly, short raspy breaths.

"Bella…where…where is she?" I finally managed to choke out.

"Son, she is boarding the plan," he said cocking his head to the side. "Aren't you one Alice's cousin? Edmund or..?

"Yes," I shouted out as I took off running, not stopping to correct him.

"You'll never make it," he called out after me. "Believe me, son, I've tried."

"I have to try," I yelled back to him but he just shook his head and kept walking towards the exit.

I headed for the last gate, my legs going as fast as I could manage when a short, blonde woman closed the door after her, stopping me dead in my tracks. She smiled at me politely as she pushed back her hair and stood in front of the door, her hands folded in front of her.

"I have to get in there," I said as I tried to go around her.

"I am sorry, sir. The flight is boarding passengers. Do you have a ticket?" She asked, still smiling.

"No, I am not flying, I just need to talk to someone on the plane," I said, once again trying to shuffle past her but she held her hands out this time.

"I am sorry sir; we are not longer letting anyone else but passengers on the plane at this time. It is policy. The next flight leaves tomorrow afternoon and if you like, you can catch that one."

I nodded in defeat as I turned to walk around, knowing there was no way I was going to get around her standing in front of the door. She smiled as I turned away, content that I had backed down and made her way towards the customer service desk. That was when I saw my opening. I turned back around and bolted towards the door, pushed it open and ran down the narrow tunnel towards the plane. I heard her shouting as she ran after me, her high heels echoing loudly through the tunnel.

I finally reached the entrance of the plane where a thin balding older man was closing the door but by the time he looked up to see me, I pushed past him onto the plane. The older man fell back against the wall, stunned at my presence. I looked up at all the people on the plane in search of Bella, but I didn't see her anywhere.

"Sir, I am sorry but we are about to take off. You can't be on here," He said angrily as he grabbed my shoulder. I shrugged it off and turned to him.

"I am not getting off this plane without her," I said through gritted teeth.

"Sir, I have to ask you to leave," he said going to grab my arm but I stepped back, escaping his grip.

"No, I have to find her." I turned and ran down the aisle, skimming the many unfamiliar faces as I went by.

"Bella," I called out, but no response. Maybe I was on the wrong flight. I began to panic with every passing row and still no Bella.

"Bella," I yelled out again and this time someone stood.

Ryan stood up in his seat and narrowed his eyes on me. I searched the seats around him but I saw an open seat next to him. He looked down at the empty seat then met my eyes again, this time a sad look spreading across his face.

"Where is she?" I asked him through gritted teeth as I made my way towards him. He opened his mouth to speak but a hand on my shoulder stopped him short.

I turned around to see two security guards standing behind me, both with what looked to be tazer guns in their hands. My shoulders shrunk as I turned back to look at Ryan who stood staring at me.

"You are going to have to come with us," the taller of the two guards said as he escorted me off the plane.

My stomach began to churn as the thought of Bella leaving on the plane with him. I wanted to run and find her but I knew there was no way I could get away from these two guards. They followed behind me until we passed through the gate. They closed the door behind me and I watched them walk away. I felt helpless as I walked to the window and watched the plane move towards the runway.

"She's gone," I whispered as I watched the plane gain speed and lift into the air.

I lowered my head as I headed for the entrance, my heart broken again. She had made her choice and yet again, it was not me. My heart sank even further as I continued to think about the two of them together. My mouth and throat suddenly became dry and I searched around for a water fountain.

I saw one up ahead near the bathrooms so I made my way towards it to get drink. The water ran for a moment before I drank, watching it flow down the drain. I had everything in my head figured out and now, it was not that way. I took sip of the cool water, it instantly fixing the case of cottonmouth I had recieved no doubtedly from all of the running around I had been doing.

I turned around to head towards the automatic doors when suddenly the door to the women's bathroom swung open and slammed right into my face. The door connected with my nose and immediately I felt a throbbing pain. My eyes began to tear up as I grabbed my nose in agony. I felt a warm liquid pool into my hands and I knew then that my nose was bleeding.

"I am so sorry," A soft feminine voice exclaimed and I turned away from her, closing my eyes. "Let me help you." I suddenly felt tissues underneath my nose.

"Ahh," I mumbled, wincing at the pain.

"I am so very sorry," she said again. My nose throbbed as I gently pushed the tissues up into my nostrils to soak up the blood.

"I am so clumsy sometimes," she whispered from behind me.

"It's ok," I mumbled through my mouth, the words coming out a bit nasally. This was just my sort of luck as of late. The throbbing subsided a bit and the bleeding felt like it stopped. My head pounded as I turned around to face the woman who had might have broken my nose.

"Edward?" I heard her gasp. I opened my eyes and through the tears, I saw a blurred Bella standing before me.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" I sputtered in astonishment, trying to focus on her face.

"I…I could ask you the same thing," she said, a hit of annoyance in her voice.

"I mean…I thought you were on the plane…with Ryan," I said.

I pulled the tissue back from my face and looked at down into her beautiful dark eyes. She looked saddened by my presence as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, her shiny dark hair, flowing down around her shoulders. I felt the corner of my mouth curl into a slight smile and I reached out and touched her face with my clean hand.

"Bella," I whispered. "I thought you went back to California. I saw Charlie and he said you were on the plane…"I trailed off.

She looked up into my eyes and I saw a small glistening of tears form on her bottom lid, her bottom lip quivering. She shook her head and stepped back, but I grabbed her arm again with my free hand and pulled her to me.

"I…I couldn't go. I told Ryan that I had to stay and I got off the plane almost immediately."

"That's why he looked at me the way he did."

"You saw him? Where?"

"I thought you were on the plane so I kind of…ran on and I saw him but before he could say anything the security guards pulled me off the plane."

"You ran onto the plane for me?" She said in horror. I nodded and I saw a smile curl up at the corner of her mouth

She grabbed the tissues from my hand, gently wiping under my nose as I watched her, flinching as she ran the tissue over my nose. I reached up and grabbed her hand, her eyes never breaking our gaze.

"I can't let you leave me again. I am sorry for not telling you the truth but Rosalie lied to me too. Emmilie isn't even my daughter, Bella, she is Emmett's." I said softly.

"What?" She furrowed her brow in confusion.

"We found out yesterday. They did blood tests and they determined Emmett was Emmilie's father. Nothing happened between us Bella. I love you and only you. Always have," I said as I reached up and cupped her cheek.

This time she did not flinch away. She leaned into my hand ever so slight and smiled. I dropped my hand from her face and I sighed deeply, wondering what it was she was thinking.

"Say something Bella," I said as I stepped closer to her, her eyes turned down towards the floor. "What made you stay?"

She looked down at the floor, nervously playing with the zipper of her jacket. She always was so cute when she was nervous. I brought my hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to mine, waiting for an answer.

"Bella?" I asked as she looked up into my eyes, a small smiling coming across her face.

"Because I love you," she finally whispered. "It didn't matter what happened in the past, I was just too stupid to realize that. I am so sorry I left you here to deal with this all on your, Edward."

I stood in complete shock, unable to move, as my nose continued to throb. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was really seeing this, hoping this wasn't just another one of my cruel dreams. When I pulled my hands away, Bella was standing in front of me, looking up at me again, a smiling curling up at the corners of her soft pink lips. She grabbed my hand and gently squeezed.

"I guess I always knew that but I was holding onto what you did. I didn't want you to hurt me again so I left. I wasn't sure if I could be hurt again and that scared me so much but when we ran into each other at the market I just…I couldn't hold onto it anymore."

"I love you Bella and I meant every word I said to you that day. You mean so much to me." She nodded and her pink lips curled up into a smile.

"Come on," she whispered and I couldn't help but smile. It was finally the way it was supposed to be. I stood there looking at her, her beautiful face and her dark hair as she stopped in front of me, her warm hand in mine and I was finally happy again.

She tugged my hand and I followed behind her as we walked hand in hand towards the doors. I followed behind her in silence until we reached the long corridor where I had run into Charlie. I pulled on her hand and she stopped suddenly.

"Why didn't you just tell me you were going to stay that day? " I inquired.

"I had to come home. I waited for you, you know. I thought you would follow me back home and try to convince me to stay."

"You should have told me."

"I was waiting for you to come find me yesterday but you never showed up so I figured you didn't want me." She lowered her eyes to the floor but I placed my fingers under her chin and lifted her eyes to mine.

"I would never not want you Bella. We got a call from Emmilie's doctor up in Seattle. I was planning on coming to you, I really was but they told us it was critical. We went up to Seattle and they told us about Emmett being the father. I figured you would be here for a while longer. I didn't know you were going to up and leave!"

"Is she ok?" She questioned.

"We hope so. She just needs a transplant." She sighed and she grabbed my hand, squeezing gently.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when you needed me. Come on, let's get home," she said as she nuzzled into the crook of my arm.

We walked down the corridor back towards the automatic doors in silence and stepped through them. I had been expecting the overcast sky and the rain from earlier, but when I looked up into the sky, I noticed the sun was peaking out around a series of clouds that were passing, exposing more of the sun every second. Finally, the sun was shining so brightly I had to shield my eyes and I laughed.

"What's so funny?" She said poking me gently in the ribs. I laughed again but this time it made my nose hurt and I winced.

"When you left, you took the sunshine with you and now that you are back…" I said as I motioned to the sun and she smiled.

"It's back, huh?" She laughed.

"Cheesy, I know but it's true." She leaned her head onto my chest as we stood on the curb looking up into at the sky. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head gently.

"I love you Bella," I whispered and she moaned happily.

We stepped off the curb and made our way to the car where Alice was waiting. Alice would be surprised to see that I had brought her back and I was anxious to see the look on her face when she saw Bella. I had no only brought back my girlfriend, but her best friend and that was better than any Christmas present I could give her.

* * *

**A/N: So I apologize once again for the long wait for the chapter. Please review and give me tons and tons of love. It is what gives me the motivation to continue writing and blow off my homework. HA. Thanks again to my loyal readers. Hope this is how you all envisioned it. If not, I apologize. Anywho...leave a review, pretty please with sugar on top. Don't make me beg people!**

**~J**


	26. Atonement

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, been uber busy. I hate how life gets in the way of my writing. By the way, don't get the flu. It really sucks!**

**Bella**

**Chapter 26**

Change is uncomfortable but it is for the best, right? We all have choices in life; its one thing or another and it doesn't always turn out the way we want. I made my choice and that was Edward. I was willing to risk everything to give him a second chance. Why? Because I am madly in love with him and no matter how I played it out in my head, I always would be in love with him.

I wish that I figured it out earlier instead of putting Ryan through so much. I actually felt bad for him falling in love with me as if it was my fault. I loved Ryan, in my own way, but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough for me because in the back of my mind I would be thinking of one person. Edward.

Ryan took the news better than I expected which made my guilt grow to the size of a large balloon that sat in the pit of my stomach. He explained he understood, as I looked him in the eye and told him I couldn't go back to California. The air in the room was stifling, nearly choking me to death while I spoke.

"I love him Ryan," I said quietly as I stared into his blue eyes. He blinked profusely, probably to stop what I hoped were not tears because if he started to cry, I would too.

"I figured as much," he said as he leaned his head back into his seat with a sigh. The fabric of the seatbelt rubbed uncomfortably against my hips as I shifted nervously in my seat. This was probably the most awkward conversation I have ever had in my life. Well, next to the one Mom gave me about the birds and the bees.

"I didn't expect this to happen. I mean, I didn't come here for this." I tried to explain but I knew I was digging myself further into my own grave.

"The way I see it is I have two options. I either kick his ass…" he trailed off as he looked around the plane, hiding his face from me.

I gasped in horror of the thought and his face shot around. He stared into my eyes, a pained look on his face. I gulped down the large lump that had now formed in my throat, fearing he might do something irrational.

"Or….I could just let you go and be happy." My eyes widened in shock as he stared back at me, a smile creeping up at the corners of his mouth.

"I….what?" I stammered through my confusion.

"Look Bella there is really nothing to say. I am not going to try to convince you to stay with me. If I did that, I would spend the rest of my life wondering if I just was that great of a debater to make you stay or you really loved me. I do not want to wonder if he would always be in the back of your mind. I cannot live that way, Bella. I want all of you or none at all and if you can't give that to me, I wish you nothing but the best."

I stared up into his beautiful blue eyes as tears stung my lids. Shock froze me as I turned his words over in my head. Everything he said I knew to be true and I knew he was right but I could not help but feel the guilty, especially for his understanding.

"I wish you would go back with me but that would be selfish of me. I want nothing more than your happiness, even if it means letting you go," he said as he brushed a piece of my hair that had fallen across my forehead.

That was the last memory I had of Ryan. The sadness filled my heart, making it nearly unbearably heavy as I looked around my dark, empty room. The quiet helped me think, but thinking was not necessarily a good thing.

Once Edward and Alice had dropped me off that night after dinner I immediately climbed the stairs to my room, never offering Charlie an explanation that I knew wouldn't last. It wouldn't be long before he made his way to my room to give me the third degree. I needed to find some way to explain it all to him without his parental instincts kicking in too much. My luck was running out and quick.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting in the dark for but the knock finally came on the door. It scared me at first but I knew immediately who was on the other side. The door slowly swung open, a large shadow appearing in the doorway. I sighed as he stood in the hallway, his body motionless. He almost looked like a scary monster in a nightmare at least that is kind of, what it felt like. I was scared.

"Bella?" His voice was rough.

"Yeah Dad?" I whispered meekly as I pulled my knees into my chest.

"I think we need to talk." He flipped on the light switch, the brightness nearly blinding me.

The talk with Charlie lasted what seemed like hours as I spilled my guts to him. I couldn't keep lying to him. He deserved to know. Somewhat. I decided it would be best to leave out the part about Emmilie. Minor details.

He kept quiet through most of the talk, letting me explain my feelings and my reasoning for leaving Forks. He nodded here and there, as he listened intently as I confessed my feelings for Edward.

At the end, he sat still on the edge of my bed, staring back at me as I held my knees defensively into my chest. My heart was pounding as the seconds ticked by and he still said nothing, the anticipation nearly killing me. Was I going to be in trouble and grounded for life or was I going to be lucky yet again? I think my luck has run out.

"I will say that I am not sure I will ever understand the logic of teenage girls but I understand love Bella. I hope he treats you right sweetheart."

"Oh Dad," I said throwing myself forward, flinging my arms around his neck and hugging tightly.

"Now, now, don't go getting too excited. I said I understood love but it doesn't make up for your irresponsible behavior. You cannot just fly off to where ever you want because some stupid teenage boy has hurt you. You won't be going anywhere for a long time young lady and I hope you realize you can not go unpunished for this."

I pulled back and looked into his stern face. I nodded quickly, glad he understood and glad he wasn't upset, at least not too upset. He sighed heavily as he got to his feet, the floor creaking underneath his weight.

"It's late and you better get some rest. We will discuss your punishment tomorrow." He made his way to my door but before he left, he turned to me and smiled.

"Goodnight Dad," I said as I curled up underneath my comforter.

"Goodnight Bells. I love you." He pulled the door shut quietly and the room grew dark once more, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

-------

Charlie was right when he said I would not be going anywhere. I spent the rest of my Christmas break locked up in the house catching up on reruns of Golden Girls and Andy Griffith. Not exactly the way I pictured the rest of my break. Nevertheless, it was worth it because tomorrow I would finally see Edward. It was the first day back at school and it would be the first time I would be able to see him since my punishment.

It was hard to fall asleep that night and the next morning I woke up nearly thirty minutes before I was supposed to be awake. I jumped out of bed, wide-awake and crept down the hall quietly towards the bathroom for a nice hot shower.

After the shower, I made my way back to my room, noticing the house was eerily quiet. Usually Charlie was already out of bed by now with the rich aroma of coffee beans brewing wafting up towards my room, waking me from a deep slumber.

I closed my door behind me quietly and immediately went to my closet in search of something fantastic to wear. It was not an extraordinary day except for the fact that it was my first day back to school in Forks in nearly six months. Not to mention this was going to be the first time seeing my boyfriend in nearly a week.

I pulled back the door of my dark closet and peered inside, sighing as I looked through the clothes. I tugged at sleeves of itchy sweaters, flannel shirts, overgrown and over-washed t-shirts. I suddenly wished that Alice were here. She could dress me in a matter of minutes.

I was beginning to become frustrated at my lack of fashion sense, which never seemed to bother me until now. I looked down at my pale yellow towel that I wrapped around me as I exited the shower and I threw myself backwards on my bed, moaning loudly. The springs squeaked underneath my weight like bad brakes on an old car. I heard footsteps coming down the hall, which I assumed was Charlie coming to wake me for school. I heard them stop in front of my door accompanied by a light tap and I called for him to enter as I sat up.

To my surprise it was not Charlie, it was Megan. She pushed my door open very slowly, a smile spread across her face as she stepped into my room. I held my towel around me tightly, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"I am sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to interrupt you but I heard you out in the hallway. Are you alright?" She said as she leaned against the doorjamb still smiling.

"Yes. No." I sighed loudly as I got to my feet, a draft from the hall blowing into the room and sending chills up my spine. "I can't seem to find anything to wear to school."

"What's wrong with what you normally wear?" She inquired a confused look on her face.

"Because…it's…oh you wouldn't understand." I sputtered like an old car as I turned towards my closet.

"I know we haven't really been able to get to know each other that well but I want to let you know that I am here for you if you need me. So if it's something I can help you with…let me know?" She smiled and turned to leave the room but I yelled to her before she left.

"Well, maybe you can help them. I just feel…stupid. It is a big deal. It's my first day back to school here and the first time seeing Edward since I got grounded."

"We can look through my closet for something if you would like." She waved me over and I reluctantly headed towards the door. I went through my mind, thinking about the outfits that Megan had worn over the few times that I had seen her and decided she had decent enough taste.

I followed Megan down the hall towards the bedroom she shared with Charlie. I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach as I entered. Thoughts of my mother in this room ran through my head as I looked around but it was nothing like it had been when she lived here.

The large bed sat in the middle of the room covered by a comforter the color of asparagus, neatly made. A picture of my mother sat next to the bed on a wooden side table. I assumed that was my father's side. A more modern painting, which looked a lot like a five-year old painted it, replaced the old country side painting that once hung above the bed. The room itself was just much more modern. Meg called my name from the closet. I followed her voice and stopped behind her as she pulled the closet doors wide open.

The closet was a small closet, about the same size as mine was but had nearly two times the amount of clothes mine held. There was a colorful array of clothing of many different fabrics hanging from inside. Meg pushed some of the colorful sleeves aside and looked through a couple of sweaters and shirts, nothing that looked appealing.

"Well Bella, what did you have in mind?" Meg said as she stepped aside and leaned against the wall, a smug look on her face as I stood in shock.

"I…I don't even know." I stepped forward towards the closet and fingered a pale blue long sleeved shirt. The fabric was soft and worn. It made me think of my mother. She used to wear soft clothes, the fabric softened from the many washes, smelling of fresh laundry and cherries.

I pushed aside soft fabrics, itchy fabrics, sweaters, t-shirts, jackets, jeans. I was overwhelmed as I pawed through the clothes, slowly looking it over before passing it up for another piece. My fingers finally landed on a soft sweater, a deep ruby red with a v-neck. I looked it over carefully and pulled it from the closet, examining it further, turning it over.

"I love that sweater," Meg said softly as she watched me.

"She was wearing that sweater when we first met," Charlie said from the open door. He was holding a steaming mug of what I assumed was coffee. He wiggled his mustache playfully and Meg laughed.

"I was just helping her find something to wear," Meg said made her way over to Charlie. She slipped her arm behind Charlie, leaned up, and kissed his cheek gently.

She whispered to him quietly, her long jet-black hair falling across her face, hiding her beautiful auburn skin. Charlie chuckled, a deep low sound coming from his throat and he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

I turned back towards the closet, embarrassed by their complete lack of shyness for showing affection. I was surprised at how often my father was affectionate with her, noting that he had never been that way with my mother. I pulled the sweater to my chest quickly and made my way towards the door wear Charlie and Meg were still standing, her arms still wrapped around him.

"Thanks Meg, I think this will work." I said shyly as I shimmied past them, trying not to interrupt their conversation.

"Not a problem, Bella. Anytime," She replied. I turned to look at her as I pushed open my door and she winked at me before I slipped into my room, closing the door firmly behind me.

I exhaled deeply as I leaned back against the door. A faint giggle from the hallway floated through the thin wooden door and I pushed away to finish getting dressed. A dark pair of blue boot cut jeans lie across my chair and I picked them up. I decided it would be perfect to pair with the scarlet sweater and slipped them both on quickly.

I searched through my duffel bag from California for a pair of calf boots as dark as coal. They finally revealed themselves underneath mounds of dirty clothes and other shoes. I pulled the boots on and zipped them up, the cool leather pulling tight against my skin.

I was nervous and my body shook gently as I headed for the door, fumbling with the doorknob as I made my way to the bathroom. Thoughts of hairstyles ran through my head as I remembered looking through Alice' fashion magazines with her one day. Experimentation was not welcome today, at all, so I got to work with just the basics I knew I could do.

I got to work on my hair, drying it first then curling it just as Alice showed me. Alice always complained that I never dressed up, but today I was going to go all out. I pulled my make up bag from underneath the sink and poured its contents out onto the counter. Eyeliners, foundations, eye shadows and lip-glosses littered the counter.

Once I had finished I smiled back at myself in the mirror, pleased at my reflection. I headed back into the hallway and down the creaky old stairs towards the kitchen. Charlie sat at the table, newspaper in hand. He looked up from his paper as soon as he heard the clicking of my boots on the linoleum and smiled thoughtfully at me.

"You look nice Bells. What's the occasion?" He said folding the paper back up with a loud crinkling noise and placed it on the table.

"No reason, Dad. It's just my first day back to school so…I just kind of wanted to look nice today." I said as I pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with orange juice.

He scrunched up his nose, nodded his head as he thought about my logic, finally assuming it made sense and he got to his feet. He stepped towards me, his heavy boots echoing throughout the kitchen as he put his arm around my shoulder. He leaned down, kissed my cheek gently and mumbled, "I love you" before heading out of the kitchen.

I couldn't help but recognize how different Charlie had become over the last couple of months. Meg had really changed him and all for the better. He was happier than I had ever seen him before and it warmed my heart. How cheesy, I thought as I rolled my eyes.

The ride to school was nerve racking. All I could think about was seeing him. I was nervous, excited and happy all at the same moment. The mixture of emotions was nearly too much to handle. I felt like I was going to explode like a firework.

I pulled into the parking lot after what felt like hours and found my usual parking spot open. The car idled in the spot for a moment before I turned the car off and grabbed my bag. I looked out the window and noticed the sky, which was dreary and gray. At least it was not raining. It might mess up my hair. I rolled my eyes as I thought about what I had just said. I was going to hurt Alice for turning me into a full-fledged girl.

I quickly scrambled out of the car, pulling my bag over my shoulder and heading towards where Edward and Alice usually hung out in the mornings. The bag bounced rhythmically against my hip as I walked slowly through the parking lot, scanning it for my two favorite people.

I spotted them near the normal spot, Alice sitting on the back of Edward's car and Edward leaning against the side, looking aimlessly down at his shoes. I stepped carefully towards them, trying not to make a noise when I stepped into a pothole. My ankle twisted and I screamed in pain as I went down, the contents of my bag spilling out in front of me.

Edward and Alice immediately looked up and they both came running when they noticed me. My face turned bright red and burned hot as I got to my hands and knees. I felt familiar hands grab underneath my arm and pull me up quickly.

My hands stung with bits of asphalt stuck into my skin. I glanced down at the palms of my hand and noticed my skin was a bright pink and was threatening to bleed. I lifted my eyes and was face to face with the most beautiful face I had ever seen. I felt dizzy at the site and I felt my knees get weak.

Edward grabbed my arm again, steadying me on my feet just as I felt a heavy object hit my side, nearly knocking me to the ground again if it wasn't for Edward grabbing my arm. A blur of midnight colored hair spun around me, tiny arms enrapturing me and squeezing me until a tiny squeak burst from my throat. She pulled back and giggled loudly as I struggled to put myself back together.

"Hell Alice. You nearly killed my girlfriend," Edward said winking at me playfully. My heart fluttered. He had never called me his girlfriend aloud and in public. I felt my face blush, probably a deep shade of pink and I smiled up at him lovingly.

"I am so glad to see you. I thought you might not show," She said, sadness in her voice.

"What? Why would I not come to school?" I asked apparently confused.

"Well, I just thought that you might have changed your mind and went back to California," She said looking down.

"Of course I wouldn't do that. I promise that if I decide to leave I will tell you next time. Besides, Charlie said I am not allowed to go anywhere for a long time and I believe that includes running off back to California." I smiled back at her reassuringly and a small smile curled up at the corners of her mouth.

Edward stepped towards me and I immediately wrapped my arms around his waist, locking my fingers securely. I nuzzled into his chest, taking in his smell, which was my favorite smell. I moaned happily, as he gently squeezed me and kissed the top of my head.

I pushed back from Edward, drinking him in like a tall glass of water. He was beautiful as usual in dark jeans and a jade green button down shirt, which made his green eyes sparkle even more. His bronze hair perfectly disheveled, beckoned me to run my fingers through it.

"I've missed you so much," I said pushing myself back into his chest.

"You have no idea," he murmured into my hair quietly.

"Come on you two, get a room." Alice huffed.

I turned to her, laughed and grabbed her arm, pulling her off towards the science building. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I sighed happily. The feeling of being able to reveal out relationship to everyone felt as if I had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.

We walked down the hall, the students scattering about quickly like rats as we headed towards our class. We had all managed to get the same science class this semester, our last and final semester.

My day went smoothly until after lunch when I ran into Jessica in my PE class. When she saw me, she seemed startled at my presence but I pretended to ignore her completely until she approached me while we were doing laps on the track.

I was half expecting her to be a bitch, complaining about what a horrible friend I was but instead she was as sweet as apple pie. She greeted me with a hug, which was awkward for me but she didn't seem to notice. She asked me where I had gone and what I was doing in California before switching the subject to her and Mike, of course.

"Jess? I have to stop you," I huffed out as we jogged together side by side around the track.

"What's wrong? Are you ok?" She said her voice full of concern. I stopped abruptly and a boy nearly ran into the back of me but I jumped back just in time.

"I am fine." I attempted to catch my breath again before I spoke.

"What is it?" She placed her hand on my shoulder as I bent down, hands on my knees, to catch my breath.

"I just wanted you to know that I don't care." I muttered as I stared down at the red asphalt of the track.

"What?" Her voice was full of shock. She pulled her hand away as I stood up straight to look at her.

"I said that I don't care. Not only did you not even care where I went, you did not care what happened to me. You never bothered to call or find out where I was and to top it all off you even tried hitting on Edward. You don't have to explain yourself; Edward told me all about it."

"I…I tried to go by your house but it was…" She stammered, trying to think of excuses but I cut her off.

"Like I said, I don't care so if you don't mind, please stop pretending you care one ounce about what happened to me and where I've been. I'd appreciate it if you just stopped pretending to care about anyone but yourself."

That was it. I turned and left her standing in the middle of the track while people gave her dirty looks as they ran around her. I raised my head up as I ran, feeling satisfied for sticking up for myself after so long of her selfishness. I was free.

The rest of the week went on without a hitch without any sign of Jessica. I assumed she must have transferred from the class. I spotted her once in the cafeteria, sitting with Mike Newton and Lauren Mallory. She raised her head as Edward, Alice and I entered the cafeteria and immediately turned away when we caught eyes.

On Thursday morning, I convinced Charlie to let me off my punishment. It had been two weeks already and I debated my punishment, which Meg joined in, and my sentence reduced to two weeks. The release from my dull prison overjoyed me as the thought of being able to spend one night with my boyfriend and best friend was present.

After school on Friday, we headed to Port Angeles for a movie before we headed back to Forks. I followed behind Edward and Alice in my car as we headed back towards the house. We pulled into the clearing where the house sat and I stared up at the large house. I was slightly nervous, knowing the last time I had been here was when I caught Edward and Rosalie.

I pulled into my usual spot, hesitating to get out as I continued to stare up at the house. It was dark, no lights on in the house and I realized that no one was home. A tap on my window startled me and I turned to see Edward and Alice smiling back at me.

Alice grabbed the door and yanked it open. I grabbed for my bag just as Alice was pulling me from the car. I stumbled from the car, nearly dropping my bag in the midst. Luckily, I grabbed the door to balance myself and stood up right. Alice and Edward both snickered at me but I gave them a cold look and they both stopped immediately.

Alice laughed again as she grabbed my arm and pulled me up towards the house, Edward trailing behind us. All was quiet except for the jingling of Edward's keys as he followed behind us up the stairs. He pushed past us towards the door as Alice and I stood arm and arm while we waited for him to unlock the door.

Immediately greeted with the smell of pine and a faint smell of gingerbread as soon as we entered the living room. Even though it was dark, I could still see the garland and the strings of lights that hung from the high ceilings. No one had bothered to clear the Christmas decorations, probably because everyone was in a hurry to get to Seattle.

"We haven't bothered to clean up since Christmas," Edward said as he rocked back and forth on his heels as he watched me look around the room. "I think that was Alice's job."

"Hey! You know I don't clean up very well." Alice huffed in defense.

"No but you can sure dirty up a place real quick."

"Why would anyone want to take down Christmas decorations anyways? They are so lovely," she said as she fingers a crystal icicle that hung halfway up the tree. She bent down quickly and plugged the lights in and the whole room light up, the ceiling sparkling like stars on a clear night.

I gasped in awe as I looked around the room. The twinkling lights shone through the crystal icicles, casting rainbows across the walls. Outside the sun was ducking behind the trees like a child before bedtime; linger amongst the treetops for a little longer before it went to sleep for the night.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Alice said as she gazed around the room at her handiwork. "You see why I wasn't ready to take down the decoration?" She exhaled loudly, a look of satisfaction on her face.

A sudden knock on the door prematurely interrupted us. Alice leapt from the floor like a frog escaping death and raced towards the front door. She squealed loudly and I heard a male voice.

Alice suddenly appeared in the living room, Jasper by her side. He was wearing a grin that spread from ear to ear as he stepped further into the room. I furrowed my brow in confusion as I looked back at them and they all laughed.

"I thought that Jasper went to school in…" I started but Alice interrupted me.

"College starts later than high school." She squeezed his arm and he looked down at her and smiled. "He has to go back next week but for now we are going to spend as much time as we can together."

"Hi Bella," Jasper said with a small wave of his hand.

"Hi Jasper, nice to see you again."

"Yeah. Glad you are back. "

"Me too," Alice chimed in. "Now I have someone to go shopping with." She bounced excitedly up and down, as if she were a small child who just received a new toy. Jasper let out a sigh of relief and she elbowed him gently in his ribs.

"What are you two doing tonight?" Edward inquired as he took a seat near the window, staring out amongst the trees.

"We are going for dinner and there is a back to school party going on at someone's house tonight. I did not even think about doing a back to school party. Too bad because I love parties."

"As we can all see," I said motioning to all the decorations. "You can't have another party here unless you planned on cleaning up this mess," I pointed out and she frowned.

"I already told you I didn't want to destroy such beauty. I mean look at it. Wonderful."

"If you say so, Al," I mumbled as I cocked my eyebrow at her.

"Well we have to go, we have reservation."

"Reservations? At what the local diner?" Edward joked and Alice shot him an icy look.

"Come on Jazz," she said as she pulled him to the door. "Don't wait up," she yelled behind her as the door slammed shut loudly.

"Was it really necessary to tease her?" I said throwing Edward a smug grin. He got to his feet, stalking towards me slowly like an animal stalking its prey and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Course I did. She loves the attention." I leaned my head back and looked up at the ceiling; the ceiling peppered with little lights.

"They are so beautiful, like little stars." I suddenly felt Edward's warm lips on the hollow of my neck, lingering for a long minute before raising his head.

"Not as beautiful as you are," he whispered into my hair as I brought my head forward. I stared up into his eyes, the dim lights dancing across his eyes as he smiled down at me.

My heart pounded violently in my chest like a drum, beating faster and faster with each passing second. We stared into each other's eyes silently; the tension in the room was agonizing.

He cupped my face gently in his hands as he leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. My lips tingled gently as he pulled away, the intense magnetism obvious. I felt my knees begin to shake and I prayed to God to keep me standing. I didn't want to embarrass myself right now.

I exhaled loudly in frustration, lust coursing through my veins like adrenaline. A lock of golden brown hair fell across his forehead and my fingers twitched to push it away. I slowly reached up and pushed the hair back, holding my hand gently to his head.

The desire to intertwine my fingers into his hair became unbearable and I thrust my hands up into his hair, knit my fingers through his hair that felt like silk. He moaned softly and I reached up and kissed him, harder than I had anticipated and he moaned again, this time into my mouth.

His grip tightened around my waist, pulling me up gently, closer to his mouth. I opened my mouth slightly, letting my tongue jet in and out of my mouth and gently ran my tongue along his bottom lip. My tongue met his and I gently massaged it, a small moan escaping my mouth.

"Bella," he breathed in between kisses. I tugged gently on his hair and he tilted his head back in pleasure as he pulled me closer into his tight rigid body. I kissed his neck frantically, planting small wet kisses along his collarbone as I felt his whole body tense up. He thrust his hips into me and I could feel the hardness in his pants, alerting me to his excitement.

"Bella," he said again as he pulled his head forward and looked down into my eyes. His eyes were dark with lust as he brushed my hair back out of my face.

"I love you Edward," I whimpered, pushing myself into his hips, the tightness in his pants growing. His eyes rolled back and I kissed along his jaw line all the while gently massaging his hair.

"I love you too Bella," he said, his voice rough and distracted. He kissed me roughly, nibbling on my lip as he held me tightly with both his hands.

Gently I pushed Edward and he stumbled back hurriedly, hitting the wall near the fireplace hard. The wall vibrated and a picture frame fell to the floor, the glass shattering. The noise echoed loudly, bouncing off the walls like a tennis ball. We stopped immediately at the noise and I gasped in horror.

"It's ok," Edward said as he stared down at the broken glass, his grip on me releasing.

"I am so sorry," I said backing away from him. He stepped towards me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back towards him.

"It's just a picture frame Bella," He said cupping my cheek with his hand. I stared down at the picture but he pushed my face back towards him, a bright smile on his face.

"But Esme…" I said nervously, suddenly feeling guilty for being so careless.

"Don't worry about it," he soothed and leaned down, planting a soft kiss on my lips. The kiss lit my lust again, like a burning fire it rose up in my chest, warming my body.

I kissed him back, more aggressively and he spun me around. He backed me up slowly, until my back was flat against the wall. We continued with the passionate kisses as I ran my hands down his chest, stopping at his hips and hooked my fingers through his belt loops, pulling his hips into me. He groaned in pleasure as I held his hips to mine, his grip on my waist tightening.

He reached down, pulled my thigh up, holding it next to his leg, and ground his hips into me. I felt his excitement grind against me and I gasped in shock as I hooked my leg around him, pulling him towards me.

He surprised me as he pulled at my other leg, lifting me from the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved his hands underneath me, gently squeezing my butt as he pressed into me again.

I squeezed my thighs together as I held onto him and he dug his fingers into my butt, pushing me higher. I felt his hardness, the heat between my legs burning with desire. I wanted him; I wanted all of him.

Finally, after what felt like hours of kissing, I felt my back pull away from the wall as he carried me slowly towards the couch, our lips never breaking our kiss. He leaned down slowly, my head touching the soft cushion of the couch, the rest of me following. I felt his body press down on me, his knee wiggling its way in between my legs as he leaned over me. The dim light of the Christmas lights cast a certain glow about his face, making him look nearly angelic. I smiled up at him, locked my hands behind his head and pulled him towards me, embracing him in another kiss.

I felt his hands creep up my side, pacing gently up and down until his fingers touched bare skin at the hem of my shirt. He hesitated for a moment before he slipped his hand underneath my shirt, gliding up towards my breast. My breathing hitched as we continued to kiss, my mind only thinking about his hand that was hovering directly underneath my breast.

His hand was warm and firm as it pushed my bra up gently, his warm fingers splaying over my breast, encompassing it completely. I moaned out in pleasure, thrusting my hips up into him as his hand pressed harder down onto my chest.

My fingers raced towards his shirt, fumbling with the buttons, slowly unbuttoning them as I tried to focus on getting them open and not the fact that his hand was on my breast. Eventually the last button popped open and I pushed his shirt back, revealing his perfect warm skin. I ran my hands down his warm muscular chest, over his nipple and I could feel the thumping of his heart against my palm. I ran my hand further over his stomach, his body growing tighter. I stopped at the waist of his jeans, hovering over the button, waiting for the right moment.

His gently kneaded my breast, the pressure almost perfect before his other hand made its way to my other breast and mimicked the other one. I slowly parted my lips and he entered my mouth, massaging my tongue firmly, more frantic than before. A cool breeze floated over my bare stomach, chills vibrating up my back, shaking me gently as I felt the goose bumps rise on my arms.

I slipped two fingers underneath the waistband of his jeans, his skin soft and hot to the touch. I gently unbutton his pants, unzipping them quickly until I could feel the fabric of his boxer briefs against my fingers. I ran the back of my fingers up and down while he pushed himself further into my hand, wanting more pressure. I immediately felt his excitement against my hand and he sucked in air quickly in apparent shock.

His kneading of my breast sped up as my hand moved quicker over his rock hard erection. He broke our kiss and immediately brought his mouth to my neck, sucking and kissing the sensitive skin, leaving me gasping for breath while my mind clouded over.

I felt one of his hands leave my breast, gently gliding down my bare stomach and stopping at my jeans. I felt a quick tug and suddenly my jeans were loose around my waist, his arm hooked around inside them, gently caressing my butt. He shimmed my jeans down until they rest at the tops of my thighs. My mind was racing in so many directions as I continued to focus on his hands and my hands. The rubbing, kissing touching was making me go nearly insane with lust.

I quickly moved my hands to the sides of his jeans, pushing them down further while he kissed my neck hurriedly. He brought his lips back to mine, his tongue immediately finding mine once again.

I pushed his shirt back off his shoulders, the muscles in his arms flexing as he held himself over me. He pulled the shirt off the rest of the way, throwing it carelessly to the side. He pressed his chest into me, our bare skin touching, nearly igniting on contact. The heat between us grew with every kiss and touch that I thought I might burst into flames at any moment.

He pulled his mouth from mine as he raised my shirt over my head, my bare chest exposed to him. He slowly kissed his way down the middle of my chest as he gently massaged both my breasts in his hands, only stopping when he came to my belly button. He sat up and tugged at my jeans as they slowly made their way down over my knees, calves and finally my feet before he dropped them to the floor in a pile.

I lay before him in nothing but my underwear as his eyes scanned over my body. The icicles from the tree cast rainbows across his bare chest as he sat over me, a crooked smile on his face. He reached down gently and caressed my cheek with his thumb as I watched his chest rise and fall in an attempt to slow his breathing.

"I love you Bella," he murmured before he leaned down and kissed my cheek softly. I was sure I started to blush but was glad it was dark enough that he could not see.

"I love you too, Edward," I sighed happily, as I gripped his arm in my hand, the muscles tense.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked calmly as he searched my face for a sign of doubt but I nodded quickly my desire to continue. He reached down, painfully slow, slipped his fingers under the elastic of my underwear and tugged down until they were up and over my feet. He dropped them down next to my jeans before sliding his own off and dropping them in the same place.

I couldn't help but be nervous, it was my first time and I wasn't sure what I was doing at this point. He climbed on top of me, positioning him in between my legs adding to the already growing heat.

I held my breath, snapping my eyes shut as I waited. He kissed my jaw sweetly while I waited, the anticipation nearly killing me. My body began to ache as I raked my fingers down his back. Edward threw his back and hissed quietly before he dropped his head, his eyes closed. I was afraid I had hurt him but when he opened his eyes, I realized it had the exact opposite effect.

His eyes were dark as he stared down into mine, my heart racing in my chest as he positioned himself between my legs and lowered himself down into me. My muscles tensed as he pressed inside me. I immediately felt a sharp pain as he slowly pushed himself inside of me. I gasped in pain and he stopped suddenly, holding his body perfectly still over mine.

"I'm sorry. Bella? Look at me," he mumbled after I hadn't responded.

I opened my eyes slowly, my vision blurred as I looked up into his face. The pain stung like thousands of needles, pressing into my skin and I felt the burn of tears on my lids. I bit my lip as I tried to hold back the tears and nodded slowly for him to continue. He continued again, before he began thrusting gently, the pain subsiding with each lunge.

The heat between my legs grew to an all time high, the pleasure growing with every thrust. I pulled him closer to me, our bare chests touching, his heart pounded like a drum. He kissed me wildly as I let my mind run loose as well as my inhibitions. I hiked my legs around his firm butt, pulling him closer to me. He reared his head back as he moaned loudly, sweat beading across his chest, glistening in the dim light. I stared up at his face, studying his chiseled jaw as it drew tight, his teeth clenched and his eyes squeezed shut. A pained look crossed his face as he began to shake. He groaned again and I bit down on my lip as the thrusts became more urgent, deeper.

So many different sensations overwhelmed my body, ones I had never felt before as I fell further into the unknown abyss. The thrusts grew quicker and quicker, his moans more frequent. I moved my hips along with his, intensifying my pleasure until I couldn't hold back anymore. Heat radiated from my core, creeping outward with the sensation of a slow submersion into a warm bath until it reached my fingertips. I closed my eyes as I let the feeling overwhelm me, succumbing to the pleasure. I moaned loudly, digging my fingers into his back, a loud growl coming from his mouth as he thrust one last time before collapsing onto my chest.

I gently caressed his sweat laden golden hair and he moaned softly. His body lay heavy on my chest, his cheek sticking to my damp skin as he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him tightly. I twirled his disheveled hair lightly around my fingers while I listened to his heavy panting finally die down into deep long breaths.

He turned his face, his chin on my chest as he looked up into my eyes lovingly and grinned widely. I smiled back at him as I played with his hair and he kissed my damp skin. He pulled himself up and rolled over next to me, pulling me down onto his chest. Our naked skin gently pressed against each other, still warm and sweaty as we closed our eyes and drifted off into the most blissful sleep I have ever had.

* * *

A/N: I hope it's how everyone hoped and imagined. Review relentless my loves! I enjoy all of your feedback! It warms my heart.

~J


End file.
